Are more men beginning to care about a womans status?

[musemaj11]

And there are plenty of people with Masters degrees working at McDonald's or Target.

Yea, thats right. Lets shut down all schools. Education is worthless. Even Bill Gates was a college dropout.

 

Viva stupidity!!!

[Elysian Powder]

Yea, thats right. Lets shut down all schools. Education is worthless. Even Bill Gates was a college dropout.

 

Viva stupidity!!!

 

Cough.

 

Viva la stupidity!!!

[Dust]

Again, your mind is stuck on archaic gender roles. A lot of guys date female doctors. Who do you think their husbands are?

 

I don't know, but what I'm saying is I wouldn't want to be a guy who had that on my check list. I'm not saying I wouldn't date a doctor, I'm saying that the status would have nothing to do with it.

 

Youre insecurity shows at the fact that a successful woman would make you feel like a bitxch or a gay man. Thats on you and says a lot about yourself.?

 

Are you dense? This is about caring for status. I never said dating a successful women would make me anything less. Actively looking for a woman to have status would make me less. As your title says "care about a womans status?" My answer hell no!

 

For a lot of guys' date=' we dont give a crap. A successful, ambitious woman, does not automatically mean Harvard lawyer. It could be a girl whos an actress that went the New School in NYC, or a local banker who went and got a business degree from state school and makes a modest middle class living. [/quote']

 

You made thread not me. This isn't a thread about "more men not threatned by womans status" this is a thread about you caring about a womans status. It's a thread about you saying I don't want to date the waitress I want the business owner. Since when is actress status or threatning? You're going back to 50's here?

 

Why is it bad that i actively seek a successful woman in todays world of global finance and equal opportunity? But its not a bad thing for you to seek someone whod be beneath your status since your an insecure guy who needs to prove hes the man?

 

I never said I'd seek some one beneath me and who says some one is beneath me if they arn't running a fortune 500 or something? I mean if a girl is a simple librarian at the public Library who never went to college what do I care if my other shot is with the jr executive at Google or some sht? I think caring about stuff like that is insecure. I gaurantee their jobs won't be in my calculation.

 

If its not a selling factor for you that a girl is ambitious in the professional world then good for you. Nowadays though' date=' most dudes know better than to let someone have potential say over their finances who isnt bringing equal things to the table. Most guys arent looking for a girl theyed have to take care of anymore. An accoutant can take care of herself a lot more easily than a waitress.[/quote']

 

Are you listening to yourself? I wouldn't even assume a waitress made less then an accountant. I mean if she works at even a half decent place like Cheescake factory she'd easily be pulling in over 60k. But like I said unlike you I don't look for women by the size of their wallet so I wouldn't care.

 

I want a partner. Whos to say that a cute girl who works for the DA's office cant be my princess still when Im working management of some international firm one day?

 

The DA's office haha. God you really want to go out with a prosecutor! So you want a partner as in at law firm?

 

Look I hear what your saying but I think its shallow of you. I thought us men were above that. I guess not. Seriously though just cause a girl makes a lot of money doesn't mean she handles that money good. And if the other guy has money doesn't make her not a gold digger. Also just because some one is well educated it doesn't make them smart or fun. Just saying.

[kaylan]

I don't know, but what I'm saying is I wouldn't want to be a guy who had that on my check list. I'm not saying I wouldn't date a doctor, I'm saying that the status would have nothing to do with it.

Ok good for you. Plenty of folks out there want mates who take care of themselves so they dont have to.

 

Are you dense? This is about caring for status. I never said dating a successful women would make me anything less. Actively looking for a woman to have status would make me less. As your title says "care about a womans status?" My answer hell no!

Are you dense?

Your comment about being gay reflects your attitudes toward dating a woman who takes care of herself and her finances. Whats wrong with a girl having a decent or well paying career?

 

Many people actively seek that because it shows they are adults. And then you make some stupid comment about being gay.

 

You made thread not me. This isn't a thread about "more men not threatned by womans status" this is a thread about you caring about a womans status. It's a thread about you saying I don't want to date the waitress I want the business owner. Since when is actress status or threatning? You're going back to 50's here?

The thread title is what its about.

 

Are you daft? People make threads based on their opinions a lot of the time. I did and many dudes have come in this thread and agreed with me. Women as well. Its a product of a changing world and younger men wanting different things.

 

And youd be surprised how being an actress has status. If she makes a decent amount of cash some guys wont date her. Because some men get intimidated if a girl makes more. This is a known fact of dating.

