ls32ssibm Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Facebook's effect on my last relationship; - Her "guy" friends always creeping on her, hitting on her online, all that crap. Stuff they would never do in real life. - The second we broke up, had guys crawling on her the second her status changed to "single". Not to mention all the terrific human beings "liking" you getting dumped. After this last one, I perma deleted my Facebook. It CAN be done, it just takes two weeks. It brings out creepers, cowards, and scumbags and makes a modern relationship that much more difficult to retain.
cerridwen Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 (edited) A guy friend of mine did the same thing. Amazingly, even without Facebook, he's still living a full life. An ex used to flirt inappropriately and lay the ground work for cheating through FB. I deleted mine for a long while and only recently added it back. TBH, I'll likely get rid of it again. It brings up bad memories. Sorry you're hurting. It will get better. Edited December 18, 2011 by cerridwen
Author ls32ssibm Posted December 18, 2011 Author Posted December 18, 2011 One more thing I wanted to add that drives me nuts. Pictures of exes. I know you should be "secure" and not care, but maybe I don't want to see who exactly my girlfriend used to sleep with.
Sugarkane Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 And yet in the dating forum, people said that is was a dealbreaker that I don't have Facebook! Try working that out.
ithurts1 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 My now ex dumped me for his ex who he had not seen in 20 odd years all because she added him on facebook and honestly guys and ladies she is 1 of the oldest looking 42 year olds I have ever seen can't understand why he dumped a 26 year old to get back with a woman who looks in her 50s and has brown teeth!
Woggle Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 It's one of the dumbest inventions ever. I am proud to say I don't have a page. If you ask me Myspace was better. On Myspace you could put music, graphics and all this cool stuff on it but Facebook is pretty much a narcissist's dream.
Zabs Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 And yet in the dating forum, people said that is was a dealbreaker that I don't have Facebook! Try working that out. Sugar, TWO things that jump out to me with the 'daters' saying that.. 1) Inability to 'get to know someone' gradually and a temptation to rush into meaningless realtionships and get hurt anyway 2)An obvious desire to 'control' the object of their affection. At the end of the day, unless you are using facebook to see about venues of interest and suchlike...how can it be a dealbreaker...just because you ain't 'spying' on your person's page every two nanoseconds? "From the dust you came and to the dust you shall return..." (adaptation from Genesis) There was life BEFORE FACEBLEUGH...and there will be again! IS32, To me...FB can be used to manipulate the feelings of others...by using your imagination against you...but for this to work, people involved have to be pre-disposed to being jealous, anxious, cautious...etc. A picture can tell a thousand words...but if there is no caption underneath...the person looking at it can only decipher by what it means to them. I sometimes laugh because the same people who are hanging out their proverbial washing for all to see are usually the same ones who 'need' their privacy...what a curious paradox! Much love, Zabs xx
YellowShark Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Agreed. I said this a year ago and was nearly run off this board by all the rabid Facebook users here. Their claim is it's a tool and the "bad thing" is the user not the tool. I disagree with them. Facbook is a narcissists dream. Its a sales pitch to prove to the world how great you are. Only perfect pictures of you trying to look your best, status updates, likes.. Who the fu@k cares what kinda shampoo, songs and movies you like... Really. I don't. The narcissism has become so ingrained that now nearly every website has a stupid "like" button on it somewhere. We are raising a generation of narcissists who thing clicking a "like button" actually means something! It's damn ridiculous. It also allows you to stalk and creep people, or dig up old flames that you would never in a million years have looked up. All with a few short clicks of the mouse. Then you can have an emotional affair using Facebook while your significant other is literally sitting in the same room as you. You can chat with old flames, send pictures, etc... All with one simple silent tool, Facebook. While your partner is sitting accross from you on the couch oblivious to what you are doing via Facebook. That said, if you're a guy over 24 and still on Facebook, hand in your balls, because you obviously don't require them any more.
Sugarkane Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 YellowShark- Wow. can I post that as a reply to my thread? I mean people think that there was no life before this invention or something!
Sugarkane Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 And I mean that stupid movie The Social Network about Facebook came out after my BU. Really pissed me off I had to see Jesse Eisenberg's face everywhere when he is a spitting image of my ex.
