Ive yet to date a girl who truly sexually satisfies me

[kaylan]

So Im 25, and in all the hookups Ive had, or girlfriends, or whatever...Ive had some good sex here and there, but never mind blowing amazing sex that I hear my friends and others talk about sometimes.

 

Something always seems to be missing and it makes me wonder if most girls are not up to task in bed.

 

I mean, in my experience, and from talking to other folks, and from browsing online as well, it seems most(a lot) of women are very passive in bed. And that good sex is defined by how good the guy is for her. Which is dumb, because if she is on the bottom the whole time, or just "getting f&*cked" instead of doing some f^&king herself, then Im not gonna be thinking she was much good.

 

Seems though to me that most guys dont care though as long as they get laid, from the convos Ive had with some dudes. Makes me wonder if I just have high expectations, but hell, I think I should be able to judge a woman by the same standard Ill be judged by. Id say maybe only a quarter of the women Ive hooked up with have been more of the go-getter type.

 

But then during sex, ill look them in the eye and say "hit me" and they get all weird...but I know I kind of put them on the spot. But hell, Ive asked girls to get on top in the past and them either say theyd rather not, or only ride for like 2 minutes. Sex gets tiresome if I have to do everything though=/. I just feel like most women dont really put thought into making sure Im enjoying myself as much as I put thought into their enjoyment.

 

 

Like I do love being in control and stuff, but I also love when a woman will hold me down and do what she pleases. I want to be kissed hard and grabbed hard, and slapped and ridden with fiery passion. Hell i dont mind a hand around my neck either. But it seems many women dont have this in them. And even the girls ive been with who has been more assertive or aggressive, seem to lack a little something. Or they dont spend enough time being in control. And even worse, sometimes the making out is so bland that I dont even get turned on enough to want sex. Wheres the passion =/?

 

I dunno its frustrating that at 25 Im still not getting the sex or even makeout sessions I really like. Im kinda wondering if most women are the kind to just lay there or expect the man to be up to par with her expectations. I havent met many women who know they have to put in work as well, as to not be a bad lay themselves.

 

Guess I need to date a lot more, cus there has to be a girl out there that I click with on everything I want sexually....maybe. Because like I said, Ive had some good sex, but I want to be able to relate to folks whove had amazing sex...I want some better adjectives to describe my intimacy.

Edited December 19, 2011 by kaylan

[lululucy]

I've found I enjoy sex more when I'm the one being ..um.. ridden? to use your turn of phrase. I assume it is the same way for my bf, when you can just lay back and enjoy you're going to feel better. It's important to switch it up though and make sure everyone's doing their part -- and ew, I've heard a lot of my guy friends talk about girls just laying there, who does that? blech.

 

I only want to caution you about your expectations going into sex -- if you are looking for amazing, great isn't going to ever satisfy you.

[ShannonMI]

So Im 25, and in all the hookups Ive had, or girlfriends, or whatever...Ive had some good sex here and there, but never mind blowing amazing sex that I hear my friends and others talk about sometimes.

 

Something always seems to be missing and it makes me wonder if most girls are not up to task in bed.

 

I mean, in my experience, and from talking to other folks, and from browsing online as well, it seems most(a lot) of women are very passive in bed. And that good sex is defined by how good the guy is for her. Which is dumb, because if she is on the bottom the whole time, or just "getting f&*cked" instead of doing some f^&king herself, then Im not gonna be thinking she was much good.

 

Seems though to me that most guys dont care though as long as they get laid, from the convos Ive had with some dudes. Makes me wonder if I just have high expectations, but hell, I think I should be able to judge a woman by the same standard Ill be judged by. Id say maybe only a quarter of the women Ive hooked up with have been more of the go-getter type.

 

But then during sex, ill look them in the eye and say "hit me" and they get all weird...but I know I kind of put them on the spot. But hell, Ive asked girls to get on top in the past and them either say theyd rather not, or only ride for like 2 minutes. Sex gets tiresome if I have to do everything though=/. I just feel like most women dont really put thought into making sure Im enjoying myself as much as I put thought into their enjoyment.

 

 

Like I do love being in control and stuff, but I also love when a woman will hold me down and do what she pleases. I want to be kissed hard and grabbed hard, and slapped and ridden with fiery passion. Hell i dont mind a hand around my neck either. But it seems many women dont have this in them. And even the girls ive been with who has been more assertive or aggressive, seem to lack a little something. Or they dont spend enough time being in control. And even worse, sometimes the making out is so bland that I dont even get turned on enough to want sex. Wheres the passion =/?

