sunflower11 Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Just a question for dumpers..my ex broke up with me back in september but today marks my first month of NC. ever since he broke up with me he has been ignoring my calls and tetxs and hung up on me the last time i tried to call. my question is..do dumpers realize when the dumpee has backd off? Do dumpers notice when the dumpee has stopped wwanting them back and do they wonder if the dumpee is happy and moving on hence the reason they dont call anymore?? Again just curios and wondering what might be going thru my exs head.
Philosoraptor Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 If you focus on yourself and what you want out of life it doesn't really matter what your ex is up to. You wish the best for them but focus on taking care of yourself and making your own dreams come true.
Author sunflower11 Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 Yes you are right and i have been focusing on me and doing better..i just had a dream about it and woke up with the thought bothering me..
Philosoraptor Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 We all have dreams that bother us at times. I just remind myself how much better off I am and those feelings leave pretty quick. By doing this the dreams really don't bother me anymore and instead of dwelling on them I tend to forget them minutes after waking.
lilyblue Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 For better or worse, I wonder that too. Before we started dating, my ex had broken up with another women. She still contacted him daily (with no reply from his end, and again, this was all before we started dating). He would definitely notice if she went more than a couple days... which rarely happened... but it definitely did notice. I hope he does think about me and notices that he hasn't heard from me.
mike588 Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 (edited) Just a question for dumpers..my ex broke up with me back in september but today marks my first month of NC. ever since he broke up with me he has been ignoring my calls and tetxs and hung up on me the last time i tried to call. my question is..do dumpers realize when the dumpee has backd off? Do dumpers notice when the dumpee has stopped wwanting them back and do they wonder if the dumpee is happy and moving on hence the reason they dont call anymore?? Again just curios and wondering what might be going thru my exs head. I'm sure at sometime he will be thinking about you.... If you bugged the crap out of them then of course they'll know you backed off and will probably be relieved that the dumpee has stopped. If the dumper has someone new in their life they are focusing on him/her and most likely not giving the dumpee much thought....not to say they have completely forgotten you though....there will be "triggers" that will remind him of you. He doesn't call because either he has moved on or doesn't want to talk about relationship...see/hear that your hurting or the guilt he may be feeling for dumping you. I'm not a dumper..sorry. Edited December 21, 2011 by mike588
Author sunflower11 Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 For better or worse, I wonder that too. Before we started dating, my ex had broken up with another women. She still contacted him daily (with no reply from his end, and again, this was all before we started dating). He would definitely notice if she went more than a couple days... which rarely happened... but it definitely did notice. I hope he does think about me and notices that he hasn't heard from me. I feel this way too..even tho it doesnt matter i do hope he thinks of me and wonders how im doing or what im doing since ive stopped trying to contact him..
fiat500 Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 (edited) I'm sure at sometime he will be thinking about you.... If you bugged the crap out of them then of course they'll know you backed off and will probably be relieved that the dumpee has stopped. If the dumper has someone new in their life they are focusing on him/her and most likely not giving the dumpee much thought....not to say they have completely forgotten you though....there will be "triggers" that will remind him of you. He doesn't call because either he has moved on or doesn't want to talk about relationship...see/hear that your hurting or the guilt he may be feeling for dumping you. I'm not a dumper..sorry. Sounds about right, Mike. I think for those of us who were dumped by immature people we might probably never hear from them again, but it doesn't mean they won't feel bad about it later on. We just won't get that heartfelt apology in person. Edited December 21, 2011 by fiat500
motive2002 Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I've been a dumper.. and generally it's a relief not to hear from the ex.. especially if you're involved with someone new. At it's best, hearing from the ex while you're dating someone new that you're totally into would be awkward. Do I remember the ex after the break-up? Of course I do. Does this mean I want contact or reconciliation? No. Not If I'm busy seeing someone else. Unfortunately that's just the way it goes. It's a hard truth to hear, and one that's just as hard for me to accept about the last ex that dumped me. I was devastated, all the while knowing she was having a great time with someone else. It sucks hard, but I've been on the other side of that coin, so I know.
Sugarkane Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Well I hope that the sane thing happens to these dumpers. That someone cheats on them and riposte their heart out.
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