mariss3 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 My ex and I had a great relationship. We were together over 2 and half years and he was my best friend. We saw each other about 2 times a week because of work and school but we always talked. We argued once in a while, like most couples do. The night before everything happened, we had a great night in the city and he kept telling me he loved me and I had an amazing time. The next day he got mad at me for no reason, and started telling me all of my faults and then didn't talk to me for 4 days. We met up and he said he wanted a break. He was crying and told me to trust him and that everything would work out because he loved me more than anything. Two weeks later he texts me saying its over. When I asked what I did wrong he said I never did anything wrong and that things just have changed... I honestly don't know what I did wrong. He said we would stay close and still see each other but I haven't heard from him since. I was always nice, faithful and an all around good girlfriend. I really want him back even though my friends say that he was always mean to me and that I deserve better. But I only want him. I had the best time of my life with him and he was my best friend. How can I make him come back to me, when I don't even know what I did wrong?
BoredAgain Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 If he said that you didn't do anything wrong, I'd take his word for that. I'm sorry to say it, but there's probably nothing you can do to get him back. The best thing you can do is just give him his time and space... and use it as an opportunity to better yourself (try new things, meet new people, etc.). Listen to how you describe the break-up. Everything was great one day, then he flipped out the next. Then he told you he loved you and things would work out, then he dumped you via text. He sounds confused. Chances are he's not sure why he broke up with you, either. On a side note, do you think there's another woman he's interested in? Did he start drinking/partying more? Has he begun to hung out with new friend? And how old is he?
M2155 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Sorta similar. There was another woman in my case to. He told me we were going to work on us and then I pretty much never saw him again. I wanted him back but after time to hurt, grieve, reflect etc I realize I can do better. Usually when your friends can see it and you find yourself defending it, 9/10 there's something there we don't want to see. I'm sorry you are hurting but the best thing you can do is give him space for emotions to settle. He has to miss you and come back on his own when whatever he's gotten himself into isn't as great as he thought.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 No, hes not coming back. To make up a reason out of the blue and then break it off means he found someone else that he likes better. he took a break to date her uninterrupted by you, then once she was solidified, he dumped you. Sometimes that how people do it. Problem is, he faked it with you for a long while, even though he was losing interest in you, and you didnt even see it coming. Whatever you did to turn him off, he decided months ago that it wasnt worth fixing it for the relationship. Meanwhile, you have no idea all along that he is looking for someone new. People do this constantly. He might not have been faking it all along, he might have met someone a week before the break, and decided she was worth it, and then broke it off. Thats what it is when theres no real explanation, its another woman. The real explanation is that he has a list of things he doesnt like about you, but wont tell you. So unfortunately unless you can get these reasons out of him, you might not learn from this relationship.
fiat500 Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Hate to say it. If he says 'things changed' or his feelings have 'changed' it means there's another woman involved. I had an ex who said the exact same thing and he was with another girl officially within a month the things have changed line is typically given by people who are emotionally immature children. they won't ever be emotionally mature adults until they learn to communicate correctly and not dump people with vague excuses. it usually never works out with the next girl if a guy dumps an ex like this. so at least be happy for that.
Author mariss3 Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 Everyone I know ,though, says they are positive it was not for another girl. It just kills me that he told me the week before that he loved me more than anything and that he swore on his life that he wouldn't leave me.
Author mariss3 Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 If he said that you didn't do anything wrong, I'd take his word for that. I'm sorry to say it, but there's probably nothing you can do to get him back. The best thing you can do is just give him his time and space... and use it as an opportunity to better yourself (try new things, meet new people, etc.). Listen to how you describe the break-up. Everything was great one day, then he flipped out the next. Then he told you he loved you and things would work out, then he dumped you via text. He sounds confused. Chances are he's not sure why he broke up with you, either. On a side note, do you think there's another woman he's interested in? Did he start drinking/partying more? Has he begun to hung out with new friend? And how old is he? He hasn't been partying. He switched schools though and started blowing off everyone for his new friends, me and his family. He had seemed a lot more stressed lately with his heavier load of schoolwork and working a lot too.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 He hasn't been partying. He switched schools though and started blowing off everyone for his new friends, me and his family. He had seemed a lot more stressed lately with his heavier load of schoolwork and working a lot too. Weve been seeing these situations on this board alot longer than you have Mariss, and no one leaves someone because of school and workload, not if they are really into them. If hes making new friends, then its a new girl involved.
M2155 Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Weve been seeing these situations on this board alot longer than you have Mariss, and no one leaves someone because of school and workload, not if they are really into them. If hes making new friends, then its a new girl involved. I agree unfortunately. My sitiation was quite similar to how Eddie described above. He had been shopping for a replacement (i didnt "see" this at the time) but playing along like we were solid. True It usually isn't likely for them to come back, especially when someone else is involved, but the message is there is nothing you can do to make it happen. He didn't leave because of anything you did, eventually you will come to terms and realize the explanation doesn't make a difference. If/when his "feelings change" again hopefully you will have seen this through and moved on:(
Sugarkane Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 My ex did exactly the same thing. Everything seemed great, then dumped me via text out of the blue. Just completely cut me off, refused to answer my questions and nothing but insults via text. Said that I can't communicate yet dumped me by text?! I'll never forgive my ex for being so callous. I said I hope that someone does exactly the same thing to you. Knock on wood it does. I would have zero empathy. I feel pity for anyone that dates this sociopath.
Sugarkane Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 I really hope these dishonest exes get screwed over themselves. That would make my year.
Sugarkane Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 We all deserve more than cowards with a roving eye. I swear you could be the best girlfriend ever and people Like my ex still would lie and cheat.
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