PoppyLove89 Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 As if acting like an idiot wasn't enough, my ex has now gone to the great lengths of deleting everything I ever posted on his facebook as well...nice to know our relationship meant so little to him. Almost as though he's ashamed! Makes it easier for me to move on though I guess, knowing he couldn't give two sh*ts! When we got together, all of his ex's stuff was still there and they were only together for 6 months...we did a year and a bit and yet I meant nothing?! THE HELL?!?!?!
gibson Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 The more I hear about Facebook... the more it makes me never want to start using it. When you stalk someone who dumps you, nothing you are going to find, see, hear or uncover is going to make you feel good or help you heal. So why stalk?
Author PoppyLove89 Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 Here's the thing, I deleted him a week after we broke up. I then got a text message. Everything I had ever put on his wall remained on his wall until he saw me again a month later on a night out, I was dancing with my friends and making sure he could see I couldn't care less that he was there, he kept glaring over. Following this, everything you can see on his fb that isn't private, that I had put on there, he deleted. He's been acting like a child and its making it so much easier for me though I'm kind of insulted - I guess this is what he was going for.
gibson Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 (edited) Here's the thing, I deleted him a week after we broke up. Okay... Everything I had ever put on his wall remained on his wall until he saw me again a month later on a night out, I was dancing with my friends and making sure he could see I couldn't care less that he was there, he kept glaring over. You delete him off of your Facebook and you ignore him and act like you don't care. Following this, everything you can see on his fb that isn't private, that I had put on there, he deleted. You deleted him within a week... He waited till you ignored him and acted like you didn't care. You can delete but he can't? What the hell is he suppose to do? Leave it on there for then next girl or you give him approval? From his point of view, you don't want anything to do with him and a second chance isn't an option. He's been acting like a child and its making it so much easier for me though I'm kind of insulted - I guess this is what he was going for. He is acting like a child and you are insulted? 1. It's Facebook... not real life. 2. You delete him a month before he deleted your stuff. 3. You are the one that ignored him and acted like you didn't care. I don't understand what he did wrong and why it matters so much to you when you are guilty of doing the exact same thing to him, a month ago! You posted in the Second Chance Forum so I assume you want him back. How is what you did / doing working for you? Is he moving further away or coming closer? Edited December 20, 2011 by gibson
fiat500 Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 i can just picture people flipping tables while screaming over this sh*t. "she deleted me off her facebook first!!B!TCH!!!" (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ http://i603.photobucket.com/albums/tt114/tuesdayspaper/tableflip2.gif
Melrapuo Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 Facebook is just a website, it isn't life. When both of my exes dumped me, I deleted our photos off facebook and unfriended her immediately. Why? Because I would just stare at it all day. She, in turn, deactivated her facebook account. Why? How should I know? Either to get away from it, or because she had wanted to for a while. What can you do? A couple that has just broken up will do these things. One will always try to gain the upper hand on the situation to make themselves feel better, or at least like they have the power. My ex had the power over me by ending it for us. I contacted her a day after it, and nothing changed. So I'm doing NC to get better, and feel better. It'll help me gain the upper hand over my own emotions. And you can tell you two were either unconsciously or knowingly doing the same thing to each other. You delete him from facebook in a week, you gain an upper hand. He sees you at a club, another upper hand. He deletes all of your stuff...and now its level again. You are both just fighting for some invisible sense of power. You're fighting without words or fists. Not a good thing.
Lemontang Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 I'm also failing to see the issue here. I've been in the same boat and deleted everything from one of my ex's, yet other ex's I've kept. It could mean a great many things and could even boil down to how the breakup came about (hence why I've kept stuff with ex's I'm still happily friends with and deleted the stuff from those I want nothing to do with, heck I've even deleted emails and photo's from one just to move on). The fact he saw you after all that time and you ignored him could have simply indicated that it was time to move on for him and in doing so this was his way of going about. You made it clear you don't want to be friends, so why should he hang on to that stuff? Some people don't want to be reminded of their ex's after they break up. The constant in your face comments can be a bit disheartening, and keeping them can hinder moving on. Sorry but if your after a 2nd chance no amount of game playings going to do that for you. Best to just swallow that pride and dive in with both feet once a bit of time has passed and you both don't hold anymore animosity towards each other.
Philosoraptor Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 When my relationship ended I did the same thing. I have a box in my attic full of the things she gave me but I don't need to see whatever online.
