How do you know if someone is just trying to sleep with you?

[lululucy]

I was assuming the reasons the OP had for not sleeping with the guy weren't religious or "waiting for marriage" kind of reasons -- I think that's an entirely different beast and it isn't for anyone to comment on that kind of belief. I wouldn't wait around for it but to each their own.

 

I agree with Oxy, if you knew after 3 dates he was looking for sex and you weren't interested in pursuing that with him, you should've cut it off then and there. For the record, when I waited three-ish weeks it wasn't because I was sleeping with anyone else but because of the "I don't know how he feels" reason on that list.

 

 

EDIT: tman !!!! oh god you just made my night. I love this song.

[Cypress25]

Depends on the reason.

 

If it's because "She's not sure how she feels about you" or "She's seeing other people", which IMO are the most common reasons, absolutely NOT. I'm not going to wait 4 months, then come back empty handed, only for some dirtbag she "feels" good about to sleep with her in a week. If it's because she doesn't believe in sex before marriage it'll be painful, but if I liked her enough I could wait

 

What if it's Reason #2 (She's not sure how you feel about her)? This is actually the most common reason. Just look at the OP. She, like many women, is uncertain about the guy's feelings for her. She doesn't know what his intentions are. Some guys are very skilled at lying and manipulating people, so girls have to be careful.

 

In this case, waiting for sex is risk aversion. It's all too common for a man to use a woman for sex, and then dump her as soon as he gets it. That is a deeply painful experience, and anyone who has ever been through it would want to make damn sure it doesn't happen again. If you've been hurt in the past, you'll probably be more cautious in the future.

 

Most women who wait do so because they need to be reassured that the guy isn't just in it for sex. She needs to know that he genuinely likes her and cares about her, and that he's in it for the long-term. Waiting is a protective mechanism for these women. They're totally faithful and monogamous, but they wait for sex because they don't want to get hurt. That's understandable, isn't it?

[Wolf18]

What if it's Reason #2 (She's not sure how you feel about her)? This is actually the most common reason. Just look at the OP. She, like many women, is uncertain about the guy's feelings for her. She doesn't know what his intentions are. Some guys are very skilled at lying and manipulating people, so girls have to be careful.

 

In this case, waiting for sex is risk aversion. It's all too common for a man to use a woman for sex, and then dump her as soon as he gets it. That is a deeply painful experience, and anyone who has ever been through it would want to make damn sure it doesn't happen again. If you've been hurt in the past, you'll probably be more cautious in the future.

 

Most women who wait do so because they need to be reassured that the guy isn't just in it for sex. She needs to know that he genuinely likes her and cares about her, and that he's in it for the long-term. Waiting is a protective mechanism for these women. They're totally faithful and monogamous, but they wait for sex because they don't want to get hurt. That's understandable, isn't it?

 

I usually make it pretty obvious how I feel about a girl. I also always make sure to inform a girl exactly what I'm interested in, not necessarily because I'm some saintly guy, but because when you pump-fake a woman into putting out it always turns into a massive headache (I've always paid dearly when I've done it, with them starting phoney rape rumors, telling their dad/brothers that I "used them", etc ).

 

While I don't doubt some women make you wait as a defense mechanism, if they really like you not many can hold back their sexual feelings.

 

Safe to say that around the 4th/5th date, if a guy is still texting you all the time and wanting to see you, it's a safe bet he's interested in dating you. When a girl makes me wait 4 months without a very good reason, I just automatically assume she's not into me or is having buyers remorse.

[Cypress25]

I usually make it pretty obvious how I feel about a girl. I also always make sure to inform a girl exactly what I'm interested in

 

Not all guys are as honest as you, lol. And even you admit that you've manipulated women in the past, so you can't really blame them for having trust issues.

 

While I don't doubt some women make you wait as a defense mechanism, if they really like you not many can hold back their sexual feelings.

 

It's called self-control. It's not always easy but it can be done. I really like chocolate, but I can't let myself eat it whenever I want. Some people are very good at resisting temptation.

 

Safe to say that around the 4th/5th date, if a guy is still texting you all the time and wanting to see you, it's a safe bet he's interested in dating you.

 

Oh please, you think a guy can't put on an act for 5 dates? The most successful players are the most charming, most convincing, most devoted guys in the world...or so it seems. They can easily pretend to be sweet and caring for 5 dates. You need more time than that to know if a guy is really sincere about his feelings.

 

When a girl makes me wait 4 months without a very good reason, I just automatically assume she's not into me or is having buyers remorse.

