Is this okay to text?

[Chs]

So, i have been broken up with my ex for a little over 2 months now.

In the time after our break up i told her often that i missed her and she knew i wanted her back. Now after she has been kissing some other guy and stuff we went no contact for some time, which is only fair to both of us so we could figure it all out on our own.

 

Anyways, today is my birthday and im sitting here feeling a little down. She sent me a very nice birthday message, and i can't help but still feel alot for her.

 

So here is the deal, we met last new years eve and fell in love right away.

We had a special trip planned for the second january this year, and i want to wish her a happy new year and say thanks for the times we had. But i want to tell her a last time that i still miss her, and ask her if she wants to go with me anyways, and that i will fully respect if she doesen't.

 

But i don't know if i can do this to her, it might be too emotional and i don't want to mess up her night. What should i do?

[Chi townD]

Let it go dude...just let it go! If you want to send anything, just send thanks (for the birthday message) and nothing more, then back to NC.

[Melrapuo]

Hey Chs,

 

Ok, so just a quick question - why did you two separate?

 

I don't think it would be the greatest idea to message her. Lets say you sent her a "thanks!" even. Would the fact that she possibly doesn't respond again make you feel horrible? That may set you back a bit in terms of recovery.

 

For the vacation bit? Inviting her might not be a good idea at all. Just another possible let down that will only hurt you more.

 

More of this requires knowing why you two broke up in the first place. That, and the fact that she has made out with someone else doesn't bode well for messaging being a good idea.

[Chs]

Well we broke up because we had some reocurring problems and we were bad at talking about it, we always made up straight away instead of dealing with it so in the end it got too much.

I think this is mostly because both of us have only had really short relationships (like two months at best) before each other, and no former experience with something this serious.

 

I know that her making out with others isn't a good sign, but i did the same last weekend and it didn't change my feelings at all. We are both used to having alot of guys/girls around and im flirting with many girls myself.

But i know many of her good friends and they still tell me she was very hurt and still has some feelings for me.

 

She has never ignored a message from me, and im sure she wouldn't do it this time either. But of course im unsure about how she would react.

Im just being confused, because she came up to me and hugged me last weekend at the club, and now she send me this really touching message with sweet words and hearts etc.

 

I just don't know what to do, it's hard for me to just let go when i still want her this badly. Im used to fighting for what i want and i feel i would have an easier time letting go if i gave it a last shot, and then move on from new years if i have to.

[Melrapuo]

You have to ask yourself if you would be able to handle the worst by talking to her and being open. If she shoots you down, would you be able to handle it? If not, then NC is the way to go. If she wanted you back, she'd ask for you back. Chances are you'll only hear something you don't want to hear.

 

I've been down this road with previous ex's before. They say the miss you, and how great you are. But they don't say what you want to hear. I asked for second chances, didn't get any. I'd sleep on the idea for a couple days, but at the moment I wouldn't contact her if I were you.

[twinkles]

Go ahead and reply..Just say.. thanks for the birthday wish it warms my heart that you remembered:)

that's all

[Chs]

I texted her today instead, saw her drive by in a car and she smiled and waved at me. It was our last day of school so i just texted her:

"That was the first time i have seen you driving, looking good ;-) have a nice christmas!"

 

She replied with "haha, you are so sweet ;-) you too!" and i was content with that.

 

Went to the gym, had a nice day, and finished off by going clubbing with the guys.

I had a really nice time and all, until something happened.

This guy who was constantly hitting on her during our relationship (they are colleagues) ran into my best friend and they were on the edge of getting in a fight. This guy was just laughing, and seeing he had many of his friends there i obviously backed my friend up. Nothing really happened but later on (just now) i met him and his friend at the taxi place. We talked alot of ****, and i just can't shake the thought of how much i hate him.

 

I just got home and i feel so hopeless. Arguing with a guy from the past, letting him ruin my night! And the thought of him still being a part of her life while i am just on the sideline is killing me. I have never felt so useless or worthless before. I just wander around living in the past while she has long moved on, and it's tearing me apart.

 

I want to move away from this ****ty town, i want to get away from all her friends that always come up to me asking if im the ex, i can't handle looking at her in school anymore and i can't ****ing handle all these people reminding me of the past. I would do anything to get a new life, but im stuck in this ****hole until summer

[Eddie Edirol]

If youre still flirting with women, you need to put more of your mental energy into that rather than your ex. You can surely find a woman who is better for you.

 

Dont send any messages to her, it wont make her feel anything, especially since she already moved on. You just have to resist your urges to contact her and realize it wont change her mind, or even make her think about all your good times. Right now, she only remembers what she lost her attraction to you, and everytime you contact her, you remind her of that.

 

Thats why everyone keeps saying to move on, its your only option. Put your energy into new women. Trust me, there will be another one who fits you better than this one. One who makes it a priority to communicate with you.

[Chs]

Update:

Decided i wouldn't text her anything about missing her and wanting her back. But i did text her christmas eve to say merry christmas only, she replied back and it was fine.

 

Today i went to the club with my boys, as it's the most busy day of the year around here. I flirted with girls and had a lot of fun.

But then i saw my ex walking around with a guy, buying her drinks and stuff. I tired all i could not to look and ignore it, but i couldn't help but look just quickly.

 

Then later on she comes up to me telling me "hey i saw you looking, but it's just my cousin who came home for christmas dont worry" and we contiued talking for maybe 5 minutes before one of the boys told me they had called a taxi. She told me she was on the way home too and we said goodbye, but maybe an hour later she texted me "it was nice seeing you!"

 

Does this mean ANYTHING?

[blotter]

It probably means your about to let her take advantage of you.