Kyle787 Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 I was doing some ex-credit research in conjunction with an old Psychology professor from last year studying how social disapproval of marginalized relationships can effect the commitment put in by each individual. This research had to do with interracial/same-sex couples. I wanted to take it a bit further and study those effects on more mainstream relationships by using the example of a few couples I have known in the past. (between a male and female of the same race, age, etc.) For whatever reason, in all three cases the girls' parents all hated the guy and so did the girls' friends. Two girls told me the negative opinions and hostility made them closer to their boyfriends and the other girl basically told me the same thing in a less obvious way. But neither of them knew why. I'm just looking if anyone has a guess to why they think this kind of stuff happens.
norajane Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 The hostility probably fosters an "us against the world" mentality, thus enhancing their bonding. Couples tend to develop that mentality anyway, particularly married couples, although in a more positive sense (two are stronger than one). So my guess is that it is even stronger when faced with non-acceptance by others. It's also probably one of those perverse "you want even more what you are told you can't have" effects. Teenagers are especially prone to this. There is no surer way to make a teenage girl glom onto an unsuitable bf than for her parents to "forbid" her to see him. "I'll show you, I'm going to do it anyway, you can't stand in the way of twu wuv!" It heightens emotions, and makes people feel like they are more in love when really it's just emotion (anger, frustration, drama).
Author Kyle787 Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 The hostility probably fosters an "us against the world" mentality, thus enhancing their bonding. Couples tend to develop that mentality anyway, particularly married couples, although in a more positive sense (two are stronger than one). So my guess is that it is even stronger when faced with non-acceptance by others. It's also probably one of those perverse "you want even more what you are told you can't have" effects. Teenagers are especially prone to this. There is no surer way to make a teenage girl glom onto an unsuitable bf than for her parents to "forbid" her to see him. "I'll show you, I'm going to do it anyway, you can't stand in the way of twu wuv!" It heightens emotions, and makes people feel like they are more in love when really it's just emotion (anger, frustration, drama). Thanks for the feedback, I really liked what you said about certain cases of "love" being just anger or drama. That is a very interesting thought
Mrlonelyone Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Yeah what norajane said. It's a matter of emotionally immature women (even women in their early to mid 20's) acting like teenagers when it comes to dating. Their parents don't like the guy so they like him more. If the parents do like the guy they like him less. May we ask what you research showed when it came to interracial and/or same sex relationships?
carhill Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Challenges either bring a couple together or tear them apart. Compatibility plays an important role. Social disapproval is insignificant compared to real life challenges, IMO.
Author Kyle787 Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 Yeah what norajane said. It's a matter of emotionally immature women (even women in their early to mid 20's) acting like teenagers when it comes to dating. Their parents don't like the guy so they like him more. If the parents do like the guy they like him less. May we ask what you research showed when it came to interracial and/or same sex relationships? Yeah these specific girls were all in their early 20's so that now makes sense. Basically to sum it all up, a similar phenomenon occurred with same sex and interracial relationships. Most of the research had to do with statistics showing society's approval percentages on different situations. But like the teenager thing, when faced with criticism, more couples were compelled to do rebellious actions. One case I remember was where a white guy and black girl were dating, and they went out of their way to accompany each other in a way to show them selves off. For instance, the guy's parents strongly disapproved of them so he made the effort to bring her every time he went to his parents house. It seems in many cases, the disapproval urged those in control to have to choose to either side with your friends/parents/society or significant other.
insertnamehere Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Us vs Them is the oldest trick in the psychological game player's book. I will note, the Us vs Them relationship dynamic tends to wear off in effectiveness the older the woman in the relationship gets. Most girls get their tattooed drug-addict BF out of the way by age 20 and never try it again.
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