Author you_can_not_see_me Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 I don't even know if you can be so sure she told her boyfriend. She could have just said that so that you would leave her the eff alone. You asked. She rejected. The e-mail takes it to a borderline creepy level. She could have just said that thing about the boyfriend so that she could be sure you would back off. Were you guys even friends before this? It is what it is. She isn't interested. Let it go. Oh please. How do we really know the bf was a hot head. Shes merely just telling him that so he will go away. She doesnt want to be friends so shes giving you a reason to buzz off OP. If I was the girls bf I would laugh and call OP a loser. Id simply say to my girl "lol, thats nice...tell him to find his own woman" And when she says he wants to be friends Id say "riiiight...sure lol...well tell him he can either buzz off or come out with the gang the next time we all chill, since he just wants to be friends" Simple. you guys are taking this thread way too personally, you can see that right? I was classmates with this girl, she approached to talk with me and me her a few times. at the time I thought she was interested, but in retrospect It would seem like she was more interested in becoming friends, cause obviously she had a boyfriend. and that is the reason upon which I choose to consider being friends with her, cause she was willing to be friends before I became direct about asking her out! if the whole Idea pains you guys so badly and you have to advocate for this girl, well that is your choice!
Mrlonelyone Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 @YCNSM Don't mind that. The knee jerk reaction to a rejected male on this board seems to be to kick him. You did the rite thing. Trying to make sure that when you see each other in class or around school it would not have to be awkward. She did the wrong thing. I mean what are you supposed to do now? Avert your eyes when she walks by like she's the queen of England? Let me tell you, not only is this woman saying she does not want to be friends. She is also showing a really ugly side which you should not want to be friends with. Pointedly ignore her @$$ from now on.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 First of all, whatever she tells her bf is her business and you hace no right to overreact or be upset. Second, don't be so naive to think that you can be friends with every girl or hy . If she rejected you, you walk away. You do not email them and certainly not give them an "option" it makes you come off desperate and tacky. explain to me how exactly have I overreacted, I am not the one who needed time to cool down as she put it! also what you think is desperate is not my concern, I did what I thought was right and I have no shame or regret about what I did, I did not bring myself down in anyway.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 (edited) explain to me how exactly have I overreacted, I am not the one who needed time to cool down as she put it! also what you think is desperate is not my concern, I did what I thought was right and I have no shame or regret about what I did, I did not bring myself down in anyway. I'm basing my response on what you wrote, your overreaction stemming from your emphasis that you feel you can no longer show your face on campus. Whatever. If you are truly nonchalant about the whole thing, walk away. Plently more girls to befriend. Edited December 21, 2011 by xpaperxcutx
Pizzaman81 Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 yeah so I tried asking out this girl a while back and she told me that she has a boyfriend. I said ok, I understand. And this is when you should have put on the thinking cap and stepped on the brakes.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Nobody was at fault here except her boyfriend. This is absurd. The boyfriend was the one least at-fault. "You Can Not See Me" is at fault for being incapable of manning-up to a bunch of anonymous people on the internet in the way of the only reason (heterosexual) men have any interest in being mere "friends" with women (to whom they are not related, don't work with, or didn't acquire through familial connections) is for those males envisioning themselves as being in line to get into the womens' pants. The girlfriend played by the book the whole way. She maintained this "friendship" until it revealed itself for what it really was, and then she 86'ed it when (and we quote) it "made her boyfriend uncomfortable". Women have no problem doing the "friends with guys" thing, but those guys are, in turn, always there for one reason. Once the O.P. has succeeded in freaking the woman out irreparably, as is the case here, then he should exit stage left.
lululucy Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 This is absurd. The boyfriend was the one least at-fault. "You Can Not See Me" is at fault for being incapable of manning-up to a bunch of anonymous people on the internet in the way of the only reason (heterosexual) men have any interest in being mere "friends" with women (to whom they are not related, don't work with, or didn't acquire through familial connections) is for those males envisioning themselves as being in line to get into the womens' pants. The girlfriend played by the book the whole way. She maintained this "friendship" until it revealed itself for what it really was, and then she 86'ed it when (and we quote) it "made her boyfriend uncomfortable". Women have no problem doing the "friends with guys" thing, but those guys are, in turn, always there for one reason. Once the O.P. has succeeded in freaking the woman out irreparably, as is the case here, then he should exit stage left. Exactly. If he had her email, it was probably for something school related and should have been kept that way. OP made this situation uncomfortable for himself and worsened it by not just saying "Okay, thanks anyway" when she rejected him -- if he'd acted as if nothing was wrong, there would have been no uncomfortable situation if he ran into her in class. By writing the email, he made it uncomfortable. Why should she have to take the out YOU gave her when she has a better one? I guarantee you the BF is either unaware or does not give a sh-t about you asking her out. If he did, he would have emailed you himself saying leave my girlfriend alone. I don't get why it's so hard for you to understand where you messed up.
