Dust Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 I see it time and time again. Men looking for the female point of view like it’s the answer to all their dating woes. I don’t think there is anything wrong from getting dating advice from women if you are a man. What does bother me is when I see men who seem to think women have some special insight on how to fix problems with women. I think guys are preprogrammed to see the BS in other guys much better then women can. Not all this guys have this skill. I think guys are also better programmed to see the BS in other women better then most women can. Who gives better dating advice men or women? I don’t know. What I do know is I find it easier to relate to the advice given by guys. The I’ve been there done that kind of thing women can’t give unless they used to be a guy who dated women… The other day there was a poster on here college grad who has never been kissed. A girl told him to just go out to some social setting like a club and make out with a random girl. I thought this was awesome advice because from experience as a guy I know something like that would reinvigorate the OP who was a young twenty something guy who was on the verge of giving up on dating all together. Heck he wasn’t even posting about how he wanted to date he was just worried he may some day look back and be sad he never did or something like that. So, what am I trying to say with this ramble… Stop being that guy who comes one here only looking for women’s advice like its some how better because you’re not a woman there for once you know what they know you’ll have it all… doesn’t work that way. In fact the less of a women you are the better you’ll do with women…
thatone Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 especially considering they will get the opposite of good advice from a lot of those women. how many threads show up about "girl hot/cold after a couple of dates" and then he gets a couple of responses of women to the effect of "you should give her space and respect her pace and see if she comes back to you blah blah blah". which of course is bullsh*t. what that guy should do is screw her senseless when the opportunity presents itself because then she'll have sexual attachment to deal with and she'll be calling him, he won't have to call her. and they know it's bullsh*t, but it's what they would want in one of their own power struggles with their own man so that's what they tell other men to do. that's the first thing those guys need to figure out, any advice from women up to and including their own mothers should be taken with a large grain of salt until the woman in question has proven to you that she isn't just telling you what she would want to hear.
Cypress25 Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 how many threads show up about "girl hot/cold after a couple of dates" and then he gets a couple of responses of women to the effect of "you should give her space and respect her pace and see if she comes back to you blah blah blah". which of course is bullsh*t. what that guy should do is screw her senseless when the opportunity presents itself because then she'll have sexual attachment to deal with and she'll be calling him, he won't have to call her. The problem with your advice is that the opportunity to "screw her senseless" is NOT going to present itself if the girl is blowing hot and cold. That's why the guy is seeking advice. If he had the opportunity to screw her, he wouldn't need advice.
jobaba Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 The other day there was a poster on here college grad who has never been kissed. A girl told him to just go out to some social setting like a club and make out with a random girl. I thought this was awesome advice because from experience as a guy I know something like that would reinvigorate the OP who was a young twenty something guy who was on the verge of giving up on dating all together. Heck he wasn’t even posting about how he wanted to date he was just worried he may some day look back and be sad he never did or something like that. Funny. I caught that too. That is NOT the advice a woman would typically give and I thought it was good as well. In terms of who is best suited to give advice to struggling men, I'd say it's struggling men who have managed to get some girls. Guys who have been the chump and managed to come out, probably not on top, but in a better spot. It doesn't really make any sense to take advice from a guy who's had a steady stream of girlfriends since the time he was 13. He's never had to work for it. But yea, the advice of women in the 'struggling man' department is generally pretty bad too.
Author Dust Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 Funny. I caught that too. That is NOT the advice a woman would typically give and I thought it was good as well. In terms of who is best suited to give advice to struggling men, I'd say it's struggling men who have managed to get some girls. Guys who have been the chump and managed to come out, probably not on top, but in a better spot. It doesn't really make any sense to take advice from a guy who's had a steady stream of girlfriends since the time he was 13. He's never had to work for it. But yea, the advice of women in the 'struggling man' department is generally pretty bad too. The way I feel is that what people really need is motivation to do what they think is right. If knowing that there was a struggling guy who now no longer strugles is motivating then so be it. If hearing women complain about how guys never ask them out is motivating then so be it. But to specificaly solicit advice from women like they can give you some kind of details of what to do... not likely to work. I really like the advice to just kiss a girl because a) it had action b) if he does get physical with a girl it will remind him of what he's fighting for and remind him its about the journey not mariage and kids necearily. I used to struggle with girls. What does that mean? It means I was afraid to ask women out and when ever I did date I felt it was going no where. Now I don't worry about it. I just try to enjoy. Thats what it means to me not to struggle with women. It doesn't mean you have a gf necesarily it just means that you arn't afraid to try and you're ok no matter if you have a gf/wife or not.
