SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 So I made it to my goal of trying to nc by friday...lasted 2 days I broke it in the morning becuase I saw some advice on a thread. Short conversation we had. We did clear some stuff up so I take it as a good thing that I did contact her. I didn't want her to have this over all opinion of her being angry at me. It wouldn't of made room for reconciliation as that anger would still be ther down the road. I don't feel bad that I broke NC but I feel as if this made a better opportunity for her to contact me since we cleared some stuff. Hopefully this will get rid of her anger towards me. How ever, after having the conversation... I deleted her phone number! To me thats a big step forward despited having to break nc. I didn't feel bad deleting the number and the conversation ended on both of us saying. Well she said "ok sorry" i said "ok ty" that was the end. I do have her phone number some where on a different device and since I rarely look at that device for contacts it will be easier for me to not talk to her. And I will recognize her number incase she does contact me. In the end, I guess breaking nc was a good step towards my healing process and now I should be ab;e to go more than 2 days. Talk about baby steps. Her end: I think she is still on her "freedom high" and when she cracks down then she'll see what she left behind. But by that time it will be too late. My end: I accepted that reconciliation is not going to happen as of now. But since I don't know the future, things could change. And yes I do hope that she has not done anything with anybody if she does come back becuase then I won't take her back since I feel she will be "soiled". But I accept my loss, and this time I really do accept it.
M2155 Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 I did the same thing at one point and had the same outcome. I felt better temporarily but felt horrible in the days after (well not horrible but not great). I felt like I made peace TOO much so I was sad now instead of angry. I wanted to somehow say "bye" on good terms but in the end I felt like I just made him feel better. But, what's done is done. I don't sweat it anymore and don't really worry about how he feels because what I failed to do all along was put my heart first. You called her, you said what you wanted, you deleted the number. Thats a good step. Now keep working on moving forward. It's a process. I've been where you are having those exact same thoughts and I bet in time you won't care if she comes back or not. (I know, hard to imagine)
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 I did the same thing at one point and had the same outcome. I felt better temporarily but felt horrible in the days after (well not horrible but not great). I felt like I made peace TOO much so I was sad now instead of angry. I wanted to somehow say "bye" on good terms but in the end I felt like I just made him feel better. But, what's done is done. I don't sweat it anymore and don't really worry about how he feels because what I failed to do all along was put my heart first. You called her, you said what you wanted, you deleted the number. Thats a good step. Now keep working on moving forward. It's a process. I've been where you are having those exact same thoughts and I bet in time you won't care if she comes back or not. (I know, hard to imagine) I just want to keep fighting but I can't and know I shouldn't...I just want the new year to come so I can put everything behind. Throw in the towel and let a new begining. And I just really hope she sees what she throwing away.
M2155 Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 You don't need the calendar to change for a new beginning. There is nothing that turns off the feelings you are having right now and you need to feel them as they will continue to change. But it will get better. She may never know if she realizes it or not, be ok with that. There is going to be someone better for you in the future who doesn't need to dump you to appreciate you.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 You don't need the calendar to change for a new beginning. There is nothing that turns off the feelings you are having right now and you need to feel them as they will continue to change. But it will get better. She may never know if she realizes it or not, be ok with that. There is going to be someone better for you in the future who doesn't need to dump you to appreciate you. Your right, she may never wake up. But its not me to worry, It is what it is and I HOPE she does realize... People just see the New Year as an automatic restart for changes and a new begning. I guess the New Year speeds all that up.
Art_Critic Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 First off Sky.. it gets easier the more time that passes.. Heartbreak is tough but remember that you need to follow NC in order to heal.. You have yet to even implement NC.. you look for any reason to contact her and even created a couple of creative ways to do it .. You should realize that by pushing yourself onto another person you push them away from you, not closer to you and will also ruin any chance of any reconciliation of the future. Please do not contact her and don't look for any shred of advice on LS in these posts for a reason to contact her.. By the way.. for the record.. You are in NC when you don't contact her.. NC= NO CONTACT You have been in constant contact with her every single day almost.. and yes.. smoke signals are contact and so is sending cards etc or creating fake FB profiles and texting her is also contact.. Time will fix this Sky.. you will heal and find another girl that trips your trigger even harder than this last one did.. Trust Me...
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 First off Sky.. it gets easier the more time that passes.. Heartbreak is tough but remember that you need to follow NC in order to heal.. You have yet to even implement NC.. you look for any reason to contact her and even created a couple of creative ways to do it .. You should realize that by pushing yourself onto another person you push them away from you, not closer to you and will also ruin any chance of any reconciliation of the future. Please do not contact her and don't look for any shred of advice on LS in these posts for a reason to contact her.. By the way.. for the record.. You are in NC when you don't contact her.. NC= NO CONTACT You have been in constant contact with her every single day almost.. and yes.. smoke signals are contact and so is sending cards etc or creating fake FB profiles and texting her is also contact.. Time will fix this Sky.. you will heal and find another girl that trips your trigger even harder than this last one did.. Trust Me... Yea, your right Art It has been getting difficult but in a way I'm glad I did contact her this morning becuase I was able to delete her number afterwards. It wasn't a bad convo or anything infact I forgot what it was about thats how unimportant it was. I'm just taking it baby steps but I have seen some progress...
Art_Critic Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 I'm just taking it baby steps but I have seen some progress... as they say in AA.. "One Day At a Time".. Keep on keeping on...
Standard-Fare Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 I think deleting the phone number is the way to go and a big step. I did that, too. I quickly wrote down his number and shoved that piece of paper in a very hard to reach place (that requires a ladder for me to reach LOL). I don't have the number memorized so it's going to save me from sending a lot of angsty and/or drunken text messages. I've also deleted him from my email contacts but unfortunately that's easier to remember. I wonder if there's any good way to block myself there.
chados Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 if you do want her back, please listen. youre feeling good right now because you contacted her, everybody feels that way. but in the long run its just gonna ruin your chances. i would enjoy talking with my ex, but 1 day maybe 1 week after that i would feel different. they dont want to talk with you, they just want to feel needed, or knowing that theres still feelings from your part. its selfish, it will always be selfish. dont fall for it.
chados Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 and by the way. keep this tread updated instead of making new ones. so people know where you stand. its easier to help you out
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