xpaperxcutx Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 (edited) I know this is a silly question but I'm certainly not looking for a cavemen answer ( "we want to tap a.ss!!!yeah!!) Im really certain tyat aside from trying to bed every hot girl that comes their way, men are really decent human beings capable of being loved and giving love in return. This is not a gender thread but I just want to know, what are mens purpose in wanting to date women? Companionship? Edited December 21, 2011 by xpaperxcutx Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Well I am attracted to women so I choose to date women instead of men. I have dated women to find the person that I can share all of myself with. Someone I can be there for and trust to be there for me. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I really have no clue. Originally, I did because I wanted a family and dating women seemed like a natural way to achieve that goal. To be completely honest, I have far more fulfilling relationships with men at my age than I ever have with women. That probably says a lot about the quality of the women I've met in my lifetime. Don't get me wrong... I have a lot of respect and admiration and some love for the wives of my friends but they are anomalies in my experience, not the norm. Perhaps that's why, save for a couple months of dating since splitting up with my exW, I have no interest in such socializing. Other men will hopefully provide more positive and fulfilling answers. I don't need a companion. I have myself. Heck, thinking back, I probably saw my friends as much as my wife, given her work and social schedules. Most of our time spent together was comatose, meaning sleeping. Yeah, there was someone to 'go out' with. Big deal. There was also countless hours, days, weeks and years of servicing her family. I don't miss that at all. Not a heck of a lot different than any 'companion' in the past. OP, why do you date men? Not a loaded question..... Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Well at it's most basic there is the cave man answer as you called it. The old biological imperatives. The truth is though, tapping A$$ is cheap, even if you buy it. When a man dates a woman, unless he's a player, he just really wants to spend more time with her. Men like women think romantic and foolish thoughts about the person they desire. They want to have a chance to live out at least some of those fantasies. Most of all men date a woman looking for someone to understand them and accept them as they are. Not just some guy there to be a fashion accessory, or a "breadwinner", and such. Someone who means it as much when it's "for poorer" and "in sickness". The men who date women like me, transgender women, cite being better understood by us as their #1 reason. What men look to weed out: Women who are touched in the head. Crazy or just full of themselves to a clinical degree. That is sometimes called being "high maintenance". Golddiggers are who men try to weed out. They are a subset of the last group. They feel they are worth giving $$$$$$ to just because of who they are. Husband hunters. Women who are just looking to get a husband and don't really care who. They want a man for reasons of social status. Almost like a gold digger. Generally insincere women are who really loose men once they get them. Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 You might as well also make a thread titled, "why do women date?" You will get the same answers. Gender does not play a role when it comes to discussing the purpose of dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Soxfaninfl Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I'm dating again after my divorce to find my soul mate. I thought that was my ex-wife, but she left me. I want to feel loved by a woman, and I want to be in love again. I want that feeling again that I once had with my ex- wife of being in love. I want companionship. I want someone to share the good times and bad times. I also want to find someone to have more children with. Someone to grow old with and that will always be there for me as I will there for her. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I want somebody I can do things I enjoy with. Somebody I can talk to, go places with etc. Companionship is a big part of it. I also want sex. And sex is what makes the difference between a friend and somebody I'm in a relationship with. Link to post Share on other sites
patagonia Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Obviously not every person we date, we are going to marry...at least I hope not! Dating for me is a school of life in a big sense. Meaning that it teaches us so much about who we are and what we like/don't like. But I am interested in dating or do date strictly to look for my future mate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 You might as well also make a thread titled, "why do women date?" You will get the same answers. Gender does not play a role when it comes to discussing the purpose of dating. Good point. Bu I also like to point out men do!!es most of the pursuing hence that factor should play into why they date. What spurs them on besides physical attraction? Link to post Share on other sites
SteveC80 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Mostly sex some companionship There are some cool interesting women out there but imo they are far and few between, the average Man imo is much more interesting in conversation and interests then your average women so in my experience men make better company but cant provide that warm moist sexual organ that women have Link to post Share on other sites
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 Obviously not every person we date, we are going to marry...at least I hope not! Dating for me is a school of life in a big sense. Meaning that it teaches us so much about who we are and what we like/don't like. But I am interested in dating or do date strictly to look for my future mate. I think this makes perfect sense and can equally apply to both genders. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 It might help if we answer the question of why we (humans) are here to begin with... "To reproduce and to try to reproduce" and to not die alone... Link to post Share on other sites
