counterman Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I agree that it's good to get a woman's perspective on somethings. I've found, in my experience, the more experienced guys give the best dating advice. My friends who have had little to no experience generally do not provide any advice and I wish I had a more experienced friend who I could talk about dating with; I'm the most experienced out of my 'group' and my experience has been very limited. However, I have a few friends who recently got into their first and only relationship and think they know everything and start offering advice without anyone even asking; most of the things one of my friends says is a load of crap anyways, which I posted a thread about and it was unanimously agreed that he didn't know what he was on about. Back in high school, I use to live off the advice from girls. And it got me nowhere. I had a crush on this girl and started asking advice from her girls friends. I took their word to heart and when that girl I had a crush on said 'let's just be friends', I was gutted. Her friends started making up excuses for her but bottom line is, the advice they were telling me made me a doormat. It was only when I started taking advice from people on this forum that I started becoming more confident in dating and more successful. I also learnt a lot of other things about break-ups, lifestyles and, most importantly, self-improvement The best advice I would say is from those who have 'been there and done that', who can share what they experienced and how they overcame any difficulties. I would say I'm in a position where I can offer advice or at least a perspective to those who have little to no experience in dating, as I had to overcome approach anxiety, self-confidence issues myself. I actually have this one friend who keeps trying to get information out of me about dating. The funny thing with pride is he kept bagging me out before about approaching girls and asking them out on dates, and kept saying I was looking for a one-night stand. He chose to take advice (and to keep taking advice) from a couple of my girl friends who gave him 'be very nice to her, be a good friend and she'll like you, always be there for her' advice. He's had no experience and now continues to have none after taking their advice (the girl who he had his sights on was a friend of his for a couple of years; she thought he was needy). Now, instead of asking me for my perspective straight up, which I would have given him a honest answer to, he tries to ask me little niggling questions about what I say, how I say it, etc. In the past when I told guys what they should do step-by-step, they never followed it or even taken it with a grain of salt and some even say 'how about you do it and show me first' and keep making excuses before even trying, some have gone as far as to slam me for it because of their own insecurities, especially when I suggest approaching girls. To those guys, whether advice from women or not, doesn't matter, they've already failed. If you're truly seeking advice, you're looking for some perspective, some ideas that would help you perform an action... you don't have the action in mind already and slam others whose experience and suggestions you don't agree with (that don't agree with you). I hope that makes sense. I feel sorry for these guys because they'll never learn. Advice from men or women shouldn't be taken in as a saviour to our problems. With these particular guys, who are taking advice from these girls and only these girls, I fear they'll just be stuck in the friendzone with every girl they meet.
Taramere Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I've been meaning to post on this subject. The other week while I was out, I got hit on by a gorgeous 18 year old girl. I'm not even male or gay, and without even trying I can achieve what you guys spend hours angsting over. If you want to know The Secret, I will accept Visa, Mastercard, American Express and Paypal. Thanks.
Els Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Well, see, this works both ways. If men feel that women do not generally give good advice to men about what women want, then those same men cannot say that women should listen to them about what men want. I see this all the time - men who claim that they are the Ultimate Power and omniscient god of what All Men Want because they themselves are men.. and then those same men also claim that they are the Ultimate Power and omniscient god of what All Women Want because 'women don't know what they themselves want'. Err, sorry, that isn't the claim of a wise or knowledgeable person, that's the claim of an arrogant narcissist. Personally, I believe that we are all humans first and men or women second, and that we are all different enough to be able to present valuable viewpoints to one another about life and relationships, regardless of gender. I have found that both men and women have given me good advice about my R on this forum. Similarly, there have also been men who have thanked me for my advice or found my viewpoints insightful. The best people to seek advice from are both men and women.
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I've been meaning to post on this subject. The other week while I was out, I got hit on by a gorgeous 18 year old girl. I'm not even male or gay, and without even trying I can achieve what you guys spend hours angsting over. If you want to know The Secret, I will accept Visa, Mastercard, American Express and Paypal. Thanks. Uh, I've been hit on by gorgeous 18 year olds too. Hell, I've been hit on by gorgeous 40 yr olds while their wedding ring sparkles in my eyes. What's the big deal?
jobaba Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Let's put it this way, any woman who claims to have never attention whored or claims to not know any other women who attention whore's is either a shut-in, delusional, an attention whore herself, or from an alternate reality & therefore reject any advice on women she gives. Following this rule has never led me astray. I've decided attention whoring (flirting, charming, and drawing a guy in to you who you have no romantic interest in) is the female of equivalent of a man having sex with a girl he has no interest in and then dumping her.
