Are more men beginning to care about a womans status?

[InJest]

I didn't choose that link, the person I was responding to did.

 

My question is how does it qualify you? IE: What do you learn, that prepares you for one of those positions in an English curriculum, that you aren't taught by high school. When I see Enlish degree, I think, "Cool, this person is literate in the English language. They can read, write, and speak English correctly, something I mastered at around...age 11 or 12."

 

Since you clearly didn't read my first post, I'm a 26 year old college dropout/flunkie, making over $90k as a software engineer, working for a neuroscience institution in Washington, DC. Furthermore, I was offered two positions in Vancouver, BC during my last job search too...

[ptp]

I wouldn't say that it is critical, but yes a woman's status is important to me. I would like someone who is a college grad, maybe even post grad. She should be working, though how much she makes doesn't really matter to me.

 

Plus women in business clothing? Now that is a win win for everybody. A nice pant suit or a professional dress + blouse; have mercy....

[Janesays]

I'm a fairly financially successful woman. The only thing I've noticed about how that affects my dating life is that wealthier men tended to ask me out when I was still single. I guess they were reassured that I'm not a gold digger or something. *shrugs

[BWLoca]

Um, someone has to write and edit that material.

 

I just don't understand putting down English majors just because it's of no interest to you. I may not have an engineering degree, but I live pretty comfortably.

 

Admittedly, we have to gain a few more skills for certain jobs, but having an English degree is a good base.

Edited December 21, 2011 by BWLoca

[lululucy]

Web-programming is probably the only field you don't need a degree in. Big whoop, congratulations? I personally find that kind of work dragging and incredibly boring but I'm not calling you out on doing something I would never find enjoyable.

 

Um, someone has to write and edit that material.

 

I just don't understand putting down English majors just because it's of no interest to you. I may not have an engineering degree, but I live pretty comfortably.

 

Admittedly, we have to gain a few more skills for certain jobs, but having an English degree is a good base.

 

Any arts degree is a good base for most careers. Wolf has it right, companies look for the highest qualified individual. Having a four year degree proves that you're going to finish projects, have a certain degree of knowledge of the english language, are able to write -- please try using your drop-out status to get a job outside the comp-tech industry and see how that goes. I'm glad you found something you love to do that makes you money. Why do you care if other people want degrees to get jobs that make THEM money.

[InJest]

I don't have an engineering degree either. That was my whole point. If I can excel in a field as technical as software engineering without a degree, then how much does getting a degree in English really help in the non-editorial and creative jobs on that list you posted?

 

As far as someone writing or editing material...those are called "writers" and "editors", respectively, not developers, and I addressed that already by saying an English degree would help qualify one for those positions. The position you're talking about, you know, someone who edits web pages, is called a "web editor". I work with them everyday, and a trained monkey could do their job.

 

I'm not putting down English majors, because I have no interest. I'm actually fascinated by language and communication, which is one of the reasons I'm so good at writing code. I'm just saying that it doesn't really train you to do much, that someone of average intelligence, without a degree in English wouldn't be able to pick up easily, and I already mentioned the few that it does.

[InJest]

Why do you care if other people want degrees to get jobs that make THEM money.

 

Thank you for making my point!

 

What I was getting at the whole time, is that college(at least in the US) is by and large a scam. I went there, and witnessed it firsthand. Everyone bull****s around, cheats on their exams, and then goes and gets wasted. The piece of paper and your personality are what get you the job, not the actual knowledge(except in my case). I also find it hilarious that people think their bachelor's degree means they're of a higher status.

Edited December 21, 2011 by InJest

[kaylan]

My goodness, what a prejudiced replies from men in this thread.

 

Yes, when a woman is on your level in terms of intelligence that is attractive, but the thing that is important about that intelligence is that you're able to have good and interesting conversations with her, conversations that bond you two together.

 

And THAT, i.e. being able to have conversations on a deeper level beyond the mere superficial, that's not limited to women with a college/university degree.

 

Its not limited to college educated women, but its much more common for an edcuated woman to have her sh!!t together and be a more learned person...ie...smart.

 

 

Why is it okay for women to like dominant alpha and want to feel protected but if men prefer a soft, feminine and nurturing type we are neanderthals who are afraid of strong women? Women always say they like to feel protected and like a man to take charge. If I have to live up to my role why shouldn't she?