ShannonMI Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 So nobody but me thinks this chick wants her man to know other men want and desire her? There are girls that do these things. Maybe things at home have gotten stale and she wants to spark a little jealousy to get her man to pay attention to her. Not that hard to imagine, is it?
ZimboGon Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Your like this prick i know. He came after my ex, and i sat him down and talked to him. He would start texting her things like, "I know you love your boyfriend and want to be with him but i also like you" and "be with whoever you want beautiful" Needless to say that doesn't make me happy at all...
Wolf18 Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 So nobody but me thinks this chick wants her man to know other men want and desire her? There are girls that do these things. Maybe things at home have gotten stale and she wants to spark a little jealousy to get her man to pay attention to her. Not that hard to imagine, is it? I do, but it's an icky politically incorrect thing to say. You see, in order for people who do this not to get offended, we have to bury our heads in sand and pretend humans are not capable of such acts. Often times when a womans boyfriend loses interest/enthusiasm, women will find some poor sap to lead/string along to make their BF or whatever jealous. Some woman actually saved her marriage by doing that to me. Of course what they later find out, is that when the guy they're stringing along gets bored and stops chasing, their boyfriend will go back to ignoring them.
lululucy Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 So nobody but me thinks this chick wants her man to know other men want and desire her? There are girls that do these things. Maybe things at home have gotten stale and she wants to spark a little jealousy to get her man to pay attention to her. Not that hard to imagine, is it? No, I think there are tons of girls who do that crap. Especially insecure girls who want validation from their man. I don't think in this case that's the situation though, I think it was just an easy name-drop to get the OP to back off for good. "We can't be friends cause my boyfriend is mad" is a really easy line to feed someone and difficult for the OP to argue with. If she'd said "I feel uncomfortable being friends" I would hazard a guess that the OP would've felt it necessary to send her back a BUT WHY message, whereas the bf thing invites less questions.
ShannonMI Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 I do, but it's an icky politically incorrect thing to say. You see, in order for people who do this not to get offended, we have to bury our heads in sand and pretend humans are not capable of such acts. Often times when a womans boyfriend loses interest/enthusiasm, women will find some poor sap to lead/string along to make their BF or whatever jealous. Some woman actually saved her marriage by doing that to me. Of course what they later find out, is that when the guy they're stringing along gets bored and stops chasing, their boyfriend will go back to ignoring them. Yes thank you. It f*cking happens all the time. It's game playing and it's ridiculous. Not saying this is the case with OP's situation, but it very well could be. I honestly think he just wants to be friends with this girl and doesn't want to break up her relationship. Not everyone likes being a f*cking home wrecker. For her to tell her bf about it was just stupid. My guess is she wants him to be jealous and say "you're my woman and I'll kick that dude's ass if he comes near you." That makes her feel good. It makes her feel like her man really loves and wants her and would even kick someone's ass to prove it. And I bet the bf said something along those lines because the girl said he had to "cool down" after she told him. It's all a game, I'm sure.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 Your like this prick i know. He came after my ex, and i sat him down and talked to him. He would start texting her things like, "I know you love your boyfriend and want to be with him but i also like you" and "be with whoever you want beautiful" Needless to say that doesn't make me happy at all... so just cause your experience was like that, means my case is the same.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 If she'd said "I feel uncomfortable being friends" I would hazard a guess that the OP would've felt it necessary to send her back a BUT WHY message, whereas the bf thing invites less questions. that is where you are wrong, in my email I plainly said that if she wasn't feeling this whole thing, she could say so and I would be ok with it. so no I would not email her saying WHY!
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 Yes thank you. It f*cking happens all the time. It's game playing and it's ridiculous. Not saying this is the case with OP's situation, but it very well could be. I honestly think he just wants to be friends with this girl and doesn't want to break up her relationship. Not everyone likes being a f*cking home wrecker. For her to tell her bf about it was just stupid. My guess is she wants him to be jealous and say "you're my woman and I'll kick that dude's ass if he comes near you." That makes her feel good. It makes her feel like her man really loves and wants her and would even kick someone's ass to prove it. And I bet the bf said something along those lines because the girl said he had to "cool down" after she told him. It's all a game, I'm sure. jokes on her I am already done with this ****, she has to find another guy for her little games.
lululucy Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 that is where you are wrong, in my email I plainly said that if she wasn't feeling this whole thing, she could say so and I would be ok with it. so no I would not email her saying WHY! But why was it necessary to send her an email in the first place? It was out of place and didn't have to happen. Thus, it's reasonable for her to infer that you would send another inappropriate email in return if she said something that begged more questions than it answered.
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