loveletters Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 So I've posted here before regarding the older MM I was involved with who is also my coworker (still). Anyway, we haven't been speaking at all since our huge fight in October (on his wife's birthday). No kisses, hugs, nothing! Although he has tried a few times. I do miss him and it's been a tough couple of months because I still do love him, I have such a soft spot for him... Hard to completely let go. So we've been giving each other the silent treatment since then and yesterday he unexpectedly asked me to meet him out front for a few minutes. I did just that and he handed me a Christmas gift which made me feel guilty. I then told him he was really sweet and he didn't have to at all, and we gave each other a hug. It definitely felt more like a friendship then lovers as we used to be. He told me that I'm still his favorite (whatever that means!! His favorite A??) I went home shortly after & opened it. I was curious and couldn't wait a week! It was a white & pink Jewelry box. With ballerina slippers painted on it. It sort of looked childish, like it was meant for a little girl =\ I really don't know what to make of it. It's pretty and all, but it has a childs touch to it..... Which made me feel like I was his ****ing daughter! UGH! It's really weird because the night before I was at the mall looking for a jewelry box for myself and he gives me this. I was happy yet a little weirded out at the same time. What do you ladies think??? I can't paste the link to the jewelry box here but it's by Mele & Co and called Pink Ballerina Jewelry Box
jj33 Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 Musical jewellry box? For a little girl. Im sure he meant well. Its feminine and its a sweet gift but it is a gift for a child. I had one when I was a kid with a ballerina dancing in it and I loved it. Clearly hes not a great present buyer. His wife may get a new mixer for xmas. Adult jewelry boxes are not typically whimsical and feminine in the same way, they are more functional. So his heart may have been in the right place but the result is a little bit creepy.
Gentlegirl Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 Sorry to be cynical but he knows you still have the soft spot for him.... I don't know about the jewellery box but it is really inappropriate. Don't be too happy about it. There could be strings attached. There would be no way I would accept a gift from xMM or give him a hug. He would view it as a foot back in the door GG
whichwayisup Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 I did just that and he handed me a Christmas gift which made me feel guilty. He did his job, he manipulated you into feeling guilty. So, he gave you a meaningless present. Told you that you were/are one of his favourites. How do you feel now? Is the A going to start up again? Do you really want a friendship/contact with a guy who not going to leave his wife and kids, divorce to be with you? RUN. Thank him for the gift, box it up and send it to a women's shelter. Donate it and forget about him. He is playing a game with you. Don't allow it!!!
Gentlegirl Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 xMM sent me a gift in the mail after Dday last Christmas Eve. I returned it by post, saying it didn't belong to me and I thought it was his wife's! Perhaps you should just return it and graciously say you don't accept gifts from married men...???? GG ps YOu are his favourite "what"?
LadyGrey Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 It sounds like a after-thought or a recycled something he dug up only designed to pull you in. If I were you, I'd return it by mail to his home wrapped up in brown paper with huge black letters, written several times. REFUSED. Let him explain that to his wife. You get two messages across that way, you aren't buying into his crap and a clear indication that you aren't above letting his wife know if he keeps contacting you. If I were you, I'd feel insulted.
RecordProducer Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 (edited) yesterday he unexpectedly asked me to meet him out front for a few minutes. How is that unexpected? He's been trying to make you his mistress again the whole time. He's smart enough not to push too hard because he only wants you on the side. I did just that and he handed me a Christmas gift which made me feel guilty. Guilty for him trying to manipulate you into getting back together with him? I then told him he was really sweet Giving a gift and hoping to get something in return is far from sweet. He told me that I'm still his favorite (whatever that means!! His favorite A??) Whatever that means he didn't tell you that you're his love or that he will divorce his wife for you. I went home shortly after & opened it. I was curious and couldn't wait a week! It was a white & pink Jewelry box. With ballerina slippers painted on it. It sort of looked childish, like it was meant for a little girl =\ I really don't know what to make of it. It's pretty and all, but it has a childs touch to it..... Which made me feel like I was his ****ing daughter! UGH! What do you ladies think??? I can't paste the link to the jewelry box here but it's by Mele & Co and called Pink Ballerina Jewelry Box He didn't buy you a piece of boc, he bought you an empty box - this is what he is giving you in reallife, as well. And that box symbolizes a cute vagina that opens for him to put his "jewel" inside. The vagina... I mean, the box, is cheap, too. Edited December 18, 2011 by RecordProducer
twinsmom Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I googled that jewelry box. Pretty much every description describes it as a "girl's" jewelry box. Furthermore, it's pretty much a cheap piece of junk. $20-$30 tops. Does he have a daughter? Like someone else said, maybe he recycled it. Did it have tags? It doesn't really matter anyway, though. It was just a cheap, and embarrassing, (to me, at least), attempt to lure you back in. Please don't fall for it. If i had received that "gift", I would be insulted beyond belief. Don't read into it more that it was, a cheap attempt to get back into your bed.
jj33 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Wow I really missed the boat on this one. If you have any inkling hes trying to get you back into the A its a very insulting gift. He should be embarrassed.
