solong123 Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 I Had a good weekend going out meeting people and overall just happy. Then i wake up this morning with an overwhelming sense of depression. Its only 8 in the morning and ive cried like 3 times. How can i go from happy to this? I really just hate him so much.. * * * ** *
Philosoraptor Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 It happens to everyone. You can't expect something random to completely take away all of the possible pain in your heart. You are doing good though if you had a good time this weekend. Just focus on the fact that you can do that and that you aren't a broken person just because a relationship ended. Give up the hate though as it will only cause you to hurt longer. Instead of hating him take that energy and love yourself more
broken-and-lost Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 It's always hard when you been enjoying yourself to then next day when your alone again feel terrible, if you been drinking alcohol then it's a depressant anyway so will make you feel worse for a few days Just don't take it as a set back
SelfCentered Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 (edited) I Had a good weekend going out meeting people and overall just happy. Then i wake up this morning with an overwhelming sense of depression. Its only 8 in the morning and ive cried like 3 times. How can i go from happy to this? I really just hate him so much.. * * * ** * Join the club! From around Tuesday last week onwards, I was pretty bloody content with everything and enjoying myself. Then yesterday I woke up totally depressed, ended up having an anxiety attack at the gym and had to rush home before I started crying. Felt awful. Today- not as bad. Not as great as I have been either. It's just a peaks and troughs thing unfortunately. I'm learning to accept that. Also learning to accept the bad when it comes and not think I've taken two steps back. You'll be fine. If I can do it, anyone can. Edited December 19, 2011 by SelfCentered
ScienceGal Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 I woke up with anxiety and stress that I could feel in my chest. I stumbled to the shower fully knowing it was going to be one of 'those days'. I'm completely unmotivated and sad. This happens off and on for me. The best advice I can give is to let yourself cry when you feel like it. Just let it all out. Then pick yourself up and do something. I always make myself go to the gym because it makes me feel good, if even temporarily.
melenkurion Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 I'm afraid the first few months might be something of a roller-coaster... I vividly remember going from feeling like I was on top of the world, to being in the very depths of despair, often for no particular reason. There'd be triggers, but my reactions to them were way OTT. I think one thing that happens is that small stuff you would otherwise react to more equitably causes bigger peaks for the good stuff, and bigger troughs for things that would barely bother you when you are at your best. And then came the anger, and the roller-coaster got even more fun The time of year probably isn't helping you, so that's worth bearing in mind. Be kind to yourself.
Thieves Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 Why do you feel worse? Well... others are right that sometimes, it's going to get a bit worse before it gets better. That's not to say you won't have plenty of good moments and days -- like the weekend you had -- where you're not completely taken over by the negative feelings of love lost. It's interesting, because when it comes to life after a break-up and learning to move on properly, we tend to be a lot harder on ourselves than we should. I kind of call it the Snowball Effect. It's when a person is going through a tough time, it automatically feels like the world is down on them and nothing else is going like it should either. First off, it helps to know that human beings are naturally 'fixers'. This also means that when rougher seas emerge, they tend to overwhelm themselves by thinking of everything that's not going right in their life (rather than positively thinking of what's actually going good for them), and the problems that they have to 'fix'. So, let's say you just broke up with your boyfriend. You're sitting there that night thinking about that... and then you start to think about your job too, which you feel that you're not happy with, your friends (who you may not be satisfied with at the moment), plus your car broke down in the middle of nowhere earlier for four hours, plus you received a low grade on a paper you just turned in, plus you're getting sick with a cold and you feel like crap... and so on. Snowballing all your smaller problems that usually wouldn't bother you so much until it just equals into a plain 'bad day'. Honestly, the best thing you can do is learn not to do this, because you're not helping yourself at all. Truth is, we're all going to have those kind of days, and of course when you're heartbroken, at first there seems to be more of them. But once you get further into your healing and start feeling that you can do this, I can really say that the bad days get much easier to deal with. You start learning to just take them as that: bad days. It doesn't cancel out all the good days you've had, and it doesn't mean it'll always be like this.
clementyne Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 i've been feeling pretty much the same. sometimes i just feel numb and empty but force myself to get through the day somehow - and i manage it with a lot of effort - but lately i've been bursting into tears without any rhyme or reason. don't know what triggers it - could be a song or just a thought or a peek at his fb - and suddenly i'm breaking down and sobbing my heart out and then i can barely do anything except lie in bed, frozen and blank, gazing hopelessly into the darkness for hours. the PAIN at those times is the most excruciating thing i have ever felt in my life and the depression that follows crushes me down into a cold, dark and lonely hell.
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