 

There is nothing unattractive about an educated and successful woman but women who take on what they think are the worst make stereotypical traits because they think it empowers them are a major turn off. They don't know a thing about how men really are so how can they claim they live like one?

Its not about men preferring anything feminine. You obviously didnt read what Wolf was saying before. He was basically berating women for having a choice and a means for themselves and making far out assumptions based on his bitter bias.

 

I'm sorry, that sounds horribly elitist. I hope you didn't mean to really sound that way, did you? There is a difference between putting a big emphasis on education and having an elitist attitude. Being a nursing/medical assistant is a perfectly respectable career and the educational path to get there is also respectable.

 

No, there was no thesis involved, but IMO university education is completely overrated and sometimes people come away with a lack of respect for other professionals.

 

I spent eight years in university, had a 4.0, and have a degree, teaching certificate, and had a high paying career before I decided to become a stay at home mother. My goals and ambitions are no better than a medical/nursing assistant and neither are yours.

Nurses, especially head nurses, can make loads of money. Med assistants make decent coin too. I dont mind a girl going to school for that, but will admit Im more attracted to lawyers and business type women.

 

I run my own start-up business that is really taking off, and I've noticed a few things lately.

 

1. When it comes to dating, most men my age and older (mid-30s and up) seem threatened by how well I'm doing -- unless they're doing better. Younger men, on the other hand (especially guys in their 20s), seem to love it, tell me I rock for doing so well, and cheer me on, which is awesome!

 

2. My male clients and business partners treat me like some kind of genius, love scheduling face-to-face meetings and lunches with me, and CONSTANTLY drop comments about how boring their stay-at-home wife is. This guy's wife called him a couple of times during our meeting the other day, and he quickly got rid of her, telling me, "She's bored at home with the kids and has nothing to do."

 

 

In running my business, I do need to be "alpha", and I'm learning to do it better all the time. But in a romantic relationship, I'm a sappy softie with a totally different approach. The business is about money, but the relationship is about love -- two totally different needs and priorities. I wish men would realize that a strong, successful woman has more facets to her personality. In a relationship, I prefer to let the man lead in the traditional ways, and I like to nurture in the traditional ways and am great at it. But if the **** hits the fan and I have to step up, I can and will.

Trust me Id have no issue with you. Strong successful women are sexy to me. I like a woman that will give me a challenge and knows how to stand up for herself.

 

Men these days are looking for a partner in love, not a subordinate. Some folks dont seem to get that or accept it.

 

Kaylan, you make me laugh. College in the United States is a joke, and certainly does not qualify someone as educated. Some of the stupidest people I've ever met, I met at the University of Maryland and they became teachers of all things. Some of them even have Master's degrees..and teach 3rd grade.

 

I realized what a scam it was a couple years into getting my CompSci degree from the 14th ranked school in the country. I stopped going to class, partied harder than ever, and failed out. I'm now a software engineer at a neuroscience institution, making more money than both project managers on my team($93k)..who have Master's degrees.

 

Let me take a stab at what your degree is in...business administration?

College very much does qualify someone as educated. Its the reason why those with a degree and their children score higher on aptitude tests and scholastic tests. And its also the reason why they make...There are many studies on this. Sure it doesnt speak for every single person in this country, but for most people, college = brains= money.

 

Its usually the people lacking in the brain department who dont make something out of themselves. Its not surprising that in online dating sites, the women who use a load of slang in their profile and have kids young tend to only have a high school diploma most of the time. And thats just in the dating realm. If you look at studies it shows that uneducated and/or those who are less smart, have more kids and spend out of their means more often than their educated counterparts.

 

Sure some people may not like that truth, but thats how the world is. Why deny it? Would you like these studies?

[lululucy]

Thank you for making my point!

 

What I was getting at the whole time, is that college(at least in the US) is by and large a scam. I went there, and witnessed it firsthand. Everyone bull****s around, cheats on their exams, and then goes and gets wasted. The piece of paper and your personality are what get you the job, not the actual knowledge(except in my case). I also find it hilarious that people think their bachelor's degree means they're of a higher status.

 

To me, I think the status comes from having a goal or career -- someone with a degree has obviously made advances towards getting to their ideal career. A job doing web-programming is fine, it's a career and it's being responsible.

 

My boyfriend hasn't been to university and I don't think less of him because of it: he owns a home and a car and he has a steady job with aspirations to getting to his ideal career, which will involve him going back to school. If the piece of paper and the personality get you the job, then I don't get the problem you have with people enjoying and being proud of their university degrees. There are d-bags in every field, degrees or no degrees.

