conehead Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 I've only been with my bf 1.5 months but we see each other nearly everyday and he tells me how special I am to him etc all the time, he treats me really well n takes good care of me. Over the weekend we went on a weekend vacation together n met up with his friend and his friends 5-year girlfriend (call her A). This is the first time I've met any of his friends, though my bf mentioned he quite a lot of friends who are girls. My bf is really close to his friend n with A. My bf talks to A quite a lot the whole time. At one pt when it was just me n my bf, my bf told me that A is really nice and he told his friend that she's a keeper, so obviously my bf thinks really highly of her. Last nite in front of me my bf told A that she n him will get dessert together...just the two of them that it will be a date...my bf intended it as a joke I think but it made me feel really left out n jealous. He actually used the word date with her. Later that nite A mentioned when she n my bf went to this place a few years ago, she joked it was just two of them n they got 'stuck' in this alley for awhile. I found these so called joke very hurtful to me...and it has bothered me since. Based on what I know A has only been with my bf's friend n she never dated my bf before, but their exchanges has really made my heart sank. Since I've only been with my bf 1.5 months I amlost feeling ending things to cut my losses. The jealousy is eating me up inside, what do I do?
Author conehead Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 Anyone? If u were me, would u feel just as crappy?
ditzchic Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 I would probably feel a little insecure about it as well. But try not to let it get the best of you. Don't do anything stupid. If I were you, I would straight up ask him if him and A ever dated. Just be nonchalant about it. Hopefully he's honest with you and you can accept his answer. If after you have that talk you still feel insecure.. drop him. That stuff will just eat at you and get worse.
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 It's hard to read posts written in text-speak. From what I gathered, your boyfriend is acting inappropriately towards you AND towards his friend by flirting with the girlfriend. You are just getting to know him - evidently he likes to flirt. Can you deal with it, or do you choose to?
Author conehead Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 Even if they never dated, what if he has a thing for her? Just their whole flirty interaction really bothers me
CocoaBrown Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Hmmm. This would bother me too. I don't think its appropriate to flirt like that if you are together. I would talk to him about it. Ask "What did you mean when you said to A you would go out for dessert and it would be a date?" See what he says and if he says oh baby I was just joking let him know that you are uncomfortable with jokes like that and although you can accept the fact him and A are friends you don't want him to do it again.
CocoaBrown Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Even if they never dated, what if he has a thing for her? Just their whole flirty interaction really bothers me If he has a thing for her it's best to know now then later on down the road don't you think? It will hurt, but you could ask him if he likes her or if he has ever liked her more then a friend.
norajane Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 How does his friend (the one who is dating A for five years) react to the joking? I would think HE would be the one who would be upset if there were anything behind it.
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 There is almost no point in asking him because he is surely not going to say: "Yep, I have had a thing for her for years". I would feel worried but probably not worried enough to break things off. Just observe closely.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 You cant compare your relationship with him to relationships that he had for years. They have hangout history, and chemistry, that you will eventually have with him, but it takes time. SO you cant be jealous of what they have when you didnt build anything with him yet. Dont worry about it, you two will have stories that will make her feel left out soon enough, you just have to have the experiences. Now if you think he flirts with her in a way that he doesnt flirt with you, then you have a case.
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