Does she even knows I like her?

[Lost_Guy]

I knew this girl about 2 years ago. I admit I am not the most macho of guy and you could even call me wimpy. Anyway, back then I was after another girl who rejected me real bad. She(The girl I currently like) knew me back at that time so she kinda knows the story of how infuriated I was with that girl back then. That was quite some time ago but I already mostly gotten over it.

 

I never really took a notice to her until recently, like half a year ago. Aside from work we almost never spoke to each other except that one time she asked me a random nerd question that doesn't make any sense that she would ask. She isn't your run-of-the-mill bubbly girl, she is pretty much a loner and a nerd that likes comics, video games, etc. You get the point.

 

Last school term, I wanted to try to interact more with her before asking her to go out with me. It did not help that I barely see her in school, perhaps only once or twice a week. I tried to interact with her and tried to sit beside her when there is a chance to. I did not make it too obvious though, we had common friends so we would just all sit together. We do occassionally get lone time together. I would say it is not too bad. Though everytime we are alone it gets a little awkward because I am an awkward nerd too and I do not really know what to say in times like that. But we do manage to talk, not too in-depth though, we would talk about conventions and a little about our hobbies. She does attempt to talk to me too and ask me about events that I attended. Though she said she does not really like events with a lot of people. I do not want to read too much into it because I am not really good with girls and this is pretty normal for most people I guess.

 

I thought I would try to interact with her more by trying to chat her up over MSN. But she gets really cold over MSN. Unlike other girls I know that would attempt to chat with you, she simply answers your question. I do not know if that is her style of talking over MSN or is it just me since I do not recall ever giving any signs of liking her for her to behave this way. I mean, we chat with friends right?

 

Besides, the other day, we were on the train to school and she asked me for my contacts saying that she lost it. She also asked me to submit a document for her when she could clearly do it herself and there were others around she could have asked. This must at least mean she is comfortable with me and trusts me right?

 

So now that examinations are over, and there is an event coming up this weekend, I thought I asked her to go with me but she said no. Okay, so I told her it was sad because nobody else wanted to go. Not the best of excuse I know. But I cannot help but wonder if she even knows I like her?

Edited December 17, 2011 by Lost_Guy

[Wolf18]

Don't dillydally, after 2 years your chances are already pretty low, but still, take a shot of whiskey, do a rubix cube, or meditate or whatever it takes to ask her out face to face.

 

I don't want to be a wet blanket, but brace yourself for rejection as its a possibility. Just because a girl is an awkward nerd, doesn't mean she's open to dating other awkward nerds. Be more masculine, this world has no place for meek men (jesus was wrong).

[zig]

Be more masculine, this world has no place for meek men (jesus was wrong).

 

What do you think about gay men then? Not to stereotype, but all of the gay men I know are feminine. I'm not sure where you were trying to go with that statement. Just asking.

[zig]

OP just ask her out. I agree with Wolf that the chances are low because it's been so long. But, maybe she has a secret crush on you and there is only one way to find out.

 

Since the whole thing is long in the tooth and you already know her as friends I would suggest taking a slower approach than a typical romantic date with a kiss on the lips at the end. Get what I'm saying?

[DearAbby]

Why don't you ask her next time you talk to her. What's an activity you really want to do that you haven't done in awhile. She will tell you and then say Let's do it!!!! Listen very carefully to hear her interests

[O'Malley]

What event did you ask her out to? If it was an event or convention that she previously mentioned she's uncomfortable going to, you shouldn't be surprised by her refusal. It does sound like she is seeking you out; that's a good sign.

 

She sounds shy and is obviously more introverted, so you're going to have to do more of the initiating here, not just with contact, but with most of the elements of any relationship. If you feel that she's worth it, why not take a risk and put yourself out there? It's far preferable to dwelling on, two years from now, about what might have occurred had you made your interest clear.

 

I'd steer towards talking in real life to her as much as possible, either in person or by phone, rather than texting or online. Give her your phone number and ask for hers. And then call. When you see her on the train or at school, ask her if she'd like to get coffee or something to eat with you -- mention a specific time. Great if she says yes, and if she turns you down, rejection isn't fun, but let her see the best of you (the great guy she is choosing to miss out on) and stop focusing on her as a romantic prospect.

Edited December 17, 2011 by O'Malley

[Necromancer]

Like a always say,either she wants you or not...chances of rejection are very high....just prepare to get rejected.

 

The worst thing guys can do is thinking to much of 1 girl,because she knows she can get you and really that lowers your value.

[jobaba]

I knew this girl about 2 years ago. I admit I am not the most macho of guy and you could even call me wimpy...

 

 

I didn't even have to read the rest of your post after the first two sentences, but I skimmed it and it pretty much confirmed my beliefs.

 

You need to stop being a doormat. Today.

 

I don't know who posted this, I think it was here, but it's very good and I used it in a time of need not long ago when I needed a confidence boost...

 

You have to change the way you think entirely, do you think you can do that?

 

Since youre in school, all the women there are young and you treat them differently, to varying degrees or course. Theres ways to have the bad boy traits without actually being an a$$ whole.

 

• Treat them all like youre little sister. Dont be afraid to Tease them, poke a lil fun (not at their looks though). Dont do it all the time, but once in a while. Dont be mean, which varies depending on the personality youre dealing with, but you will learn how to walk the lines.
  
• You have to act like you dont need them. Eventually when you get enough attention, you really wont. Its all about not needing their attention, that way you can act like youre not really interested yet, which gives them the challenge to make you like them. Its all about acting like you have a booty call already lined up for you just in case anyone else doesnt work out. They smell that attitude.
  
• Dont get attached to women that you dont know or havent kissed yet. Nothing hurts like being rejected by a woman that you got attached to too soon.
  
• Dont offer to do ANYTHING for them, they have to earn your attention and favors.
  
• Make sure you dont talk about negative things about yourself. No body likes a downer. You should always be upbeat, and dont point out your flaws, or anyone elses.
  
• Dont tell them you like them, dont expose too much of your personal life to women that you havent kissed yet.
  
• Make sure you dont look like a slob, with young women, depending on how they look, style matters. Just look neat.
  
• If you talk to a group of them, dont pay too much attention to just one, make sure they all will find you charming. After a while you can isolate the one you like from the group once they all like you.
  
• Dont aks any of them for their email or FB address. Ask them for their numbers if you want to get in contact with them. if you text them or call them, and they dont call you back within a half a day, they arent interested enough. if you were charming enough to them, and they like you, they will offer their phone number, you give them yours, they will wind up calling you first. Then you know youre in.
  

Use that and change yourself. Always trying to help my fellow marginalized brothas...