 

 

I never said I'd seek some one beneath me and who says some one is beneath me if they arn't running a fortune 500 or something? I mean if a girl is a simple librarian at the public Library who never went to college what do I care if my other shot is with the jr executive at Google or some sht? I think caring about stuff like that is insecure. I gaurantee their jobs won't be in my calculation.

You said you prefer the waitress. So lemme rephrase: you prefer women of lower economic class to yourself.

 

If you dont care what their jobs are, then the google exec has just as much a shot at you as the librarian, right?

 

All I said is that I seek a financially independent woman. Read my OP with comprehension! I also said that a financially independent woman is more common among college grads...fact.

 

 

Are you listening to yourself? I wouldn't even assume a waitress made less then an accountant. I mean if she works at even a half decent place like Cheescake factory she'd easily be pulling in over 60k. But like I said unlike you I don't look for women by the size of their wallet so I wouldn't care.

Waitresses do make less on average. Thats common knowledge...duh. I love how people use exceptions to prove their point. Sure she could work at an upscale place, but for most people, waitressing is an in between job or a college gig, or one of a few jobs they have. Its not something they want or plan to do for a long time.

 

Its not about the size of her wallet bro. Its about FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE and showing shes an adult without out dated expectations of men. Durrr. It also shows she thinks the same way I do about social things like gender roles and how we arent in the 50s anymore and women can work and do whatever they want.

 

The DA's office haha. God you really want to go out with a prosecutor! So you want a partner as in at law firm?

Dude it was an example. I was making an example of a "power couple". If I, for future instance, am doing middle management with an international firm of some sort, than a DA prosecutor would be up my alley in terms of status.

 

People usually date and marry folks who are similar to them. Female doctors are usually married to other medical professionals, teachers a lot of the time date teachers or other middle class folks. Its a simple concept to grasp.

Look I hear what your saying but I think its shallow of you. I thought us men were above that. I guess not. Seriously though just cause a girl makes a lot of money doesn't mean she handles that money good. And if the other guy has money doesn't make her not a gold digger. Also just because some one is well educated it doesn't make them smart or fun. Just saying.

Its shallow of me to want to date someone with the same ambitious attitude as I have?

 

Again let me repeat: PEOPLE DATE THOSE SIMILAR TO THEM. Be it by similar social class, attractiveness level, intelligence, etc. If this wasnt the case, movie stars would be dating plain folks all the time. And more doctors would be dating clerks.

 

Its not about how much the girl makes, but the fact that shes ambitious and doesnt expect me to take care of her. Shes independent and thats attractive. Learn to flipping read with comprehension. My OP and many other posts clearly states that.

 

And if shes bad with her money, then I dont want to date her either. It shows immaturity and lack of skills to maintain a stable future. Why would I marry someone who pisses money away? Because that could happen to my money if Im with her. Screw that.

 

Obviously she can still be a gold digger if she had her own money, but thats a wayyyyy rarer chance. Slin to nil in my opinion. And you know that. Most wealthy women arent trying to get a guys money because they have their own. So lets be realistic. Especially if the girl comes from old money.

 

And yes an educated person isnt automatically smart or fun. But theres a greater chance of them being smart though. People dont become academics, doctors, lawyers, etc without a high proportion of them being smart. Fun doesnt factor into that though. I can have fun with anyone, but Im not gonna date just anyone.

[Dust]

Theres a difference it takes that something special for me to have a real fun time. I don't have that "I can have fun with any one but I need some one with a career" attitude.

 

Look defend your stance all you want, I'm not like that and none of the guys I know are like that.

 

If I have a choice and one girls an art major and the other one is an engineer at NASA... I'm going to go with the girl I like better and the job or money won't impress me.

[musemaj11]

Im never going to sign up for something as important as marriage with someone who isnt at least my financial equal.

 

Its just simply good business. Women understand this concept and have done it for millenia and benefited from it at the expense of men. Fortunately unlike most men, Im not stupid. I refuse to enter a legally binding contract that will oblige me to become a workhorse for the rest of my life in order to provide for another perfectly healthy adult human being who if put in the same position wouldn't do the same for me herself (I mean how many women in this world who 'love their partners so unconditionally' that they gladly volunteer to provide for them? Very few if any at all).

 

So smarten up guys. Value yourself. Demand respect. You are more than a mere workhorse and stop letting anyone treating you as such.