 

This is where communication comes in handy. I'm always honest and upfront about my feelings regarding sex and my reasons for waiting. I never leave a guy wondering. And I do engage in other sexual acts in the meantime, so he'd have no reason to think I'm not into him. Instead of making assumptions, maybe you should just ask the girl. For all you know, she has a 6-month rule and it applies to every guy.

[Wolf18]

This is where communication comes in handy. I'm always honest and upfront about my feelings regarding sex and my reasons for waiting. I never leave a guy wondering. And I do engage in other sexual acts in the meantime, so he'd have no reason to think I'm not into him. Instead of making assumptions, maybe you should just ask the girl. For all you know, she has a 6-month rule and it applies to every guy[/Quote]

 

 

Ahhh now that's a different story.

 

I don't know if the person I was addressing at first was doing that. My issue is with women you date for months and don't even let you put a finger in them.

[Cypress25]

Dammit, Wolf18, pay attention. Specifically, to the post where I said:

 

"Not having sex" is not the same as "not doing anything."

 

You can do plenty of intimate stuff without actually having sex. How do you think I became Supreme Master of hand jobs?

[phineas]

I agree with you. Many women wait quite a while before sex. And they are remaining faithful to the guy they are with.

 

However, a woman should talk to a guy about what she wants from the beginning. It is ridiculous for her to assume a guy knows how she wants the relationship to progress.

 

I've had women who told me from the start, "I want to wait a while before sex. Perhaps even a months. I am looking for a guy long-term. I don't want sex and that's it." She's done the right thing by communicating her preferences with me. If her intention is to wait for sex, she shouldn't have any problem being honest from the start.

 

The problem with this is if she's still shopping around then what the hell is the point in waiting?

and any woman NOT having sex with a man can rationalize it isn't "serious" after finding some new shiny object after old shiny object has been waiting around for months.

 

Like I said, i've never had a woman hold on sex more than a month that didn't turn out to be sleeping with someone else.

 

And then there is the possible problem of waiting months & months only to find out she just lays there & makes you do all the work, no oral, bedroom only. lights off.

Edited December 22, 2011 by phineas

[Elysian Powder]

Dammit, Wolf18, pay attention. Specifically, to the post where I said:

 

 

 

You can do plenty of intimate stuff without actually having sex. How do you think I became Supreme Master of hand jobs?

 

Most men can hand-job themselves better than you, and you don't suck dick. No anal, I bet. 4 months of handjobs and then, boring sex. Guys, many, many women put out easily and fck like porn stars. Never wait for sex.

[Wolf18]

Dammit, Wolf18, pay attention. Specifically, to the post where I said:

 

You can do plenty of intimate stuff without actually having sex. How do you think I became Supreme Master of hand jobs?

 

 

Ahhh, alright , then I don't see an issue, though making me wait to sleep with you won't make me like you any more on its own merit (don't know why women think this).

 

I don't really see the point in waiting to have actual intercourse if your doing everything but.

[Cypress25]

The problem with this is if she's still shopping around then what the hell is the point in waiting?

 

No, we're talking about women who are not shopping around. They're faithful to their guy, they're just not ready for sex yet. I know it's hard to believe, but some people are capable of going without sex for several months at a time.

 

Most men can hand-job themselves better than you, and you don't suck dick. No anal, I bet. 4 months of handjobs and then, boring sex.

 

I wasn't the one who said 4 months. My first relationship lasted 2.5 years, we never had sex. My second relationship lasted 8 months, we never had sex. (I'm a Scorpio, we don't trust easily, lol.) Obviously, there must have been something those guys liked about me, otherwise they wouldn't have waited so long. And I don't think they stayed just for the hand jobs either. What do you know, I found guys who actually liked me as a person. It's a great way to weed out the jerks who are only interested in sex.

 

And why do you assume sex will be boring if the girl wants to wait first? Is that what you tell yourself just because you don't feel like waiting around long enough to find out?

 

Guys, many, many women put out easily and fck like porn stars. Never wait for sex.

 

That's fine for guys who only want sex. For guys who want more than that, they'll have to look beyond the porn stars. Guys who aren't willing to wait end up missing out on great girls (and eventually, great sex) just because they needed instant gratification. Kinda like settling for fast food just because you didn't have the patience to wait for the gourmet meal to be served.

 

I don't really see the point in waiting to have actual intercourse if your doing everything but.