Taramere Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Uh, I've been hit on by gorgeous 18 year olds too. Hell, I've been hit on by gorgeous 40 yr olds while their wedding ring sparkles in my eyes. What's the big deal? When I said she hit on me, I meant she attempted to seduce me....not "the diamonds in her wedding ring temporarily blinded me as her fist flew towards my face."
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I've decided attention whoring (flirting, charming, and drawing a guy in to you who you have no romantic interest in) is the female of equivalent of a man having sex with a girl he has no interest in and then dumping her. Not quite, though I see the correlation. For centuries, western cultures have valued the "feminine" qualities of being captivating, coquettish, alluring, flirtatious, in a general sense - I mean, not directed at the target of a specific male a woman was romantically interested in. In the not very distant past, girls and women who were good at all those things were the subject of admiration. I don't think the typical man felt "gypped" when they "fell for it" and ended up not "winning" the woman. As long as the woman maintained the boundaries (like sexual chastity and things like not accepting "inappropriate" gifts from suitors) imposed by society, being very alluring to men was not considered on a par with using a person and then dumping them. I'm older than most of you, but I remember perfectly how, when I was growing up, I was in awe of girls who were popular with boys and how much I wanted to have that myself. Being popular with boys and knowing how to flirt were NOT considered "whorish" in any way. Sure, there were ways to be whorish, even when we were young adolescents, but being the center of attention among guys was not one of them. Being beautiful and sexy are valued traits for girls and women still. Attention from boys and men confirms that one has these traits. Yes, I know times have changed, but not completely.
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 When I said she hit on me, I meant she attempted to seduce me....not "the diamonds in her wedding ring temporarily blinded me as her fist flew towards my face." Not only are you bitter, you're also full of yourself. I'll admit I find your posts witty because you are so delusional it makes me laugh. You overlook the fact that bisexuality is the new fad amongst women these days. I graduated high school in 2003, but even then it wasn't hard to meet an 18 yr old who got sexual with another woman. You act as if it's hard to meet a bisexual woman. It's not at all hard. Women dyke out all the time. She was most likely going to dyke out with you then leave you for a man soon afterward, which is what most bisexual women do.
Taramere Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Not only are you bitter, you're also full of yourself. I'll admit I find your posts witty because you are so delusional it makes me laugh.. Well that's no small achievement. I hope your face didn't break into pieces with the strain.
Author Dust Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 I've been meaning to post on this subject. The other week while I was out, I got hit on by a gorgeous 18 year old girl. I'm not even male or gay, and without even trying I can achieve what you guys spend hours angsting over. If you want to know The Secret, I will accept Visa, Mastercard, American Express and Paypal. Thanks. Women are always less threatned by other women. So it easier for you to be aproached etc. Most of the guys who angsting wouldn't even recognize they were being hit on and would run away and come post on here wondering what they should have done when a naked women fell into their lap.
jobaba Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Not quite, though I see the correlation. For centuries, western cultures have valued the "feminine" qualities of being captivating, coquettish, alluring, flirtatious, in a general sense - I mean, not directed at the target of a specific male a woman was romantically interested in. In the not very distant past, girls and women who were good at all those things were the subject of admiration. I don't think the typical man felt "gypped" when they "fell for it" and ended up not "winning" the woman. As long as the woman maintained the boundaries (like sexual chastity and things like not accepting "inappropriate" gifts from suitors) imposed by society, being very alluring to men was not considered on a par with using a person and then dumping them. I'm older than most of you, but I remember perfectly how, when I was growing up, I was in awe of girls who were popular with boys and how much I wanted to have that myself. Being popular with boys and knowing how to flirt were NOT considered "whorish" in any way. Sure, there were ways to be whorish, even when we were young adolescents, but being the center of attention among guys was not one of them. Being beautiful and sexy are valued traits for girls and women still. Attention from boys and men confirms that one has these traits. Yes, I know times have changed, but not completely. And men are programmed to have sex with anything that moves. The point is, if you 'conned' into having sex with a man who dumps you the second after that's your own fault. And if you get conned by a woman who is only after attention or to prove to herself that she can get you to fall for her, that's your own fault too.