Pizzaman81 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 (edited) Looking for my other half. I want a woman to share my life with and go through adventures with. Mostly I date to look for true love... And I will go through many women to find that. But I will find you (not you xpaperxcutx, well maybe you) and once we both click, I ain't letting go. I will spoil her crazy until she screams uncle. Until then, nothing wrong with wild fun and meeting new people True story Edited December 21, 2011 by Pizzaman81 Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Probably because a man feels like a man when he has a woman around who validates him. When they are out in public, he can put his arm around her to show everyone that he's man enough to get a woman. And she'll let him if she likes him. If he doesn't have a woman, then he doubts himself and sees doubt in the eyes of everyone who sees him alone. And because there's a sort of deal that has always been made between men and women. The woman offers sex (i.e. gratification and conquest) and children (i.e. immortality) and to continue giving him the love he used to get, or never got, from mom if he'll do things for her (i.e. he doesn't have to grow up completely). It's always been a good deal, because women were never able to really provide for themselves. In modern times the deal is starting to change. A woman may still not be able to do certain things directly for herself, but those services can be bought, and so a man is less a necessity and more a luxury. Men who aren't interested in improving themselves resent this, because who really wants to be superfluous. Idealistically, you're supposed to be loved for who you are. But who men were taught to be by their mothers is in many cases not what modern women really want. The "bitter guy" confusion on the board is the protests of guys who don't know what to do, and their fear of going through life being unloved makes them hate. They don't know what to change, and don't really think they should have to. And when they do try to change they often miss the mark. They aren't totally free of their mothers. A bitter guy feels women are not holding up their end of a bargain he actually made with his mom. Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Good point. Bu I also like to point out men do!!es most of the pursuing hence that factor should play into why they date. What spurs them on besides physical attraction? The desire for something meaningful, for true love. The craving for an emotional connection. It might sound corny to some people, but it happened to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Pizzaman81 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Probably because a man feels like a man when he has a woman around who validates him. When they are out in public, he can put his arm around her to show everyone that he's man enough to get a woman. And she'll let him if she likes him. If he doesn't have a woman, then he doubts himself and sees doubt in the eyes of everyone who sees him alone. And because there's a sort of deal that has always been made between men and women. The woman offers sex (i.e. gratification and conquest) and children (i.e. immortality) and to continue giving him the love he used to get, or never got, from mom if he'll do things for her (i.e. he doesn't have to grow up completely). It's always been a good deal, because women were never able to really provide for themselves. In modern times the deal is starting to change. A woman may still not be able to do certain things directly for herself, but those services can be bought, and so a man is less a necessity and more a luxury. Men who aren't interested in improving themselves resent this, because who really wants to be superfluous. Idealistically, you're supposed to be loved for who you are. But who men were taught to be by their mothers is in many cases not what modern women really want. The "bitter guy" confusion on the board is the protests of guys who don't know what to do, and their fear of going through life being unloved makes them hate. They don't know what to change, and don't really think they should have to. And when they do try to change they often miss the mark. They aren't totally free of their mothers. A bitter guy feels women are not holding up their end of a bargain he actually made with his mom. You're thinking too much into it Johanny Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 (edited) I know this is a silly question but I'm certainly not looking for a cavemen answer ( "we want to tap a.ss!!!yeah!!) Im really certain tyat aside from trying to bed every hot girl that comes their way, men are really decent human beings capable of being loved and giving love in return. This is not a gender thread but I just want to know, what are mens purpose in wanting to date women? Companionship? Good question. Let's see... Sex is not that important to me. I can give myself better pleasure than any woman ever could. I'd bet my right hand on it. To be honest and this will sound bad, part of the reason I date is to prove that I can do it. I believe I've been given not a lot to work with and I've been rejected so many times, so improving myself and my game to make myself attractive to women is something of a mountain-like life goal I tackle periodically. Probably that's why I sound so pissed a lot of the time on here. Nothing motivates me like failure and rejection. But in the end, I'm in it to find a really good companion for myself. Someone who I think is cute (flexible on that), and more importantly, somebody that I click with and share multiple interests with AND most importantly, shows me the respect I show her. I believe dating is a process to get you closer to that person. Edited December 21, 2011 by jobaba Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 (edited) Ive never been on one i wouldnt know.. My reason to want to probably partly for a ego boost/confidence..While i like too hang out and party and be around people on weekends im not sure if i can handle one person around me all the time so im not even sure id be great in a relationship.. It just would be nice to know theyres women out there who actually see me as attractive and desirable..which hasnt happeend yet in my 31 years on earth Edited December 21, 2011 by AD1980 Link to post Share on other sites
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