irc333 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Interesting note...there's this female friend on my FB of friends...stated on her wall she came home to an email out of the blue from an Ex-boyfriend saying "he's single now, and was wondering how she was doing". She mentions if he friends her on FB, he'll probably make sure THIS post about him will be deleted. Is this a sheer act of desperation around the holidays, resorting BACK to an ex?
phineas Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I've seen women post on FB "perfect hair & make-up on a sat night & no where to go" on a sat night. LOL! She's a bit of a drama queen but I would of offered my services if I didn't have my kids that night.
El Brujo Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I'm not really that desperate for companionship around the holidays. People are sending me orders for things like iPhone cases and sewing boxes made of wood, so I'm having too much fun building and selling those to feel desperate. My poor dog really suffers though... HE wouldn't mind having a woman around the house to talk to him and pat his head and feed him treats while I'm busy working.
ScienceGal Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I've never understood people that use facebook in the way you've described. Cyber cries for help to people who usually aren't even legitimate friends. I don't get it. I spent last night alone watching movies. I am spending today alone finishing my Christmas shopping. I will be spending Christmas day and probably New Years alone too. My life is filled with depressing alone time, but I don't plan on broadcasting it on a social networking site. Holidays aside, a desperate person is a desperate person.
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I agree with, Science Gal. Desperate people are desperate no matter what season it is. I'm not sure he's desperate. He may just want to see a familiar face. During Halloween, I met my ex-fiancee. We broke up after she cheated on me, got pregnant, and said I was the father. I hadn't seen her in over 5 years. 5 years ago I would have been mad. But now I was actually happy to see her. I didn't have to meet or talk to her. I did it on my own. I don't even have any bitterness against her. Weird. One thing: contacting her by email may be the only way he could have gotten a hold of her. Women change their phone numbers frequently and email addresses less frequently. Maybe he couldn't get a hold of her by phone and could only contact her by email.
ScienceGal Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I totally overlooked that the OP might be asking if the guy in the story is acting desperate. Who knows. Maybe he is desperate and needs a date. Maybe he is looking for a booty call, or his feelings are blurred by the saddness of the holidays. Maybe he genuinely misses her. Maybe he doesn't even have a damn clue, like most of us!
grkBoy Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Much like Christmas has become so materialistic, the holidays in general have become more "couple-centric" than they need to be. People come home for holidays, and many get the grilling on why they're single, unmarried, no "grandkids" for the elders, etc. Some are treated like they're total failures in life because of this...especially women. A woman could be a 7-figure earning executive or Nobel-worthy specialist doctor...but yet some families will look down on it all because she's not married with little kids running around the house yet. It's sad, pathetic, and even outdated thinking. I look at this mainly as either elders living in the past or worse siblings who didn't do much more in life but marry and thus feel insecure around their "successful" or even "free spirited" sibling, so they try to make their commitment as being more grandiose and "special" than anything the sibling has done. PLUS...when you're single and you see all those happy couples who are buying one another gifts, taking romantic holiday getaways, and especially can face New Years Eve with someone on their arm and a guaranteed kiss at midnight, it weighs in on the insecurity. New Years has always surprised me at how much the "must have someone" thing weighs in for the insecure. I'll see exes get back together just for the holidays, friends who would never be considered for dating suddenly get considered, and even random hookups when enough alcohol has flowed. Back in my clubbing years I'll never forget the vast amount of gossip that came on January 2 when the smoke has cleared and sobriety hits many. How many "did you know ____ and ____ hooked up?" In the case of IRC333's friend, we don't know the situation. We don't know if they broke up badly or not. I also think the guy is being needy as he's looking for any female to fulfill his need at that moment. I've had several occasions where I suddenly meet a girl in Sept or Oct. We start dating, things go well, then just before or after New Years it falls apart. Suddenly she's not "feeling it" anymore or something like that. Holiday desperation if you ask me.
phineas Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I've had several occasions where I suddenly meet a girl in Sept or Oct. We start dating, things go well, then just before or after New Years it falls apart. Suddenly she's not "feeling it" anymore or something like that. Holiday desperation if you ask me. hahahaha! I had 3 women that I hadn't talked to in months pop up out of nowhere last week. The nut-job afraid of the word "date" a co-worker I hung out with once over the summer that blew me-off & I didn't talk to her since then. And a woman I dated last yr the FZ'd me whom I didn't talk to in almost a yr. Date-aphobia girl cancelled on me. figuring out a time to go Christmas shopping with co-worker. last woman I went to see her & she helped me with some clothes. That one was weird because she helped me pick stuff out then we chated & "caught up" and that was it. her store was slammed though. I'm just sitting back waiting to see who does what because I don't think it's a coincidence. all I can say is I'm down to be some chicks eye-candy to her company Christmas party or what-not, then getting dropped like a bad habit as long as she's driving & the food & drink is good.
Cee Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I would rather be alone for the Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's triple threat than to try to wrangle someone up for the holidays. Pretty much I would stop dating around the holidays and focus on my friendships. I guess I was afraid I'd come off as being desperate. And besides it's lonelier to be a date with a stranger, than being the 5th wheel with friends and their SOs. Last year, I skipped the New Year's pity fest and took a solo trip to Germany. It was a whole lot of fun hanging in a hostel with singles from 6 different countries. And then I met my boyfriend on the most romantic of all days - Obama's State of the Union address.
soserious1 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 My family is horrible around the holidays, constant questions about why I'm not dating again, they drag one needy man after another to events, usually without even asking me first. At this point in time I try to schedule work trips around the holidays, lol
chryssy83 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 In addition to the holidays becoming increasingly couple-centric, I think there is also a lot of nostalgia around the holidays. Not going to lie, I have some exes from WAY BACK who always want to meet up around the holidays. Not to re-kindle anything, but to talk about old times together. And we hug at the end of dinner or coffee and go on our way. Nothing serious.
Author irc333 Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 There was some statistics that was taken off of Facebook, claiming the holidays to be the season most dangerous for relationships, a lot of them being broken off.
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