Is globetrotting supposed to be a turn-on?

[FitChick]

I like to travel but can't afford to do as much as I would like. Plus the TSA and airlines make it far less enjoyable than years ago. If a man likes to travel it tells me he is open minded, intelligent and adventurous, like me. I'm a visual person and love seeing new sights and experiencing different cultures firsthand.

[FitChick]

You didn't like the boobs or the person? Because I can hardly imagine how breast implants could turn someone into a bad person

 

I'm guessing she rejected him.

[dasein]

You didn't like the boobs or the person?

 

There have been several over the years, dated from a couple weeks to ten months or so. As far as "boobs or person," I don't like either. Even expensive breast implants feel fake to the touch, reduce sensitivity in the breasts and responsiveness. I'm big on sexual responsiveness.

 

As far as the person goes, women who previously had fine breasts who get breast augmentation tend to show all sorts of traits not compatible with me. I'll spare listing all the traits and starting the standard flame war here, but will say that every woman I've dated with implants scored very high on the DSMIV criteria for histrionic personality disorder. I wouldn't object to a truly flat woman, a cancer survivor or someone with real aesthetic problems such as a significant size imbalance getting implants, but those are few and far between. Vanity boobs though? No thanks, been there, done that.

 

Clear it up for you? Good.

[Taramere]

I've run into a significant number of women who have "must love to travel" as one of their dealbreakers, claiming that any man who doesn't "love to travel" is boring, timid and stupid. My guess is it's promulgated in women's magazines or relationship books, because it seems to be a quite common meme.

 

In Europe, going off backpacking during university holidays (or, for some, on a year off) is very common amongst males and females. If it's a longer period of time, working abroad would be common. When I did it, I spent a bit of time working with horses in Australia. It's an adventure, and it's fun. I can't think of a reason not to take that opportunity..especially as you meet lots of like-minded people. Albeit I'm not in touch with them now, but this was all long before Facebook.

 

The reality, of course, is that you will find very, very few heterosexual men who list travel as a hobby.

 

That claim surprises me, as so many men I've met enjoy travelling. Just to test it out, I did a check of men in my area on a free dating site. Travel was listed time and time again. Or some of them listed "foreign holidays" and specified that the woman must like going abroad. For comparison I checked men in the US (Idaho) and none of the ones I saw (it only let me check 4 pages) mentioned travel. There was lots about hunting, fishing, hiking and cycling....but I didn't see much mention of travelling.

 

One of the weaknesses of LS as an international resource is that it tends to focus on American tastes and attitudes....and the tastes/experiences of people from other Western cultures (eg tastes, hobbies, social customs etc) can be dismissed as not the norm, when in fact those experiences often are the norm for others.

 

 

According to the evolutionary biologists, it apparently has something to do with

women craving foreign sperm

 

Well why wouldn't evolutionary biologists see it in those terms? It's their job to break everything down to people's sexual motives and basic drives. I'm not discounting what they say as being irrelevant....but I wouldn't bank on the evolutionary biologists having the whole picture, however confident they might be that their field has all the answers with regard to human behaviour. That the human species produces great composers, artists, writers, philosophers, discoverers and inventors demonstrates that human beings have needs more complex than simply getting food and sex.

 

so now whenever I hear that a woman "loves to travel", I laugh on the inside because I translate that as "I search for foreign men to impregnate me" and wonder why I am supposed to find that attractive.

 

That's an assumption based on one school of thought...again, by people whose work is all about examining sexual motives in people's behaviour (and whose funding as scientists requires society to place great stock in their theories).

 

Travel itself is neither good nor bad, but it gets annoying when women imbue this (and many, many othertrivial matters) with huge significance when it really doesn't matter at all.

 

People will tend to want others with common interests. If one in a couple enjoys travelling and the other is a homebody, that's potentially going to be a problem. Just as an example...my parents both enjoy travelling (though my father enjoys it less so now that he's older). I don't think either of them would have been very happy married to somebody who never wanted to visit foreign places.

 

It's something that people would ideally want to do with their partner, which is presumably why so many women are stressing travel as a hobby. That they want somebody who is open to visiting places abroad.

Edited December 18, 2011 by Taramere

[FitChick]

As far as the person goes, women who previously had fine breasts who get breast augmentation tend to show all sorts of traits not compatible with me.