 

Many women get more attached after sex. I know I do. I can't let myself be that vulnerable with a guy unless I really know him and trust him and feel safe with him. And then there are the practical concerns, like pregnancy and STDs. I'm all about protection, but I was still a little nervous the first few times I had sex, like "omg what if the pill and the condom both fail at the same time?!" Of course they didn't, but women tend to worry more in general.

[Wolf18]

A 2.5 year relationship without having sex?

 

Many women get more attached after sex. I know I do. I can't let myself be that vulnerable with a guy unless I really know him and trust him and feel safe with him. And then there are the practical concerns, like pregnancy and STDs. I'm all about protection, but I was still a little nervous the first few times I had sex, like "omg what if the pill and the condom both fail at the same time?!" Of course they didn't, but women tend to worry more in general.[/Quote]

 

How long did you make the first person wait?

[dasein]

No, we're talking about women who are not shopping around. They're faithful to their guy, they're just not ready for sex yet. I know it's hard to believe, but some people are capable of going without sex for several months at a time.

 

The problem lies in every man experiencing having a woman act one way with him while she is sleeping with the entire basketball team. A buddy of mine's best HS story is of the GF he was dating whom he dated for like 6 months and finally she had sex with him. Then he found out that lots of his friends were also sleeping with her while she was professing "truelove" to him. He was looking for whose ass to kick out in a bar one night, and asked every guy around the table which dude had slept with her.

 

They all raised their hands, so he had no ass to kick. Every man has been there.

[luvkitties]

"Not having sex" is not the same as "not doing anything." Besides, they only saw each other every 2 weeks. Of course progress will be slow if the dates are so infrequent. He didn't have to wonder why she was holding out on him; she made it clear that she doesn't have sex outside of a relationship. He's the one who didn't want a relationship.

 

And 4 months is not extreme. People are so impatient these days.

 

Thank you, Cypress for being the level-headed voice of this post. I am neither a "cocktease" nor a "prude"; I was not remotely interested in banging another guy--that's not how I roll. My values regarding sex may be considered antiquated, but I would rather wait to be exclusive before intimacy instead of screwing every dude who takes an interest. FYI, other than this instance, the longest I've waited is 6 weeks. The difference was that in every other instance, the r'ship was exclusive and I felt safe and comfortable enough to share that part of myself. If sex is happening and exclusivity isn't present, how does one create boundaries? In other words, the lines become very blurred and it is difficult to discern infidelity because technically, the person isn't "cheating" yet they're busy banging at least one other person. It would be an entirely different ball game if i was looking for NSA sex, but that's not for me. This scenario is what I was trying to avoid. I want to be exclusive before intimacy so that it is very clear if the line has been crossed. I refuse to be played for a fool, which appears to be quite common in the dating game.

[Emilia]

Thank you, Cypress for being the level-headed voice of this post. I am neither a "cocktease" nor a "prude"; I was not remotely interested in banging another guy--that's not how I roll. My values regarding sex may be considered antiquated, but I would rather wait to be exclusive before intimacy instead of screwing every dude who takes an interest. FYI, other than this instance, the longest I've waited is 6 weeks. The difference was that in every other instance, the r'ship was exclusive and I felt safe and comfortable enough to share that part of myself. If sex is happening and exclusivity isn't present, how does one create boundaries? In other words, the lines become very blurred and it is difficult to discern infidelity because technically, the person isn't "cheating" yet they're busy banging at least one other person. It would be an entirely different ball game if i was looking for NSA sex, but that's not for me. This scenario is what I was trying to avoid. I want to be exclusive before intimacy so that it is very clear if the line has been crossed. I refuse to be played for a fool, which appears to be quite common in the dating game.

 

No of course you are not a cocktease, that was a moronic thing to say. You were very clear with him that you wanted exclusivity because you weren't prepared to be just another chick he was banging. A lot of men wouldn't go along with something like that either.

 

The only mistake you made was your having the expectation that he would change his mind. You should have walked after a month - but that's been already said

 

By the way, I don't think he is a bad person, he was very honest with you and he didn't promise exclusivity only to go behind your back. Another one to chalk up to experience

[Untouchable_Fire]

So how do you guys know if a guy is just trying to sleep with you?

 

Simple... make him wait a few months.

 

The extra time will make him get to know you... and develop an emotional attachment.

 

This isn't rocket science. Just look around you... most men respect women who value themselves and don't respect the women who are easy. There are some guys who expect sex right away, but half of them will hold it against you. The other half won't, but many of them are a waste of space in other ways.