YellowShark Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 YellowShark- Wow. can I post that as a reply to my thread? I mean people think that there was no life before this invention or something! The Earth survived for many thousands of years without Facebook. I somehow survived decades without Facebook. I dont have 300 "friends," no one does. The only people who can't survive without Facebook are narcissists who validate themselves using Facebook. And don't give me this BS excuse that it's how you stay in touch with friends and family, cuz the 6 billion people who don't use Facebook - like me - manage to be able to just fine.
betterdeal Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 It can be a bit like putting a dieter in a cake shop.
leoc1973 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Facebook's effect on my last relationship; - Her "guy" friends always creeping on her, hitting on her online, all that crap. Stuff they would never do in real life. - The second we broke up, had guys crawling on her the second her status changed to "single". Not to mention all the terrific human beings "liking" you getting dumped. After this last one, I perma deleted my Facebook. It CAN be done, it just takes two weeks. It brings out creepers, cowards, and scumbags and makes a modern relationship that much more difficult to retain. I can't agree more. All those lowlifes pouncing on my ex before we even got a chance to see if we can work things out. I gotta say tho maybe it shows my ex's character to defile "our" memory and 6 years together by banging away at all the new guys. I also have been on the other end tho. since my relationship status got set to single. I have literally had 7 married women contact me and try to make somehting happen. I swear facebook is either a blessing or a curse. You think of it as a tool to weed out the bad people. I am looking at it as if my ex can do that then she wasn't marriage material.
betterdeal Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 When I went to Nepal, I went to a place called Langtang which is a beautiful, sacred valley. We walked 3 days up it and 2 days back, to the small town where we had started. I went for a stroll around the back streets off the main road, and I went over a bridge over the river that snakes its way through the valley. On one side of the bridge, there was a mound of plastic bags and containers trailing down to the river.. It was such a shame. I thought at the time that it's probably how they've got rid of waste in that town since it was founded and that they just aren't used to either the abundance or longevity of plastic packaging. Dumping some potato peelings is one thing; dumping a plastic bag is another. I see Facebook and modern communications as being like that: We haven't come to terms with the nature of this new phenomena or learned how to integrate, use and manage it to best effect in our lives. One thing is for sure, and that's that it's here for the foreseeable.
Woggle Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Before Facebook people used to actually talk to each other. I know it sounds strange but it is true.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Hate to break it to you LS32, but your breakup only had to do with you, not facebook. If your ex was pulled away from you because of guys online, then you dated a woman who wasnt that into you, and you ignored it, or you did something to turn her off, and didnt solidify the relationship enough in her mind to fix the problems. Women arent distracted by knuckleheads online if they are in love with their bf, and he is keeping her happy, in HER mind, not his. No matter what youre relationship is, your gf will look elsewhere if she isnt getting her needs met, facebook has NOTHING to do with it. Blame yourself only.
shayla Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 It's what caused my break up, if my family wasn't there, I'd totally get rid of Facebook. We used it to plan our family reunion, and it was priceless during the time my father was dying. I was able to post updates once instead of having to call dozens of family members. My ex used FB to hit on women that were "friends of friends" and one of them went for it. They then spent their days grinding my face in their FB happiness while I was posting about my fathers declining health, his death, his funeral arrangements, and so on. Facebook truly sucks.
M2155 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I enjoy Facebook in moderation. I met one of my exes through FB and a lot of other good things. I definitely would like to keep it out of my personal romantic relationship next time, its too easy to take out of perception and not the forum for emotional exchange. That said, it revealed my ex was cheating on me so It was my "closure." Say what you want but I think FB just magnifies what people would be doing or trying to find a way to do one way or another. Facebook just makes it easier.
betterdeal Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Hate to break it to you LS32, but your breakup only had to do with you, not facebook. If your ex was pulled away from you because of guys online, then you dated a woman who wasnt that into you, and you ignored it, or you did something to turn her off, and didnt solidify the relationship enough in her mind to fix the problems. Women arent distracted by knuckleheads online if they are in love with their bf, and he is keeping her happy, in HER mind, not his. No matter what youre relationship is, your gf will look elsewhere if she isnt getting her needs met, facebook has NOTHING to do with it. Blame yourself only. Arrant nonsense. Aside from treating the woman as a dumb animal with no conscious thoughts or free will, you're also attempting to whitewash the power of the tool. Yeah yeah, guns don't kill people, bullets do, and yet your government flies in the face of the Constitution by preventing you from owning ICBMs. Why is that? Give an idiot a gun and he'll shoot you in the foot.