Cypress25 Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 I really like the advice to just kiss a girl because a) it had action b) if he does get physical with a girl it will remind him of what he's fighting for Again, this advice is ignoring the problem. How is he supposed to kiss a girl if he can't find a girl who's willing to kiss him? Is he supposed to beat her over the head, drag her into a dark alley, hold her down, and force a kiss on her? "Just kiss a girl" is not very helpful to a guy who can't even get girls interested in him.
Author Dust Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 Again, this advice is ignoring the problem. How is he supposed to kiss a girl if he can't find a girl who's willing to kiss him? Is he supposed to beat her over the head, drag her into a dark alley, hold her down, and force a kiss on her? "Just kiss a girl" is not very helpful to a guy who can't even get girls interested in him. If he goes through all the trouble of dragging her into a dark alley and holding her down I'm pretty sure he'd want more then a kiss know what I mean? You're very dark cypress I like it! Me or you giving him a script of every action he needs to do to get to that point is helpful. I remember my first real kiss. I was out with a very pretty girl and I was trying to be cool. I ended up saying something mean while trying to be flirty and the girl was like "you're mean/jerk" and I just kissed her and we started making out. I had taken her for dinner then drinks and this happened durring the drink portion. I was older when I first started getting physical with girls. 22 was when I had my first everything. Something about breaking that physical barrier it adds a lot of confidence and makes you hungry for more. Thats why I think him knowing that getting that first kiss would help a lot. How does he do it? I'm not saying a club is a great place to find a gf... but if you just want to dance and kiss a girl that can easily happen right out on the dance floor. You just do it! He can find a way. Baby steps. Right now he's to focused on the big picture. I say like the girl told him in the other thread... get a kiss!
somedude81 Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 For a guy who's had no success with women, just breaking the physical barrier is something that is very hard. Even more so when the girl has not given any sign of wanting to get physical or possibly seems against it. As for women giving advice, they seem better than men at interpreting other women's actions. There are some other things as well as like if a guy is doing something unattractive.
carhill Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 When I stopped taking dating advice from women was when I started succeeding with women in romantic/dating dynamics. Despite all the great intentions of female friends, they were telling me what they wanted, not what they were attracted to at the loin level. My mistake was listening, and I did for many years. In life there are lessons and that was an important one. A person who could have given me great insight perished before his words could take full meaning; he was my father. If he had lived longer and been more open, my life with women would have been markedly different. I only learned that many years later reading his writings. Every person's experience is different but I see strong patterns in my own and would be negligent in not acknowledging them.
gaius Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Some women are better then others at being honest about what they want, I wouldn't discount every single females advice. I do feel bad though for any guy who reads that high quality man thread and thinks if he starts mowing lawns for old people women will start desiring him.