 

Point is... just enjoy this phase and let things flow naturally. Make sure to push back physical stuff so that the emotional bonds can really strengthen.

[Oxy Moronovich]

The problem with this is if she's still shopping around then what the hell is the point in waiting?

and any woman NOT having sex with a man can rationalize it isn't "serious" after finding some new shiny object after old shiny object has been waiting around for months.

 

Like I said, i've never had a woman hold on sex more than a month that didn't turn out to be sleeping with someone else.

 

And then there is the possible problem of waiting months & months only to find out she just lays there & makes you do all the work, no oral, bedroom only. lights off.

I think the majority of the time when women say they want to hold off for sex, they are husband hunting. They want to be sure of the guy before opening her legs. That's what I've got from women I've met.

 

Nevertheless, I still agree with you. It's rational to believe a woman who is holding out on you is secretly sleeping with some other dude. And I definitely agree with the last paragraph. It's happened to me twice where I waited around a month for a chick to come around only to have coma-inducing sex. I really don't care for those unimaginative, boring prudes who waste your time.

[phineas]

I think the majority of the time when women say they want to hold off for sex, they are husband hunting. They want to be sure of the guy before opening her legs. That's what I've got from women I've met.

 

Nevertheless, I still agree with you. It's rational to believe a woman who is holding out on you is secretly sleeping with some other dude. And I definitely agree with the last paragraph. It's happened to me twice where I waited around a month for a chick to come around only to have coma-inducing sex. I really don't care for those unimaginative, boring prudes who waste your time.

 

I'm 40 yrs old & divorced with a 3&5yr old.

I'm done with marriage & kids.

 

I'm either friends with a woman or dating her. PERIOD.

If they are the type that needs time to get to know someone i tell them up front sex = exclusive & i'm no cuddle bitch.

 

Then I leave it up to them.

 

I am shocked by how many women my age are totally up for casual sex.

I'm not going to turn that down for someone who wants to take it slow.

 

Why would I when there are plenty of women out there that subscribe to the "bang now & figure the rest out later" method of dating.

 

Especially since as I said, my experience has been they were already sleeping with someone else or they just bailed on me after 2 to 3 months of no sex and barely kissing.

 

But, I got to cuddle & listen to their problems! Go me!! LOL!

 

Waste of my time.

[Oxy Moronovich]

I'm 40 yrs old & divorced with a 3&5yr old.

I'm done with marriage & kids.

 

I'm either friends with a woman or dating her. PERIOD.

If they are the type that needs time to get to know someone i tell them up front sex = exclusive & i'm no cuddle bitch.

 

Then I leave it up to them.

 

I am shocked by how many women my age are totally up for casual sex.

I'm not going to turn that down for someone who wants to take it slow.

 

Why would I when there are plenty of women out there that subscribe to the "bang now & figure the rest out later" method of dating.

 

Especially since as I said, my experience has been they were already sleeping with someone else or they just bailed on me after 2 to 3 months of no sex and barely kissing.

 

But, I got to cuddle & listen to their problems! Go me!! LOL!

 

Waste of my time.

Your post hit the nail on the head. The part I bolded is the mentality of many guys out there. Why should we waste time with some prude when many other women are up for casual sex? Waiting around doesn't make the relationship better than if you got into sex quickly. Why do women act like waiting so long is a good thing?

 

Plus, I just remembered some chick I knew who withheld sex from me but was sleeping around with other guys. Those were the good ole days when I believed being a "gentleman" even to sluts were rewarding. I showed direct interest in her from the get-go. She preferred to play the cocktease. She would flirt with me then blatantly flirt with other guys.

 

I remember one time we were at a house party and she started flirting with me and asked me to dance. But first she wanted a drink. When I came with her drink, she was sitting on some other dude's lap and sipping from his cocktail. Later, I saw her getting out of his car and start putting on her pants. My ego said, "Ouch!" and I decided not to waste anymore time on her.

 

Less than two months later, I met her again, and now she tried to act like the good girl and show interested. I was over her. I ignored her and acted coldly toward her. I spurned her advances. She asked if we could trade numbers and I said no. She was pissed as hell. She cried to her friend (who is also my sister-in-law) and her friend was cold toward me for months.

 

But that's the way these chicks act though. It's like you said: you wait around while the bang every other guy on the block. They only seem to show interest when you're over them. Now they wanna act like you're a horrible person for rejecting them.

[phineas]

Your post hit the nail on the head. The part I bolded is the mentality of many guys out there. Why should we waste time with some prude when many other women are up for casual sex? Waiting around doesn't make the relationship better than if you got into sex quickly. Why do women act like waiting so long is a good thing?