 

Seems to me you would know that before you saw her naked and had sex. But then you wouldn't get sex, would you...

[dasein]

Seems to me you would know that before you saw her naked and had sex. But then you wouldn't get sex, would you...

 

Seems to me you don't know thing one about HPD or the tendency of people to hide character flaws until well after first sex. And FYI, I don't "get" sex any more than I "give" it. Sex is a two way street, not some divine gift women bestow on fortunate men. Or maybe I'm wrong and it's just "stock in trade."

[norajane]

People will tend to want others with common interests. If one in a couple enjoys travelling and the other is a homebody, that's potentially going to be a problem. Just as an example...my parents both enjoy travelling (though my father enjoys it less so now that he's older). I don't think either of them would have been very happy married to somebody who never wanted to visit foreign places.

 

It's something that people would ideally want to do with their partner, which is presumably why so many women are stressing travel as a hobby. That they want somebody who is open to visiting places abroad.

 

Yes, this. I don't do online dating, but if I did, I would list "must like to travel" as one of my criteria. And that would include travel to foreign countries, as well as within the US. When I lived on the West Coast, my sister and I took two road trips to visit a bunch of National Parks in California and Oregon, and those trips are favorite experiences and memories for me.

 

I would want to share that with my honey, too. I just came back from a trip to Dubai with a friend, and the whole time I was there, I thought about how much my honey would have enjoyed the trip and I would have really liked to have him experience that with me. I don't think I could "end up" with someone who didn't like travel as that's something I enjoy doing and enjoy doing even MORE with the man in my life.

[TaurusTerp]

You should move to the midwest, OP. Plenty of girls here that are content to stay within a 20 mile radius of their farm and have no desire to try anything new.

 

I'm sick of it and can't wait to get out, but sounds like your speed.

[fatalcharm]

I am a homebody myself, and although I would like to travel a little and see parts of the world, I am really one of those "Journey within" people and don't need to travel to have an adventure.

 

I don't mind dating guys who have travelled. I like to hear their stories, however I did once date a guy who told me "Anyone who hasn't been overseas by our age (28) is an idiot" and I found this incredibly insulting. First of all, although he would have liked to think otherwise, he was far from worldly. He had recently gone on his first trip overseas to Bali -I am sure it is an amazing and interesting place but the way this guy was talking about how well travelled he was, you would have expected that he had been all around the world and then some. Secondly, just because I haven't been overseas it doesn't mean that I haven't experienced amazing and wonderful things in my life. Thirdly, I am not an idiot. Well, that is debatable but calling someone an idiot simply because they haven't been overseas before is very narrow minded in my opinion -exactly the opposite to the impression that he was trying to give me.

 

I recently just got out of a relationship with a guy who travelled a lot around the country (Australia) it seemed that he couldn't stay in one place for too long and it turns out that he had multiple girlfriends in multiple states. This hasn't turned me off from people who have travelled, but I will be very wary next time I meet someone who travells a lot.

 

There have been times that I have mentioned to people that I haven't travelled much and they give me this look, like I have just murderd an innocent kitten or something. Most people are okay, but there are a few who do seem to judge you if you haven't seen what they have seen. Thing is I do go on hollidays a lot, I have seen some incredibly beautiful parts of my own country and state that a lot of people don't even know exist.

 

It's just how I am, I don't have to travel far to see beautiful sights or experience different cultures. I get a lot of that around here, and although I would like to go overseas and broaden my horizens, I don't think that myself or anyone else is an idiot for not having gone overseas.

[El Brujo]

At this point, I'd have to ask:

Would travel-a-lot women be more turned on by a jerk who's traveled to every country he could get into---and maybe did a little time in jail in a few of them, or a well-mannered, successful guy who's never been out of his own state (hey, it's not impossible...)?

[Emilia]

At this point, I'd have to ask:

Would travel-a-lot women be more turned on by a jerk who's traveled to every country he could get into---and maybe did a little time in jail in a few of them, or a well-mannered, successful guy who's never been out of his own state (hey, it's not impossible...)?

 

Neither.

 

A guy that can't get himself in and out of countries without landing himself in jail is a moron. It isn't a likely situation though, people that travel usually have their wits about themselves enough not to get into trouble. I don't think any westerners want to experience African jails for example.

