mike588 Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Ok you've been dumped... your heart broken,,you want him/her back and you hope that maybe...maybe if I talk to his/her friends or family about it they will "talk some sense" into them and they will have a change of heart and will come running back into your arms. Wrong!! anyone tried it?? Calling their friends/family telling them about how you have "changed" your sorry,you want them back is a form of breaking N.C.....it will get back to them. Once they have decided to dump you it's usually FINAL...they became emotionally detached from you long before the actual dumping and have given it alot of thought including what will my family/friends think? Oh..you think well I don't want to lose those friends/family...they were my friends too...well you just lost the most important person in your life.......small price to pay. To them it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says...it's all about them and what they want.
BoredAgain Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Well, you shouldn't demonize your ex. I'm sure they do care what their friends and family say (at least to some degree). Mainly, I think that relationships are very personal matters and any good friend or family member has to respect his/her decision to break-up ... even if they disagree with that decision. So, yeah, trying to get you Ex's family and good friends to plead a case on your behalf is pretty ridiculous. I really hope nobody tries such a thing. On a side note, I agree that it sucks to lose your Ex's family, but I don't know that it's such a small price to pay. I know that everybody's situation is different, but I really liked my Ex's family. It's sad to know that I may never talk to them again.
Author mike588 Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 Well, you shouldn't demonize your ex. I'm sure they do care what their friends and family say (at least to some degree). Mainly, I think that relationships are very personal matters and any good friend or family member has to respect his/her decision to break-up ... even if they disagree with that decision. So, yeah, trying to get you Ex's family and good friends to plead a case on your behalf is pretty ridiculous. I really hope nobody tries such a thing. On a side note, I agree that it sucks to lose your Ex's family, but I don't know that it's such a small price to pay. I know that everybody's situation is different, but I really liked my Ex's family. It's sad to know that I may never talk to them again. I tried doing that ALONG time ago hoping their friends/family would change their mind but it didn't help but stayed in contact with some of the family members for some time leaving "her" out of the picture or conversation. After you meet someone else that usually fades away.
motive2002 Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 what's the point of this thread I guess to keep others from making the same mistake. I know I made it years ago... called the ex's mother and pleaded my case. Yeah I'm ok with admitting I'm a shmuck. It happens to the best of us sometimes. Y'see when you break it off with someone, chances are you're gonna be at least a little bit vague and insincere with why you actually dumped someone and left them heartbroken. In other words, I don't think the "friends and family" got the full, unabridged version.. however regardless of what version the did get, they will still likely defend their loved one and the decision they made. it's a hard pill to swallow, knowing that the ex probably embellished the story to not seem like such a creep to their friends, but I think we've all done that at some point. Just gotta let it go. Contacting friends/family is gonna make you like a desperate slob at best, and a creepy stalker at worst. Never ever a good idea.
stunned8165 Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 what's the point of this thread Wilson, a lot of things you say make very good sense. They really do. And I mean no disrespect in any way, shape or form. But you are obviously very angry. It's so obvious that other people have said some rude things because they feel you are just being a pompous know it all. . You have to remeber Wilson. A lot of us are here because we are hurt, or confused or ANGRY for how someone has broken our hearts. So lighten up. Be a little more sympathetic then harsh. You have a knack for kicking people when they are down here. ....... Once again, we are here to vent. Talk to others. Share stories and help each other along. In Mikes, case, maybe he is just having a bad day. Maybe he DID reach out to her family. So what! . We all do what we feel we need to do at certain moments. We all have our own way of dealing with things. We need support. Not criticism.
wilsonx Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 Stunned you are mirroring emotions on to what I say .. I asked what the point of this thread is. There was no emotion in it. I have no anger in me
Author mike588 Posted December 17, 2011 Author Posted December 17, 2011 I thought about calling her sister/s SHORTLY after she dumped me (her sisters were pissed at her )to see how her and her ex were doing.... but by making this mistake MANY years ago and knowing it would get back to her it would be almost like breaking N.C. so I decided not to and am glad I didn't. My point here was if your trying to use your ex.s friends/family to "talk some sense" in to your ex.....to try to persuade your ex that they made a mistake and should come back to you is pointless. They've made up their mind long ago to dump you and only they can change their mind regardless of what friends/family say after the b/u.
stunned8165 Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 Stunned you are mirroring emotions on to what I say .. I asked what the point of this thread is. There was no emotion in it. I have no anger in me Ok. My apologies. But I do feel (as a LS friend?) you can get a little harsh. We all know in the back of our minds the reality. But you know as well as any of us, emotions can make us say or do things we shouldn't. Everyones healing process is different.
wilsonx Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 I can agree with that I'm harsh at times I'm a straight shooter, I tell it how I see it, its not my job to hold people's hands and sing kumbahyah
smokey bear Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 My ex done it, i still remember it to this day, it didnt help at all at the time, it was just an ego boost. My ex's family and friends dont have a clue about the real story, it does annoy me sometimes and i feel like saying "hey, here's the truth" but what good would it do.... none.
Author mike588 Posted December 17, 2011 Author Posted December 17, 2011 I can agree with that I'm harsh at times I'm a straight shooter, I tell it how I see it, its not my job to hold people's hands and sing kumbahyah Hey no fighting on my thread,lol. Wilson.. my point was don't use your ex.s friends/family as leverage to try to win your ex. back. If you were good to your ex. and her friends/family liked you... you may think well I'll have them talk to him/her and maybe they can convince the ex. that they have made a mistake. There are alot of 1st time heart broken people with no b/u experience who do desperate things to try to win/get their ex. back... I'm just as guilty..I tryed that long.long ago and it probably pushed her further away. Just giving some advise from my mistake.
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