singlelife Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Does it actually work? If you like a man why do you behave in the opposite manner?
ditzchic Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I've done it. It works briefly. It usually backfires fairly quickly though. I wouldn't recommend playing that game. If you like him, act like it or you could lose him.
chryssy83 Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I don't play games. In my opinion games lead to more games, and my life is too busy/awesome to spend a bunch of time playing games with guys. I'm looking to enrich my life through real relationships, not entertain myself by toying with everyone's emotions. That's just me, though...
dasein Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 In tune with the women who have posted, I don't find many women doing that. It's pretty plain whether you are "in" or "out" these days.
Cypress25 Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I've never intentionally played hard to get, although in my younger days, I was accused of it because I was too shy to let on that I liked a guy. I didn't know if he liked me, so I figured I could save myself a great deal of embarrassment if I played it cool around him. What's an insecure high school girl to do?
dasein Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 What's an insecure high school girl to do? Drink a bunch of Boone's Farm and get it on with Billy Tom in the bed of his pickup.
lululucy Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I've only played hard to get once but it was with this guy who was playing all sorts of games with me. Hard to get quickly turned into impossible to get and I bailed on him. I'm not one for games: if I like you, you know it.
Soxfaninfl Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 If a girl does this, I move on. I can't stand women that do this.
lululucy Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 If a girl does this, I move on. I can't stand women that do this. I think that's true of most sane men. I'd see it as a red flag if the guy I'm dating is willing to put up with a bunch of bs just to see me -- he must be desperate or shady in some way. I don't know why some women think they're some sort of magical prize to be earned and I especially don't get why some guys let it happen.
Titania22 Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I have never "played hard to get". In my experience however the men I have most wanted have run the other way, whilst men I have no romantic interest in, have been the ones who ended up building full on scenarios in their heads (i.e. falling for me). So it is food for thought. I have wondered if I could behave the same way towards men I am interested in as I do to ones I am not, I might have had more success.
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I've done it. It works briefly. It usually backfires fairly quickly though. I wouldn't recommend playing that game. If you like him, act like it or you could lose him. If a girl does this, I move on. I can't stand women that do this. I think that's true of most sane men. I'd see it as a red flag if the guy I'm dating is willing to put up with a bunch of bs just to see me -- he must be desperate or shady in some way. I don't know why some women think they're some sort of magical prize to be earned and I especially don't get why some guys let it happen. Agreed. All these posts are a waste of time. I can't stand hard to get either. It's a waste of time.
kaleidoscope Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Hmm..very interesting thread. I'm a big fan of not playing games. But....I do think that there is a place for trying to seduce someone. What I mean is essentially flirting and letting someone know you really like them in subtle ways. Without letting them know that they can have everything. Just enough hints to give them hope and a little excitement of what they could have. I really love admiring and flirting with someone this way. Its a LOT of fun and its playful and sexy. It builds up all this sexual tension. Imagine flirting back and forth with someone you really like ALL day! But of course it has to be two people actually serious about the flirting, not one person stringing the other around.
jstobo Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I have never "played hard to get". In my experience however the men I have most wanted have run the other way, whilst men I have no romantic interest in, have been the ones who ended up building full on scenarios in their heads (i.e. falling for me). So it is food for thought. I have wondered if I could behave the same way towards men I am interested in as I do to ones I am not, I might have had more success. I think this is the crux of it! Waiting a few days to respond and not showing too much has been classified as playing games. But Titania has hit the nail on the head. When I like someone and that person likes me and neither one of us play games, I find that in two or three weeks, everything crashes and burns. You basically let each other have everything without really taking time to find out who each other are. I think the "games" are a good way to go slow, learn about each other and actually build a relationship. It comes with a lot of insecurity and it has to be perfectly balanced, so you don't give the other person the idea you aren't interested or you're a player. But in the end, I think a real good and solid relationship is formed. unfortunately, this type of courting is labeled playing "games" and seems negative.
