my body is a cage Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 so, I've been seeing this guy for a couple of months. we went to school together and have a lot of mutual friends, have known each other for a few years. things have been pretty low key and they have been going well! we have established that we enjoy each other's company and are attracted to each other... every now and then he will text me nice things such as "baby" and "gorgeous." last saturday, we went to a party together and then he spent the night (not the first time). we had a great time... he told a mutual (female) friend that our hookup was "REALLY hot." anyway, he called me the night after he left my place and invited me over but I had finals. he told me to call him as soon as i was done. anyway, i thought that w were making progress... throughout the week he was being a little bit slow about texting (he doesnt that sometimes) but I was really worried about finals... we had tentative plans to hang out on thursday but I canceled them because I was so stressed. (I thought I was clear, I said I might have to cancel and asked him when he was leaving for the holidays) he got back to me a bit later and said "so not tonight then?" which I guess meant that he had thought the plans still were on... more here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t310552/ anyway, I haven't heard from him since then! I texted just to say hi and called him last night and got no response... figured maybe he had been out. I texted and called again today, first to say hi then to directly say i was finished with finals and ask if he wanted to hang out... no response! im really confused/sad. do you think he is blowing me off/ wants to end things? he invited me to an event at the place he works in july... i just dont understand why he is ignoring me all of a sudden. is he mad? is he worried im taking things too seriously? do you think i will hear from him again?
Author my body is a cage Posted December 18, 2011 Author Posted December 18, 2011 i cant help but worry that its over
lululucy Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 PUT DOWN THE PHONE No more texting or calling this guy! If he is out of town (or you are? I forget, I read that other thread of yours when you originally posted it) and you guys aren't official, he doesn't really have an obligation to get ahold of you until you're back in the same place. And you texting/calling multiple times will only freak him out and make him feel like you're way more attached than he is. Relax.
Author my body is a cage Posted December 18, 2011 Author Posted December 18, 2011 PUT DOWN THE PHONE No more texting or calling this guy! If he is out of town (or you are? I forget, I read that other thread of yours when you originally posted it) and you guys aren't official, he doesn't really have an obligation to get ahold of you until you're back in the same place. And you texting/calling multiple times will only freak him out and make him feel like you're way more attached than he is. Relax. hahah i haaaave. dont worry. i was just texting to let him know im BACK in town... do you think i'll hear from him if i put the phone down now? thanks for the advice.
chryssy83 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 You are way more likely to hear from him again if you stop contacting him. That said, you might not hear from him ever again. And that will be okay....just stop contacting him and stay busy.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Are you frigging kidding me? A guy des not brag about a girl unless she's a conquest and from the sounds of things you've already head down that road. You think blowing up his phone will get you a response? Last time I'm aware of, when a guy is interested he will climb mountains for the girl. Chances r, he got your messages but is deliberately ignoring you.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 You dont even realize what you did. When you blew him off multiple times, using the stress of finals as an excuse (i know it was true), he thought you werent interested in him anymore. That is one of the many lame excuses women use instead of saying they arent interested. He probably heard that before from other women, but they didnt mean it. So he probably thought you found someone that yorue more interested in. If it isnt that, then he found some one hes more interested in.
Author my body is a cage Posted December 18, 2011 Author Posted December 18, 2011 aaaaahhhh! I totally did realize this was a possibility... that is why I contacted him so many times, why would he still think this after I have made such an attempt to contact him?? It really was finals, my last finals ever, I really was very stressed I couldn't deal with his slow response time after that... I'm pretty sure he hasn't met anyone else... I think I would know about it.... Is there anything I can do in this scenario? You dont even realize what you did. When you blew him off multiple times, using the stress of finals as an excuse (i know it was true), he thought you werent interested in him anymore. That is one of the many lame excuses women use instead of saying they arent interested. He probably heard that before from other women, but they didnt mean it. So he probably thought you found someone that yorue more interested in. If it isnt that, then he found some one hes more interested in.
Author my body is a cage Posted December 18, 2011 Author Posted December 18, 2011 You dont even realize what you did. When you blew him off multiple times, using the stress of finals as an excuse (i know it was true), he thought you werent interested in him anymore. That is one of the many lame excuses women use instead of saying they arent interested. He probably heard that before from other women, but they didnt mean it. So he probably thought you found someone that yorue more interested in. If it isnt that, then he found some one hes more interested in. I feel terrible, it was really something I had to do. Should I send him an email explaining ?
lululucy Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 PUT DOWN... THE KEYBOARD girl please don't go crazy over this guy. He knows you're back in town, he knows you're interested since you've texted him/etc.. if he moved on, an email wouldn't fix it. If he hasn't, it might push him away. You just have to wait it out.
chryssy83 Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Guys hate it when girls contact them over and over. They like to pursue. Don't contact him anymore. If he wants to get in touch, he knows where to find you.