Art_Critic Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I love facebook.. it is my way of getting pictures of my kid on occasion to my family and friends and staying connected to many of them. I also happen to have a handful of LS posters on my FB too.. I have one good friend that is a professor in Kosovo, as well as he is a terrific photographer so I get to see what he is doing by browsing his FB as we only see one another once a year.. I get the narcissistic part of FB though..I think with some people they also use it for evil.. hitting on women/men or stalking ex's. I would hold the person who uses FB accountable though rather than FB itself.. As an Alcoholic I was never able to blame the Alcohol as the problem as it was really the user (me) who had the Alcohol problem.
YellowShark Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Before Facebook people used to actually talk to each other. I know it sounds strange but it is true. This is also something that Facebook is destroying. REAL social interaction. Before Facebook people were in still in contact with their family. Before Facebook people were still in contact with their friends. And I am talking about face to face interaction. It easy to type many things online that you would never ever say to peoples faces... because they would be absolutely inappropriate in a face-to-face setting. And yet, some people try to sell me the line that without Facebook they could not interact effectively with friends and family. And that is exactly what Facebook wants, to convince you -the user of their service- that their "service" is indespensable.. (and they are making billions of dollars selling you that BS.) Yet when you really think about it Facebook is absolutely 100% disposable. But god forbid you say that because then you are branded "a hater." That said Facebook ALSO allows you to hunt for and stalk people from the comfort of your couch. Before Facebook you had to go outside to do that. You had to leave the house. It took effort. Now it is as easy as 1,2,3, to check out somebody's photos, find prey, and then contact them even while your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend could be sitting in the same room oblivious to what you are doing. Or simply type in an old flames name and poke them. Facebook has made infidelity as easy as flicking on a television. So for me I choose not to be on Facebook and I choose not to use their "service" so that they can make money off my personal information.
YellowShark Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I love facebook.. it is my way of getting pictures of my kid on occasion to my family and friends and staying connected to many of them. So tell us how you did that before 2006. The year Facebook went big.
Woggle Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Back in the stone age when I was growing up in the 90s if I wanted to talk to a friend I called them up or hung out with them. Relationships were better because instead of constantly waiting for a response on your I phone and getting antsy you couldn't wait to get home and share your day with them.
Art_Critic Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 (edited) So tell us how you did that before 2006. The year Facebook went big. This sooo isn't worth the argument... I didn't.. so I didn't get those pictures to my family and friends as I'm pretty busy on most days and just never mailed them.. I also didn't get to see what my friends that had moved away were up to...except once a year..Now I get to see that all year.. and I only kept in touch with my friends on LS either thru email, pm or on LS.. today I share a bigger piece of my life with them than I did before.. FB has been a positive in my life.. My wife is also on my friends list..hahaha so there isn't anything that I post on FB or gets posted that she doesn't see.. The person in control of their own account on FB is who gets the blame if they use it to hurt the one's they love.. Edited December 18, 2011 by Art_Critic
YellowShark Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 (edited) This sooo isn't worth the argument... But it is. Since you are a shill for Facebooks sales pitch. Somehow life was just too much to stay in touch with friends and family. Now with Facebook you have been "saved!" Praise the lord! Back in the stone age when I was growing up in the 90s if I wanted to talk to a friend I called them up or hung out with them. Relationships were better because instead of constantly waiting for a response on your I phone and getting antsy you couldn't wait to get home and share your day with them. Exactly. No one has 300 "friends." And it should require some effort to remain friends rather than collecting them online like trinkets.. and occasionally firing off some drivel their way. The part that really creeps me out is Facebook tags people names in images, so someone, for instance a pedofile, can have your kids name in seconds. Then with a few other mouse clicks find out all sorts of **** about them that they shouldn't have access to. Facebook makes it as easy as pie since most people are not up to speed on the security settings. Hell, just a week ago someone hacked Mark Zuckerbergs account. and if the creator and head of Facebook's account isn't safe. Yours isn't either. http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/story/2011/12/07/technology-mark-zuckerberg-facebook-photos.html A security flaw allowed private photos of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg to be downloaded from the social networking site and posted in an online gallery this week. Edited December 18, 2011 by YellowShark
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