rd1978 Posted May 30, 2004 Posted May 30, 2004 need some advice,,, been broken up for a month now, 5 year relationship,, i could go on and on but im going to make it as simple as possible,, i told her if she cant be with me then we cannot talk,,, she has this little problem where she seems tot hink that its ok for her to do what she wants but not me,, i think she just doesnt want to lose me forever,,she said it but thats bullcrap,,,so anyway i said you do whatever you need to not call me,, email me or write me online,,, so keep in mind she has already had some dates with this other guy by this point in time,, so for 4 days after that she called me every mornign and night ,, but i didnt awnser,, i feel like if i awnser then she has HER COMFORT BACK ,, then she can remain strong ,, i was honest with her and told her NO GAMES we are 25 ,, so its been like 2 week since her last call then she tried to write me online today but i signed off and didnt respond,,,,, here's the thing i know she loves me she is on some kind of power trip,, new job,, been tanning ,, etc etc,,, just wants to feel like someone different my theory is {what goes up must come down}! im unshure if i want to get back with her,,, maybe we will go out and have our fun and in the future realize,,, who knows,,,,, i m not waiting around ,, but should i awnser her calls when she does call?i,, i want her to miss me but i dont want to be a jerk ,,and ignore her either ,,if it were to ever work she needs to get comfortable with me so im thinking i should awnser and talk to her,, i know she misses me ,,she can only go out and drink so much and and what not before it catches up to her,,,
hurtingandconfused Posted May 30, 2004 Posted May 30, 2004 but should i awnser her calls when she does call? Unless you want to be friends; NO! i want her to miss me but i dont want to be a jerk A jerk for doing exactly what? You're doing the right thing. if it were to ever work she needs to get comfortable with me so im thinking i should awnser and talk to her She knows what you are all about. She does not need to get any more comfortable. just wants to feel like someone different my theory is {what goes up must come down}! Maybe your theory is correct...who knows. Until then live your life as if she will never return; it helps alot.
Author rd1978 Posted May 30, 2004 Author Posted May 30, 2004 she borke it off with me,, i have always had the upperhand i didnt really use it though ,, and i think there was another guy feeding her the crap,, and she started hanging out with him,, she told me she doesnt want to have to worry about anyone,, if someone asks her to hang out she wants to ,, basically just have her fun to a certain extent?we were togethor from 20-25 so i can understand ,, i kinda feel this guy is feeling the voids that we had in our relationship,, but who knows i personally think she needs a reality check,, but she also nees to get the stuff out of her system so she feels she isnt missing out on anything,,,her friends are all single mostly because no one respectable would ever date them,,,she is isnt anything like her friend but might be at the moment....this other {guy} is the thing that annoys me she can be kind of gullible and i dont know what his deal is ,, except he isnt that good looking he's really skinny tall and lanky,,, and i wasnt a fan of the way he dressees, i think its something new to her,,, and he was interested,,,, and gets along with her friends because he seems like that type of person from the way he dressed,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
zoomer Posted May 30, 2004 Posted May 30, 2004 She broke up with you and is still wanting to chat?...Hum....Wants her cake and eat it too....sounds like. Personally I think she's sewing her wild oats and will certainly look back at the mistakes she's made. Maybe that's what she's doing now..I don't know. I would have to give her the room, space, and freedom to be what she wants. You choose your friends. Her "friends" not being of ...let's say... respectful nature, would be concerning to me. Let her go, if it was meant to be...you know the rest of the story. Unfortunately this "other guy" probably has a big factor in her decisions. But if he's the caliber person you think or say he is...his true colors will shine to her one day. She will see how stupid she was. Go on with your life...find someone deserving and be happy. 25 is young but you will turn around and be 40! Trust me, I know...!!!! GOOD LUCK
Author rd1978 Posted May 31, 2004 Author Posted May 31, 2004 i have my days 80% of them are good 20% i still think about her after 5 years i didnt think id be able to just forget ,,,,,,, i personally think she just wanted a change from the ordinary,,,she got a new job ,, been shopping,, she is on some kind of self esteem high,, and yes i think this other kid is def a big factor,, they have been talking for a while,,,, i told her its going to be great hanging out with someone else for a while you dont have to deal with certain crap and your bolth on your best behavior,,,after a couple of months things change,, But i need to let her find that out herself ,, we kinda got int he routine and werent doing much fun stuff..... She was the 1 who was into me 110% i was always the one who would be unshure every so often,,,, between her friends and this kid she walked away but not completly,, untill i asked her not to call anymore,, and i avoided her calls for a week,,,,,, The thing is i know this is the best thing that could happen to many people run off and get serious to quick and thats why the divorce rate is so high because,, people dont get to experience LIFE and might always wonder,, and you also learn a little from each relationship.... I feel that i prob could have worked things out,, its almost as if i had to prove my self to her and things would change,, BUt i would have had a hard time with this other dude in the way,,i wouldnt have been able to be myself,,,,,She is sooo proud of herself for doing this that i knew she would try her best not to get back into anything right away with me,, so i just dont know if i should talk to her next time she trys to get in touch,,,i know she is wondering like crazy what im doing because she hasnt seen me out at the bars ,,and if she saw me with another girl it would kill her ,, even though i saw her with that guy,,,and she tried to make me jelious by holding his hand right in front of me blah blah...thats funny she didnt want to be with me,,,,,i kind just feel if i do talk to her it gives her that comfort,, but i want to her to hear my voice , and maybe see me,, im the 1 relaxing ,, she's trying to push me away by goign to the bars untill all hours and hanging out with this kid and her sloppy friends,, i think its a phase,,, but do i really want an unstable girl like that!!!!im just afraid this guy is totally working her with the words and what not .. and she's eating it up,, i cant wait for there first fight,,right after we broke up i told her how much i cared and i wanted to work things out but she just got more self esteem from her knowing i wanted to be with her,,,,, i think she is almost afraid to call me because she knows i wont awnser,, and or maybe im hanging out with someone else,,,,, so it almost in a way pushes her closer to him because she doesnt want to be alone,, she said,,, i almost want to take some time to think about what i want,,, but my biggest fear is you being with someone else and me being stuck by myself.....so in return she started hanging out with someone else immediatelly after so she wouldnt be stuck by herself.....I just dont want to let her have her cake and eat it to,, But i dont want to push her farther and farther away becaue im ignoring her,, she migh be thinking what could he have possibly have done in a month,, she doesnt want to know,, getting this chicks # tommorrow and im going to start hanging out with her so maybe ill just forget about me ex,, let me remind you i havent and dont call her she is the 1 who trys to contact me,, if we started talking again i know i could prob work it out regardless of this other guy,, if we did start talking im almost 100% shure she would push the other guy away and alsmot stop hanging out with himbut who knows,, any advice would be helpfull
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