 

I dunno its frustrating that at 25 Im still not getting the sex or even makeout sessions I really like. Im kinda wondering if most women are the kind to just lay there or expect the man to be up to par with her expectations. I havent met many women who know they have to put in work as well, as to not be a bad lay themselves.

 

Guess I need to date a lot more, cus there has to be a girl out there that I click with on everything I want sexually....maybe. Because like I said, Ive had some good sex, but I want to be able to relate to folks whove had amazing sex...I want some better adjectives to describe my intimacy.

There's bad sex, decent sex, great sex and mind blowing sex. The mind blowing sex happens rarely.

 

Why don't you communicate you're sexual desires to these girls? Tell them that you want to be man handled and you want them to take control. Maybe they don't know you want it that way. Most women aren't super sexually aggressive on their own. And what woman just "lays there" during sex? Hahahahahaha that's horrible. Why even have sex?

 

Hell at least you're getting laid. A lot of the men on this forum have never had sex or have gone months or years without it. Be thankful you're getting ass even if it is mediocre.

[verhrzn]

The only common factor in all these hook-ups and relationships is you.

 

How do you communicate your desire? Do you state very specifically," I want you to do this?" Do you show them how you would like to pleased? Did you tell them," I like X and Y."

 

Furthermore, you seem very concerned about YOUR pleasure. Where's your concern for the girl's pleasure? Have you made sure that SHE'S having an enjoyable time? (And by "made sure," I mean "Have you asked specifically what she would like you to do to her"?)

[Quiet Storm]

Are the girls you are dating under 25?

 

At 35 I am much more open sexually then I was at 25. And I have been with the same man this whole time.

 

Maybe try someone a little older? I think many women are self conscious in bed, so it takes some time to get them to open up.

 

Your "Hit me" command may be turning them off. I like it when my husband talks dirty to me, but that's because I am 100% comfortable with him. If you try that too soon, it may weird them out.

 

Women come out of their shell when they feel comfortable and free. If they feel pressured in any way, or used, they will not be as willing to try new things.

[ShannonMI]

Are the girls you are dating under 25?

 

At 35 I am much more open sexually then I was at 25. And I have been with the same man this whole time.

 

Maybe try someone a little older? I think many women are self conscious in bed, so it takes some time to get them to open up.

 

Your "Hit me" command may be turning them off. I like it when my husband talks dirty to me, but that's because I am 100% comfortable with him. If you try that too soon, it may weird them out.

 

Women come out of their shell when they feel comfortable and free. If they feel pressured in any way, or used, they will not be as willing to try new things.

This is true. Women in their 30's are in their sexual prime. They enjoy sex so much more. Perhaps it's time to try a few cougars out, OP.

[jobaba]

There's bad sex, decent sex, great sex and mind blowing sex. The mind blowing sex happens rarely.

 

Why don't you communicate you're sexual desires to these girls? Tell them that you want to be man handled and you want them to take control. Maybe they don't know you want it that way. Most women aren't super sexually aggressive on their own. And what woman just "lays there" during sex? Hahahahahaha that's horrible. Why even have sex?

 

Hell at least you're getting laid. A lot of the men on this forum have never had sex or have gone months or years without it. Be thankful you're getting ass even if it is mediocre.

 

I agree. I haven't had sex with many women. But I've had sex hundreds of times with a few women.

 

And sex is overrated. It can be really good. But masturbation is consistently better for me.

 

Take care with your alcohol consumption. Even a few beers can sometimes ruin my mojo. Also, condoms suck. I could be having sex with the hottest woman I just met at a bar (play along with me here ) and it would suck because I'd be drunk and using a 25 cent condom I picked up from the mens room.

 

For me, sex has always been best in the morning, right after a work day, and while watching porn (if you find someone cool enough).

[Dust]

A girl said hit me durring sex so I hit her. I hit her in a way that would shake her and hurt maybe even but wouldn't bruise or injure.

 

I then told the girl to hit me. She slapped in the face in a way that made my ears ring. I mean I was hearing a loud ringing noise. I'm lucky my jaw didn't break.

 

As the man its your job to to be sexually satisfied! Believe it and live it.

[oaks]

So Im 25, and in all the hookups Ive had, or girlfriends, or whatever...Ive had some good sex here and there, but never mind blowing amazing sex that I hear my friends and others talk about sometimes.

 

Something always seems to be missing and it makes me wonder if most girls are not up to task in bed.

 

I'll take a guess that the things missing include good, open, honest communication (which takes two people - not just, for example, you saying what you want), trust and practice (including trial and error, which will include some bad sex). Oh, and lube.

