ZimboGon Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Well, backstory. My family is pretty poor, and i work three jobs to help pay for the mortgage. So because of that, i don't have much money for myself or to afford a car (i'm 20) My last girlfriend has a really wealthy family. She was given a car, and because of that when we wanted to go on dates, she had to drive. It was a horrible embarrassing experience for me. She told me she was okay with it, but i'm not sure i believe her. Not to mention how blue collar her dad was, he lost all respect for me because of it. However, there was nothing i could really do about it. We ended up splitting due to a bunch of reasons, and she left me for another guy a week later, who has a car his parents bought him. I know thats NOT the reason why she left me, but... would that contribute to it? Thoughts?
lululucy Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 The bigger turn off is someone who is not financially responsible enough to own a car. You are contributing significantly to your family's finances and that more than makes up for having the assets available to you for a vehicle. My bf now has a car but I've dated guys in the past who haven't and I honestly did not mind driving, didn't make a lick of difference to me.
Wolf18 Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 I don't have a car and know for a fact this takes points away from you in the eyes of women. I live in NYC 2 blocks away from a myriad of trains and buses, having a car is more of a hassle and needless expense than a convenience . Not having a car is also awesome because people never ask you to be the lame ass "designated driver" when your friends are bruisin their livers up at the bar.
ditzchic Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Unless you live somewhere extremely walkable, yeah it's a turn off.
lululucy Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 I don't have a car and know for a fact this takes points away from you in the eyes of women. I live in NYC 2 blocks away from a myriad of trains and buses, having a car is more of a hassle and needless expense than a convenience . Not having a car is also awesome because people never ask you to be the lame ass "designated driver" when your friends are bruisin their livers up at the bar. People look down on you for not having a car in NYC?? Jesus. I can't even imagine the point of having a car there -- the first time I went, I tried taking cabs but it just took SO LONG that once I figured out the subway, I never looked back.
Author ZimboGon Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 Ugh... I wonder if things had been different had i had a car. :/
2sure Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 You are ONLY 20 years old and working 3 jobs to help your family with the mortgage. And managing it without a car. Thats very impressive. Keep doing what you need to do. I worry you arent continuing your education however. As a woman I would be more concerned about your ambitions and plans than your car.
Author ZimboGon Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 You are ONLY 20 years old and working 3 jobs to help your family with the mortgage. And managing it without a car. Thats very impressive. Keep doing what you need to do. I worry you arent continuing your education however. As a woman I would be more concerned about your ambitions and plans than your car. Well, i took a year off to work and be with my ex (who now left me). I planned to start classes next year however.
93TheHitStick Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Get a car bro. You are 20. And you have a job. But no most girls, especially the young ones, won't care if you have a car. Especially if they know your story. I am only 16. But i have hung out with a lot of girls who drive. And i don't. Not a big deal.
Wolf18 Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 People look down on you for not having a car in NYC?? Jesus. I can't even imagine the point of having a car there -- the first time I went, I tried taking cabs but it just took SO LONG that once I figured out the subway, I never looked back. Yes they do. You see, it's not about what makes sense, it's about having one just because. Of course a car can come in handy once in a blue moon. I asked my friend to give me a ride because I had to bring a lot of stuff I needed to help my dad renovate his apartment in New Jersey. His girlfriend said "Ugh, wolf18's 22 and doesn't drive, what a loser" Between insurance, payments, maintenance, gas, and a parking space, it's really just out of my current economic reach to have a car that's going to sit in the garage 29 out of 30 days of the month.
