IronMaiden Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 The key ingredient to high passion, is actually to be passionate about the person you are having sex with. All else is just mechanics, and frankly, little more than being in your own version of your favorite porn video..
Soxfaninfl Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 Be thankful you're getting ass even if it is mediocre. Amen sister! I was getting it two to three times a day and then my GF just cut it off. Which is a huge turn off. I tried to break up with her tonight, and she wants to continue. She told me that we can date and not have sex. I'm in a sexless relationship now, and we've only been dating since 10/9/11.
Cypress25 Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 I'm definitely not passive in bed, but I would not be comfortable hitting the guy. I probably would freeze if a guy said that to me during sex. I'll get on top sometimes because I know my guy likes it, but it's not my favorite position because it actually hurts a little. I don't enjoy pain, so I can only manage a few minutes of that before we have to switch to another position. But there are so many other positions, it's never been a problem. Even when he's on top, I'm not passive. If the girl is just lying there, she's probably not enjoying it very much. When sex feels good, it's impossible to just lie there. I'm not saying she has to thrash about like a maniac, but there should be some movement, grinding, kissing, massaging, etc.
Pizzaman81 Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 Man.. my 2 ex's and I had something going. We always spice things up and do all these crazy things. She was really great with movement and very imaginative. The guys at the guy would look at the scratches on my back and know exactly what went on last night :bunny: Ah... good times. Sorry just having flashbacks
Author kaylan Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 When I was younger, the ONLY way I would let myself go during sex is if I felt completely comfortable. Younger women are insecure (for the most part) about sex. Now.....GAME ON I know this and I always try and make girls feel comfortable and try to reassure them about things. After a while though its just blah. Well, I guess I have to draw a lucky card eventually with a girl. I'm definitely not passive in bed, but I would not be comfortable hitting the guy. I probably would freeze if a guy said that to me during sex. I'll get on top sometimes because I know my guy likes it, but it's not my favorite position because it actually hurts a little. I don't enjoy pain, so I can only manage a few minutes of that before we have to switch to another position. But there are so many other positions, it's never been a problem. Even when he's on top, I'm not passive. If the girl is just lying there, she's probably not enjoying it very much. When sex feels good, it's impossible to just lie there. I'm not saying she has to thrash about like a maniac, but there should be some movement, grinding, kissing, massaging, etc. I like it rough, what can i say? =P I like gentle love making too, but it all depends on my mood. Its about 50/50. And hmmm, I dont really ever run across girls who it hurts them to be on top. Its usually I hear that its one of their fave positions. And there are more positions, but most positions have the guy doing the work. I dont like doing alllll the work. Meh And I dont mean the girls lay there like dead fish. I just mean they arent as engaging as Id like. I want someone who will let go in the moment. I can tell half the time these women have something on their mind instead of just being one with the feeling in the room. Im thinking its that insecurity Colliejoanie was talking about. The girls do move their hips and kiss me and what not, but somethings missing. That confidence and empathy seems to be missing. Ive only been with a couple of women who seemed as invested in my getting off as much as theirs. They acted loads different than the other women and didnt want to stay underneath the whole time and had no hangups. Like I said, some women make me think they see sex as something they let guys do to them, rather than a joint thing. Turn off. I just dont think a lot of people get lost in moments anymore. Thats kind of what Im looking for.
Emilia Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 And the thing about looking for amazing or great sex, is that Ive never truly felt super satisfied afterwards, despite if the sex was good or decent. Girls need to know that just because I came, does not mean it was great sex. Theres a difference between busting a nut and an orgasm. And ive only truly had best orgasms during masturbation or when my last ex gave me oral. You would be surprised how few men know the difference between ejaculation and great sex. If you read the threads here on bad sex a lot of guys will say it's an oxymoron, that there is not such thing. There are very few people that understand the complexities of good sex and it definitely takes a fair few years to get to that level. You have to be compatible and feelings are involved to a degree too. No-one turns you on more than a girl you are really into. I'd say most people don't realise that the brain is the largest sexual organ. I don't think you can be that confident and good in bed until you learn what gets you off truly and you own that. It's expecting a 25 year-old to have the same life experiences as a 35 year-old and that's not possible. You are attracted to younger girls, that means attraction to less life experience too unfortunately. You can't have your cake and eat it
Emilia Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 I just dont think a lot of people get lost in moments anymore. Thats kind of what Im looking for. Yeah, it's the sexiest thing. I used to love how my ex would get lost in me, he said I was the only girl he knew who encouraged that. I loved how he felt completely comfortable with me to show his true self in bed and that would take many forms depending on his mood.
updown Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 i just want to echo what other women on here have said. the more experience you have the more you know what you like and want. some women are naturally more aggressive and curious in bed. and this will be evident when they are younger, but more so as they get older. when i was in my late teens i wanted to experiment and try new things. i had a hard time finding guys that were interested AND made me feel comfortable. most just seemed interested in the end result. my ex husband was the first guy that was willing to try stuff AND made me feel safe. i met him at 19. once our marriage went south and i no longer felt safe with him then our sex life became more vanilla. which drove me nuts but i wasn't willing to be vulnerable with someone that i knew wasn't interested in my emotional well being anymore. i'm in my 30s now and my brain runs wild with all of the passionate things i want to do, either again or for the first time. now, it's just a matter of "getting back on that horse," and finding someone i trust to enjoy all of my fantasies with. so, they're out there. some people would shock you by the amount of passion they have ( based on outwards appearances). but, i think that a lot of it comes with experiences ( knowing what you want and like) and feeling comfortable and safe with the person ( letting yourself be vulnerable to them). i also think it's gotta be more about them moment to moment and less about the final result........ good luck!!!
filani Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 Wow I thought i was the only one who had noticed what Kaylan has noticed . More often than naught the pressure to make sex 'good' is on the man .the ladies get to lie back ,have all the fun and then render judgement on his performance. bleh !!! On a personal note , i'm more of a 50/50 guy myself .I'm more than willing to take care of her needs but if she isn't even taking the time to say " Hey baby, tonight lets make it about you, What do you want? What can i do to make it good for you?" then that makes her a bad lover in my book.Over the years ladies have shown zero tolerance for such a status by 'nexting' the men they feel fall short on performance.Well i say ,whats good for the goose is good for the gander. Kaylan also made notice of women who never initiate sex. Geez ladies ,how boring do you think it gets when the guy always has to make the first move.Some of you try to justify it by claiming "it's the guys job to initiate" and "it makes them feel more masculine". Hot tip ladies, guys like feeling desirable and wanted too!!! and on a sexual level you show this to your bf/husband by initiating sex. Don't drop subtle hints ,don't make him guess, be upfront about it And when it comes to sex is it really to much to ask for the ladies to care as much for their guys satisfaction as they do their own?Another hot tip ladies female dominant positions are when he gets to relax and you do the work.don't just ride him like a bronco(unless he wants you to:)) Use the Pompoir technique and make it last for him http://tantraecstasy.blogspot.com/2009/06/pompoir-art-of-milking-lingam.html
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