singlelife Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 I went to drinks with a ladie who asked me out last week. It wound up being me, her, her bff, and her gay best friend. I'm sure they were scoping me out. we drank for a couple of hours and seemed to have a good time then they all left at 9. I stayed til close. When she left we set up a date for sat and she gave me a few hugs and said she was looking forward to it. I texted her thanking her for inviting me then she replied that she didn't trust me or think I got to know her so we wouldn't be going out. I was disappointed but moved on in like 5 min. Then she called me the next am at 6 back to back. we had a bad connection or something. I didn't think of it and moved on. Since then she has commented on like 8 of my fb statuses flirting. She even texted me nite this past wkend. What is up with her. I don't even like her anymore.
ditzchic Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 She was dissappointed you moved on so quickly. She thought she was playing hard to get and that you would chase her. Now she is just playing games with you. Don't bite. It isn't going anywhere.
KathyM Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 It's sounds like she's afraid to meet you one-on-one, which is why she felt the need to bring her posse with her on the "date" with you. She obviously has trust issues, and you are probably wise to stay clear of her. Just tell her when she contacts you that you don't feel there is a potential for a connection between you, so you'll let her go. If she presses you on why you are breaking off contact, let her know that you think she has trust issues, and you're not inclined to deal with that.
Author singlelife Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 She was dissappointed you moved on so quickly. She thought she was playing hard to get and that you would chase her. Now she is just playing games with you. Don't bite. It isn't going anywhere. I'm not biting. However I will tell her she needs to quit contacting me if she keeps it up. Sounds like her little ego got bruised. News flash...if you say you don't want a guy then if you want us to take you serious we listen to what you say. Interesting.
Author singlelife Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 It's sounds like she's afraid to meet you one-on-one, which is why she felt the need to bring her posse with her on the "date" with you. She obviously has trust issues, and you are probably wise to stay clear of her. Just tell her when she contacts you that you don't feel there is a potential for a connection between you, so you'll let her go. If she presses you on why you are breaking off contact, let her know that you think she has trust issues, and you're not inclined to deal with that. Gotcha. Great advise. but one question...why does she keep contacting? It would make sense to leave me alone.
Soxfaninfl Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 I went to drinks with a ladie who asked me out last week. It wound up being me, her, her bff, and her gay best friend. I'm sure they were scoping me out. we drank for a couple of hours and seemed to have a good time then they all left at 9. I stayed til close. When she left we set up a date for sat and she gave me a few hugs and said she was looking forward to it. I texted her thanking her for inviting me then she replied that she didn't trust me or think I got to know her so we wouldn't be going out. I was disappointed but moved on in like 5 min. Then she called me the next am at 6 back to back. we had a bad connection or something. I didn't think of it and moved on. Since then she has commented on like 8 of my fb statuses flirting. She even texted me nite this past wkend. What is up with her. I don't even like her anymore. This one is crazy. She doesn't know what she wants.
lululucy Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Gotcha. Great advise. but one question...why does she keep contacting? It would make sense to leave me alone. I think she's conflicted, she wants your attention but she is too afraid to trust someone. She wants a knight in shining armour who will make her believe in love again blah blah freaking blah. Maybe she really did like you but when she left with her friends, they talked her out of it and convinced her to send that text, and now she's regretting listening to them over herself and now she wants to bring you back in. Either way, good dodge. Kathy has good advice about how to go about telling her to bugger off without causing more drama.
KathyM Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Gotcha. Great advise. but one question...why does she keep contacting? It would make sense to leave me alone. It's possible she wants to get to know you and keep contact, but she's afraid to go out with you one-on-one for some reason, so she wants to keep communicating through Emails, texts, or phone conversations for awhile before she'd feel comfortable enough to go out with you alone. Sounds like she has trust issues with men in general.
