ScienceGal Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 #1: you will survive without your ex. #2: there are no timelines or rules. #3 Do not text, email or call. You will just feel foolish afterwards. He knows you miss him. Be strong. I still miss the last guy I was dating. We've been separated for 3 weeks. NC for 2. It ended well and we really liked each other. He said I can call him, I told him I will not. I left the door open by telling him how much I care, and then I walked away. So, NC is for ME. He will either come around, or I will move on. Each day is a day where I take that step forward and I do what is best for me because I deserve to be happy. You should do the same.
chados Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 And in most of your scenarios he is single, which is ultimately something he's not. I miss him. I wish I could tell him. Went out with another guy last night. He was ok, less boring than the last guy I went out with but I just miss our connection. Sometimes it seems so harmless to just send one text and see if anything would happen. It can't be worse than it is right now. I wonder if he'll really never talk to me again. dont call him if he's not single of course. you will never get a real connection on the first date if youre still miserable, just give it some time. didnt it feel good when you where on the date? you have history with your ex. impossible to create a new one in a couple of days. you should embrace this. youre actually trying to move on, most people will struggle for months. wish you the best lilly:)
M2155 Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 Sometimes it seems so harmless to just send one text and see if anything would happen. It can't be worse than it is right now. I wonder if he'll really never talk to me again. You keep looking for some rationale to contact him. What's worse than it is right now is if nothing happens in response...that will be harder to shake off than you think. Don't reach out to someone who didn't even have the balls to end the relationship respectfully. I know its hard but he trust that he knows he was in the wrong. You owe him nothing. Keep trying to press forward.
Author lilyblue Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 #1: you will survive without your ex. #2: there are no timelines or rules. #3 Do not text, email or call. You will just feel foolish afterwards. He knows you miss him. Be strong. I still miss the last guy I was dating. We've been separated for 3 weeks. NC for 2. It ended well and we really liked each other. He said I can call him, I told him I will not. I left the door open by telling him how much I care, and then I walked away. So, NC is for ME. He will either come around, or I will move on. Each day is a day where I take that step forward and I do what is best for me because I deserve to be happy. You should do the same. Yeah I think it's easier when it ends well and you feel like you have some control over the situation - he left it up to you, and it sounds like you are doing great, but the difference is that you were presented with a situation where you felt like you had a choice in the matter. The choice of going NC was made for me and it did not end well.
Author lilyblue Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 dont call him if he's not single of course. you will never get a real connection on the first date if youre still miserable, just give it some time. didnt it feel good when you where on the date? you have history with your ex. impossible to create a new one in a couple of days. you should embrace this. youre actually trying to move on, most people will struggle for months. wish you the best lilly:) Thanks again. Real connections are so few and far between anyway. The date was ok. He wanted to go out to dinner after and (nicely) turned him down. I pretty much always connected with the ex, even on a friendship level. Finding someone again just seems like needle in a haystack.
Author lilyblue Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 You keep looking for some rationale to contact him. What's worse than it is right now is if nothing happens in response...that will be harder to shake off than you think. Don't reach out to someone who didn't even have the balls to end the relationship respectfully. I know its hard but he trust that he knows he was in the wrong. You owe him nothing. Keep trying to press forward. You're right, I do keep looking for a reason, because I miss him. I think below the surface it feels like there should be some pay off for not contacting him, because the satisfaction of just not talking to him is starting to wane. I do hope he knows he was wrong. I can't believe he doesn't. I just wish that in his decision he hadn't handed someone else (me) baggage to carry around. How selfish. And I know it's up to me letting it affect me, but there's no way that it wouldn't have at all.
chados Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 Thanks again. Real connections are so few and far between anyway. The date was ok. He wanted to go out to dinner after and (nicely) turned him down. I pretty much always connected with the ex, even on a friendship level. Finding someone again just seems like needle in a haystack. first of all when youre started to date your ex, you were probably happy, when your meeting this new guy youre not. "I pretty much always connected with the ex, even on a friendship level." some people dont connect at the first date. and it will be even harder for you to accept that this guy could be great at this point. dont have to high expectations on someone you dont know, i didnt connect that much with my ex in the beginning. i guess what im trying to say is, give them a chance to prove you wrong;)
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