Mjfru Posted May 30, 2004 Posted May 30, 2004 Well I am in a odd position. Me and my gf have now been split up for around two weeks. She says that she still loves me a little bit and that she feels that through the ups and downs, her and I had a really wonderful relationship, and she would do it again if the time is right. Now I don't know what to think. I have a new gf now and actually this girl is one of my ex's friends. But the thing is that I can't really get into her because I love my ex too much. Like if my ex wanted to get back together right now I wouldn't know what to do. I wanna be with my ex, but I don't want to hurt my current gf feelings, because my current gf and I were really good friends before hand. My ex said that I should just go out with my current gf, and no matter what I should just stay with my current gf. She doesn't want to affect the outcome of our relationship. She also said that she will probably always be available, that she doesn't feel like any other guys can give her what I have. So when my current gf and I split up I can try to get back together with my ex, if the time is right. Then I told one of my ex's friends on AIM what the situation is. Although she normally is a real b*#@*, and she never has any luck with relationships (like she never got back together with one of her ex's and she was pissed), she told me that it is a good "dream" to have by trying to get back with my ex one day. I asked her if she asked my ex about the situation and she said no, so I told her to ask and she still said no. Whatever, it just made me really mad. Anyway I have a few questions. 1. Do you think I am going to really get back with my ex one day, or do you think it seems like I need to really try to completely get over her (the only thing about that is that my ex and I had something really special and I don't want to lose it for good)? 2. Do you think that if my ex wanted to get back together, I should leave my current gf to be with the one I love? I also know that over time I may find it easier to be over my ex and more into my current gf. I just really love my ex. Every second I am with my current gf I wish it was my ex . . . Someone please help me out with this situation.
Baby Beaver Posted May 30, 2004 Posted May 30, 2004 I'd bin the new girlfriend. It's hardly fair on her, you can't pretend that it's her you want to be with when all the time you're thinking about her mate. You need to have a serious chat with your ex, It sounds like you are very confused and can understand why, one minute she's sying she still loves you and that no-one else will make her as happy as you did but then she's telling you to carry on seeing the other girl. I think the only way to sort it all out is for you both to sit down together and hash it all out. how long were you together for? what was her reason for finishing with you?
zoomer Posted May 30, 2004 Posted May 30, 2004 Sounds like the ex is playing with your mind. If she still "loves" you...then she would be with you, since you obviously are willing. She doesn't want you but she doesn't want anyone else to have you ....even though she tells you to carry on with your new gf...she's playing games with you. Make a decision and stick to it...why did you break up in the first place? Your not being fair to the new gf at all! She doesn't deserve to be second and played with since she is probably genuine to you. How would you feel if a girl was thinking like you are when they were with you? End all contact (if that is your choice) but above all....give 100% to who you are with or your wasting your time and hers. Good Luck to you.
Baby Beaver Posted May 30, 2004 Posted May 30, 2004 one point- Isn't 14days after breaking up with the love of your life pretty soon to begin a new relationship?
Author Mjfru Posted May 30, 2004 Author Posted May 30, 2004 My ex and I broke up because we weren't getting to see each other enough the last few months of our relationship. We were fighting all the time from this, and rumors kept going around that she was flirting with people (when I know she really wasn't). So people were getting involved as well (and that isn't good). I don't know, we just were both also really stressed out and we weren't happy with each other. Here's the thing though. Before the last couple of months, neither of us were really stressed out and we had one of the most compatible relationships I have ever seen! We fought, but so sparingly that if anything it helped us get closer rather than further from each other. All in all we were together for 2.5 years and I felt that I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. When I talked to her the day that I asked this new girl out, she said that she was cool with it. Then I talked to her the next day and I told her that the new girl is really great, but not her. I told her that I really miss her and love her still, but she said that we need to go through with this still. What she wants, I feel, is to see how we are as just friends, and to try dating around more to see if I am right for her, and she said that seems mostly right, but there are a few other reasons. Another reason was the fighting. She couldn't stand it and either could I, but I felt that if we just gave it a little time then we would get out of the fighting because we wouldn't be stressed out anymore. The reason that we were stressed, like I said before was because we had no time with each other, but now we could have loads of time together, she was stilled worried that we would fight though. I recently also asked her to confess if she really loves me still (like she says), or not. She said that it has def. faded, but she still loves me a little bit, and she has loads of emotion for me still. She said that I should think of it as she lost love for me, but she remembers our past and how great it was, so she has this little bit of hope of having what we used to have come back. I do too. Well the point is that I really feel that maybe her and I should sit down, in person, and talk about this, for real. Be a completely serious talk. I also feel that maybe I should explain the situation to my current gf and tell her that maybe it isn't a good idea that we are together right now. I'm still confused whether or not to do these things though. I feel that my new gf has some real potential and I should give it more time, but I'm unsure. Someone please help me out.
zoomer Posted May 30, 2004 Posted May 30, 2004 First of all, you've said a couple of times...she still loves you "a little bit" What in the world does that mean?? You either love someone or not. You can fall out of love with someone, I believe. The serious conversation might be good to find out exactly where you both stand. I don't think either one of you knows. And yes, I would be completely honest with the current gf ...again, she deserves that. I don't have your answer, that's for sure, but being open and honest will not hurt. "she has this little bit of hope of having what we used to have come back. I do too." How do either of you expect this if you want to remain apart...or with someone else...What she is telling you makes no sense. I suspect she cares about you but doesn't want the relationship any longer and certainly doesn't know how to tell you or doesn't want to hurt your feelings. She has her stability knowing (since you told her) she is, I'll say...better....than the new gf. You told her, she's just not you! Honest, but these thoughts should remain silent. Just my opinion. I wish you the best.
Author Mjfru Posted May 31, 2004 Author Posted May 31, 2004 I really don't know what to think though. I'm going to try to tell my current gf that i still have loads of feelings for my ex, but at the same time I really want to be with my ex. As time goes by, things get easier, I know this to be a fact. I need to take it a day at a time and try to understand that fate will either bring my ex and I together or keep us apart. I personally hope that it will bring us back together, but the point is that I should focus more on my current gf. Thanks for your posts and if anyone else has any help for me, it'll surely be appreciated.
Author Mjfru Posted May 31, 2004 Author Posted May 31, 2004 I really don't know what to think though. I'm going to try to tell my current gf that i still have loads of feelings for my ex, but at the same time I really want to be with my ex. As time goes by, things get easier, I know this to be a fact. I need to take it a day at a time and try to understand that fate will either bring my ex and I together or keep us apart. I personally hope that it will bring us back together, but the point is that I should focus more on my current gf. Thanks for your posts and if anyone else has any help for me, it'll surely be appreciated.
beautiful Posted June 1, 2004 Posted June 1, 2004 You on the rebound and dragging a new gf right into this mess. I feel that maybe you want to play it solo for a while and work out what is going on with you before you ever get into a relationship be it with your ex or someone new. If you do not work out your problems and issues, how do you expect to have a healthy relationship? How can you be with someone else and yet you still love your ex? There is a reason why your relaionship failed........................look within yourself. Good Luck
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