Author petal28 Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 So... you basically dumped him/asked him not to contact you any more, and now you're surprised that he ignored you? Really? Andy_k did you read my last post above your reply? We both knew the reason why i had asked for 'no contact' and we both found it difficult to keep the 'no contact' going. I don't think the fault lies with totally with me. He tried to re-establish contact a few times during the two weeks i had asked for 'no contact'. And the thing is, he didn't ingore me and wasn't mean to me straight away after we had re-established contact. It was only after another week of that blissful phase that he turned mean.
phineas Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 No, I didnt "dump him". I actually asked for "no contact" from him for a period of time so i could become "his friend" because we BOTH realised that there was no future for us together in a relationship (different stages in our lives so it wouldnt work). I even told him that this was the reason why i asked for "no contact". Also, he initiated contact a few times during the two weeks i had asked for no contact so in the end i just gave up and said that it would be fine for us to be friends (even though we both were not ready to be friends and jsut really wanted to be in contact with each other). After two weeks and re-establishing contact, we went back into "relationship mode" and then he started becoming mean shortly after. Now please tell me whether this is a reason for someone to turn quickly and show their ugly side. I was gob-smacked by the way he treated me, almost like he had lost respect for me so quickly. Reading this makes my head hurt. I can't figure out if you are with the guy or not or with the guy again. He's being a jerk. His actions tell you this. Tell him to stop being a jerk or it's back to no-contact permanently. This whole friendship / relationship sounds toxic anyways.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 No, I didnt "dump him". I actually asked for "no contact" from him for a period of time so i could become "his friend" because we BOTH realised that there was no future for us together in a relationship (different stages in our lives so it wouldnt work). I even told him that this was the reason why i asked for "no contact". Can you explain how that is not dumping the guy? How does 'no contact' lead to being 'friends'... a person has some contact with friends. You made it sound like everything was the fault of this mean mean man. When really he is only partly to blame. I don't think that "no contact" ( = dumping) was nearly as mutual as you think.
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Now please tell me whether this is a reason for someone to turn quickly and show their ugly side. I was gob-smacked by the way he treated me, almost like he had lost respect for me so quickly. He probably got some advice from friends that acting like a jerk would make you like him more. I can picture him asking for his friends advice while you establish no contact. I can picture his friends saying he should act like a jerk to the next woman he meets and how to go about it. Then you get back together with him and he tries to act like a jerk but it just comes off as being mean.
azsinglegal Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 By "denting his ego" I'm going to guess you "disrespected him". He probably won't ever move on from it. I did this once and the guy spent the next 5 months using me to get back at me for it. There was NO WAY I could've ever recovered. That's why he's being mean to you even in joking. Which, btw, there's a lot of TRUTH in jokes. Unless you want to take more flack for this "dent to his ego", I say you end things now.
Taramere Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 What did I do to dent his ego? Well I was having a r'ship with him, which i shouldnt have been in in the first place, so i broke it off and asked for "no contact" and then a couple of weeks later i re-established contact and told him that i was "over him" and told him that we could be friends even though we both carried on as we were in a relationship after re-establishing contact. That's what i did to dent his ego. Was that bad? Why shouldn't you have been having a relationship with him? I see you've mentioned that the two of you were at different stages. Is that the only reason it wasn't right to have a relationship?
ShannonMI Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 What did I do to dent his ego? Well I was having a r'ship with him, which i shouldnt have been in in the first place, so i broke it off and asked for "no contact" and then a couple of weeks later i re-established contact and told him that i was "over him" and told him that we could be friends even though we both carried on as we were in a relationship after re-establishing contact. That's what i did to dent his ego. Was that bad? Well no wonder he's being a dick now. I would too. You dumped him and now want to remain friends. Some dumpees can't handle it. I was dumped by a guy who I dated for 8 years and he pulled the "lets me friends" crap with me. I told him no. If I had tried to be friends with him, I would have ended up like this guy is with you. Bitter and angry that we couldn't be more then friends. I would have probably lashed out at him because of it. The same as this guy. I'd just let this poor bastard go. Leave him alone.
ShannonMI Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 By "denting his ego" I'm going to guess you "disrespected him". He probably won't ever move on from it. I did this once and the guy spent the next 5 months using me to get back at me for it. There was NO WAY I could've ever recovered. That's why he's being mean to you even in joking. Which, btw, there's a lot of TRUTH in jokes. Unless you want to take more flack for this "dent to his ego", I say you end things now. No she REJECTED him. That's what she did to "dent his ego". No wonder the poor guy is being mean to her. I don't blame him honestly. It sucks to be rejected and then have the person that rejected you say they are over you and want to just be buddies. F*ck that.
azsinglegal Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 No she REJECTED him. That's what she did to "dent his ego". No wonder the poor guy is being mean to her. I don't blame him honestly. It sucks to be rejected and then have the person that rejected you say they are over you and want to just be buddies. F*ck that. Oh...I missed that. LOL
Author petal28 Posted December 23, 2011 Author Posted December 23, 2011 No she REJECTED him. That's what she did to "dent his ego". No wonder the poor guy is being mean to her. I don't blame him honestly. It sucks to be rejected and then have the person that rejected you say they are over you and want to just be buddies. F*ck that. Well no, he actually rejected me first. 1. He didn't want to be with me in the first place because "we were in different stages of our lives" (ie. a big age gap, which i realised after he had pointed out) 2. After we both realised this and discussed this a few times, we kept on seeing each other like we were in a r'ship but then i couldnt take it anymore so i asked him for "no contact" letting him know that the above mentioned reason was the reason for my "no contact" and also letting him know that it would be hurtful for me to continue on as if we were heading somewhere when in fact we both knew there was no future together. So, this is when and why this "no contact" business started. Another thing i have trouble understanding is that although we BOTH knew there was no future for us, he actually wanted to continue seeing me and speaking with me. He also tried to re-establish contact during my "no contact" time. We were basically having and enjoying an emotional (not physical) r'ship when we both knew there was no future in it for us.
TheFinalWord Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 Well no, he actually rejected me first. 1. He didn't want to be with me in the first place because "we were in different stages of our lives" (ie. a big age gap, which i realised after he had pointed out) 2. After we both realised this and discussed this a few times, we kept on seeing each other like we were in a r'ship but then i couldnt take it anymore so i asked him for "no contact" letting him know that the above mentioned reason was the reason for my "no contact" and also letting him know that it would be hurtful for me to continue on as if we were heading somewhere when in fact we both knew there was no future together. So, this is when and why this "no contact" business started. Another thing i have trouble understanding is that although we BOTH knew there was no future for us, he actually wanted to continue seeing me and speaking with me. He also tried to re-establish contact during my "no contact" time. We were basically having and enjoying an emotional (not physical) r'ship when we both knew there was no future in it for us. It sounds like both of you are frustrated. Did either of you have any other prospects at the time all of this has been going on? If you met a guy that was in the same stage of life as you, would you even care about this guy anymore? If the answer is no, you are both probably just hanging on b/c there's nothing else going on with your love lives. I know b/c I've done that before. I kept pinning after this girl, but then it hit me that if I met someone else I would lose interest in her at the drop of the hat. It can be hard to go from relationship to single when there's nothing else to fill in the gap.
Recommended Posts