bamaguy20 Posted May 30, 2004 Posted May 30, 2004 thought i was getting over my ex girlfriend..been hanign out with friends keeping busy all that stuff...tonite find out she "might be" talking to/hooking up with this other guy, and i get that same old feeling back in my stomach...i cant deal with this **** anymore...its killing me, i feel like if it keeps goin on its going to start affecting my everyday life....i dont want to do this **** anymore, i feel so ****ing bad right now, its the worst feeling in the world...i want to be over her, i dont want to worry about this, i want to move on, bc obvioulsy she has, its just so ****ing painful....i dont know what to do anymore...
uriel Posted May 30, 2004 Posted May 30, 2004 I'm very sorry this news has hit you so hard. It's completely normal to relapse into the bad hurt when you find out about your ex hooking up. Happens to everyone. All I can say is, ride it out and keep taking care of yourself as best you can. This pain will lessen over time. You will love again. Trust in that future, even if the present hurts like h*ll. Do your best from now on to avoid any news of her. Just assume she's seeing other people and moved on. That way, you won't get as many shocks. -- uriel
LILUIL Posted May 30, 2004 Posted May 30, 2004 Originally posted by uriel I'm very sorry this news has hit you so hard. It's completely normal to relapse into the bad hurt when you find out about your ex hooking up. Happens to everyone. All I can say is, ride it out and keep taking care of yourself as best you can. This pain will lessen over time. You will love again. Trust in that future, even if the present hurts like h*ll. Do your best from now on to avoid any news of her. Just assume she's seeing other people and moved on. That way, you won't get as many shocks. -- uriel Hey bamaguy20, Uriel is right. You gotta take care of yourself now. Look, she's moving on.... she's getting her life going. She's not going to feel sorry for you and come running back. You gotta realise this. Stay away from her and if friends are gonna tell you about her, turn away, it's just gonna hurt you more to keep little bits of her around. When i went through a very bad break up and was in an emotional state similar to yours now, i chose one thing i really liked and just literally push all my obsession and passion into it..... at that time it was American Pool..... played non stop, every day, blowing so much money on the game and it took me three months before i felt like a proper human again. Bro, it might help you to try something similar.... Hope you feel better soon.... take care. ___________________________________________ "If you are going through hell, keep going" Sir Winston Churchill
LostWithoutYou Posted May 30, 2004 Posted May 30, 2004 bamaguy20, hey, don't worry I feel like that from time to time. At first, it was very hard for me to even think another guy was trying to hook up with my ex g/f and I felt like s***. All these images goes through my mind and stuff. But what you have to realized is that apparently she moved on and so should you. I mean, think of it this way, if you really love her and wants the best for her, set her free and if you're meant to be, she'll be back. For now, all you can do is take care of yourself the best way that you can. Time will heal your wounds...best of luck!
will_woman Posted May 30, 2004 Posted May 30, 2004 You have to keep any news of her out of your world. Any bits news about her will make you feel very bad. For me, I am in midst of divorce proceedings...actually not quite sure how things will turn out. It's because start to involve legal stuff and that drags time. That's the worst part of everything. I am still kind of so-called attached to my aXXhole husband. It's been seven months since he admitted he has fallen for a new girl. And that happened in foreign land and I was also there. He made me traveled there and then BOOM!!!! he finally admitted his new love. Anyone can imagine the hell of life I have gone through. After so many months, I can still cried from time to time. Maybe I am just too slow in healing or it's due to us unsettled divorce. So, I totally encouraged you to shut yourself from her and her happenings. Actually, I am not sure what is closure. Getting over a person is called closure. Anyone can share?
Author bamaguy20 Posted May 30, 2004 Author Posted May 30, 2004 its just so hard to imagine, because this was my first serious girlfriend, first girl i ever loved, i was the first guy she had ever had sex with, shes never loved any like me before...it was clear that we were so perfect for each other....yeah things happened, so on and so forth...but this isnt just a typical ex...which is why this is so hard.....we were both so madly in love....unfrotunatly she let other people come between that down at school, but thats another story....i just dont see how two people so in love cant be together..and when i hear of her talking to another guy, it just kills me, i feel like dying it hurts so bad....i cant live like this always....i feel like im goin tbackwards, i was passed the crying and all that ****, and now i am back to doing it again..i hate this...
uriel Posted May 30, 2004 Posted May 30, 2004 Everybody thinks their love wasn't a typical love. You'll do better accepting that other people here and all around you in the world have felt that too and lost it somehow more often than not. Sucks, but it's reality. -- uriel
Author bamaguy20 Posted May 30, 2004 Author Posted May 30, 2004 that may be..but i guess in reality its besides the point.....i need to find a way to deal with these emotions...what do i tell myself, what do i think, what do i do to get over this...there has to be some sort of silver lining to all of this..???
uriel Posted May 31, 2004 Posted May 31, 2004 I don't think there's any real silver lining. You chalk it up to experience. It matures you -- makes you judge your next partner and yourself and relationships more realistically. It doesn't guarantee success in future relationships. It doesn't have a happy ending. It's just life -- only the pursuit of happiness is guaranteed. Happiness itself -- when dependent on getting your needs met by others or outside sources -- is temporary. There's some comfort in realizing you're not alone in the heartache, though. Saves you from mythologizing this into the one and only great love ever in your life or anyone else's. You need to realize that each time you love, you run the risk of heartbreak but also of getting something amazing. The past doesn't predict the future unless you refuse to learn from it. Is that a silver lining? More like common sense. Just take care of yourself, avoid learning more about her life, and get on with yours. That's the best way to heal. -- uriel
estakado Posted May 31, 2004 Posted May 31, 2004 Dude aww man whatever you do when you do think about her is to let it all out and cry...cry and just let it out. **** I just broke down yesterday on the street when I was in line to go clubbin. And I tell ya going to danceclubs SUCKS when you think you are over your ex but really not. Enough about me though. Yeah the time heals all wounds sounds corny but it is true. Try and do this and do this if you didnt read my last posts....CLEAN HOUSE! and put away all the things that remind you of her. Jot down her personal info like address, email and phone numbers and then ERASE all that ****. YOU GOTTA STOP thinking about her if you can. Then when your done cleaning and re-arranging things, start to re-arrange your schedule and go to different places, even corny ones like a museum or get a haircut or go shopping for new gear. Make sure you get the HOT saleslady to help you pick out clothes. Yeah dude it SUX! Just like the song says you gotta let it burn and soon the burn will die out. **** my girl is prolly gettin some from some dude now....but you know what? I been had her every which way already and think about it, now that you can assume that your girl moved on with some scumbag, do you really think you can take her back? What about the trust? DONT CALL HER! If you even want too just dont. Think about it, your conversation isnt gonna be a good one anyways to why waste your time. And if you do talk to her just tell her that you are still hurt but you are busy with your job or something. I'm living the same thing....yeah everyday seems to be the same day. But I am getting out there and I am getting stronger. I actually think that I can enjoy this summer after all. ^ ^ Anyways dude just do a little for yourself 1 day at a time, **** buy a new stereo, join a Gym, go to a strip club.....Dont beat yourself up. Take a walk if you have too. You know you will never forget her and you prolly told your girl like I did that you'll always be there for her. You've let her know that so now just let her go through with her weakness. When she runs into you or you run into her friends be sure to let them know that you have been working out or got a new hobby or passion in life. You can do it bro. Your best friend is you.
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