mariss3 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 My ex and I had a great relationship. We were together over 2 and half years and he was my best friend. We saw each other about 2 times a week because of work and school but we always talked. We argued once in a while, like most couples do. The night before everything happened, we had a great night in the city and he kept telling me he loved me and I had an amazing time. The next day he got mad at me for no reason, and started telling me all of my faults and then didn't talk to me for 4 days. We met up and he said he wanted a break. He was crying and told me to trust him and that everything would work out because he loved me more than anything. Two weeks later he texts me saying its over. When I asked what I did wrong he said I never did anything wrong and that things just have changed... I honestly don't know what I did wrong. He said we would stay close and still see each other but I haven't heard from him since. I was always nice, faithful and an all around good girlfriend. I really want him back even though my friends say that he was always mean to me and that I deserve better. But I only want him. I had the best time of my life with him and he was my best friend. How can I make him come back to me, when I don't even know what I did wrong?
chados Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 My ex and I had a great relationship. We were together over 2 and half years and he was my best friend. We saw each other about 2 times a week because of work and school but we always talked. We argued once in a while, like most couples do. The night before everything happened, we had a great night in the city and he kept telling me he loved me and I had an amazing time. The next day he got mad at me for no reason, and started telling me all of my faults and then didn't talk to me for 4 days. We met up and he said he wanted a break. He was crying and told me to trust him and that everything would work out because he loved me more than anything. Two weeks later he texts me saying its over. When I asked what I did wrong he said I never did anything wrong and that things just have changed... I honestly don't know what I did wrong. He said we would stay close and still see each other but I haven't heard from him since. I was always nice, faithful and an all around good girlfriend. I really want him back even though my friends say that he was always mean to me and that I deserve better. But I only want him. I had the best time of my life with him and he was my best friend. How can I make him come back to me, when I don't even know what I did wrong? have you posted this one before? your friends are telling you he's mean? do you think he is?.. how long has it been since your breakup?. it does sound to me that he's feeling guilt for some reason. first he loves you the next day he doesnt? yeah right. maybe he told you he loved you because he wanted to remove some pressure before the breakup. not saying he dont love you. but maybe he isnt "in love" with you. it could be something else involved like cheating.. the best way is to just send him a text... he left you because for some reason he didnt feel that you two should be together, thats all you need to know, text him saying. hi ive been giving a lot of thought into this, and i understand why we broke up. i realize this was actually the best for us both. i dont think its a good idea having contact right now. but maybe we could be friends some day" this is you making distance. and youre not lying. because this is the best for the two of you. when he broke up with you. he said i dont want you anymore, and i dont need you, because thats what a breakup means.
Author mariss3 Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 have you posted this one before? your friends are telling you he's mean? do you think he is?.. how long has it been since your breakup?. it does sound to me that he's feeling guilt for some reason. first he loves you the next day he doesnt? yeah right. maybe he told you he loved you because he wanted to remove some pressure before the breakup. not saying he dont love you. but maybe he isnt "in love" with you. it could be something else involved like cheating.. the best way is to just send him a text... he left you because for some reason he didnt feel that you two should be together, thats all you need to know, text him saying. hi ive been giving a lot of thought into this, and i understand why we broke up. i realize this was actually the best for us both. i dont think its a good idea having contact right now. but maybe we could be friends some day" this is you making distance. and youre not lying. because this is the best for the two of you. when he broke up with you. he said i dont want you anymore, and i dont need you, because thats what a breakup means. We talked and he told me that he wants to remain close and we will still see each other and talk, but hasn't talked to me since then (5 days ago). We started our "break" the monday after thanksgiving and he broke up with me last tuesday. I think I'm going to try no contact but it's so hard to just let go. Especially when he implies we could have a second chance, just not now and that he still loves me.
chados Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 We talked and he told me that he wants to remain close and we will still see each other and talk, but hasn't talked to me since then (5 days ago). We started our "break" the monday after thanksgiving and he broke up with me last tuesday. I think I'm going to try no contact but it's so hard to just let go. Especially when he implies we could have a second chance, just not now and that he still loves me. i insist that you write what i posted. accept that things are over. theres nothing more attractive then to accept a persons whishes when it comes to a breakup. its not you ending anything. its about removing pressure between the two of you. and then leave it to him. if he wants you back he will do anything.