Edited December 23, 2011 by musemaj11

[kaylan]

Theres a difference it takes that something special for me to have a real fun time. I don't have that "I can have fun with any one but I need some one with a career" attitude.

 

Look defend your stance all you want, I'm not like that and none of the guys I know are like that.

 

If I have a choice and one girls an art major and the other one is an engineer at NASA... I'm going to go with the girl I like better and the job or money won't impress me.

A relationship is much more than fun. Fun doesnt bring about all the other connections I need to have with someone. I am an outgoing guy and can have fun with a total stranger if I can make some plans for us to get to know another. However this does not mean I can date them.

 

How old are you might I ask? Because most guys I know who are out of college care about a girl being able to take care of herself so they arent expected to. Guys younger than mid 20s seem to not focus on that since they havent hit the real world yet or havent been in it for too long yet.

 

Your last sentence echos what I have constantly been saying. If I get along with a girl, thats great, but you mentioned both girls who went to school. Art major and Nasa girl BOTH went to school and prolly have decent jobs. Thats all that matters is that shes independent and taking care of herself. Id date the girl I get along with most obviously. Its not who makes more money. Again, READ WHAT I SAY WITH COMPREHENSION. Its about being independent.

 

If I had two identical women. One is an acting major, the other a business major. If they are equal in every way besides what their degree is in, I am choosing the business major. Wanna know why? NOTHING to do with money. The acting major could be doing broadway shows and tv ads making tons of money while the business major is only doing office management somewhere making far less.

 

I chose the business gal because as a student of business I have something in common with her. We are similar, hence the draw to her.

 

Like attracts like. Thats the whole point of this thread and what I have been saying.

 

Im never going to sign up for something as important as marriage with someone who isnt at least my financial equal.

 

Its just simply good business. Women understand this concept and have done it for millenia and benefited from it at the expense of men. Fortunately unlike most men, Im not stupid. I refuse to enter a legally binding contract that will oblige me to become a workhorse for the rest of my life in order to provide for another perfectly healthy adult human being who if put in the same position wouldn't do the same for me herself (I mean how many women in this world who 'love their partners so unconditionally' that they gladly volunteer to provide for them? Very few if any at all).

 

So smarten up guys. Value yourself. Demand respect. You are more than a mere workhorse and stop letting anyone treating you as such.

^This. Im looking for an equal partner because like attracts like, especially in a modern egalitarian society where people have more equal opportunities than the past.

[Dust]

A relationship is much more than fun. Fun doesnt bring about all the other connections I need to have with someone. I am an outgoing guy and can have fun with a total stranger if I can make some plans for us to get to know another. However this does not mean I can date them.

 

Yes I know a relationship is more than fun. At the same time I'm not going to be to so serious in the begining.

 

How old are you might I ask? Because most guys I know who are out of college care about a girl being able to take care of herself so they arent expected to. Guys younger than mid 20s seem to not focus on that since they havent hit the real world yet or havent been in it for too long yet.

 

Where do you get this stuff. I mean your entire thread was based on the premise of this is how you feel and are other men begining to feel this way? You asked the question. Now you act like there is some rule that guy older then mid 20's care about this? You realize just because you say it, doesn't make it so. I'm 27. I also laugh at people who talk about real world.

 

Your last sentence echos what I have constantly been saying. If I get along with a girl' date=' thats great, but you mentioned both girls who went to school. Art major and Nasa girl BOTH went to school and prolly have decent jobs. Thats all that matters is that shes independent and taking care of herself. Id date the girl I get along with most obviously. Its not who makes more money. Again, READ WHAT I SAY WITH COMPREHENSION. Its about being independent.[/quote']

 

Your the one with out reading comprehension. You used "status" refering to "more money" as opposed to "less money." This hasn't been a talk of independence.

 

Also Mr. Reading COMREHENSION my scenario was one girl is studying art (no job) the other is already working for NASA. Now obviously its ridiculous to believe you'd meet two people who you found equally attractive in every way except the job... but this is the way you seem to break people down.

 

If I had two identical women. One is an acting major, the other a business major. If they are equal in every way besides what their degree is in, I am choosing the business major. Wanna know why? NOTHING to do with money. The acting major could be doing broadway shows and tv ads making tons of money while the business major is only doing office management somewhere making far less.

 

I chose the business gal because as a student of business I have something in common with her. We are similar, hence the draw to her.

