mikezombie777 Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 Hi folks, I posted a few months back about my fiancée having broken up with me and I've had zero contact since then. But today I spoke to a friend who said she's now seeing someone else and was speaking badly of me to people. I was mostly over her but this had kicked me in the stomach. It kind of kills me to imagine her with someone else, even though I hate her. She was emotionally abusive and got all my things when we split, plus more money than she was entitled to. Suddenly everything is flooding back and it hurts to know I was so easily left behind and forgotten. Any advice?
smudge21 Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 I bet you could list all the emotions you're going through right now - everything from anger to jealousy to betrayal etc. I don't envy your situation one bit. Nothing worse than something like this to dig up old memories, and bring back that hurt. I really can't tell you how to fix this, other than to stay NC and just let her do whatever. If she's bad mouthing you that's generally our of anger, but maybe not anger at you, maybe at herself. Maybe she's trying to convince herself that her new guy and new life is better for her. It's like that child thing we did when we wouldn't get what we want so we'd sulk and play up and then try to act not bothered. For all you know, she's simply acting up because she's the one who's not happy. She may also be hoping that gets back to you and sparks a reaction. Therefore, don't react.
Lemontang Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 I was in this same scenario two years ago, heck almost lost my house over it. No it's not fun, but you have to stick to your guns. One thing I think a few people overlook is people who bad mouth someone constantly will find that it actually reflects more poorly on them than it does the person who's being bad mouthed about. Even to this day I still hear the odd whisper, but that's mostly from mutual friends who now find it pathetic that she keeps banging the I abandoned her drum. When they actually know what it was she was doing behind my back when we were together and now don't blame me for ending it. Take the high road, I did and it paid dividends in the long term. Sure you'll stumble a few times, but the end result made me a better person and I grew more in a year than I did in the 3 years I was with that person.
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