billythefish Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 great post by the way...ive been hardcore N/C for 3 months & was thinking about texting merry xmas also.. N/C is one of the toughest things ive ever done & im glad i didnt sent my text....good luck & merry xmas everyone.
billythefish Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 been thinking.....what if the ex texts us dumpees ?..it MIGHT happen we just dont know & not sure how i would respond...i might even be upside down behind the xmas tree after drinking too much wine to notice or even care...lol
PoppyLove89 Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 PoppyLove89, believe me, he's thinking of you. Perhaps not dwelling, but you crossed his mind. Last year I was in the same predicament as you, my ex and I broke up two months before Christmas, in October. I used to think that he hated me, that he wasn't thinking of me at all, that he was purposely being mean to me. I don't think it's so much of that as them wanting to move on, not wanting to hurt us any further, and perhaps not knowing what to say. We can't comprehend what they are thinking so we convince ourselves they hate us and want to hurt us, because it's easier to think those thoughts than to think that they do care, but not enough. I will never forget going through some things and being angry my ex wasn't there for me, and I went as far to call him and tell him I felt like I was reaching out and he wasn't (I know, dumb move, lol ) He was respectful..but with a bit of anguish in his voice, said "I don't know how to reach out to you." So there it is. Sometimes they don't reach out to us because they are selfish, but that doesn't have anything to do with you or the kind of person you are or were in the relationship. That has to do with who THEY are. And for someone who is guilty, pretending you don't exist..is probably the easiest way they can move on. He's thinking of you. Hey may not love you or care for you in "that" way anymore, but after a while of dating someone, you just don't forget them. I have long since realized my ex doesn't have the emotional capacity to be a real friend to me because he tends to run away from every hard thing in his life. But I don't think your ex or my ex "hates" us or doesn't think of us. I just think they are trying to move on, and want us to do so as well. Well I'm sure you're right, we'll have crossed their minds...especially since I saw him last night in a club (I stayed strong and avoiding going over to talk to him - go me! He clocked me but did the old 'blatantly ignoring you to make it look like i'm over you despite always looking over anyway'. You know when they go out of their way to flaunt it in your face? Have a read of my last thread called 'Bump in with my ex number 2' (or something along those lines lol) from last night and let me know what you think... I figure if he's fallen out of love with me already within 8 weeks then it was never real to begin with, am I right? Hope you have a very HAPPY Christmas and thank you for your feedback! Hopefully this time next year we'll all look back on this year's Xmas and laugh because we'll all be in much better places
mike588 Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 been thinking.....what if the ex texts us dumpees ?..it MIGHT happen we just dont know & not sure how i would respond...i might even be upside down behind the xmas tree after drinking too much wine to notice or even care...lol I wondered that too...if I were(I know I'm not) to get a Merry X-Mas text I don't know how or if I'd respond........maybe a response of....Ditto and leave it at that.
PoppyLove89 Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 I wondered that too...if I were(I know I'm not) to get a Merry X-Mas text I don't know how or if I'd respond........maybe a response of....Ditto and leave it at that. Yeah I think I'd wait an hour or two, keep him stewing a bit, and then simply reply "And to you x" but I know this won't happen in a million light-years. My ex has turned into a selfish, cold-hearted prick since the split (mind my french) despite me being nothing but civil and even if that weren't the case and he did miss me, he'd never admit it. He's too stubborn to make the first move, always has been!
Randybrandt Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 I am going through a rough patch here right now today. I just wish want to send my ex a text but if I do that clearly she wins saying it is okay I broke Randy's heart into two and cheated on him. I win good for me! I also keep thinking about her exchanging presents with her new beau and kissing him and maybe even hoping for a ring. I actually think of these things:sick: I cannot shake her out of my mind thinking how happy she must be and forgetting all the good times we had and move on with her new beau so quickly.
