FitChick Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 One couple's story after ten years and three children. There is something special about being married after all. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2074204/The-day-I-finally-realised-marriage-matters.html
allina Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 I think that's a very sweet story. I like how it's not at all focused on the wedding day but instead it focuses on family and life. I've always believed in marriage though I've never been marriage focused, if that makes sense. Looking at my husband and knowing that he loves me and believes in me enough to marry me is the best thing I have ever experienced.
xxoo Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 That part about being acknowledged as a wife instead of a gf, or as a widow after death, really matters to me. For me, the wedding day was just a step in getting what I wanted: a marriage. I wore a white dress, but it cost less than my H's suit (and his suit was pretty cheap ).
The Blue Knight Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 The quote that jumped out at me from the article was this: "Suddenly, at 40, mortality seems more fragile, those I love more vulnerable — there is so much more to lose. Marriage cannot prevent bad things happening, but maybe it makes it easier to bear. It’s more than a piece of paper, it’s an attitude. It’s time to opt in, not out." For some reason, our current westernized society struggles with ideas of commitment . . . particularly long term commitment. It's odd when you look back to our grand parents generation and the idea of commitment was seldom ever considered or discussed. There were so few divorces from that era of people who were part of the WWII generation. Just an entirely different attitude than what we see today.
frozensprouts Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 The quote that jumped out at me from the article was this: "Suddenly, at 40, mortality seems more fragile, those I love more vulnerable — there is so much more to lose. Marriage cannot prevent bad things happening, but maybe it makes it easier to bear. It’s more than a piece of paper, it’s an attitude. It’s time to opt in, not out." For some reason, our current westernized society struggles with ideas of commitment . . . particularly long term commitment. It's odd when you look back to our grand parents generation and the idea of commitment was seldom ever considered or discussed. There were so few divorces from that era of people who were part of the WWII generation. Just an entirely different attitude than what we see today. makes sense to me... my husband and i have been married a little over 14 years, and it always surprises me and also makes me kind of sad when people are surprised by that and go on about what a long time that is. not sure why our society is like this so much today...maybe we see everything as disposable, maybe we want instant gratification,maybe we are more concerned for "me" than 'we", maybe we just plain have too much time on our hands our our attention spans are too short...maybe divorce is too easy, maybe people spend too much time focused on the wedding and not what comes after...i don't know the answer, but i wish that i did. i don't know, but when i got married, i always saw it as being a permanent situation, and divorce was only an option of 'last resort"...marriage, to me, is my way of creating a family for my self, my husband and our children, and was not to be taken lightly ( this is not to say our marriage has been perfect..in fact, there's been lots of times it's been anything but...and if i had to do it all over again, i wouldn't have spent all that money on a big wedding right out of college, but i would rather have used a portion of that money to take a trip and get married down south- would like to go down south right now, as winter is here:laugh:)
OpenBook Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 For some reason, our current westernized society struggles with ideas of commitment . . . particularly long term commitment. It's odd when you look back to our grand parents generation and the idea of commitment was seldom ever considered or discussed. There were so few divorces from that era of people who were part of the WWII generation. Just an entirely different attitude than what we see today. Yeah, because they didn't live nearly as long back then! There's almost a 30-year difference in life expectancy between 1900 (48-50 yrs) and now (75-80 yrs). It didn't really start getting longer until after 1960 (when it was around 53 yrs). Add 30 years to somebody's life, and things start getting re-evaluated. But regarding the article, I do agree that an Attitude of Gratitude goes a long way in a marriage... and everywhere else, come to think of it.
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