Author mariss3 Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 i insist that you write what i posted. accept that things are over. theres nothing more attractive then to accept a persons whishes when it comes to a breakup. its not you ending anything. its about removing pressure between the two of you. and then leave it to him. if he wants you back he will do anything. I just don't wanna bother him. When we talked he seemed on edge and idk. I'm just afraid even saying that will push him further away.
chados Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 I just don't wanna bother him. When we talked he seemed on edge and idk. I'm just afraid even saying that will push him further away. thats not gonna bother him. thats only gonna make him realize he cant string you along. you will not push him away by saying that. if he doesnt want you , yes it could be easier for him to move on. but if he wants you thats gonna pull him back.
fiat500 Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 (edited) Um. I wouldn't send him that letter if I were you. Just leave him alone. If he broke up with you nothing you tell him will change his mind or make him want to listen to you. Just disappearing on him would elicit more of a reaction out of him then writing him a letter saying that you accept the breakup. Of course you accept the breakup, you had no choice in the matter, if you didn't there is still nothing you can do about it. Dumpers don't want to get emails from their exes after they just broke up with them. It's a turn off. He wants to remain close so he could wean himself off of you. It has nothing to do with the reasons he gives you. If he REALLY wants to remain friends then it's up to him to pursue a friendship with you. You can't just go from 'i just ripped your heart out of your chest cavity. Let's be friends!' it makes no goddamn sense. Edited December 19, 2011 by fiat500
Milocat Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Um. I wouldn't send him that letter if I were you. Just leave him alone. If he broke up with you nothing you tell him will change his mind or make him want to listen to you. Just disappearing on him would elicit more of a reaction out of him then writing him a letter saying that you accept the breakup. Of course you accept the breakup, you had no choice in the matter, if you didn't there is still nothing you can do about it. Dumpers don't want to get emails from their exes after they just broke up with them. It's a turn off. He wants to remain close so he could wean himself off of you. It has nothing to do with the reasons he gives you. If he REALLY wants to remain friends then it's up to him to pursue a friendship with you. You can't just go from 'i just ripped your heart out of your chest cavity. Let's be friends!' it makes no goddamn sense. Awesome advice!
Author mariss3 Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 Um. I wouldn't send him that letter if I were you. Just leave him alone. If he broke up with you nothing you tell him will change his mind or make him want to listen to you. Just disappearing on him would elicit more of a reaction out of him then writing him a letter saying that you accept the breakup. Of course you accept the breakup, you had no choice in the matter, if you didn't there is still nothing you can do about it. Dumpers don't want to get emails from their exes after they just broke up with them. It's a turn off. He wants to remain close so he could wean himself off of you. It has nothing to do with the reasons he gives you. If he REALLY wants to remain friends then it's up to him to pursue a friendship with you. You can't just go from 'i just ripped your heart out of your chest cavity. Let's be friends!' it makes no goddamn sense. This is great advice. Thanks so much
fiat500 Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 Always here to help. I don't want other people going through the same crap I did
Author mariss3 Posted December 22, 2011 Author Posted December 22, 2011 Always here to help. I don't want other people going through the same crap I did It's been very hard though because he promised we would stay close and talk, but he hasn't talked to me in over a week. He tells me he can't stop loving me but won't talk. :// I don't get it. I haven't tried talking to him either because I heard no contact can possibly help..
Author mariss3 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Posted January 7, 2012 Just wanna give an update. He's with another girl within about 2 weeks of our break up. She goes to college with him and looks like trash. She goes to hookah bars and smokes all the time. My guess is they are just sexing it up. I'm finally getting over him and glad I'm not with someone like this anymore after the way he lied and treated me. I have done no contact and I am becoming happy again with great support from friends and family. I thought this break up was the end of the world, but it's actually the beginning of a new one. So glad I am done with him. Thanks everyone for your wonderful advice.
BoredAgain Posted January 7, 2012 Posted January 7, 2012 I'm glad things are working out for you! Sometimes all it takes is a bit of emotional distance to realize that you're better off.
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