[kaylan]

I've found I enjoy sex more when I'm the one being ..um.. ridden? to use your turn of phrase. I assume it is the same way for my bf, when you can just lay back and enjoy you're going to feel better. It's important to switch it up though and make sure everyone's doing their part -- and ew, I've heard a lot of my guy friends talk about girls just laying there, who does that? blech.

 

I only want to caution you about your expectations going into sex -- if you are looking for amazing, great isn't going to ever satisfy you.

So does that mean you dislike being on top?

 

And yes, A LOT of women just lay there on the bottom. Some rock there hips more than others, but its such a turn off. It gives off the attitude that sex is something they let men do to them and not something we do together. So annoying.

 

And the thing about looking for amazing or great sex, is that Ive never truly felt super satisfied afterwards, despite if the sex was good or decent. Girls need to know that just because I came, does not mean it was great sex. Theres a difference between busting a nut and an orgasm. And ive only truly had best orgasms during masturbation or when my last ex gave me oral.

There's bad sex, decent sex, great sex and mind blowing sex. The mind blowing sex happens rarely.

 

Why don't you communicate you're sexual desires to these girls? Tell them that you want to be man handled and you want them to take control. Maybe they don't know you want it that way. Most women aren't super sexually aggressive on their own. And what woman just "lays there" during sex? Hahahahahaha that's horrible. Why even have sex?

 

Hell at least you're getting laid. A lot of the men on this forum have never had sex or have gone months or years without it. Be thankful you're getting ass even if it is mediocre.

I always communicate. I even let them know what I like way before sex. We have open talks about what we like and dislike. Sometimes they talk a big game and its decent, or sometimes I see the girl kinda take a step back because she knows shes the type of girl I get bored with sexually.

 

Most women arent aggressive sexually because it seems society raises women to be all reserved about sex. Too many women with hang ups vs the amount of men with them. I dont get it.

 

And sure I get laid if I need to, but I have dry spells too. Albeit voluntary because im picky. Like in the past I have prolonged my dry spells because I decided to not have sex with willing girls for one reason or another. Either she seemed to be lacking in passion or assertiveness, which turned me off and made me think shed be a dead lay.

 

Or she had some hang up and/or seemed sexually selfish. Like this one girl I hooked up with twice who had no problem with me going down, but didnt reciprocate, and still wanted sex after the fact. I was just turned off by that, especially since she did not seem fiery at all. It all seemed like I was just there to please her when sex is about two people.

 

Also if the kissing stays bland even after I try to communicate what I like, I dont get in the mood either. I guess you are right that I have it better than some guys on this forum, but sex really isnt hard to get in general. Its just hard to get from the women I really want and feel who would satisfy me the most.

The only common factor in all these hook-ups and relationships is you.

 

How do you communicate your desire? Do you state very specifically," I want you to do this?" Do you show them how you would like to pleased? Did you tell them," I like X and Y."

 

Furthermore, you seem very concerned about YOUR pleasure. Where's your concern for the girl's pleasure? Have you made sure that SHE'S having an enjoyable time? (And by "made sure," I mean "Have you asked specifically what she would like you to do to her"?)

I communicate A LOT about my sexual desires. I am a very sexual guy, and love to please a woman, but it turns me on very much to be with a woman who loves pleasing me as well.

 

Like I said before, it seems society molds women to grow up with sexual hang ups, because men tend to be wayyyy more open and considerate about sex from what Ive seen and heard. Maybe not and I have just met the wrong girls.

 

And I do try and show girls stuff. But sometimes you need that innate passion going. And some girls even after I try a lot, just seem to laid back or not as concerned about my needs as I am theirs.

 

And I ALWAYS ask a girl what she likes. I am usually down town doing my thing on a girl way before anything else lol. I always ask her for tips on what she likes since every woman is different. Or I ask simple yes and no questions if she cant formulate sentences or phrases in the heat of the moment. I pride myself on being a considerate lover.

 

Are the girls you are dating under 25?

 

At 35 I am much more open sexually then I was at 25. And I have been with the same man this whole time.

 

Maybe try someone a little older? I think many women are self conscious in bed, so it takes some time to get them to open up.

 

Your "Hit me" command may be turning them off. I like it when my husband talks dirty to me, but that's because I am 100% comfortable with him. If you try that too soon, it may weird them out.

 

Women come out of their shell when they feel comfortable and free. If they feel pressured in any way, or used, they will not be as willing to try new things.

