Girlfriend is upset whenever she doesn't have my undivided attention, etc.

[chbay]

First let me introduce you to a brief synopsis of us:

 

I'm 21, girlfriend's 19. I love her but she's quite immature when it comes to certain issues, which irks me sometimes but I deal with it.

 

She's really emotionally connected to me and has been talking long term (as in us two saving money and getting our own place 9-12 months from now), among other things, when we've been dating for not even 3 months.

So the two of us see each other 3-4 days a week and we text throughout the day, and talk on the phone almost every night for usually 1-2+ hours.

 

Now I don't usually have the desire to talk for such an extended amount of time with her, given how much we see each other and text. I feel like it's too much. If I'm doing something I'm interested in and don't feel like dropping whatever I'm doing and devote all focus and concentration on her whenever she calls and we talk about what happened to her today.

I don't want to sound like a douche who doesn't enjoy talking to my girlfriend, because I do, but honestly I feel like it's "too much" sometimes. When I'm watching a sports game on TV for instance, and am really into it before she calls me, she always makes me feel guilty by saying "I'm choosing football over her" when I get excited about a play if she happens to be talking about something at the time. Tonight it irritated me when she said this, so I told her I can call her after the game is over so I can give her more of my attention (when, to be honest, I really don't wish to talk to her since I still believe it's a little excessive).

Despite numerous suggestions and subtle hints, she's not at all open-minded into trying things if she's not already interested in it. This bothers me because I sit there and do things with her even though it's not something at the top of my list of "things I wish to be doing right now", but I do it anyway and don't complain. If it were her doing something reluctantly, I feel that I would be made to think that it was torturous. Because "there's more important things she could be doing."

 

I just don't know how rational I am in thinking all of this, which is why I'm asking for some input and guidance.

[Eddie Edirol]

You have to start talking to her in terms of "if we cant compromise on this, were arent going to work." That will make her listen. Keep in mind, you trained her to be this way, you kept giving her the attention, so now she expects it. If you take it away, she might look for the attention elsewhere. So you have to tell her over and over again that you arent losing interet in her, but you do need "me time".

[Emilia]

She is needy and a bit clingy but then she is really young so it's not surprising. She may become more independent when she gets older but there are plenty of people that demand attention from their partners regardless of age.

 

You need to sit her down and talk to her about it and explain that this is too much for you because you feel you give her plenty of time and attention but that you need to have your own time too and she has to respect that. See how she deals with that.