Wolf18 Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Guys hate it when girls contact them over and over. They like to pursue. Don't contact him anymore. If he wants to get in touch, he knows where to find you. Wrong. The guys who are open to chasing you, are going to like you even more if you show an equal amount of enthusiasm. The guys who hate it when you contact them just want to use you for sex.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Guys hate it when girls contact them over and over. They like to pursue. Don't contact him anymore. If he wants to get in touch, he knows where to find you. Exactly and I thought I was being blunt. Op enougih. As muh as I am sre you are head over heels for this guy you must remember you you still need to retain some dignity. Some guys are just *******s. Period. They don't care about your feelings because they are after ass. I've been there and it's. Always been ****yy expecting them to call. Instead of being a backup plan, meet other people. There are men out there who are genuine you just need to open up your eyes a little more from now on.
chryssy83 Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Wrong. The guys who are open to chasing you, are going to like you even more if you show an equal amount of enthusiasm. The guys who hate it when you contact them just want to use you for sex. I think the key to what you are saying is "equal amount of enthusiasm." At this point she's way ahead of him in the enthusiasm department because she keeps contacting him when he's not responding. I agree that it would be different if he was calling her...there's nothing wrong in pursuing each other. I'm also not saying she should ignore a guy who is contacting her to play hard to get. I'm just saying that guys don't like it when the girl is doing all the pursuing. Let him respond if he's going to...
Author my body is a cage Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 hmm it seems like the guys and the gals are a little divided on this. I wouldnt have contacted him this much if he hadn't sent pretty clear signals before, I agree that I haven contacted him enough for now though. I thought about it, and his degree of contact only changed after I bailed on him... like, we were in a lot of contact after we saw each other, its just since thursday its been weird. could this possibly be it? that would be a really terrible reason to disappear on someone... what can i do? do you think he will reappear?
TheFinalWord Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 so, I've been seeing this guy for a couple of months. we went to school together and have a lot of mutual friends, have known each other for a few years. things have been pretty low key and they have been going well! we have established that we enjoy each other's company and are attracted to each other... every now and then he will text me nice things such as "baby" and "gorgeous." last saturday, we went to a party together and then he spent the night (not the first time). we had a great time... he told a mutual (female) friend that our hookup was "REALLY hot." anyway, he called me the night after he left my place and invited me over but I had finals. he told me to call him as soon as i was done. anyway, i thought that w were making progress... throughout the week he was being a little bit slow about texting (he doesnt that sometimes) but I was really worried about finals... we had tentative plans to hang out on thursday but I canceled them because I was so stressed. (I thought I was clear, I said I might have to cancel and asked him when he was leaving for the holidays) he got back to me a bit later and said "so not tonight then?" which I guess meant that he had thought the plans still were on... more here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t310552/ anyway, I haven't heard from him since then! I texted just to say hi and called him last night and got no response... figured maybe he had been out. I texted and called again today, first to say hi then to directly say i was finished with finals and ask if he wanted to hang out... no response! im really confused/sad. do you think he is blowing me off/ wants to end things? he invited me to an event at the place he works in july... i just dont understand why he is ignoring me all of a sudden. is he mad? is he worried im taking things too seriously? do you think i will hear from him again? To be honest it sounds like he was just looking to hook up with you. You weren't available so he moved onto the next girl. It sounds like you were giving him sex with no strings attached, so you can't really expect anything from him now. Telling someone a hook up was hot, that he enjoys your company (in the bedroom), or telling you you're attractive and gorgeous doesn't mean he has feelings for you. It just means the sex is good for him. If he does call you, you should tell him you want more than friendship/hooking up and see what he says. Then at least you can put this whole relationship in the proper perspective.
Wolf18 Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 I'm surprised the OP isn't bothered by the fact that this guy is telling her friends about their "hook up", just imagine how he's bragging to his boys . Even at my the pinnacle of my scumbag-ism, I always preferred to keep my sexual activity to myself, I seldom even talk to my male friends about how a specific girl is in bed etc, whether good or bad.
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