Author singlelife Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 Hmm..very interesting thread. I'm a big fan of not playing games. But....I do think that there is a place for trying to seduce someone. What I mean is essentially flirting and letting someone know you really like them in subtle ways. Without letting them know that they can have everything. Just enough hints to give them hope and a little excitement of what they could have. I really love admiring and flirting with someone this way. Its a LOT of fun and its playful and sexy. It builds up all this sexual tension. Imagine flirting back and forth with someone you really like ALL day! But of course it has to be two people actually serious about the flirting, not one person stringing the other around. Well that's the trick isn't it? So just what are these subtle ways of letting people know you like them without seeming to hard to get?
Author singlelife Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 I think this is the crux of it! Waiting a few days to respond and not showing too much has been classified as playing games. But Titania has hit the nail on the head. When I like someone and that person likes me and neither one of us play games, I find that in two or three weeks, everything crashes and burns. You basically let each other have everything without really taking time to find out who each other are. I think the "games" are a good way to go slow, learn about each other and actually build a relationship. It comes with a lot of insecurity and it has to be perfectly balanced, so you don't give the other person the idea you aren't interested or you're a player. But in the end, I think a real good and solid relationship is formed. unfortunately, this type of courting is labeled playing "games" and seems negative. That sounds fine and dandy but a lot of people don't really know how to communicate that they like someone. So it comes off like they don't like them and the man moves on.
jstobo Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 That sounds fine and dandy but a lot of people don't really know how to communicate that they like someone. So it comes off like they don't like them and the man moves on. Totally! But most of our complaints are about how long a man or woman takes to respond to something, whether it's a text or phone call. Insecurity builds up and eventually we make the mistake to say, "hey you must not be that interested" or something like that. That is usually the start of the other person losing interest. Am I right? Anyone? The other extreme is two people go out, text all night long, go out again, text all day long, have sex, and then crash and burn because they are now in an "exclusive relationship" without really getting to know each other. There needs to be a happy medium.
loversquarrel Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I think that's true of most sane men. I'd see it as a red flag if the guy I'm dating is willing to put up with a bunch of bs just to see me -- he must be desperate or shady in some way. I don't know why some women think they're some sort of magical prize to be earned and I especially don't get why some guys let it happen. Some guys will play games if they are invited to do so. If a woman plays games with such a man and she likes him, she will be hurt in the end.
Shaun-Dro Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Does it actually work? If you like a man why do you behave in the opposite manner? Women who do this are cowards and need adrenaline rushes every waking part of the day. They seem to be everywhere and range anywhere within the early 20s to early 30s mark. They usually cut it out when they've lost most of their looks and the situation reverses on them.
Jane2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Any time I've played "hard to get" with a guy I actually do like, it's been just barely. Like, waiting 30 minutes to text/call back rather than right away. (Probably true "hard to get" is actually ignoring the call or calling back a day or two later). Or saying no to a date but immediately suggesting another day (and usually it's because I really am busy on the first day he suggested). Or, saying, "I have to go" first when we've talked on the phone (but that is not anything that would cause a guy to worry). In other words, I've never played hard to get so severely that the guy could actually perceive me as elusive and actually hard to get. He'd see it more like, "She's not at my beck and call, granted, but she's certainly there for me."
HughHardcastle Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I think men use "playing hard to get" as an excuse for being rejected. "No dude, it's not that she doesn't like my messed up teeth or bald spot, she's just playing hard to get."
Author singlelife Posted December 23, 2011 Author Posted December 23, 2011 Any time I've played "hard to get" with a guy I actually do like, it's been just barely. Like, waiting 30 minutes to text/call back rather than right away. (Probably true "hard to get" is actually ignoring the call or calling back a day or two later). Or saying no to a date but immediately suggesting another day (and usually it's because I really am busy on the first day he suggested). Or, saying, "I have to go" first when we've talked on the phone (but that is not anything that would cause a guy to worry). In other words, I've never played hard to get so severely that the guy could actually perceive me as elusive and actually hard to get. He'd see it more like, "She's not at my beck and call, granted, but she's certainly there for me." I've said it's the girls using bad technique. They actually give off the impression that they don't like a dude.
El Brujo Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 Online dating pretty much killed HTG. Nowadays, the woman who plays HTG ends up not gotten. BTW I hated it when women played HTG back when HTG was still pretty much the rule.
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