choppedkittens Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 You really like him and you care about him but you aren't in love with him. That's fine. Love falls on a continuum and there are many people who will trigger feelings in you that fall between the poles of love and hate. Not everyone is destined to be a great love in your life. Many of us make the mistake of "Well if I care about my partner and like him a lot, doesn't that mean I love him?" (No) "And if I don't what's wrong with me?" (Nothing) If you are feeling this way it probably means that your feelings for this person are strong but not as strong as they could be for someone else. You will naturally grow some feelings of attachment to almost anyone who is decent and attractive if you spend enough time around them. We are wired to get somewhat attached to people and things we're familiar with almost regardless of what they're like. That doesn't mean you should stay with them when there are connections you could find that are deeper and more specific. When you're in love with somebody you won't doubt it. Right now I'm in a relationship with somebody I love and the difference between this and my "almost love" relationships is huge. It feels so much fuller and richer than anything I've experienced before. I've had relationships before that were almost right and I thought I felt pretty happy but now that I've had a taste of something better, those relationships seem empty in hindsight. You really do just know. The healthy, considerate thing to do is end a relationship once you've realized that your feelings are lukewarm. At this point it's unlikely that your feelings will grow for your boyfriend given that you guys know each other well. Stop trying to convince yourself that you love him and flip flopping between valuing him and devaluing him. Just accept that you care about him but don't love him and move on.
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