Author PoppyLove89 Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 Okaaay, I have clearly given the wrong impression here by not telling the whole story! 1) He broke up with me mid argument. He strung me along for two weeks "oh I don't know what I want" I said fair enough but do you reckon we could be friends some day? Seems a waste of a year to just disappear from each other's lives. He ignored my request completely. 2) I went up to HIM at the club and started chatting just general stuff, he was happily talking back until his friends came over. Then he laughed in my face and walked away without so much as a goodbye...this is when I danced and ignored him. AFTER he snubbed me! I was so humiliated in the club, what else was I supposed to do?!
Philosoraptor Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 Say good riddance to a person who would go through such great lengths to hurt you?
Author PoppyLove89 Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 I only just read back what I wrote the first time around and I realise that it made it sound like I was the one being spiteful...it was 5am and I'd just finished work when I started this thread - hence missing most of the information. Believe me, I'm in the process. And the ironic thing? When we split he told me "I meant everything I ever said to you and I will always cherished what we had together. I promise I won't ignore you, I love you." Such a liar, he's done the opposite of everything he said!
Lemontang Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 (edited) With the update of information yes it does change things a little but only in the sense that he's given you every reason to move on. But the "I meant everything..." stuff is purely lip service. I've had this in the past the "My friendship will always be available to you" only to have that person a week later not only drop me from FB but not even respond to a "whats up we not friends now?" or phone call. I got the message loud and clear so blocked everything so as to give no recourse. You want me to move on, then consider it done. If you want to chat you can do it face to face without wasting my time fishing. If you want to send a message, send the one of "I have better things to do than be strung along" and cut off all ties or options of contact. If he can't go out of his way to see you in person, then you deserve someone who will. Edited December 21, 2011 by Lemontang
Kamila Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 FB... sends shivers down my spine... Anyways, I haven't deleted my ex from FB and neither has he. We're too chicken to do that. But the funny thing is that before we broke-up he deleted his profile from FB. He said he's moving away from FB because he doesn't want any data from him to be available to strangers. Then a couple of weeks later he reactived his profile, because his friend wanted him to show him a new tattoo. 'Owkay' I thought... He's showing for the millionth time that he doesn't know what he wants. Then a year and more after our break-up he'll posting pictures of his new conquest, chatting with others, ... I guess he felt lonely since I've left him. The best way to free yourself from FB is to not give it any attention anymore.
Sugarkane Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 This is why I can't understand when people laugh at me for not having FB. Your ex sounds spiteful.
fiat500 Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 (edited) I get why facebook is useful. It's ideal for college kids and networking. What else is there to do if you can't feel self important by having hundreds or thousands of friends on there ? Those comments on your wall can really boost the ego. And you know, whenever you get into a new relationship you'll feel justified by your FB friends giving your status a thumbs up. Anyway. I really don't hate facebook. I can understand the draw.. I just don't have one since I was dumped over it. But it's like everything else. You lose interest in it pretty quickly after your college or partying phase Edited December 21, 2011 by fiat500
Author PoppyLove89 Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 I realise in him acting the way he has that I need to move on, I don't deserve someone who will disrespect me or what we had together. It only begs the question: Following a break-up why do some people become so bitter/spiteful/mean towards someone they once claimed they loved more than anything? Why can't they find it in themselves to be civil at least? Is it their coping mechanism? Or is it their way of forcing you to move on. My guess is that it's a bit of both.
fiat500 Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 this is where people get immature over this crap. it doesn't really seem like they were real with you to begin with if they become rude toward you after a breakup. as a dumpee it's expected that you'd erase pictures and take them off your page in order to get over them. it's kind of creepy if you didn't and it's also not fair to you to keep them on your personal space when they've moved on and you haven't. there is such a thing as a mature break up. it just doesn't take place over facebook. and if they get bitter or 'spiteful' over it then it's not really worth losing sleep over if they can't be civil about it. you don't hurt someone further in order to help them get over you. it's retarded.
Author PoppyLove89 Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 You're absolutely right! He couldn't have been serious about me if he's behaving this way or even if he was, he's just being hurtful for the sake of it. We weren't the couple to post photos on facebook, it was more comments and fair enough that he deleted them, it was his call to make not mine but I just feel a bit hurt because it seems for however much "deeper" he made out his love for me was over his ex (yes, i realise everyone says it in a new relationship, everybody is always better than the ex but from what his friends and family claim in how he treated me, it was true. he made the effort with me.), it seems I seem to have gotten the rougher end of the deal. Ah well, it's done and over with. Good riddance to bad rubbish! He's shown himself for who he truly is and it's not the man I fell in love with. As far as I'm concerned, that man died two months ago only to be replaced by this arrogant, cocky prat whom I don't recognise.
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