[BWLoca]

The engineering degree comment wasn't really pointed at you. I typed that before reading your post.

 

If you're going by that list (one that I didn't make up, by the way), you'll notice that it says, "some may require additional education and/or training beyond the undergraduate degree".

 

My point wasn't to put down anyone who doesn't have a degree. I only wanted to point out that just because I chose something other than engineering or law, it doesn't automatically mean I went to school for a Mrs. Degree.

Edited December 21, 2011 by BWLoca

[kaylan]

They, for the most part, expect men to be men, which I have no problem doing. But women aren't expected to be women, and if you want that it means you hate women etc.

 

The real reason people like Kaylan want women to be the way they are is because he doesn't want to share his (hypothetical?) money. Imagine that, getting married to someone and then being unwilling to share with them. He sounds more like he's selfish and wouldnt even share his wealth with a woman he married, than he does like a male-feminist who sheds a tear about how far women have come whenever Nancy Pelosi is shrieking about something on the tube.

Dude, gender roles have shifted. So to many...there is no man being a man, or woman being a woman anymore. Its a partnership. I dont expect a woman to cook or clean or stay home all the time. Its joint thing. Sometimes ill cook, sometimes she will clean....sometimes we do both together. That simple.

 

I dont mind if someone prefers to stay home or wants their spouse to stay home...as long as they have a good reason. However, all of your reasons are negative BS based on stereotypical generalizations of women who like to work.

 

Me not wanting to HAVE to spend my money on a girl I am dating is just ONE reason I like a professional gal. I also want a girl who can relate to me on my daily life. Most people want an equal in dating nowadays...Im no different. Id love a girl who shared my interests. Give me an independent professional gal who loves football(soccer) and plays guitar and Ill be set.

 

Who said I wouldnt want to share when Im married? I never said that but you are putting words in my mouth. Wanting someone whos independent does means Im not obligated to take care of someone over the age of 18. Get that thru your head. Furthermore, middleclass households are more financially stable with 2 working parents. Obviously finances come together in marriage, but marriage is a partnership kid.

 

The fact that you constantly cry about feminism says a lot about you. I see nothing wrong with people who want the gender on equal footing in the dating realm and career realm. If anything that would help more men out instead of guys getting uses by gold diggers and teases who just string dudes along.

 

 

I wouldn't use Nancy Pelosi as an example. She has been happily married for years and was once even a stay at home. She is not the caricature the right loves to paint.

 

I have seen many men who can be as tough as nails when at their jobs but big softies at home. They check the hardness at the door when they clock out for the day. I really hate to generalize but I don't see the same with some women. They bring the business mentality into the relationship and it is nothing but constant fireworks and arguing. It feels like a man is constantly being tested with them.

 

I know not all women are like this so if you are successful and not like this please don't feel offended.

Unless you have dated all the professional women out there, you cant speak on all of them.

 

I know dudes in the city who date girls that are tough cookies at work, but kittens at home.

 

Sometimes I think dudes here like to take 1 or 2 experiences or things they've heard, and turn it into dogma.

 

I wouldn't say that it is critical, but yes a woman's status is important to me. I would like someone who is a college grad, maybe even post grad. She should be working, though how much she makes doesn't really matter to me.

 

Plus women in business clothing? Now that is a win win for everybody. A nice pant suit or a professional dress + blouse; have mercy....

^This. Professional dress = hot...esp with a little cleavage lmao

Um, someone has to write and edit that material.

 

I just don't understand putting down English majors just because it's of no interest to you. I may not have an engineering degree, but I live pretty comfortably.

 

Admittedly, we have to gain a few more skills for certain jobs, but having an English degree is a good base.

It is a good base. I think the thing is that people are critical of the majors where its harder to find a job right out of undergrad with those degrees.

[Lovelybird]

I wasn't putting down women who work because they have to, I admire them. What I was talking about is women who choose to dedicate all their energy and time into their career just to increase their shoe collection or go on stupid cruises. The majority of "professional" women in NYC, fall under the latter category.

maybe that because putting energy into a career is far easier to control than putting energy into a love affair. You know the hard work can be rewarded by hard working, but love is a totally different story. Not saying it is right way to go, but for many women, it is safer way to get her going with life. Same for many men too

[InJest]

Sure it doesnt speak for every single person in this country, but for most people, college = brains= money.