Yes they are under 25. I am most attracted to women younger than me, but am open to older women. The problem is older women never seem to be into me, and plus are at different stages of life than me. Women over their mid 20s are usually looking to settle down soon or want a guy whos settled into adult life already. I just graduated Uni in August and am still trying to find a job so I can move out, so they all prolly look at me as a kid. Though Im sure I could def have some fun with them.

 

And I hate how self conscious young women are. Like really, why does it take most women until the age of thirty to open up? I am in my sexual prime NOW...ugh lol...I want a confident and sexy young gal my age. Is that too much to ask?

 

And about my "hit me" command. I only do this after having spoken to a girl about it before hand. As I said up top, I communicate my likes and dislikes before sex usually...while we are getting to know one another I let things be known usually...I have never just sprung it on a girl because I know id be off guard myself if it were to happen to me.

[kaylan]

A girl said hit me durring sex so I hit her. I hit her in a way that would shake her and hurt maybe even but wouldn't bruise or injure.

 

I then told the girl to hit me. She slapped in the face in a way that made my ears ring. I mean I was hearing a loud ringing noise. I'm lucky my jaw didn't break.

 

As the man its your job to to be sexually satisfied! Believe it and live it.

Lmao. When I want to be hit or grabbed, I mean like your first example. I want to feel it and maybe for it to sting just a bit...sometimes not even.

 

But I dont want to be injured...ringing ears? Turn off lmao

 

Broken jaw? No thanks lmao

[lululucy]

So does that mean you dislike being on top?

 

And yes, A LOT of women just lay there on the bottom. Some rock there hips more than others, but its such a turn off. It gives off the attitude that sex is something they let men do to them and not something we do together. So annoying.

 

And the thing about looking for amazing or great sex, is that Ive never truly felt super satisfied afterwards, despite if the sex was good or decent. Girls need to know that just because I came, does not mean it was great sex. Theres a difference between busting a nut and an orgasm. And ive only truly had best orgasms during masturbation or when my last ex gave me oral.

 

I mean it takes me three times longer to come when I'm on top. I'm usually concentrating more on what he wants and how it feels for him and forget to handle my own business. Not that I mind of course, I'm happy to do it for my bf but in terms of pure physical enjoyment, I definitely prefer other positions.

[kaylan]

Me thinks you did not read my post with comprehension. My wants are very much vanilla in regards to sex. Nothing out of the ordinary.

 

Aside for slapping or biting or anything like that (which is very common anyways), I have yet to find a girl who seems truly passionate and loves to give as much as receive during sex.

 

That was my main concern.

[Janesays]

I regularly bite my boyfriend hard enough to leave bruises and i've left scratches on his back. Been know to pinch, squeeze, pin him down....but i've never just came right out and HIT him. I think I'd be confused by that request, personally.

[kaylan]

Dont see how its any different from hard biting. You leave bruises on top of that...im not asking to be bruised.

 

Just a rough smacking grab on my chest or shoulders...and a light smack across the cheek...nothing major lol

 

I cant see how thats confusing if you leave bruises on a guy yourself =P

[ditzchic]

One of my exes was a lot like you. He wanted to be pleased. He was more passive in bed and, I'm pretty sure, got off on the idea that I wanted him so badly I would just saddle up and do all the work. And ya know, in the beginning I was good with that. I usually tend to be a bit submissive in bed so it was a nice change of pace the first 2 or 3 times.

 

It got boring really quick though. And his submissive style of foreplay didn't do much for me as well. He just wanted to lay there and have me crawl up on his lap and go to town. FOR THE BIRDS!! I mean really, I totally got how guys complain about the girls that just lay there. That's kinda how this dude was. I'm not a very good actor. I couldn't pretend I was into it anymore. Our sex life went down hill at an avalanche pace.

 

I guess it all comes down to sexual compatibility. We weren't. I wanted to be taken just as much as he did. It wasn't happening for me so it wasn't happening for him either.

 

Don't worry kay. You'll find her eventually

[Janesays]

Well, the biting isn't something he requests. It's more something that I do in the heat of the moment. For example, during very intense pleasure, I react by biting down. Thankfully, my boyfriend enjoys this, mostly, I suspect, because he knows i'm only doing it because he's rocking my world.

 

The slapping, on the other hand, isn't something that would come naturally to me so I suspect it would be forced and awkward. I'd probably still do it, but like I said, I'd be confused by the request.

[Ruby Slippers]

Have you had real feelings for any of your sexual partners? I love some good old-fashioned banging as much as anyone, but when you really care about the person, especially if you're truly in love with them, the pleasure just skyrockets. And most women don't go truly buck wild in bed until they've fallen for the guy.