 

Like attracts like. Thats the whole point of this thread and what I have been saying.

 

Now you're saying like attracts like? Isn't the saying oposites attract! Like attracts like sounds like two guys in the lockeroom having a good time over their love of wrestling...

[kaylan]

Yes I know a relationship is more than fun. At the same time I'm not going to be to so serious in the beginning.

Who says Im going to be serious in the beginning. Im going to just date the girl and get to know her. Once ive found out enough about her, then ill decide if shes long term material for me.

 

Ive only had two serious girlfriend in my life. So I take exclusivity seriously and dont just jump into it.

 

Where do you get this stuff. I mean your entire thread was based on the premise of this is how you feel and are other men begining to feel this way? You asked the question. Now you act like there is some rule that guy older then mid 20's care about this? You realize just because you say it, doesn't make it so. I'm 27. I also laugh at people who talk about real world.

Theres not a rule. Its common sense that younger dudes in school tend to care less about anything serious in the adult dating world. Use some logical thinking dude. Kids dont think about this stuff.

 

The real world makes you laugh? Well good for you. And what I have been saying is true. Read surveys, studies, blogs, and things like that. Talk to a lot more people. This isnt some recent phenomenon. As women have started to hit the career field more and as times have changed, a lot more dudes have started to expect a gal to pull her weight. They expect more than in the past.

 

Its about getting along of course, but other things are important as well and play a role in getting along.

 

Your the one with out reading comprehension. You used "status" refering to "more money" as opposed to "less money." This hasn't been a talk of independence.

OMG READ DUDE. Status ties into money and independence. Are you daft? It can mean more or less of either term.

 

Jeez

 

Also Mr. Reading COMREHENSION my scenario was one girl is studying art (no job) the other is already working for NASA. Now obviously its ridiculous to believe you'd meet two people who you found equally attractive in every way except the job... but this is the way you seem to break people down.

Again, read my freaking OP with COMPREHENSION. I said I have no issue with a girl who is IN school. Its shows she has a plan for her life. Jeezus Christ you must have skimmed all the words in my OP since I keep having to repeat myself.

 

Tbh as someone whos out of school, id prefer to date a girl not in school so theres more time to do thing together. However, if we get along and she has that ambition that attracts me, I dont care if she studies art.

 

And I swear your dense. Obviously two people are never identical. I was presenting a hypothetical situation so you could MAYBE finally understand my point...the point that the money isnt the important thing...the independence and ambition is.

 

Now you're saying like attracts like? Isn't the saying oposites attract! Like attracts like sounds like two guys in the lockeroom having a good time over their love of wrestling...

No its not like saying opposites attract. Its the inverse idea. Look around you...people date and marry those similar to them the vast majority of the time.

 

And your wrestling joke. Sure, guys can bond and become friends over common interests. If they both like pro wrestling, they have something to talk about because...oh my gosh... like attracts like. In romance and friendships, thats how people work.

 

Its not a hard concept to understand dude.

[Woggle]

Being successful is a good thing but if she doesn't have the fundamentals that make a great partner all else means nothing. I look for a woman that would make a great partner and everything after that is just a great bonus.

[InJest]

Kaylan, were the answers to my questions on page 7 too painful to respond?

[kaylan]

Lmao dont flatter yourself. I merely got caught up answering everyone else. Ill easily retort as I always do

[phineas]

In regards to "having another woman raise your child"....honestly I think that's ridiculous....and studies show that kids in daycare are much more well adusted than those that stay home with mom......They have more interaction with other kids their age and they're also interacting with adults who have different personalities. They're learning LIFE.

 

Staying home with your children is your choice.....I tried and didn't like it one bit.....some people like it....but please, don't say that someone else is raising my child.....You have NO idea.

 

I agree. Got a 5 & 3 yr old.

The earlier kids interact with other kids on a daily basis the better.

[kaylan]

Glad we agree that I was qualifying something, and not spouting off due to insecurity, which is what my comment was in response to.

Still feel some of youre need to qualify comes from a bit of insecurity. But whatever

 

When did you graduate, and how many interviews have you had for positions in your field?

Graduated in August. Prolly about 4 meaningful interviews in my field...several more in field semi related to mine.

 

What's wrong with getting a job in accounting until you do land that job you want?

I dont have a degree in accounting. You need a undergrad degree at minimum for that...and most places want a CPA anyways. Why would I pay money and spend months studying to take the CPA exam when its not my field?