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I'm older than most of you, but I remember perfectly how, when I was growing up, I was in awe of girls who were popular with boys and how much I wanted to have that myself. Being popular with boys and knowing how to flirt were NOT considered "whorish" in any way. Sure, there were ways to be whorish, even when we were young adolescents, but being the center of attention among guys was not one of them. Wow. That's different than what I've heard from my older relatives like my mom, aunts, uncles, and older cousins. My mom attended high school in the late 60s. She said women with too much attention from men were considered whores back then, mainly from jealous women. Well that's no small achievement. I hope your face didn't break into pieces with the strain. My face has already broken out into pieces years ago. I'm so ugly I make Quasimodo look like Paul Newman.
lululucy Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Women are always less threatned by other women. So it easier for you to be aproached etc. Most of the guys who angsting wouldn't even recognize they were being hit on and would run away and come post on here wondering what they should have done when a naked women fell into their lap. I tend to disagree with your first statement -- I have a lot of gay friends who actually find it incredibly difficult to hit on women in public and tend to become friends with potential partners first, sometimes for months, before making a move. The stigma with being gay hasn't gone away entirely and a man approaching a woman for a date at the mall won't be as shocking as a woman appoaching a woman for a date in the same locale. Definitely agree with the second part.. haha As for the OP, I think cahill has it right. I ask men when I specifically want a man's perspective on an action or inaction in a relationship. I ask everyone when I just want general advice. I don't listen more or less to a certain gender but I could understand men not looking for pick-up tips from women because women tend to idealise. HOWEVER I would highly suggest men not listen to many of the LS-posters on here claiming to be PUA's or just exceptionally skilled because from the way they talk, there's no way in hell they've seen boobs they haven't paid to see.
Taramere Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 My face has already broken out into pieces years ago. I'm so ugly I make Quasimodo look like Paul Newman. Don't be so hard on yourself....though Paul Newman's been dead for long enough for that comparison to probably be quite accurate
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Don't be so hard on yourself....though Paul Newman's been dead for long enough for that comparison to probably be quite accurate OMG, you are on a roll, woman! I mean, you bitter hag, you!
somedude81 Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 There are some very important things to consider when taking advice, who the advice giver is and what advice they are actually giving. Advice from a tall good looking guy telling me to be rude is just as irrelevant as getting advice from a woman telling me to be a gentleman and buy her things.
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I've been meaning to post on this subject. The other week while I was out, I got hit on by a gorgeous 18 year old girl. I'm not even male or gay, and without even trying I can achieve what you guys spend hours angsting over. If you want to know The Secret, I will accept Visa, Mastercard, American Express and Paypal. Thanks. Women are always less threatned by other women. So it easier for you to be aproached etc. Most of the guys who angsting wouldn't even recognize they were being hit on and would run away and come post on here wondering what they should have done when a naked women fell into their lap. I think we overlooked the fact that our friend Taramere said she is (or was) a lesbian. Lesbians have a different definition of gorgeous than men (and most women). I've heard lesbians say Courtney Love and Kathy Griffith were gorgeous. I once knew a lesbian sophomore in college who said she was in love with her sociology professor. She described her as a "stunning". When I saw the professor she looked like Hilary Clinton. I'm sure the 18 yr old Taramere describes as gorgeous isn't really gorgeous. She probably looked like an 18 yr old version of Janet Reno.
Taramere Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 I think we overlooked the fact that our friend Taramere said she is (or was) a lesbian. Lesbians have a different definition of gorgeous than men (and most women). I've heard lesbians say Courtney Love and Kathy Griffith were gorgeous. I once knew a lesbian sophomore in college who said she was in love with her sociology professor. She described her as a "stunning". When I saw the professor she looked like Hilary Clinton. I'm sure the 18 yr old Taramere describes as gorgeous isn't really gorgeous. She probably looked like an 18 yr old version of Janet Reno. I'm not a lesbian...but if I had been, I'm sure I would have gone for it. She didn't look like Janet Reno (I just googled), and I'm pretty sure the men in that bar weren't thinking that either. I haven't heard any women, gay or straight, express the view that Courtney Love is gorgeous....but I'm sure she has her fans. If you pick up a copy of Vogue or Tatler, you'll get a picture of ideals of feminine beauty that are popular with women. They don't generally look like Janet Reno.
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Oh, darn. I'm bummed. If Taramere were actually a lesbian, I guess she wouldn't like me because I have put a lot of effort into looking like Janet Reno, so lesbians would like me. Even though I'm not a lesbian, I am a big attention whore. Men, lesbians, whatever, I just want them all to WANT ME.
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