 

Its usually the people lacking in the brain department who dont make something out of themselves.

 

I don't need the studies, as it would be silly to try and dispute them. What I have been disputing is this assumption that college = brains. It really only takes average intelligence to complete most degrees, and I met plenty of morons while I was in school. With curved tests, failing grades still pass and even get Cs and Bs.

 

You never answered what your degree is in.

 

 

To me, I think the status comes from having a goal or career -- someone with a degree has obviously made advances towards getting to their ideal career.

 

Point taken, though I get the feeling that most just want to see themselves as smarter.

 

If you're going by that list (one that I didn't make up, by the way), you'll notice that it says, "some may require additional education and/or training beyond the undergraduate degree".

 

My point wasn't to put down anyone who doesn't have a degree. I only wanted to point out that just because I chose something other than engineering or law, it doesn't automatically mean I went to school for a Mrs. Degree.

 

If your goal was to point out positions in which an English degree prepares you for, why would you cite a source, that expressly states there are jobs that an English degree may not qualify you for? I don't think you went to school for a Mrs. Degree. To get an English degree is difficult, I agree. My point is that it is not very practical. It doesn't train you to do much more than high school does. Whatever it is you do, I'm pretty sure I could've been taught to do it right out of high school and I'm pretty sure you could have too. The real point that I'm making is that your degree doesn't help you do your job, it just got you the job.

Edited December 21, 2011 by InJest

[BWLoca]

Well, I think it's practical based on the fact that it provides a good background for any job. And yeah, it got me a job...so, practical, correct?

 

And I responded that it qualifies you for more non-technical positions.

[kaylan]

I don't need the studies, as it would be silly to try and dispute them. What I have been disputing is this assumption that college = brains. It really only takes average intelligence to complete most degrees, and I met plenty of morons while I was in school. With curved tests, failing grades still pass and even get Cs and Bs.

But as I said, most of the time college will equal brains. Theres a way, way greater proportion of brainiacs with degrees then without. Thats my point.

 

Most people are average btw. The fact is that people without degrees dont usually reach average income levels or make the average scores on tests. Hence why they drop out or never even go to school. Completing school is not as easy as some people want to make it.

 

It depends on what level you are studying(A.S., B.S., or M.S.), what major(s) you have and the teachers you have.

 

And I have B.S. in International Business with a concentration in Finance. My minor was Political Science and Ill be back in Uni fall 2012 to start my MBA with a concentration in International Business.

[bean1]

I'm reading so much about money, money, money, "status", finances, income, "educated", etc. Clearly you have a preference but don't be too quick to toss aside women who value staying at home/family more than a career. You seem to be very into the idea of a happy higher-finance household running like clock work with a grandmother/nanny and nice things, but the stress of the mother working while up all night tending to a baby/toddler (babies can take up to two years to sleep through the night), fighting over who has to do chores, getting takeout or rice-a-roni because you're too tired to cook, is a lot more of a reality.

 

This I know, I tried it myself It was horrible. We cut out my $80k/year salary, I stay home, and life is a lot more fun and there is so much less stress. Sometimes the money is simply not worth it.

 

I'm not trying to change your mind, I'm simply saying be more open to talking with a girl of "lesser status" (ick I don't like that)

[InJest]

So, other than just having the degree, how specifically has your degree helped you in your career? Would you say that you learned most of what you do at work, while on the job, or did you learn most of it in school?

 

All the heavy lifting in finance(and business nowadays too) is done by computers(I was a derivatives programmer for a risk management firm on the trade floor of the NYSE, until I decided I hate NYC and a didn't want to continue helping the business folks that think their degree in basic math, basic reading, and basic business concepts makes them God's gift.) They made me laugh, but it got old quick, and I can smell them a mile away, which is how i pinned you.

[InJest]

I'm not trying to change your mind, I'm simply saying be more open to talking with a girl of "lesser status" (ick I don't like that)

 

 

+1 million.

[Wolf18]

I'm reading so much about money, money, money, "status", finances, income, "educated", etc. Clearly you have a preference but don't be too quick to toss aside women who value staying at home/family more than a career. You seem to be very into the idea of a happy higher-finance household running like clock work with a grandmother/nanny and nice things, but the stress of the mother working while up all night tending to a baby/toddler (babies can take up to two years to sleep through the night), fighting over who has to do chores, getting takeout or rice-a-roni because you're too tired to cook, is a lot more of a reality.

