loveburden Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 okay so my mum is going out tonight and asked if i could babysit the kids, i said yes and she allowed for my boyfriend to come over and keep me company. my boyfriend said no as he does not feel comfortable in my house. he has not told his family about me, he says that he if he told his dad, he would not be allowed to see me anymore. long story short - we broke up 3 months ago, i was living a few hours away and the relationship brokedown, it was difficult to see eachother due to a domestic issue which resulted in an avo against him. his father from that point blamed me for it and has since not supported us being together. he has not seen my family for nearly a year due to the avo and such - i think this is the reason why he does not feel comfortable with my family. we are in realtionship together and things have been really great. i am just really fed up with the secracy and not being able to be with him on a regular basis. i see him a few hours a day only two days a week and we get a hotel one night on a weekend. he says that i am expecting too much.. when i do see him, i dress up. he can't even tell me that i look nice. i get compliments from others and all he can say is " why do you wear clothes like that, do you want other guys to look at you" or " don't wear makeup, it does not look good on you". when i buy new clothes he says things like " i sware you like wearing slutty things". ( apprently singlets, shorts,skirts and dresses are slutty) he says that he does not want to tell his family just in case it does not work out. it hurts when we do not go to certain places which he knows his family or friends with will be. i want to do things like go out to dinner, go to the beach or do something different. all he is happy doing is watching movies or getting hotels. he can't even spend a day with me, he always makes exuses that he is sick or tired. im over being his part - time girlfriend. i want to be the girl he is afraid to loose, i want to be wined and dined, i want to be able to express my relatinships and i want my family to be involved in it also.when i ask why we don't see each other often he says that he needs is freedom. but only seeing him for two hours during the day twice a week and one night on a weekend is ridiculous. everytime i bring this up with him he says that i am being demanding, insecure and needy and that no guy will ever put up with me and that i am lucky that he has for so long.. do you think i am being needy? do you think i should give him a break? btw - we were going out for two and half years before we broke up. we have now been going back out for a month.
Cypress25 Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 How old are you? I imagine you must be pretty young if his father can tell him who he is and is not allowed to date.
Author loveburden Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 he is 20 and i am 19 - he is living with his dad that is why is dad has influence.
confused kitty Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Was he always so controling?? Theres afew red flags here, 1) Who cares what his Dad thinks, if you really mean somerhing to him and he genuinely wanted to be with you, he would be and not afraid to show it either! 2) Since when does any guy get to tell a girl what she should or should not wear, even if he was a propper/ decent guy who treated you well he has no right to do this! 3) Why is he afraid to be seen with you??? Is he ashamed of you? Got another girl too perhaps? My advice sweetie, is to get out of this so called "relationship" and find yourself a decent guy who can offer you the relationship you want and who will be more than proud to show you off instead of hiding you away! You deserve all the things you listed above, nobody deserves to be treated or made feel like this by anybody! Good luck, and all the best :-)
norajane Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 it was difficult to see eachother due to a domestic issue which resulted in an avo against him. his father from that point blamed me for it and has since not supported us being together. What does this mean? What "domestic issue" and what is an "avo"?
norajane Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Ah, good thing there's the internet: Australian Apprehended Violence Order - A court may grant an apprehended violence order (AVO) to a person who fears violence, harassment, abuse, or stalking.[6] A court may issue an AVO if it believes, on the balance of probabilities, that a person has reasonable grounds to fear personal violence, harassing conduct, molestation, intimidation, or stalking. A defendant's non-compliance with the order may result in the imposition of a fine, imprisonment, or bothThis restraining order is why he doesn't want to be seen with you in public. And I can understand why he wouldn't want his father to know he's seeing you. And why he doesn't want to be around your family. He can go to jail if he violates the AVO, which he is doing by seeing you, right? I'm surprised you two are together at all, under the circumstances.
Author loveburden Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 there avo is not active - we are free to see eachother by law. we aren't breaking any rules or laws =D
Recommended Posts