Author singlelife Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 I think she's conflicted, she wants your attention but she is too afraid to trust someone. She wants a knight in shining armour who will make her believe in love again blah blah freaking blah. Maybe she really did like you but when she left with her friends, they talked her out of it and convinced her to send that text, and now she's regretting listening to them over herself and now she wants to bring you back in. Either way, good dodge. Kathy has good advice about how to go about telling her to bugger off without causing more drama. Well if she liked me she should have been woman enough to do with how she felt. Now there's no chance ( men, read this thread and take notes; ladies, read this thread and understand where you mess up). I just never got the chance to know her to want to pursue her that way after all this. And if her friends don't like me it's best we didn't follow up anyway. It never works out if the friends have that much pull. After all you're trying to date the woman not the group of friends.
lululucy Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Well if she liked me she should have been woman enough to do with how she felt. ... And if her friends don't like me it's best we didn't follow up anyway. It never works out if the friends have that much pull. After all you're trying to date the woman not the group of friends. She should've at least given you clear signals, yeah. And any girl who lets her friends dictate who she should or shouldn't date is not someone you want to be with. I have a friend who is like that in a way -- she shows our mutual friend a picture of any guy she's gone on a date with or slept with and if our other friend says anything that implies she doesn't think he's attractive/whatever, he gets dumped. It's ridiculous and one of the many reasons this girl is going to be single for a long time.
Author singlelife Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 It's possible she wants to get to know you and keep contact, but she's afraid to go out with you one-on-one for some reason, so she wants to keep communicating through Emails, texts, or phone conversations for awhile before she'd feel comfortable enough to go out with you alone. Sounds like she has trust issues with men in general. I'm not gonna keep talking to someone who's ballsy enough to say she doesn't trust me.
Author singlelife Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 She should've at least given you clear signals, yeah. And any girl who lets her friends dictate who she should or shouldn't date is not someone you want to be with. I have a friend who is like that in a way -- she shows our mutual friend a picture of any guy she's gone on a date with or slept with and if our other friend says anything that implies she doesn't think he's attractive/whatever, he gets dumped. It's ridiculous and one of the many reasons this girl is going to be single for a long time. Seems clear to me. We aren't compatible to date, be friends, or anything. I'm not sure she even wants me now, but it's funny to think in her mind she can keep texting like we're buds all of a sudden.
CocoaBrown Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 First of all why did she invite her friends on your date? LOL That's just weird. Second, I think her response saying she didn't trust you is weird too unless you were just cuttin' up that night! lol It think she wanted you to chase her. I cracked up when you said you moved on in 5 minutes. She probably wanted you to say "Ohhhh lets just meet. Give me a chance I'm a good guy." Uh uh she is playing games. If she wasn't interested and doesn't trust you why contact you at all? I don't contact men I don't trust. Cut all ties. Don't answer your phone or respond to texts. Take her off your Facebook too!
fishtaco Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Does she look like this? Haha! That's funny. It certainly portrays a lot of women I've run across during my single days. Had a chick that brought a friend on our first date. I told her fine, then this is not a date. And I was nice and hung out with her and her friend. Almost got another woman's number right there in front of her, but I wasn't interested in the woman, I'd be doing it just to be a jerk (which ironically would have made my "date" even more interested in me), so I decided to be nice and didn't do it. Then after the "date" ended amicably, I vanished. No reason was given, nor was it necessary. All we had was this first date that wasn't even a real date. No one owes anyone anything. So the fact that she even showed up with her posse would be a deal breaker for me. If you don't have the confidence to date, then you lose. Too bad. There's no baby sitting.
phineas Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 It does sound like she wanted to you to chase & you screwed it all up. LOL!