 

Plus, I just remembered some chick I knew who withheld sex from me but was sleeping around with other guys. Those were the good ole days when I believed being a "gentleman" even to sluts were rewarding. I showed direct interest in her from the get-go. She preferred to play the cocktease. She would flirt with me then blatantly flirt with other guys.

 

I remember one time we were at a house party and she started flirting with me and asked me to dance. But first she wanted a drink. When I came with her drink, she was sitting on some other dude's lap and sipping from his cocktail. Later, I saw her getting out of his car and start putting on her pants. My ego said, "Ouch!" and I decided not to waste anymore time on her.

 

Less than two months later, I met her again, and now she tried to act like the good girl and show interested. I was over her. I ignored her and acted coldly toward her. I spurned her advances. She asked if we could trade numbers and I said no. She was pissed as hell. She cried to her friend (who is also my sister-in-law) and her friend was cold toward me for months.

 

But that's the way these chicks act though. It's like you said: you wait around while the bang every other guy on the block. They only seem to show interest when you're over them. Now they wanna act like you're a horrible person for rejecting them.

 

yep!

And what women don't understand or don't want to understand is, this is just as bad as a man using a woman for sex.

 

I'd rather do my own thing then have to pay attention to a woman who isn't taking care of my needs while I take care of hers.

 

That's like re-living the last yr of my marriage. LOL!

[loversquarrel]

I've only slept with two guys in my life. One was with my first boyfriend (now ex) and we were together for 2 years. The other is a guy i had a "thing" with for about a year almost. I was surprised I did it with the second guy since I'm not typically one to sleep with someone who isn't my boyfriend but it felt right at the time. I'm really not one to sleep around. My views on sex have changed since i lost my virginity and I'm more open about it but I'm not gonna go sleep with whoever.

 

Anyway, it didnt work out with the second guy and its been 6 months. I recently met a guy at a bar (i know, not exactly the best place to meet a "guy" so im even more cautious about it). The guy and i danced and he ended up asking for my number in the end and ended up asking me for a kiss to which i said yes. We have been texting each other everyday since we met and mostly initiated by him. So thats a little over a month now of texting everyday. Because of work schedule, we're both not really able to talk on the phone and i'm more of a texter anyway so it works out. We live about an hour away from each other and have gone on two dates.

 

First date: he drove to where i live and we went to movie and dinner, held hands and made out. towards the end of the night, we fooled around a little bit but that was it.

 

Second date: i drove to where he live and we went to another movie and dinner and i stayed over at his place. we fooled around again and got close to having sex but we didnt.

 

The topic of sex does get brought up in our conversation every once in a while, mostly joking about it. But not everyday. I'm very scared though. I've always had my walls up (i need to) but the fact that i met him at a bar doesnt exactly make it the best scenario either. I'm starting to really like this guy, but a part of me is questioning his intentions because i still dont really know him. I keep thinking what if he's just using me?

 

So how do you guys know if a guy is just trying to sleep with you?

Why worry over it? You don't have to sleep with him until you are comfortable with the situation. If you don't really know what to do or think, you aren't ready.

[Cypress25]

A 2.5 year relationship without having sex?

 

I was young, it was my first serious relationship, and I was terrified of becoming one of those naive girls who gets f*cked and dumped. I was in college, so I heard those sob stories all the time. But I think it's OK because when I'm in a relationship, I treat the guy very well, better than most girls treat their boyfriends. I'm very low-maintenance; I don't expect the guy to pay for me on dates or hold the door for me or help me carry heavy things, I don't interfere with his "guy time," I don't make him go shopping with me or watch chick flicks with me, I don't care if he watches porn or goes to strip clubs, I don't expect gifts on special occasions, I don't demand that he make more time for me, etc. I don't ask for anything, really. But I'm willing to give a lot to a relationship.

 

And then there are the girls who put out right away but treat their boyfriends like crap. They're demanding and manipulative, and they get mad at the guy for every little thing. And the guy puts up with it because at least he's getting laid. I don't think those guys are very happy though.

 

How long did you make the first person wait?

 

Not long enough. By then I was older and had a lot more experience with dating and physical intimacy, so I felt ready at the time, but we'd only been together for 2 months and that was really fast for me. I don't entirely regret it, but part of me wishes I'd waited longer.

 

And let's just get one thing straight: I don't MAKE anyone do anything. If the guy doesn't want to wait, he knows where the door is. He has free will.