 

This I know, I tried it myself It was horrible. We cut out my $80k/year salary, I stay home, and life is a lot more fun and there is so much less stress. Sometimes the money is simply not worth it.

 

I'm not trying to change your mind, I'm simply saying be more open to talking with a girl of "lesser status" (ick I don't like that)

 

 

Thank you bean1.

 

People like Kaylan, and the entire establishment actually, are trying to pass off their ideas of life as liberating, when really it's about hording as much money as possible for no real worthwhile reason (unless your only reason to live is to buy crap, instead of a loving family life where kids aren't raised by the TV).

 

Only people who benefit from this system are big capitalists that can make 2 people in 2011 work for the price of 1 in 1951.

[kaylan]

I'm reading so much about money, money, money, "status", finances, income, "educated", etc. Clearly you have a preference but don't be too quick to toss aside women who value staying at home/family more than a career. You seem to be very into the idea of a happy higher-finance household running like clock work with a grandmother/nanny and nice things, but the stress of the mother working while up all night tending to a baby/toddler (babies can take up to two years to sleep through the night), fighting over who has to do chores, getting takeout or rice-a-roni because you're too tired to cook, is a lot more of a reality.

 

This I know, I tried it myself It was horrible. We cut out my $80k/year salary, I stay home, and life is a lot more fun and there is so much less stress. Sometimes the money is simply not worth it.

 

I'm not trying to change your mind, I'm simply saying be more open to talking with a girl of "lesser status" (ick I don't like that)

It works for your husband. Not for me. Im attracted to ambitious independent women. I dont want to marry a woman who expects me to take care of her. I already plan to take care of my mother when she retires. And I want that to be soon since she has bad knees. I think women have more potential then the old school stay at home gig. But if that works for you cool.

 

It wouldnt work for me though. Im just very attracted to the mindset of a career minded gal. Plus i have lived in a one income household and it isnt the most stable thing and I do not want that for my family either. God forbid in the future when I start a family that theres another recession and I lose my job....then what? A girl that accurate plans for the future in all facets, is whats attractive to me.

 

Money and education is how people support themselves, so dont try to minimize its importance.

 

There will be no fighting over who does what in my house. Its a partnership. We will take turns feeding the kid and cleaning the house and everything else. I made the child and am gonna help as much as I can.

 

So, other than just having the degree, how specifically has your degree helped you in your career? Would you say that you learned most of what you do at work, while on the job, or did you learn most of it in school?

 

All the heavy lifting in finance(and business nowadays too) is done by computers(I was a derivatives programmer for a risk management firm on the trade floor of the NYSE, until I decided I hate NYC and a didn't want to continue helping the business folks that think their degree in basic math, basic reading, and basic business concepts makes them God's gift.) They made me laugh, but it got old quick, and I can smell them a mile away, which is how i pinned you.

What do you mean other than having a degree? You learn many things about international business and finance while in school. You have to take into account things like cultural barriers, different tax zones and regulations, regional partnerships by different entities, etc. Computers do NOT do everything.

 

If doing business work was so easy, then anyone without a degree could do it. It seems you have an inferiority complex since you didnt get a degree. You forget that your field doesnt require you to get a formal education, while many others do...and its almost necessary in many fields to go to school to know how to handle things. Especially when internships are involved. College is way more valuable than not. Thats the way it is.

 

And Im not trying to do a typical NYSE job...some of those guys dont need formal training but do need years of experience and internships to maintain their place.

 

Im someone whos after middle and upper management/executive positions abroad. Actually managing a large workforce and maintaining synergy between people of various backgrounds while producing profitable results.

Edited December 22, 2011 by kaylan

[lululucy]

I'm reading so much about money, money, money, "status", finances, income, "educated", etc. Clearly you have a preference but don't be too quick to toss aside women who value staying at home/family more than a career. You seem to be very into the idea of a happy higher-finance household running like clock work with a grandmother/nanny and nice things, but the stress of the mother working while up all night tending to a baby/toddler (babies can take up to two years to sleep through the night), fighting over who has to do chores, getting takeout or rice-a-roni because you're too tired to cook, is a lot more of a reality.

 

This I know, I tried it myself It was horrible. We cut out my $80k/year salary, I stay home, and life is a lot more fun and there is so much less stress. Sometimes the money is simply not worth it.