 

A well-mannered, successful guy who has never been out of his own state is likely to be narrow minded and not very interesting so that's a no too.

[soserious1]

It becomes irritating when one or a few people insist on telling you of their adventures (and misadventures) every time they see you... to me those people are trying to use their experience as a stick to hit you with, to make you feel like you're missing out. These are the kind of people who'd fly to Mars and come back and drive you up the wall about all the fun they had (even the part where the rocket broke down). Guess what? It never made me feel gypped, and it never will.

 

BTW I DID enjoy a tour of the Southwest a few years ago, thank you... the Grand Canyon, White Sands and the Petrified Forest, and Carlsbad Caverns. All of those places were more than enough to make my imagination run wild (and it didn't want to shut up afterward)... but I couldn't take my woodworking shed with me.

 

But then there's sightseeing, and then there's talking to another country's "hillbillies" to get an idea how the locals really feel, far away from the glitz and glamor. Believe me, I've talked to some real interesting foreign hillbillies on the radio... you're missing out on a whole experience yourself if you've never talked to any of these people without having to get on a plane.

 

When I share details about a traveling experience with a friend I do so because we are friends, not to "hit them with a stick"

 

Seriously, do you ever talk about the things you are doing, projects you're excited about with your friends?

[O'Malley]

I don't think I could "end up" with someone who didn't like travel as that's something I enjoy doing and enjoy doing even MORE with the man in my life.

 

Exactly.

 

Would travel-a-lot women be more turned on by a jerk who's traveled to every country he could get into---and maybe did a little time in jail in a few of them, or a well-mannered, successful guy who's never been out of his own state (hey, it's not impossible...)?

I'd never date or travel with someone who has the propensity to land in jail, whether it occurs here or abroad.

 

While I prefer living in a rural area, I've encountered plenty of people here who have no inclination to travel at all, even to different regions of the U.S. It doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't educated or open minded, but I enjoy being with someone who shares that interest.

[oaks]

When I hear a woman brag that she has gone to all these exotic places and seen all these landmarks, it's an instant turnoff to me,

 

Fair enough.

 

 

I'm a homebody, and I enjoy staying home and making things more than I'd ever enjoy traveling. Honyockland isn't my home.

 

But I'm probably the only one.

 

Far from it. Only 37% of Americans even have a passport, and not all of those that have one actually use it.

[Nexus One]

At this point, I'd have to ask:

Would travel-a-lot women be more turned on by a jerk who's traveled to every country he could get into---and maybe did a little time in jail in a few of them, or a well-mannered, successful guy who's never been out of his own state (hey, it's not impossible...)?

 

Like I said Brujo, travelling isn't necessarily only about location, it's also about adventure, meeting people and enjoying yourself.

 

Some people like to go to crowded beaches, personally I really dislike crowded beaches. I'm more into vast mountainous terrain where you can walk for miles and miles without seeing another soul. I don't do that for others, I do that for myself.

 

And unless you've experienced some vast and beautiful landscapes with your own eyes, you'll have no idea how it can make you feel. Seeing it on photos does NOT compare to seeing yourself with your own eyes. It makes for unforgettable experiences. Moving is living.

[dasein]

Far from it. Only 37% of Americans even have a passport, and not all of those that have one actually use it.

 

Have seen this statistic before. It needs to be taken with a grain of salt though because the U.S. is the most diverse and heterogenous landmass on the planet, with the equivalent of many different "countries" and broadly differing cultures contained within its borders. One could develop quite a sense of different cultures, ethnic makeup, tradition, going on a circuit to LA, NYC, New Orleans, Omaha, Charleston, Miami, and a thousand places in between that is more distinct than the intraborder variations between other more homogenous countries. No need of a passport for U.S. citizens to travel cross-culturally within its borders.

[oaks]

Have seen this statistic before. It needs to be taken with a grain of salt though because the U.S. is the most diverse and heterogenous landmass on the planet, with the equivalent of many different "countries" and broadly differing cultures contained within its borders. One could develop quite a sense of different cultures, ethnic makeup, tradition, going on a circuit to LA, NYC, New Orleans, Omaha, Charleston, Miami, and a thousand places in between that is more distinct than the intraborder variations between other more homogenous countries. No need of a passport for U.S. citizens to travel cross-culturally within its borders.