oaks Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 It was a horrible embarrassing experience for me. (If that's the sort of thing that embarrasses you then you've got an interesting life ahead!) Anyway, you don't own a car because you come from a poor background and you're spending your money somewhere else. She does own a car because it was bought for her. Doesn't sound like she did anything to earn it. If she or her family looked down at you because of your different financial position then that's a reflection on their poor character, not on yours. To answer your question - yes, not owning a car will be a turn-off for some people. Having said that, pretty much anything is a turn-off for some people. Some people won't care. Find a girl like that! Transvision Vamp put it better: I don't want your money, honey I want your love and I don't want your car, baby I want your ... ahh! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UH1Rs6LSvBs
ShannonMI Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Well, backstory. My family is pretty poor, and i work three jobs to help pay for the mortgage. So because of that, i don't have much money for myself or to afford a car (i'm 20) My last girlfriend has a really wealthy family. She was given a car, and because of that when we wanted to go on dates, she had to drive. It was a horrible embarrassing experience for me. She told me she was okay with it, but i'm not sure i believe her. Not to mention how blue collar her dad was, he lost all respect for me because of it. However, there was nothing i could really do about it. We ended up splitting due to a bunch of reasons, and she left me for another guy a week later, who has a car his parents bought him. I know thats NOT the reason why she left me, but... would that contribute to it? Thoughts? If the guy had a steady job, but had a ton of other bills to pay like you do and couldn't afford having a car, I'd be fine with that. Or if he lived in a big city where having a car isn't a necessity because of public transportation, that would be fine as well. Now if the guy was a f*cking bum with no job, no ambition and no car, I'd be completely turned off. Sounds like this girl may be a bit materialistic. If her family is super rich, maybe she just doesn't like dating a guy that isn't loaded. I'm sorry she dumped you. That sucks:(
jobaba Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 How do you get to 3 different jobs without a car? Honestly, at age 20, if you're a good looking kid, you don't need a car. If you're not so good looking, YOU NEED A CAR! Unless you're in college.
ShannonMI Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 I don't have a car and know for a fact this takes points away from you in the eyes of women. I live in NYC 2 blocks away from a myriad of trains and buses, having a car is more of a hassle and needless expense than a convenience . Not having a car is also awesome because people never ask you to be the lame ass "designated driver" when your friends are bruisin their livers up at the bar. Having a car in NYC is just stupid. The traffic is always crazy and the parking is even worse. You're actually lucky you don't have the expense of a car, Wolfie. I wish I had that option. The payments, the insurance, the gas, the upkeep. The sh*t gets expensive.
jobaba Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 I don't have a car and know for a fact this takes points away from you in the eyes of women. I live in NYC 2 blocks away from a myriad of trains and buses, having a car is more of a hassle and needless expense than a convenience . Not having a car is also awesome because people never ask you to be the lame ass "designated driver" when your friends are bruisin their livers up at the bar. I have many friends who have household incomes exceeding 200K in NYC. Most of them don't own a car. It can't be taking away that many points from you.
Wolf18 Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Having a car in NYC is just stupid. The traffic is always crazy and the parking is even worse. You're actually lucky you don't have the expense of a car, Wolfie. I wish I had that option. The payments, the insurance, the gas, the upkeep. The sh*t gets expensive. Yeah, I am generally put off by the debt you inevitably have to get into to have a car as well. This is the only car I would ever consider getting into debt for http://youtu.be/bXzLiI3mOpA I have many friends who have household incomes exceeding 200K in NYC. Most of them don't own a car. It can't be taking away that many points from you.[/Quote] I live in the borough of Queens where it's more common to have a car than Manhattan, so girls expect it. But even here you can get around via bus/train very easily.
ShannonMI Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Yeah, I am generally put off by the debt you inevitably have to get into to have a car as well. This is the only car I would ever consider getting into debt for http://youtu.be/bXzLiI3mOpA I live in the borough of Queens where it's more common to have a car than Manhattan, so girls expect it. But even here you can get around via bus/train very easily. Yeah I'd imagine a Metro card for the month/year is a lot cheaper then a car.
Soxfaninfl Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Well, backstory. My family is pretty poor, and i work three jobs to help pay for the mortgage. So because of that, i don't have much money for myself or to afford a car (i'm 20) My last girlfriend has a really wealthy family. She was given a car, and because of that when we wanted to go on dates, she had to drive. It was a horrible embarrassing experience for me. She told me she was okay with it, but i'm not sure i believe her. Not to mention how blue collar her dad was, he lost all respect for me because of it. However, there was nothing i could really do about it. We ended up splitting due to a bunch of reasons, and she left me for another guy a week later, who has a car his parents bought him. I know thats NOT the reason why she left me, but... would that contribute to it? Thoughts? Get a motorcycle. They are cheaper than cars plus they are cooler and you don't need insurance for them.
