jobaba Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 On the subject of having 'feelings' for someone... We all know what it's like to have 'those feelings' for someone. You think about them all the time and can't get them out of your head. You fantasize about sharing time with them, have dreams about them, and kiss your pillow while ... well, you get the point. I have had very strong feelings like this only a handful of times in my life. Three of the women friendzoned me, one I had a long term and ill fated relationship with, and another was what I would consider a very strong crush (even though we did know each other, it wasn't well). Anyway, on analyzing why these feelings come up, and what the common thread is between the women I have developed these feelings for, I realized there are none except for maybe physical attraction. In conclusion, I think these feelings are arbitrary, purely emotional, trifling and overall ... dumb.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 As much I hate to admit, I'm in love with the idea of falling in love. I usually follow the lead of guys who shows interest in me first. Bad move. I'm becoming pickier over the years though. Physical attraction can make me swoon but I've become more cautious in terms of brains over brawns.
HughHardcastle Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 You only think it's dumb because none of the times it has happened have worked out. You won't think the same if the girl ends up feeling the exact same way about you, and it all works out.
lululucy Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 You only think it's dumb because none of the times it has happened have worked out. You won't think the same if the girl ends up feeling the exact same way about you, and it all works out. Exactly. Heartbreak is awful but being in love is amazing.
ZimboGon Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Dude, love is awesome haha. My last ex, i was totally in love with her. The thing is, she was really cute at first. But she didn't become beautiful until 8 months in or so, because at that point it didn't matter. I had fallen for her, and nothing else mattered or could change my mind. I would have done anything to protect her and make her happy. She was the first thing i thought about when i woke up and the last thing before i slept. When i sit around watching tv alone, i feel like i'm wasting time. When i'm doing it with her, it feels completely the opposite. It didn't work out, she left me for another guy after some events, long story, but... I still have warm feelings for her and everything that happened. So right now at this point, either i find someone who can commit as much as i can, or she comes to her senses sometime in the future. But either way, i regret nothing. I saw some SEXY girls when i was with my ex, but i didn't care. The emotional connection was what hooked me.
Author jobaba Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 As much I hate to admit, I'm in love with the idea of falling in love. I usually follow the lead of guys who shows interest in me first. Bad move. I'm becoming pickier over the years though. Physical attraction can make me swoon but I've become more cautious in terms of brains over brawns. Exactly. Heartbreak is awful but being in love is amazing. Dude, love is awesome haha. My last ex, i was totally in love with her. The thing is, she was really cute at first. But she didn't become beautiful until 8 months in or so, because at that point it didn't matter. I had fallen for her, and nothing else mattered or could change my mind. I would have done anything to protect her and make her happy. She was the first thing i thought about when i woke up and the last thing before i slept. When i sit around watching tv alone, i feel like i'm wasting time. When i'm doing it with her, it feels completely the opposite. That's the thing. What you guys call love, I call a stupid, illogical potion of emotions conjured up probably by the same part of your brain that gets a rush from jumping off a cliff with a rubber band tied to your foot. Love is supposed to be based on mutual trust and respect. Two people who are reliable and good to each other. Love is not pining for somebody and thinking daily about somebody who could care less if you got hit by a bus, or staying in a relationship with somebody who abuses you mentally (or physically) because you have this stupid set of emotions and feelings that you 'think' is love...:love:
lululucy Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Love is supposed to be based on mutual trust and respect. Two people who are reliable and good to each other. Love is not pining for somebody and thinking daily about somebody who could care less if you got hit by a bus, or staying in a relationship with somebody who abuses you mentally (or physically) because you have this stupid set of emotions and feelings that you 'think' is love...:love: Yes. Loving someone who does not reciprocate is the worst feeling I've ever experienced. Loving someone who loves you back is the best feeling I've ever experienced. I hope you find that one day and don't fall into the sad place that several men on LS are at -- where their bitterness at having been "passed over" destroys any respect they have for love, and further reinforces their distance from ever finding it. I'm not saying that love is without pain, or that love will always work out. A lot of the time it doesn't. But no matter how many times my heart is broken, I know there will be another person I can love who can love me out there.
Author jobaba Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 Yes. Loving someone who does not reciprocate is the worst feeling I've ever experienced. Loving someone who loves you back is the best feeling I've ever experienced. I hope you find that one day and don't fall into the sad place that several men on LS are at -- where their bitterness at having been "passed over" destroys any respect they have for love, and further reinforces their distance from ever finding it. I'm not saying that love is without pain, or that love will always work out. A lot of the time it doesn't. But no matter how many times my heart is broken, I know there will be another person I can love who can love me out there. What you describe as love, I don't consider love. I call it 'weird feelings' or a 'mega crush'. Whatever you want to call it. It's just not my definition of love (at least when I'm sober ). Mine is practical and tangible. She's reliable, smart, and funny, so I love her (all hypothetical). And there's no such thing as unreciprocated love, because mutual respect has to be there. Perhaps I am this way because of years and years of rejection. But I really think it's a better to place. Relationships based on 'feelings' and emotion are fated to crash and burn. Using gut and emotional feelings to describe 'love', a particular woman could have 200 men 'in love' with her in 6 months and a particular man could have had zero women 'in love' with him in his lifetime. Not my definition...
lululucy Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 But I really think it's a better to place. Relationships based on 'feelings' and emotion are fated to crash and burn. Using gut and emotional feelings to describe 'love', a particular woman could have 200 men 'in love' with her in 6 months and a particular man could have had zero women 'in love' with him in his lifetime. Not my definition... That just leads me to believe that you haven't felt in-love before. You can't just collect people in love with you -- you can collect lust, sure, but not love. I don't agree that relationships based on feelings/emotions are fated to fail but I concede that relationships based SOLELY on feelings/emotions are. I was in love with my ex when I broke up with him and for months after. We didn't stay together because I knew we were incompatible. Love doesn't conquer all but damn if it doesn't try.
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