[El Brujo]

I wonder if the OP has tried a Fleshlight, or some kind of mechanical vag?

 

Or at the very least, gotten his hands on some amyl nitrite?

[kaylan]

One of my exes was a lot like you. He wanted to be pleased. He was more passive in bed and, I'm pretty sure, got off on the idea that I wanted him so badly I would just saddle up and do all the work. And ya know, in the beginning I was good with that. I usually tend to be a bit submissive in bed so it was a nice change of pace the first 2 or 3 times.

 

It got boring really quick though. And his submissive style of foreplay didn't do much for me as well. He just wanted to lay there and have me crawl up on his lap and go to town. FOR THE BIRDS!! I mean really, I totally got how guys complain about the girls that just lay there. That's kinda how this dude was. I'm not a very good actor. I couldn't pretend I was into it anymore. Our sex life went down hill at an avalanche pace.

 

I guess it all comes down to sexual compatibility. We weren't. I wanted to be taken just as much as he did. It wasn't happening for me so it wasn't happening for him either.

 

Don't worry kay. You'll find her eventually

I want it to be even. Sometimes one of us is the dominate one, sometimes one of us is the submissive one. Or sometimes we are both just clawing at one another, or sometimes we are both subdued. I love being in charge, but not all the time, so Ive had situations like the one you described.

 

I want a girl whos confident and sexually aggressive. Someone who has no problem initiating...that if she wants me shell grab me hard and tell me so and then we will have at it. Thats sexy, but most girls seem to always rely on me to make the moves or chase. Men like to feel wanted too dammit lol.

 

 

Well, the biting isn't something he requests. It's more something that I do in the heat of the moment. For example, during very intense pleasure, I react by biting down. Thankfully, my boyfriend enjoys this, mostly, I suspect, because he knows i'm only doing it because he's rocking my world.

 

The slapping, on the other hand, isn't something that would come naturally to me so I suspect it would be forced and awkward. I'd probably still do it, but like I said, I'd be confused by the request.

I guess it just depends on the person. Ive been with girls who I had to be super gentle with and werent even fans of biting.

 

Boring...meh

 

I just like heat of the moment rough stuff. My ex was half my size at 5'2 and 100 lbs, but had no problem slamming me against a door, grabbing me as hard as she could and initiating so fun times when the mood struck.

 

 

Have you had real feelings for any of your sexual partners? I love some good old-fashioned banging as much as anyone, but when you really care about the person, especially if you're truly in love with them, the pleasure just skyrockets. And most women don't go truly buck wild in bed until they've fallen for the guy.

Ive had true emotional feelings for a few of them. It does make the sex feel better for me if thats the case. So I understand what you are saying. Duly noted.

I wonder if the OP has tried a Fleshlight, or some kind of mechanical vag?

 

Or at the very least, gotten his hands on some amyl nitrite?

???

 

Im good. My hand is good enough. I dont need to waste money on masturbatory aids.

[ditzchic]

 

I want a girl whos confident and sexually aggressive. Someone who has no problem initiating...that if she wants me shell grab me hard and tell me so and then we will have at it. Thats sexy, but most girls seem to always rely on me to make the moves or chase. Men like to feel wanted too dammit lol.

 

 

 

Most girls (not total whores) take some time to feel comfortable enough to be the aggressor. It's kind of engrained in our DNA. It's easy with a one night stand or a random to lose all inhibitions but when it comes to someone we are trying to impress in the early dating stages that kind of girl is a rarity. Unless there's alcohol involved. Make sure alcohol is involved. lol.

 

Bottom line: Don't write the girls off so quickly. We save our best for guys that we are in love with.

[kaylan]

Make sure alcohol is involved. lol.

 

 

Lmao...alcohol....but of course xD

[Wolf18]

The favorite position of most women under 25 is "the dead girl", lay back and let the man do all the work. But give em a few drinks, and some of them go crazy.

 

Edit: didn't read the thread, ditzchic beat me to it

[colliejoanie]

When I was younger, the ONLY way I would let myself go during sex is if I felt completely comfortable. Younger women are insecure (for the most part) about sex.

 

Now.....GAME ON

[Lonely Ronin]

If you both don't mind doing some work, this one is really enjoyable and intimate.

 

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/sex-positions?pos=4

 

This one allows maximum penetration. I actually had my one ear ring for a day from this one, but that was from her screaming in it.

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/sex-positions?pos=29