Author singlelife Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 First of all why did she invite her friends on your date? LOL That's just weird. Second, I think her response saying she didn't trust you is weird too unless you were just cuttin' up that night! lol It think she wanted you to chase her. I cracked up when you said you moved on in 5 minutes. She probably wanted you to say "Ohhhh lets just meet. Give me a chance I'm a good guy." Uh uh she is playing games. If she wasn't interested and doesn't trust you why contact you at all? I don't contact men I don't trust. Cut all ties. Don't answer your phone or respond to texts. Take her off your Facebook too! It actually wasn't a date. She invited me out to drink with her and her friends. But she had been flirting on fb before that. Then she would smile and tell me how hot I was when she saw me. Then she hugged me and put her tits on me before she left the bar. She kept saying how we were goingg to go kick it before we ever went out to drink.
Author singlelife Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 It actually wasn't a date. She invited me out to drink with her and her friends. But she had been flirting on fb before that. Then she would smile and tell me how hot I was when she saw me. Then she hugged me and put her tits on me before she left the bar. She kept saying how we were goingg to go kick it before we ever went out to drink. I think it was a feel out thing on the first get together then set it up for later. Anyway...she's obviously not a good communicator.
Author singlelife Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 Haha! That's funny. It certainly portrays a lot of women I've run across during my single days. Had a chick that brought a friend on our first date. I told her fine, then this is not a date. And I was nice and hung out with her and her friend. Almost got another woman's number right there in front of her, but I wasn't interested in the woman, I'd be doing it just to be a jerk (which ironically would have made my "date" even more interested in me), so I decided to be nice and didn't do it. Then after the "date" ended amicably, I vanished. No reason was given, nor was it necessary. All we had was this first date that wasn't even a real date. No one owes anyone anything. So the fact that she even showed up with her posse would be a deal breaker for me. If you don't have the confidence to date, then you lose. Too bad. There's no baby sitting. Excellent point.
thatone Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 I have a friend who is like that in a way -- she shows our mutual friend a picture of any guy she's gone on a date with or slept with and if our other friend says anything that implies she doesn't think he's attractive/whatever, he gets dumped. It's ridiculous and one of the many reasons this girl is going to be single for a long time. you should see one whose mother is that way. ex gf is like that. needless to say her and her 5 siblings are all still single at 30 to 40 despite being from the big catholic family where weddings and grandkids are the pinnacle of achievement. an achievement that none of them will ever have because they can't get away from their mother.
irc333 Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 It's sounds like she's afraid to meet you one-on-one, which is why she felt the need to bring her posse with her on the "date" with you. She obviously has trust issues, and you are probably wise to stay clear of her. Just tell her when she contacts you that you don't feel there is a potential for a connection between you, so you'll let her go. If she presses you on why you are breaking off contact, let her know that you think she has trust issues, and you're not inclined to deal with that. Why not go out with her, if she's not into you, you have your options with the Posse' LOL Anyway, just go have fun, enjoy yourself, don't think too much into it. I find that going out in a social setting iwth groups of people, and you're able to have fun....that will make you attractive...if not to her, to her other friends.
Author singlelife Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 Why not go out with her, if she's not into you, you have your options with the Posse' LOL Anyway, just go have fun, enjoy yourself, don't think too much into it. I find that going out in a social setting iwth groups of people, and you're able to have fun....that will make you attractive...if not to her, to her other friends. I have fun and go out regularly anyway. She knows this. I think that is why she has been contacting me. I agree with past posters that she was being wishy washy and seen me out kicking it and seeing people flirt with me on fb and she wants to be part of it. Too late though. My best female friend told me it was crazy today when we went out for drinks. Ladies...hope you learn from this.
CocoaBrown Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 It actually wasn't a date. She invited me out to drink with her and her friends. But she had been flirting on fb before that. Then she would smile and tell me how hot I was when she saw me. Then she hugged me and put her tits on me before she left the bar. She kept saying how we were goingg to go kick it before we ever went out to drink. Oh ok I must have misread something.
Author singlelife Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 The part that was weird is how she was all on me before we went out then still contacting me after saying she has no interest. Obviously a wacko.
Author singlelife Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 It does sound like she wanted to you to chase & you screwed it all up. LOL! Sorry lol. That makes little to no sense to me. Doesn't a person have to get to know you better to want to chase you first.
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