ShannonMI Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Get a motorcycle. They are cheaper than cars plus they are cooler and you don't need insurance for them. Ditto to this!! I love a man who has a motorcycle. Although if you live where there is snow or it's cold as f*ck, they aren't too fun.
Soxfaninfl Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Ditto to this!! I love a man who has a motorcycle. Although if you live where there is snow or it's cold as f*ck, they aren't too fun. Yeah that is true. Here in Florida, I don't have to worry about snow. OP which state do you live in?
fallenenvy Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Get a motorcycle. They are cheaper than cars plus they are cooler and you don't need insurance for them. I have a motorcycle and i assure you.. if its not below a certain amount of cc's you do need insurance... its cheap though. about $100 a year... although you are outa luck if you get caught in the rain.. ( i know all to well) Past that... if you live in an area where you don't need a car it is hardly worth having. I live in an area where there are fields and vast expanses of nothing all over the place so cars are a must. I'm more turned off by guys that have no ambition.. don't work.. don't care about their future etc. than ones that simply can't afford a car.
kaylan Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 It depends where you live OP. In a place like NYC, its a plus to have a car if you live in the suburban borough of Queens or Staten Island. Since there is less traffic and its actually quicker than public transportation. In the other boroughs tho, its a waste of time and gas money. So while it makes it easier to date since you can get around quicker and on a whim...its not imperative. Especially at your age. I lived in Queens until I was 20...and didnt have a car. It never affected me. The bus and train was enough for my dating life. The fact that you have a job and make adult contributions to your household will say a lot to a girl. For most women its not about THE car, its that a car symbolizes that you have your stuff together and are responsible. You already show this with your current circumstances without the car, so your good. Now once you are out of a big city, its a whole different story. I went to school in the suburbs on NY. Not have a car while living in a college town is fine and women wont care...However, outside of the college atmosphere a car very much matters in the suburbs since public transportation is a lot less common or cost effective. Having your own car is lots better up here because its many times quicker and because its really the only way to get around, or go to other towns. And up here in the burbs, more often than not, you will be dating a girl from a neighboring town. So it tends to be a turn off if someone thinks theyll have to be driving all the time...especially considering the lack of decent public transportation. Theres not much use for it up here when you consider the smaller population size and smaller population density. I know I usually groan when Im on an online dating site and the suburban women dont have a car. On the other hand I dont care when the city women dont have cars
darkmoon Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 cars a bad for the planet, tell the snobs that, but maybe a taxi sometimes if it's cold, but worry not because alot of people I've met who could afford even just a mid-range car do not actually bother owning one because they live near good public transport it didn't make me fall out of love
CocoaBrown Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 I don't have a car and know for a fact this takes points away from you in the eyes of women. I live in NYC 2 blocks away from a myriad of trains and buses, having a car is more of a hassle and needless expense than a convenience . Not having a car is also awesome because people never ask you to be the lame ass "designated driver" when your friends are bruisin their livers up at the bar. If a guy lives in NYC or some other big city where having a car is more of a hassle and the smart people don't have one lol then I would be fine with it. But for me a guy not having a car is a turn off because usually when I hear the reason it's because they don't have their **** together. I'm also 33 years old and only date men my age or older so it's something I expect for you to bring to the table because I don't want to have to pick you up all the time. I'm not asking that it be an expensive car with rims, but you should be stable enough to have something with 4 wheels to get you around. OP is 20 and is helping support the household. Although it would be ideal and you would probably feel better about yourself (sucks your ex had to drive you around) you just keep on doing what you're doing and you will get a car soon enough!
PhillyDude Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I'm in my mid 30's and don't have a car and been dating with no problem since I was 20 LOL
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