 

Agreed, but the context was "globetrotting" for which USA-ians still need a passport.

[Mutant Debutante]

At this point, I'd have to ask:

Would travel-a-lot women be more turned on by a jerk who's traveled to every country he could get into---and maybe did a little time in jail in a few of them, or a well-mannered, successful guy who's never been out of his own state (hey, it's not impossible...)?

 

Wow, it's a good thing those aren't the only options.

 

I've never really been anywhere but California and Canada on a few road trips, but yeah, someday I definitely want to get to travel...there's a lot out there I want to see. I have always been pinned down by responsibilites or lack of $ so I would never get serious about anybody who didn't understand that I want to make traveling a big priority before I start having kids and get pinned down again.

[Woggle]

Yes it is very attractive but it also depends and what kind of traveling we are talking about. If she actually has an interest in seeing the world that is a huge plus but if she just wants a place away from home where she can get drunk and do stupid things I can see how it is a turn off. I have been all over the world and I would not trade those experiences for anything.

[El Brujo]

Seriously, do you ever talk about the things you are doing, projects you're excited about with your friends?

 

Not unless they express avid curiosity about my projects.

[Negative Nancy]

While traveling is nice, I can't say it's a huge "turn-on" for me. I have seen alot of dating profiles where people talk about how much they just love to travel. For me, it's become kind of cliche.

 

I enjoy traveling here and there but I don't want to be a globetrotter. I am more of a homebody too. Although I do appreicate different places and it's nice to go to different places sometimes. How a man would talk about his traveling experiences would matter more then anything. As other people pointed out here.

 

I agree. I used to travel quite a bit in my early 20s and sometimes I think back of those times because it was an awesome time. There's still a couple place that I'd like to see, but with my partner, and certainly not in a restless, always on-the-run globetrotter kind of way. I'm half a homebody, half a traveller. Ideally I'd have a safe harbor from which I could start a couple trips from and return to and be a homebody again. There's these kind of people that you can tell just travel around to brag at home about it and show off to everone: "I was there". These are the kind of people I can't stand. Besides, there's only one or two travel stories that were really interesting to hear and read. mostly I don't care about other people's trips - I wanna have my own experiences, only those are truly interesting.

Edited December 20, 2011 by Negative Nancy

[carhill]

If one has family and friends around the world, 'globe-trotting' is merely a means of physical connection. That other cultures and societies are part of the milieu only enriches the life experience.

 

I personally enjoy hearing other people's travel stories and many a domestic and international flight has 'flown' by listening and talking back and forth. Such conversations often perk my interest and, if not for listening to one person's anecdote of their own experiences, I wouldn't have known about another interesting experience to potentially discover. To me, the people are as or more important than the places. The people I've met in my travels are an invaluable and irreplaceable part of my life experience. Our humanity ties this globe together.

[RecordProducer]

There have been several over the years, dated from a couple weeks to ten months or so. As far as "boobs or person," I don't like either. Even expensive breast implants feel fake to the touch, reduce sensitivity in the breasts and responsiveness. I'm big on sexual responsiveness.

 

As far as the person goes, women who previously had fine breasts who get breast augmentation tend to show all sorts of traits not compatible with me. I'll spare listing all the traits and starting the standard flame war here, but will say that every woman I've dated with implants scored very high on the DSMIV criteria for histrionic personality disorder. I wouldn't object to a truly flat woman, a cancer survivor or someone with real aesthetic problems such as a significant size imbalance getting implants, but those are few and far between. Vanity boobs though? No thanks, been there, done that.

 

Clear it up for you? Good.

No, actually you didn't clear it up. You still didn't explain the connection between the fake boobs and the personality traits. So far, the only common denominator you stated was that YOU were dating all these women.

[RecordProducer]

At this point, I'd have to ask:

Would travel-a-lot women be more turned on by a jerk who's traveled to every country he could get into---and maybe did a little time in jail in a few of them, or a well-mannered, successful guy who's never been out of his own state (hey, it's not impossible...)?

I hate to admit, but the former would probably be more of a turn on. I just can't imagine what kind of a dull, bland person would never leave his own state.