 

I am shocked by how many women my age are totally up for casual sex.

I'm not going to turn that down for someone who wants to take it slow.

 

Why would I when there are plenty of women out there that subscribe to the "bang now & figure the rest out later" method of dating.

 

And this is why I take it slow: to weed out guys like you. A guy with your attitude is not someone I'd want to be dating.

 

Why should we waste time with some prude when many other women are up for casual sex? Waiting around doesn't make the relationship better than if you got into sex quickly. Why do women act like waiting so long is a good thing?

 

Women act like waiting so long is a good thing because it protects them from guys like you. That's the whole point. It's always better to find out that the guy is a jerk BEFORE she has sex with him. Finding out AFTER she has sex with him is devastating. I don't want a guy who's just looking for an easy lay. Those guys can stay the hell away from me. Why would I want to be with a guy who thinks I'm a waste of time?

Edited December 22, 2011 by Cypress25

[luvkitties]

Man, this chick is a cocktease. He was with you for 4 months, ten dates out of that, plus he probably kept in contact with you, yet you think he was all about sex. This is the exact reason why I never even bother with Wisconsin chicks. They are boring and prudish as hell.

 

Oxy, are you really this immature? It doesn't surprise me that women would either not want to have sex with you or stop once they pick up on the fact that you have the emotional maturity of a 13 year old.

[YaOldBuckaroo]

I've only slept with two guys in my life. One was with my first boyfriend (now ex) and we were together for 2 years. The other is a guy i had a "thing" with for about a year almost. I was surprised I did it with the second guy since I'm not typically one to sleep with someone who isn't my boyfriend but it felt right at the time. I'm really not one to sleep around. My views on sex have changed since i lost my virginity and I'm more open about it but I'm not gonna go sleep with whoever.

 

Anyway, it didnt work out with the second guy and its been 6 months. I recently met a guy at a bar (i know, not exactly the best place to meet a "guy" so im even more cautious about it). The guy and i danced and he ended up asking for my number in the end and ended up asking me for a kiss to which i said yes. We have been texting each other everyday since we met and mostly initiated by him. So thats a little over a month now of texting everyday. Because of work schedule, we're both not really able to talk on the phone and i'm more of a texter anyway so it works out. We live about an hour away from each other and have gone on two dates.

 

First date: he drove to where i live and we went to movie and dinner, held hands and made out. towards the end of the night, we fooled around a little bit but that was it.

 

Second date: i drove to where he live and we went to another movie and dinner and i stayed over at his place. we fooled around again and got close to having sex but we didnt.

 

The topic of sex does get brought up in our conversation every once in a while, mostly joking about it. But not everyday. I'm very scared though. I've always had my walls up (i need to) but the fact that i met him at a bar doesnt exactly make it the best scenario either. I'm starting to really like this guy, but a part of me is questioning his intentions because i still dont really know him. I keep thinking what if he's just using me?

 

So how do you guys know if a guy is just trying to sleep with you?

 

Really hard to determine if the guy's just trying to sleep with you. It's one of those things that you have to find out for yourself.

[Taramere]

So how do you guys know if a guy is just trying to sleep with you?

 

I think with men who want a bit more than just sex, you'll get a sense that they genuinely admire you as well as just wanting to be admired by you. Look for small signs of nervousness. I think slight blushing or stuttering can be a positive sign in showing more genuine signs of "liking".

 

Somebody who's spending a lot of time showing off and talking about himself, and giving you a gut feeling that you're getting an "act" that he's performed many times (complete with well rehearsed sounding jokes and anecdotes), rather than feeling as though you're in the company of a genuine person, then there's a good chance he's just out for sex.

 

If you read posts from men who sneer about "prudish" women who refuse to just leap into bed with them, and think "wow, that sounds like a really genuine person who I would thoroughly enrich my life by knowing" then perhaps it's time to reassess your policy of waiting for a bit before having sex. Otherwise, I would say that the responses you've had on this thread emphasise the wisdom in waiting, exercising some caution and being discerning about who you get intimate with.

[bac]

So how do you guys know if a guy is just trying to sleep with you?

 

It is very easy. Tell him that you like him, but you are not ready yet because you do not know him well.

If he looks for ONS or smth like that, he will vanish into thin air during first 2-5 dates. If he wants a R, he will wait for 5 dates and even longer. Do not tell him the exact time of waiting (5 dates). If he knows the exact dates, he might wait to get what he wants and then he might drop you.