TigerCub Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Gives you a little girl's ballerina jewelery box Tells you that you're his favorite ? WOW - its totally like a dad giving a gift to HIS DAUGHTER who he managed to piss off and hurt. Can't you just see it. Honey, don't be fooled by a trinket. I think giving it back to him (in person, or preferably by mail) sends a strong message. This guy doesn't see you as a lover, he sees you as a naive little girl (much like his daughter) - and that's creepy on so many levels.
Fight4Me Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I couldn't help but Google it myself and.... um... yeah. Creeeepy weird! I'm wondering if he got mixed up and gave you the wrong gift. Does he have a young daughter or grandchild? Otherwise, I'd be inclined to keep it as a reminder as to how he sees you... like a child he can manipulate. It might help you to keep NC because.... dang.... that gift is just a huge turnoff. Regardless, shake this off and have a great Christmas and a MM-free New Year!
MissBee Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I googled that jewelry box. Pretty much every description describes it as a "girl's" jewelry box. Furthermore, it's pretty much a cheap piece of junk. $20-$30 tops. Does he have a daughter? Like someone else said, maybe he recycled it. Did it have tags? It doesn't really matter anyway, though. It was just a cheap, and embarrassing, (to me, at least), attempt to lure you back in. Please don't fall for it. If i had received that "gift", I would be insulted beyond belief. Don't read into it more that it was, a cheap attempt to get back into your bed. I agree. If it feels creepy....it's probably because it is.
despicableME Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 He told me that I'm still his favorite (whatever that means!! His favorite A??) C'mon... you KNOW what it means. If you're smart you won't get sucked back in... if you're smart.
phillyfan Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 Dude i aint bein funny, but sounds like this was an extra gift 4 his kid tht noone needed in the end, maybe sumone bought 2 of them by acident, so insted of returnin it 2 the store, u get it as a gift. Its kinda cheap 2 but wateva, money dont mean everythin. It aint really a gift u giv a grown woman tho dude.
RecordProducer Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 He didn't buy you a piece of boc, he bought you an empty boxOops, I meant to say he didn't buy you a piece of jewelry (not boc). I have no idea how that came out of my fingers.
2sunny Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 I'd hand it back in front of everyone and be sure they hear you tell him how inappropriate it was.
findingnemo Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 Love Letters, He gave you a gift. You said thank you and acted appropriately. Whether you liked it or not is not something you should discuss with him. I don't even think you should return it. Why engage him further? The gift was inappropriate, so donate it to Salvation Army or the nearest women's shelter and never mention it to him. Ever. Don't say you liked it or didn't like it. Just act like it meant nothing (which it did). What he said to you about being his favourite could mean anything really. But why analyze it? Don't go down that road. By ignoring him from now on, he will not be giving you any more gifts. Treat him like any other co-worker. He's history!
RecordProducer Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 I'd hand it back in front of everyone and be sure they hear you tell him how inappropriate it was.I would mail it to his wife - just to make him sweat!
2sunny Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 I would mail it to his wife - just to make him sweat! This was my other thought! His W has every right to know he's giving childish "gifts" to women (or even a woman). He IS responsible for his behavior - hold him accountable to his inappropriate way of participating - give it back! And make sure either co-workers or his wife understand you aren't accepting his "gifts".
RecordProducer Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 This was my other thought! His W has every right to know he's giving childish "gifts" to women (or even a woman). He IS responsible for his behavior - hold him accountable to his inappropriate way of participating - give it back! And make sure either co-workers or his wife understand you aren't accepting his "gifts".Hey, it's not like she was an innocent bystander in the affair! Not judging her, just saying, she's not really the victim here - unless if she was unaware he's married. There is value in learning the lesson called: Don't teach people that they can play with you.
2sunny Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 He knew he was engaging her when he gave the gift. He got what he intended = her thinking about him / wondering now "if it means something" - mission accomplished when she thanked him (inappropriate) and raced to open it. All that emotion over a 20.00 gift - who would've guessed? He's a sly one... His cheap antics are working on you...
RecordProducer Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 He knew he was engaging her when he gave the gift. He got what he intended = her thinking about him / wondering now "if it means something" - mission accomplished when she thanked him (inappropriate) and raced to open it. All that emotion over a 20.00 gift - who would've guessed? He's a sly one... His cheap antics are working on you...Unfortunately, we can't protect ourselves from that practice. Men will inject a shot of hope once in a while in order to get something - or just to mess with your heart. The only protection would have been for her to understand that that gift is not a sign of sweetness, but his attempt to get whatever he was getting from her. I also can't stand men's mentality of giving cheap presents so the woman doesn't think he cares about her too much. The gesture does matter and the gesture conveys a message that the woman has little worth. (Obviously, I am not talking about friends or relatives).
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