 

The economy is a valid reason for someone losing their job, not for not being hired. Please explain to me how going to another country to conduct business is dumb, when you want a career in international business. You could argue that working for a US based company with international ties to gain experience makes more sense..if you had a job working for a US based company with international ties. All you have is offers to conduct business abroad(which many people in your field would be leaping at).

Lmao, the economy is not a valid reason for not being hired? Are you fvvking serious?

 

Companies have been downsizing and going out of business all over the place since the recession started. Less jobs in general means people get laid off and people dont get hired. Where the hell is your logic dude? Wow

 

I dont have much professional experience, so its not smart for me to jump abroad and flip my whole life around right away. If you studied international business at all youd know a lot goes into being an expat worker. Mentally and Socially, at work and at home in the new country. Id rather have some work experience under my belt so I can be more sound for professional success in a new market. Plus I do have family and friends here do I not?

 

So people who are leaping at those jobs are probably not fresh graduates with little work experience in their field. Plus I do have other things going on here at home at the moment.

 

I think many would agree that it's the perfect time for you to do it, since you're such a fan of statistics.

Explain to me why its a perfect time to do it? I have years of life ahead of me since Im so young. Id rather get a few years under my belt and then go abroad when Im a little bit older and have tied up all my ends here at home so I wont have any regrets. Moving to another country is not to be taken lightly or rushed into.

Did your parents renovate the basement while you were at school or something? Progress is all that matters though, so I'll give you that one.

Obviously Ive been going to school and getting my life together. But your poor attempt at humor did not go unnoticed.

 

Where'd you see it? One of your many internships?

Best friends dad was a senior executive for one of the major telcom companies. He now works in management at government agency. So yes, experience + degree > only experience

 

I don't remember their experience, but it had to be comparable for them to be considered out of hundreds of applicants.

Couldnt of been great experience if they got passed over. So meh.

 

So, why do you keep bringing it up?

Its a part of the conversation.

I was simply deciding to leave it be at that point because I lost interest.

 

Perceptive has a couple meanings. I believe you're probably perceptive in sense that you respond to sensory stimuli. However, I have a very tough time believing you have anything more than a marginal amount of sympathetic understanding or insight, which is the sense of the word to which I was referring. You only see what's on the surface. Security is an illusion.

Security is not illusion. Security comes in many forms. Emotional, Financial, Mental, Physical, etc. Just because security can be broken through, depending on its strength, does not make it an illusion. I could easily say lifes an illusion, but calling something an illusion is an easy way to gloss over and dismiss something.

 

Now, whether or not you feel I am perceptive really matters little to me. So it is what it is.

 

Now our convo is beginning to derail the thread. Do you have anything to add to the Original Topic? Because this isnt a thread about my professional life goals.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

kaylan

Lmao...youre kidding right? Thats like asking if theres huge difference between a 20/21 yr old and a 25 yr old.

 

So much growing and maturing is down in your 20s through each phase(early, mid, late). Age ranges dont start to equalize in maturity and wants until the 30s usually...Once you hit thirty people are in completely different mindsets and stages of life usually. 30 IS very different from 25.

 

And 30 is different from 35 and 35 is different from 40 and 40 is different from 45. As you age, you'll find some things change about yourself. And at the same time, 5 years isn't all that different. People are always changing and staying the same in some regards too. However, I don't think that's an excuse to say that 25 is an acceptable age to still play college aged kid. Although that is what a lot of society does now.

 

There is most certainly a difference between a 20 year old and a 25 year old though. I suspect a lot of people do because it's a big time for a lot of changes. You go from your parents home, to college, to being on your own. But after that, if you are still doing tons of changing from 25-30, then you clearly still had a lot of growing up to do. And I'm sorry but I think this is part of the problem with society today. Generations that well into adulthood are still quite immature. And I am guilty of some of that myself. And people that get degree upon degree to avoid going into the real world.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Wow this thread offends me. It's bad enough many women are impressed by a guy calling himself doctor or being Yale educated, but now it seems the OP is doing it. Do you seriously sit around saying why can't I meet a nice doctor or other such nonsense.

 

Seriously if I met a girl who was a waitress or better yet didn't have a job I seriously couldn't care less. Also I don't care if she lives at home with mommy and daddy. I'm not a woman. I'm looking for my princess not my prince.

 

I'm not saying I wouldn't be impressed by some girl being a scientist or what ever. I'm just saying it isn't even something I care about to the degree that its something I'm seeking.