iris219 Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 So, since I'm a woman, I should ignore dating advice from guys and only listen to women since they understand what I'm going through more accurately?*
carhill Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Naw, I just help old people out because I like to and think they're interesting and have a lot of life experience to share. I could care less if that's attractive to women. They don't even figure into my thought processes. They taught me this, so I guess I should thank them
thatone Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 When I stopped taking dating advice from women was when I started succeeding with women in romantic/dating dynamics. Despite all the great intentions of female friends, they were telling me what they wanted, not what they were attracted to at the loin level. My mistake was listening, and I did for many years. In life there are lessons and that was an important one. A person who could have given me great insight perished before his words could take full meaning; he was my father. If he had lived longer and been more open, my life with women would have been markedly different. I only learned that many years later reading his writings. Every person's experience is different but I see strong patterns in my own and would be negligent in not acknowledging them. precisely my point, and i'm guilty of it too, being the product of a single mother household. women will tell men about what they want but don't have from their current man, that's it. what they don't mention is the thing that they don't have they turned down from some other guy to be with their current man . in my terms, "they don't know what they want, so feel free to tell them to want what you want"
jobaba Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 When I stopped taking dating advice from women was when I started succeeding with women in romantic/dating dynamics. Despite all the great intentions of female friends, they were telling me what they wanted, not what they were attracted to at the loin level. My mistake was listening, and I did for many years. In life there are lessons and that was an important one. A person who could have given me great insight perished before his words could take full meaning; he was my father. If he had lived longer and been more open, my life with women would have been markedly different. I only learned that many years later reading his writings. Every person's experience is different but I see strong patterns in my own and would be negligent in not acknowledging them. Yea. It sounds scary. But I've gotten better advice off men from message boards and PUA sites than my female friends and buddy's wives that I know really well. My male buddies never helped that much. I don't know why they didn't try. I think it was a lot different for them than me. They didn't have nearly as hard of a time. So, since I'm a woman, I should ignore dating advice from guys and only listen to women since they understand what I'm going through more accurately?* IMHO, women can give great dating advice to men. How to win a girlfriend back. How to confess love. How to buy a ring, etc. They just cannot give good dating advice to men who struggle badly. Because mostly ... they have no idea what we go through. Just my opinion though.
Kamille Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 So, since I'm a woman, I should ignore dating advice from guys and only listen to women since they understand what I'm going through more accurately?* Has not been my experience. Men give great advice about dating. I primarily think that's because they're the ones who tend to set the pace in the initial stages of dating. (They're the ones who approach most of the time, are expected to set up the dates, etc.)
carhill Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 As to the reverse corollary, I've met or known so few females who were dating that there was no need or place for any advice I might give them about dating or men in general. In fact, every platonic female friend I ever had was in a relationship or married. If they were single I would be wanting to date them To clarify an earlier post, it was advice on how to attract women for and during dating which failed, rather than advice about how to grow and/or maintain a healthy relationship with a woman who was already attracted and attached. The former is where a successful man's words of wisdom are critical for someone to whom such pursuits don't come naturally. IOW, take dating advice from men who are successful at dating and attracting women.
Author Dust Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 For a guy who's had no success with women, just breaking the physical barrier is something that is very hard. Even more so when the girl has not given any sign of wanting to get physical or possibly seems against it. As for women giving advice, they seem better than men at interpreting other women's actions. There are some other things as well as like if a guy is doing something unattractive. Breaking the physical barrier is hard but if you go to long with out breaking it you forget what your doing. You need to remind yourself from time to time. More often the better. Get your hand on her butt, your lips on her lips. The fact that you still place women at some higher standard at giving advice should explain a lot to you. I think hearing womens views on things are interesting but the same way you argue the things I say you need to be doubly cautious with the things they say. When I stopped taking dating advice from women was when I started succeeding with women in romantic/dating dynamics. Despite all the great intentions of female friends, they were telling me what they wanted, not what they were attracted to at the loin level. My mistake was listening, and I did for many years. In life there are lessons and that was an important one. A person who could have given me great insight perished before his words could take full meaning; he was my father. If he had lived longer and been more open, my life with women would have been markedly different. I only learned that many years later reading his writings. Every person's experience is different but I see strong patterns in my own and would be negligent in not acknowledging them. My father died before I ever got a chance to know him. I was never close with my "new" father. I surely believe in listening to women. The thing is you have to find something in yourself that relates to a mans path. That is easier to find in other men. When women here give great advice I say to myself "wow thats something a man would say." Some women are better then others at being honest about what they want, I wouldn't discount every single females advice. I do feel bad though for any guy who reads that high quality man thread and thinks if he starts mowing lawns for old people women will start desiring him. Oh man the high quality man thread is a joke. It's older women (I'm in my 20's) talking about how real men are virgins who put every one first. They act like all those other guys don't get women too... haha No, you need to be able to listen and understand women. This thread I made is mainly directed at men who have trouble with women and seem to hold a womens view on the situation to elevated status. So, since I'm a woman, I should ignore dating advice from guys and only listen to women since they understand what I'm going through more accurately?* No, but its rarer that I see the "I need a guys view on how to get men" thread. Even when that thread exists it comes from a different place. I just feel really bad for the guys who seem to think a womans view is some how a special tool which will bring them closer to their goals. I'm not saying they shouldn't listen to women. Yea. It sounds scary. But I've gotten better advice off men from message boards and PUA sites than my female friends and buddy's wives that I know really well. My male buddies never helped that much. I don't know why they didn't try. I think it was a lot different for them than me. They didn't have nearly as hard of a time. IMHO, women can give great dating advice to men. How to win a girlfriend back. How to confess love. How to buy a ring, etc. They just cannot give good dating advice to men who struggle badly. Because mostly ... they have no idea what we go through. Just my opinion though. I think even with advice on how to maintain a relationship a man needs to be very careful the advice he gets from women. Obviously they need to be careful the advice they get from the guys too lol! Has not been my experience. Men give great advice about dating. I primarily think that's because they're the ones who tend to set the pace in the initial stages of dating. (They're the ones who approach most of the time, are expected to set up the dates, etc.) haha I never thought of it like that but true! You give great advice always by the way Kamille!
