Relationship Karma?

[PoppyLove89]

Whilst I have only ever had two serious relationships in my life (my first having lasted 3 and a half years and the second just over a year) it's safe to say that I have never ever had an amicable split to the point where you can still stay around in each other's lives.

 

My first break-up, I ended it, my ex-ex was four years older than me and completely obsessed with me. I began to emotionally distance myself from him after about 2 and a half years, he cheated on me four months into the relationship. I had started to fall out of 'love' with him (if it ever even was) and so didn't feel it right to string him along. We stayed in contact for a couple months but eventually I had to cut all ties because he would take anything I said as a glimmer of hope towards a reconciliation. Also, I felt it would benefit him to not have me in his life at all, to help him move on. He was very emotionally unstable and got into some bad habits...smoking weed etc, I am ridiculously anti-drugs and so this was just another factor me to cut all ties. I was his emotional crutch until the weed took over.

 

My second break up happened just over a month ago (will be two months, come the 29th December). Now this break-up wasn't premeditated, though things had been a bit rocky for the last couple weeks we were together (just silly little tiffs due to miscommunication, and his career in the army meaning we only had text/call communication during the week, nothing major. Up until this point we hadn't argued for at least 5 months). We were very serious, deeply in love. He brought up marriage first and how he planned to propose after his tour of Afghan. Three days before the split he was all excited about moving in together in the Spring.

 

Anyway, the last weekend, things got blown out of proportion, I got upset in work due to him blowing our only night together off before he went back to camp, the next day, I went round to his and we had a major row. I insinuated that I was done with being made out to be some sort of chore and that he could do whatever he liked, he shouldn't feel obliged to see me! Eventually, he lost his cool completely and ended it before he thought I would. Then as I left his, he said "I love you" before I closed the door. I text him saying, "Im sorry for how I've been and I'm sorry I've pushed you this far. Please don't regret us and if you find you end up missing me, let me know. Think about our happy times. I love you." He text back saying, "All I've done since you left is think about us. I have no idea if I've made the right decision. I feel I may live to regret this but all we did was argue for weeks." - anyway, he kept me on a string of "I don't know" for two weeks until I had enough of him saying one thing and doing another so I deleted him off FB. He then text me saying "I never meant to hurt you. Im sorry we didn't work out"

 

We hadn't spoken for a month since then until I bumped into him on a night out last Saturday. I could tell his stomach dropped just as mine did. First we hugged and talked normally on our own then I hugged him and walked away. Then he talked to me again but as soon as his friends came over, he laughed in my face, shrugged and walked off playing the hard man, I guess. The rest of the night, I was so humiliated that I made it my mission to make him think I was having the time of my life! He constantly stayed where could see me, even made it a point of walking through our group to get to the bathroom even though he could easily have walked around us. He spent the night looking over; I could see the pain/anger/hurt in his eyes, looking away whenever I caught him looking. He didn't even try and look happy to prove a point. He left on his own, without his friends.

 

My ex has changed a lot since the split, he's become arrogant and cocky. Avoiding his family and just generally being quite angry. I'm putting it down to him spending all his time at home with his immature friends (they're 3 years younger and live a vicarious life that he doesn't have due to the army). My guess is he's really lost himself somehow. Trying to convince himself he's made the right decision, that he's happy. I hope he is.

 

Anyway, so since that awkward meet up, he has deleted everything I posted on his FB wall since August, everything before then is still there. Almost as though he wants people to think we ended months ago? I'm quite hurt since the stuff from his ex was still all there when I got with him despite the fact that she cheated the first time around that they were together, then she came crawling back after 2 years and he took her back for 6 months before dumping her and cutting all ties. Despite the way he's treated me, I don't regret us and I still respect him, even though I shouldn't. Maybe it's a case of 'out of sight, out of mind' or maybe he's just desperate to forget everything. Anyway, he's managed to cut me out completely. It stings like hell!

 

I guess karma's a b*tch and I had this coming for my first relationship?

[ken_25]

I don't really believe karma exists... life can just be a real bitch.