 

I think the desire for either a man or women that specifically wants someone of a certain job is purely based out of their own insecurities and needing that "status" from their partner. It would be the same thing if I said I would only date men that drove BMWs. Since that reflects a certain stereotype about what kind of people drive BMWs.

 

And people can package it up in something that sounds good like, "I just want someone with ambition", but I think it has less to do with ambition and more to do with status.

 

And I am in agreement with you Dust that if a man is a doctor, sure, that's great and it shows he is smart within his profession. But that says nothing about the kind of man he really is.

[InJest]

Graduated in August. Prolly about 4 meaningful interviews in my field...several more in field semi related to mine.

 

Lmao, the economy is not a valid reason for not being hired? Are you fvvking serious?

 

Companies have been downsizing and going out of business all over the place since the recession started. Less jobs in general means people get laid off and people dont get hired. Where the hell is your logic dude? Wow

 

Yeah, I am serious. You've had, what, 10-15 interviews in 4 months? Sounds like there's jobs out there to me.

 

 

 

I dont have much professional experience, so its not smart for me to jump abroad and flip my whole life around right away. If you studied international business at all youd know a lot goes into being an expat worker. Mentally and Socially, at work and at home in the new country. Id rather have some work experience under my belt so I can be more sound for professional success in a new market. Plus I do have family and friends here do I not?

 

Taking everything you said here into consideration, how is going abroad gain professional experience, of which you have none, not smart? I get that it's a lot to deal with, but I think year of working abroad would look much better on a resume, than a year of posting on loveshack until the wee hours of the morning.

 

So people who are leaping at those jobs are probably not fresh graduates with little work experience in their field. Plus I do have other things going on here at home at the moment.

 

They're actually settled in their careers for the most part now, but when they were fresh they would have jumped.

 

Explain to me why its a perfect time to do it?

You don't have **** else to do.

 

Best friends dad was a senior executive for one of the major telcom companies. He now works in management at government agency. So yes, experience + degree > only experience.

Not sure why you brought this up, but okay.

 

 

Couldnt of been great experience if they got passed over. So meh.

 

I know one worked for the Marine Corps for longer than I've even been working, and I'd imagine they have some pretty complex computer systems. Hiring managers pick the person they think will do the job the best. That's coming from my 5+ years(I know, it's not that much) of professional experience(3 as a Business Intelligence Specialist), not something my friends dad told me.

 

 

Security is not illusion. Security comes in many forms. Emotional, Financial, Mental, Physical, etc. Just because security can be broken through, depending on its strength, does not make it an illusion. I could easily say lifes an illusion, but calling something an illusion is an easy way to gloss over and dismiss something.

 

You've said yourself that people are losing jobs and going out of business left and right, regardless of credentials and no one knows who will be next, yet you also say that having a degree provides security. Sounds to me like a degree provides the illusion of security.

 

Reality is an illusion, albeit a persistent one. - Albert Einstein

 

If you know anything about particle physics/quantum mechanics, then you'll know that this is proven everyday. Check out Young's Experiment, not that you're perceptive enough to make the connection between that and this topic.

 

 

Now our convo is beginning to derail the thread. Do you have anything to add to the Original Topic? Because this isnt a thread about my professional life goals.

 

Sorry to derail your thread, but it just irks me when a kid that's mooching off his parents starts popping off about status. I'm done.

Edited December 23, 2011 by InJest

[kaylan]

Yeah, I am serious. You've had, what, 10-15 interviews in 4 months? Sounds like there's jobs out there to me.

And how many people are out of work? Do you pay attention to the news?

 

Taking everything you said here into consideration, how is going abroad gain professional experience, of which you have none, not smart? I get that it's a lot to deal with, but I think year of working abroad would look much better on a resume, than a year of posting on loveshack until the wee hours of the morning.

A year of posting on love shack? Ive only been out of school for a few months. Why the hell am I going to move internationally when I havent even been out of school for 6 months? Come on now dude. And like I said, I have family, friends, and other things going on here. Im not gonna leave the country a few months after I graduate at age 25.

 

 

They're actually settled in their careers for the most part now, but when they were fresh they would have jumped.

Untrue. Going abroad is a huge commitment for anyone. Especially a fresh grad.

 

Its one thing to study abroad for a semester as a young adult. Its another to move your entire life to another country after graduating.

 

You don't have **** else to do.