Cypress25 Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Get your hand on her butt, your lips on her lips. "I put my hand upon your hip, when I dip, you dip, we dip." I'm sorry, I had to.
Author Dust Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 "I put my hand upon your hip, when I dip, you dip, we dip." I'm sorry, I had to. That brings me back haha. But yes thats what he needs to do! Dip a girl!
dispatch3d Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 I live with a girl. Kinda lost all respect for women after living with a girl. She's never put herself out there in her liiiiiiffffeeeee yet turns around and criticizes people who do ALLLLLL the time. And my god, good luck getting her to actually deal with something. It's like people just give her emotional breaks because she's a girl, and then it's up to the rest of the world to adjust. This is so ****ed.
Emilia Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 To clarify an earlier post, it was advice on how to attract women for and during dating which failed, rather than advice about how to grow and/or maintain a healthy relationship with a woman who was already attracted and attached. The former is where a successful man's words of wisdom are critical for someone to whom such pursuits don't come naturally. IOW, take dating advice from men who are successful at dating and attracting women. Yes absolutely. When a man asks me about how to attract women I always tell him to talk to his successful mates rather than seek advice from me.
phineas Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Let's put it this way, any woman who claims to have never attention whored or claims to not know any other women who attention whore's is either a shut-in, delusional, an attention whore herself, or from an alternate reality & therefore reject any advice on women she gives. Following this rule has never led me astray.
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 When I stopped taking dating advice from women was when I started succeeding with women in romantic/dating dynamics. Despite all the great intentions of female friends, they were telling me what they wanted, not what they were attracted to at the loin level. My mistake was listening, and I did for many years. In life there are lessons and that was an important one. A person who could have given me great insight perished before his words could take full meaning; he was my father. If he had lived longer and been more open, my life with women would have been markedly different. I only learned that many years later reading his writings. Every person's experience is different but I see strong patterns in my own and would be negligent in not acknowledging them. I don't take dating advice from a lot of women either. I don't think women are honest with themselves or other people. Therefore, they aren't giving good advice when it comes to dating. I come to LS to get information on what turns women on and off. For instance, I didn't know posting pics of yourself with one or more women is a turn-off to most women. LS women helped me understand female behavior better.
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Women can, though, offer something that almost no man can: the perspective of a woman. If a man can listen to and understand that, it will help him. I'm pretty sure that even the most callous playboy who is actually successful with women has not refuted the value in understanding her point of view. It's different than "advice."
Author Dust Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 Women can, though, offer something that almost no man can: the perspective of a woman. If a man can listen to and understand that, it will help him. I'm pretty sure that even the most callous playboy who is actually successful with women has not refuted the value in understanding her point of view. It's different than "advice." Yes and the name of this thread should have been Men Wh0 seek dating "advice" from women... I left the "advice" part out and we got Men Wh0 seek dating from women thread. Yes, you need to interact and try to understand women for perspective. It's also interesting to hear a womans advice. The thin I take offense to are the guys who think they need the perspective in the form of asking for opions and advice on a situation. The threads that specificaly target women "need girls view" like its some how going to be more valid then another guys view. I feel bad for guys who think like this.
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