PoppyLove89 Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 Randybrandt: There is literally nothing you can do in this situation. She's in a new relationship and until it takes it's natural course, ie. they break-up or whatever, it's probably best you stay NC. Focus on moving on, believe me, I know it's hard! We shouldn't make people our priority if we're clearly only an option to them...we deserve better! More often than not, the dumper regrets leaving a dumpee that treated them well but we'll have done our grieving by the time this happens and we'll be over it and in a better place- I don't know why/how you broke up but just hold your head up high and focus on yourself! Spend time with friends and family, have fun and get back to you
Marianis Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 ive been NC for 7 months and didnt sent anything. i really think they will wonder about us!!.. i dont feel bad or sad about it .. but i wished that he could have sent me something but didnt. I was really happy yesterday but.. in some point of the night i was thinking about last year .. when i was with him and the great time we had.. but also about him with his new gf this year... until i told my sister and then she helped me to forget about it and just enjoy the awesome family time Did miss him a lot tho :S. I read comments about how the exs have someone else and we dont... but come on!! .. its not the end of the world yet and we will find someone and next christmas it will be our time to share with that person! right?!
SkyEmtRN Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 IM HOLDING STRONG!!!! I have not sent anything to her. I do but I don't....but her number is not on my phone. This sucks hard core becuase at times I want to send a message....but then at times I dont...5 minutes ago i wanted to send one....Now I don't... Be strong everyone!
perfectlyflawed459 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 I have managed to refrain from texting my ex today and I am glad I did so I am keeping my three month NC strong and I did managed to enjoy my day with the people I love. His younger sister did send me a message though saying Merry Christmas and that I was so beautiful and that we (her family) misses you so much. It kinda made me feel blehh but then I embraced it because it does feel good to know his family still loves me way more than his new girl Stay strong everyone, they may seem all smiles and stuff, but you never truly know how they really feel.
mike588 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Wooo Hoooo...Christmas is almost over and I feel good...no tears today no worries.....didn't send her anything and didn't recieve anything (email) and I'm ok with it!! Ahhhhh feels good to put this/her behind me!! Hang in there everyone..No Contact helps sooooooo much!
solobeary Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Wooo Hoooo...Christmas is almost over and I feel good...no tears today no worries.....didn't send her anything and didn't recieve anything (email) and I'm ok with it!! Ahhhhh feels good to put this/her behind me!! Hang in there everyone..No Contact helps sooooooo much! Same here!! A part of me would have liked to have received something of course, but, being rational, I'm glad I didn't. Need to keep moving forward and getting strong through NC.
sunflower11 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Well i made it..i was sad and deep down almost wanted him to text to show he cared or was thinking about him but he didnt. Maybe its best this way. Sure i was sad and missed him but i promised myself to try to enjoy the night and my family and i did. today is a new day! Im proud i didnt break NC.
sunflower11 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Well i made it..i was sad and deep down almost wanted him to text to show he cared or was thinking about him but he didnt. Maybe its best this way. Sure i was sad and missed him but i promised myself to try to enjoy the night and my family and i did. today is a new day! Im proud i didnt break NC.
Author Jono85 Posted December 26, 2011 Author Posted December 26, 2011 (edited) congrats guys. i also had a great evening with family/extended family, didn't think about her once. there's more work to do tho guys, as new years is right around the corner, and this thread also includes that. but now that we've mad it through christmas, i'm sure none of u will have issues making it through NYE and yes we ARE getting stronger by making it through the holidays without contacting them. we don't need them anymore! we have an amazing life to look forward to without them. i'm sure they can sense all this and don't like it. even if they thought about us for a split second all holidays. let's keep it up! Edited December 26, 2011 by Jono85
Anna_broken Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 I haven't called/texted either, the 6 weeks NC is going on... (it's been two months since the BU). The BU was sudden, I never understood the reason (there was no other person), we had plans for travelling these days. It never happened... Besides the nice relationship and the friendly BU, he didn't send anything either... I probably mean nothing to him, or he doesn't remember me and the 4 previous Christmas we spent together any more...
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