Again, I have only been out of school for a few months. Why the hell rush things? I have plenty of time.

 

Not sure why you brought this up, but okay.

Please go back and see what I was responding to

I know one worked for the Marine Corps for longer than I've even been working, and I'd imagine they have some pretty complex computer systems. Hiring managers pick the person they think will do the job the best. That's coming from my 5+ years(I know, it's not that much) of professional experience(3 as a Business Intelligence Specialist), not something my friends dad told me.

Whatever you say. Meh. Doesnt discount my best friends dad whos been at his position prolly since you were in grade school.

 

You've said yourself that people are losing jobs and going out of business left and right, regardless of credentials and no one knows who will be next, yet you also say that having a degree provides security. Sounds to me like a degree provides the illusion of security.

A degree is security. I am still way better off having a degree than being an average high school grad in this job market. College grads can command more and get position a high school grad cannot. And this is about the future too. Not just the current economy. Hence the security. When statistics show Bachelors, Masters, and Doctoral grads making close to the same amount of money high school grads make, then Ill stop believing theres no security.

 

Reality is an illusion, albeit a persistent one. - Albert Einstein

 

If you know anything about particle physics/quantum mechanics, then you'll know that this is proven everyday. Check out Young's Experiment, not that you're perceptive enough to make the connection between that and this topic.

Its all based on subjective belief. Einstein does not define what I deem my reality.

Sorry to derail your thread, but it just irks me when a kid that's mooching off his parents starts popping off about status. I'm done.

Mooching? lmao...ok buddy...Im a mooch because Im your basic grad who moved home for a few months following/during a recession. Ok.

 

Never mind that I buy food, pay my own bills, and got myself through college without my parents going into debt for me. Sorry that many many Americans arent as lucky as others to have decent jobs at the moment.

 

I guess those unfortunate souls that are forced to collect unemployment to try are pay their mortgage are mooches too huh?

[kaylan]

And 30 is different from 35 and 35 is different from 40 and 40 is different from 45. As you age, you'll find some things change about yourself. And at the same time, 5 years isn't all that different. People are always changing and staying the same in some regards too. However, I don't think that's an excuse to say that 25 is an acceptable age to still play college aged kid. Although that is what a lot of society does now.

 

There is most certainly a difference between a 20 year old and a 25 year old though. I suspect a lot of people do because it's a big time for a lot of changes. You go from your parents home, to college, to being on your own. But after that, if you are still doing tons of changing from 25-30, then you clearly still had a lot of growing up to do. And I'm sorry but I think this is part of the problem with society today. Generations that well into adulthood are still quite immature. And I am guilty of some of that myself. And people that get degree upon degree to avoid going into the real world.

 

Like I said. Theres a big difference. Its the reason why 30 year old women arent rushing to date guys in their 20s. Your teens and 20s are filled with lots of growing and self discovery. 25 is a lot different from 30.

 

I think the desire for either a man or women that specifically wants someone of a certain job is purely based out of their own insecurities and needing that "status" from their partner. It would be the same thing if I said I would only date men that drove BMWs. Since that reflects a certain stereotype about what kind of people drive BMWs.

 

And people can package it up in something that sounds good like, "I just want someone with ambition", but I think it has less to do with ambition and more to do with status.

 

And I am in agreement with you Dust that if a man is a doctor, sure, that's great and it shows he is smart within his profession. But that says nothing about the kind of man he really is.

Read the thread. Like attracts like. People want someone similar to them. Someone being more attracted to a certain type of man or woman is not the same as saying theyed only date someone who drives a particular car. The key word in that sentence is the world "only".

 

I have been saying that as long as a girl is driven and has a plan, thats attractive...but ill be more drawn to a girl who has the same interests I have...which is business and lawyer. My dad is a lawyer and I am a student of business. Makes sense to you now? Im more attracted to someone similar to me. People are like this with romantic and platonic relationships.

 

Ambition tends to reflect status. But status is not the most important thing. Being a driven, independent, adult is important. If I met a business analyst who only make about 45K a year and got along with her great, and another girl whos a lawyer and makes 85k but who I dont get along with too well...Im choosing the first girl because I click with her better. Both girls would be stable in their own right, which makes them long term candidates anyways.

 

I dont see whats so hard for some of you to understand. I think some of you are refusing to understand whats been said by myself and others in this thread because you see my OP as an attack on you if you happen to not have a degree. Its not an attack, I just know what I want from a partner.