 

I'm not trying to change your mind, I'm simply saying be more open to talking with a girl of "lesser status" (ick I don't like that)

 

 

I think there's a big difference between giving up your career to care for your children and looking for a man to take care of you because you didn't want a career at all. You and your husband tried doing it with both of you working, it didn't work, so you made a change. That's completely different from a girl reluctant to get a career or education because all she wants out of life is to be a mom. There's nothing wrong with you being a stay-at-home if that's what you want, but even you are talking about going back to work once your kids are school-age. You are not an unmotivated, unambitious woman, you simply made choices that benefited your family as a whole.

[bean1]

Well, I'm just saying be careful There are plenty of women in this world who will put a career and finances ahead of their husband and child(ren). Be very, very wary of them. "Ambitious" and "independent" are not exclusive to career women. One does not need a BA or job title to be ambitious or independent. I WAS a career woman. I made a good salary.

 

But career women can also change - they may realize, after having their children, that their family means more and lose interest in their careers. A lot of us do. I know, when childless and after university, I never thought I would change my opinion. But I did. Maternal instinct is strong. If a woman is happy to put her baby into someone else's arms at 6 weeks and go back to work full-time... well... imo, that's a red flag. Most women who do that tend to be miserable about it. It doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel natural. When they are 5, 10 years old, sure whatever. They are old enough to clean their own rooms.

 

I guess my point is this - the perfect wife/mom/career independent/super woman is a bit of a myth. Something's got to give.

 

There is an old joke on the Simpsons, when Marge Simpson's baby book burns into dust. She says, "Oh no! My children's baby book! That's what a resume is to a man!" <- and it's not completely untrue. If you want a dedicated wife and mother, you might want to be prepared for the reality that she isn't going to be the business/lawyer powerhouse. It's awfully hard to sit & watch Disney with your babies or feed them all night long when you are too busy dealing with clients reports.

 

I guess I don't understand the perspective of people who choose to have children but value careers/finances more than being there to raise their own children when they have the choice.

[bean1]

I think there's a big difference between giving up your career to care for your children and looking for a man to take care of you because you didn't want a career at all. You and your husband tried doing it with both of you working, it didn't work, so you made a change. That's completely different from a girl reluctant to get a career or education because all she wants out of life is to be a mom. There's nothing wrong with you being a stay-at-home if that's what you want, but even you are talking about going back to work once your kids are school-age. You are not an unmotivated, unambitious woman, you simply made choices that benefited your family as a whole.

 

I agree, and a woman who is looking to sit on her ass for 20 years is simply not what the OP is interested in, but it sounds like he would completely exclude/eliminate a woman who would make the choice to be a stay at home mother when the time comes. A career woman may change her attitude when she has her kids - many of them do. I spend a lot of time on a parenting forum and very few of those women WANT to work, in fact it kills them to leave their kids, even if career is all they valued before. Once you become a mother, the money/"status" of career doesn't have the same value.

[kaylan]

I think there's a big difference between giving up your career to care for your children and looking for a man to take care of you because you didn't want a career at all. You and your husband tried doing it with both of you working, it didn't work, so you made a change. That's completely different from a girl reluctant to get a career or education because all she wants out of life is to be a mom. There's nothing wrong with you being a stay-at-home if that's what you want, but even you are talking about going back to work once your kids are school-age. You are not an unmotivated, unambitious woman, you simply made choices that benefited your family as a whole.

I agree with this entirely.

 

Plus theres no reason why you cannot make progress in your career and raise your kids properly. My mom did it, and she and my dad were separated since I was 1.

 

And let me add, I have no problem if my gal wants to take several months to a year off to take care of a new born. As long as we can be financially sound during that time. However, its very different from taking off 5 years until they hit kindergarten. The idea of someone wanting to stay home all day every day for that long is a red flag to me. I have Paternal instincts and instincts to be a good husband, but it doesnt mean I feel I need to stay home and not make the loot my family will need to maintain our household.

Edited December 22, 2011 by kaylan

[snug.bunny]

OP you make some very valid points, but, it comes across as a bit controlling to have already predetermine who will do what in your family. Some of the things you've mentioned (who will watch the children, who will do which chores, so on and so forth) are generally reserved, discussed and agreed upon between two people, as a couple.

 

When you come across someone you like, you can date and decide if you like each other enough to move things along to relationship territory, or maybe it will just naturally evolve on its own, and then you can both work out all the kinks together. Sound good?

 

Eeeeeeesh!