usabup Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 So this board helped me a lot when I was going through my break up. I thought I would give you all a little update from someone who has come out of the other side... When my ex and I seperated in March, I had hit rock bottom. It was a terrible break up and I honestly couldn't see myself coming out of the black hole I had fallen into. She went NC on me pretty much straight away so she could heal. The first few months were terrible. I thought about her 24\7, I had no motivation to work or socialise, life seemed about as black as it could get. But it slowly improved. I started concentrating on work, I through myself into a sports team, I went out drinking with the lads. Then I started dating again. It was tough at first, but it got easier. Things really started improving for me around Sep\Oct time. I started to think of her less and let myself be happy again. And the happier I became, the more attractive I started to become to women. Before I knew it, I was letting myself enjoy other womens company and started slowly to find myself attracted to other girls. All this seemed impossible just a few months before. In the last couple of months I have found this amazing women. I wasn't looking for anything serious, it just happened naturally at work. And I'm happy again. Really happy. As for my ex, well, I have no idea how her life is shaping up. I will be honest, I have gone from thinking of her 24\7 to hardly at all. I don't wish her any bad and there are no hard feelings towards her at all. I hope she is doing well infact. If I saw her now, I would be fine. If she has no interest in me, I'm fine with that too. The thought of her dosnt stir any emotion in me anymore. With regards to NC, from my experience, I think low contact would have helped me heal quicker. Her going NC made me panic and I personally didn't think it was an adult way to act after sharing a life with someone. But I respect she did it for her reasons. I don't think the NC rule should be applied to every break up. I think each circumstance is different and I think it depends of what kind of break up it was and how strong emotionally each person is. Just bare that in mind. Anyway I hope you are all doing well and just remember that however bad things seem now, they do get better. A break up never killed anybody!
Teuen101 Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 good job bro...gives me hope i can do the same...i hope to get her our of my mind asap ! and just be happy !
BoredAgain Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Congrats on the new relationship. There's a good lesson here: don't underestimate your ability to heal from a breakup.
radiodarcy Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 usabup, that's great news! yes NC can be unbearably difficult for - - quite awhile. but things tend to get worse before they get better. but if you stick to it (as you have done) you will come through it stronger and more confident than before
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