[Dust]

Being successful is a good thing but if she doesn't have the fundamentals that make a great partner all else means nothing. I look for a woman that would make a great partner and everything after that is just a great bonus.

 

Thats how I feel. I'm not going to date a girl because of money or a job.

 

I think the desire for either a man or women that specifically wants someone of a certain job is purely based out of their own insecurities and needing that "status" from their partner. It would be the same thing if I said I would only date men that drove BMWs. Since that reflects a certain stereotype about what kind of people drive BMWs.

 

And people can package it up in something that sounds good like, "I just want someone with ambition", but I think it has less to do with ambition and more to do with status.

 

And I am in agreement with you Dust that if a man is a doctor, sure, that's great and it shows he is smart within his profession. But that says nothing about the kind of man he really is.

 

Glad we agree!

 

The OP just doesn't get it. He's type of guy who argues dating Leagues exist and the like.

 

If I dated some one wildly successful it wouldn't be for the money or job. It would be because I liked the person. I think to think of it any other way is nasty.

[kaylan]

Again, learn to read. Its not about the amount of money made....read this quote again and maybe youll understand its about being an independent adult that can take care of themselves and accurately plan out a future.

 

 

You guys just dont get it and dont read what it written

Im never going to sign up for something as important as marriage with someone who isnt at least my financial equal.

 

Its just simply good business. Women understand this concept and have done it for millenia and benefited from it at the expense of men. Fortunately unlike most men, Im not stupid. I refuse to enter a legally binding contract that will oblige me to become a workhorse for the rest of my life in order to provide for another perfectly healthy adult human being who if put in the same position wouldn't do the same for me herself (I mean how many women in this world who 'love their partners so unconditionally' that they gladly volunteer to provide for them? Very few if any at all).

 

So smarten up guys. Value yourself. Demand respect. You are more than a mere workhorse and stop letting anyone treating you as such.

^this. Im looking for a partner. An equal. For me, no matter how cool a chick is, if shes not self sufficient and doesnt have a plan for the future, its unattractive.

[bean1]

I have no qualms with you wanting to be a single mom, but I do have a problem with you going to college. I mean, think of the waste...College education is expensive, and someone had to pay for yours...Either your parents paid, in which case they wasted tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars or you took out a student loan that your future husband will be paying off. In either case, it was a completely unnecessary expenditure.

 

Also, if you were in a competitive program, your spot could have been awarded to someone else...someone who would have actually worked in the field. So it's not just parents and husbands, but society as a whole that is paying the price.

 

Single mom? I'm married. And I paid for my university while working full-time. It took me 8 years to finish a 5 year program, but I paid it through my own pocket without any student loans I worked full-time in my field for several years before leaving to be a stay at home mom.

[bean1]

I hope nobody means to imply that working moms pay others to 'raise their child' - the mom is the one who is up all night with a crying baby, sometimes even dad. But yes, a working mom generally does pay another woman 40 hours a week to care for her child, there is no dispute in that is there? I've done it myself. I just no longer care to spend that money. If you do, go ahead, that's your choice. There's nothing wrong with daycare. I just don't see it as a worthwhile expense if I don't HAVE to.

[lululucy]

Again, learn to read. Its not about the amount of money made....read this quote again and maybe youll understand its about being an independent adult that can take care of themselves and accurately plan out a future.

 

 

You guys just dont get it and dont read what it written

 

^this. Im looking for a partner. An equal. For me, no matter how cool a chick is, if shes not self sufficient and doesnt have a plan for the future, its unattractive.

 

 

I would never marry a man who was happy working a minimum wage job for the rest of his life. Or a man who made a lot of money but expected me to become Susie Homemaker once we were married. If that makes me shallow, fine, but I want someone my equal too -- not saying they have to be rolling in the dough (after all, I plan on winning the lottery tonight) but they have to have some sort of aspiration besides clock in clock out! I don't get why it's somehow an issue that a guy wants the same thing, women have been looking for stable equals for a long time.

 

 

bean, a lot of women do pay for daycare or nannies if they're high powered working women. Even my mom (who was definitely not high powered) paid quite a bit into daycare over the years. I know one (literally ONE) stay at home, so perhaps things are different where you live. Did I hear you say you lived in Europe or am I imagining things?

[bean1]

Haha no that was someone else who said I lived in Europe (and that I'm a single mom, and that my parents paid for school... none of which is true). I live in Canada. Being a SAHM is much more common here than in the US.