ThinkPink218 Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 I feel like I've made progress since I've adopted the NC 2 months ago. I'm feeling better and looking forward to what's next. Most of my old posts revolved around letting go and the feeling that he didn't care. But I've gotten over that now. I know he cared and that things just weren't meant to be. I appreciate the good times we had and the lessons i learned from things. But now, I'm feeling as though I may not find another great guy. Yes there were problems, but he was a good guy and he's done nothing but become a better person since we have broken up. He is also dating a girl who seems to be a good catch as well. I guess because I'm alone, I'm feeling down about how good he seems to be doing. I mean I'm doing good too, but I just want another relationship with someone great and I'm feeling like I may not find it.....how do I cope with these feelings? I guess this is part of the healing process..
mike588 Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 I feel like I've made progress since I've adopted the NC 2 months ago. I'm feeling better and looking forward to what's next. Most of my old posts revolved around letting go and the feeling that he didn't care. But I've gotten over that now. I know he cared and that things just weren't meant to be. I appreciate the good times we had and the lessons i learned from things. But now, I'm feeling as though I may not find another great guy. Yes there were problems, but he was a good guy and he's done nothing but become a better person since we have broken up. He is also dating a girl who seems to be a good catch as well. I guess because I'm alone, I'm feeling down about how good he seems to be doing. I mean I'm doing good too, but I just want another relationship with someone great and I'm feeling like I may not find it.....how do I cope with these feelings? I guess this is part of the healing process.. First of all take whatever time you need to completely heal before you jump into another relationship. We all feel..have felt the same way that we want another relationship with someone great and it will come in time..don't force it..take this time now to heal and improve yourself..enjoy your single life for awhile...you never know whats going to happen in the near future.
JohnP82 Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I can very much relate to what you're going through. Just try not to think about it and make yourself better. That's what I'm trying to do. Also you never know what's around the corner. I remember thinking that I would never find anyone better than an ex from a few years ago. I did some reflection and realized she really wasn't that great. Sure I liked her, but objectively she was not what I needed or deserved. I then started dating my most recent ex and she was better than the previous. Now after some reflection I can see that although I loved her, she would have driven me crazy in the long term. I miss her like hell, but I know that my perfect match is somewhere in my future and not with her.
M2155 Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 I think thats a normal feeling single people have in general (minus the feeling down because of how the ex is doing- don't compare your life to his). I was feeling down yesterday after going to a party of mostly couples without a date, I guess on the positive everyone is determined to find me someone so I guess that's fun for them. But back to the point, I was feeling the same way and realized I wasn't a little down because I missed what I had with him, I was down because I am ready for the next thing and no idea when it'll come. So in a way, that made me a little happy when I bounced back that it was no longer missing him. But anyway, I think this feeling is normal, the ex is a frame of reference. But like JohnP92 said, its also been true for me that the next one has always been even better. Hard to imagine, wish he'd hurry up and present himself, but I am trying to be optimistic. You know that's just what single people do, complain all the time about not being able to meet anyone lol:o
Author ThinkPink218 Posted December 17, 2011 Author Posted December 17, 2011 Yea, it feels good to finally reach a point where I don't look to hear from him and accept that things have ended and I'm excited to take the lessons I've learned from this into my next relationship. It's just seeing him better himself and be with a girl who is also great, just makes me wonder when or if a guy will come along again. Normally my new relationship is also better than my last, but when I reminisce on the interests, values, etc we shared I sometimes wonder if that was the best even though we ended. But yea, I guess it's just a common feeling, I just wish it would pass. Thanks for the advice all
Author ThinkPink218 Posted December 18, 2011 Author Posted December 18, 2011 Just realized that even though he may be a good guy, he isn't "the" guy for me. Think I'm a little jelly that he's doing good and found someone else good & I have yet to meet someone new. I'll be ok...
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