SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 So its the second day of NC and it's starting to get to me. I was fine through out the entire day up until now. So I came to write on LS so I wouldn't make any mistakes or cave into breaking NC. I know she is not at work anymore and at one point should be home. I have no indication of that and I really wish I knew if she was home. I can usually tell by her signing onto facebook for 5 minutes or her signing onto AIM. I hate it now becuase I'm having the thoughts of her being with someone else or spending time with some other guy when that should be MY time with her. Last night she signed on AIM at 2300 so I'm hoping that she will sign on again at that same time. She only talks to me on AIM and no other person...atleast thats how it used to be. I just want to see her sign on so I know she has atleast some thought of me in her head. The anger is there, body is shaking again, mind is distracted and focused on her. I sent her family a christmas card today. It was adressed to the whole family so I don't think there was anything wrong with that. I hand wrote this in the card "I wish you all a merry christmas and the best of wishes in the happy new year. Tis the season to be Jolly. Sincelerly Danny" I even drew in my signature smiley face. I want to break NC so badly but I figure she'll same something when her family gets the card... And I just remembered that today is the 1 year day where I bought her the ring she would always wear...Now she doesn't even wear it... Its slowly eating me up inside right now...
chados Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 So its the second day of NC and it's starting to get to me. I was fine through out the entire day up until now. So I came to write on LS so I wouldn't make any mistakes or cave into breaking NC. I know she is not at work anymore and at one point should be home. I have no indication of that and I really wish I knew if she was home. I can usually tell by her signing onto facebook for 5 minutes or her signing onto AIM. I hate it now becuase I'm having the thoughts of her being with someone else or spending time with some other guy when that should be MY time with her. Last night she signed on AIM at 2300 so I'm hoping that she will sign on again at that same time. She only talks to me on AIM and no other person...atleast thats how it used to be. I just want to see her sign on so I know she has atleast some thought of me in her head. The anger is there, body is shaking again, mind is distracted and focused on her. I sent her family a christmas card today. It was adressed to the whole family so I don't think there was anything wrong with that. I hand wrote this in the card "I wish you all a merry christmas and the best of wishes in the happy new year. Tis the season to be Jolly. Sincelerly Danny" I even drew in my signature smiley face. I want to break NC so badly but I figure she'll same something when her family gets the card... And I just remembered that today is the 1 year day where I bought her the ring she would always wear...Now she doesn't even wear it... Its slowly eating me up inside right now... i would really like to send her family a christmascard, but then again that would probably make her contact me. i dont want that. just keep up with what youre doing, yes its hard. but trust me, if you contact her it will come back and bite you a month from now. sometimes you can actually move on faster then you think.
BoredAgain Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Dude, you need to block her on AIM & Facebook. Seeing her sign in and out will only keep reminding you of her which, in turn, will only make you feel more miserable. The Christmas card to her family seems sort of like indirect communication. Sending them that card is only making you hope to get a response from her. Go and hang out with friends. Or rent a comedy movie. Or just do something FUN.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 Dude, you need to block her on AIM & Facebook. Seeing her sign in and out will only keep reminding you of her which, in turn, will only make you feel more miserable. The Christmas card to her family seems sort of like indirect communication. Sending them that card is only making you hope to get a response from her. Go and hang out with friends. Or rent a comedy movie. Or just do something FUN. I sent the card becuase her family is nice. They would always get me a little christmas gift. I'm just saying that she will probably say something becuase I sent the card. I didn't sent it so she can say something. I'm affraid I can't block her facebook or aim. I tried but it doesn't work. I feel as if by doing so I burn the bridge for reconciliation and her fb is private so if I delete it I won't be able to view her. And as of now she still has OUR pictures on facebook and does not have a status for relationship wise. If anything seeing her on AIM or facebook calms me down, it doesnt hype me up or bring me down. Its when I don't see her on thats when I get like this....
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 Dude, you need to block her on AIM & Facebook. Seeing her sign in and out will only keep reminding you of her which, in turn, will only make you feel more miserable. The Christmas card to her family seems sort of like indirect communication. Sending them that card is only making you hope to get a response from her. Go and hang out with friends. Or rent a comedy movie. Or just do something FUN. I would, but right now I have finals coming up really soon and I need to focus on that but its hard becuase I end up focusing on her. I do work out and stuff but I already did that to get my mind off her...and well...that didn't last to long lol...
chados Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 I would, but right now I have finals coming up really soon and I need to focus on that but its hard becuase I end up focusing on her. I do work out and stuff but I already did that to get my mind off her...and well...that didn't last to long lol... im not sure if your burning your bridges by doing that.. har to say whats best for you if you want her back. al though i think it would be vice for you to do it for yourself.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 i would really like to send her family a christmascard, but then again that would probably make her contact me. i dont want that. just keep up with what youre doing, yes its hard. but trust me, if you contact her it will come back and bite you a month from now. sometimes you can actually move on faster then you think. Yea, the card was adressed to the entire family, not just her and I didn't put any names on it, just To: The xxx family no harm in doing so. I didnt send it to get a thank you from her, I sent it becuase her family is really nice. However... I believe that by doing so it'll show her family that I am a nice guy and maybe her family will say "oh thats so sweet of him" and then BAM she comes crying back to me..(Yea fu*king right that will happen)...I can dream lol
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 im not sure if your burning your bridges by doing that.. har to say whats best for you if you want her back. al though i think it would be vice for you to do it for yourself. Yea, I understand. But I have a strong feeling it will burn the bridge becuase she will know right away if I deleted her or block her. Our stuff is on private to the max so once shes delted she cant see me and vice versa.
chados Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Yea, I understand. But I have a strong feeling it will burn the bridge becuase she will know right away if I deleted her or block her. Our stuff is on private to the max so once shes delted she cant see me and vice versa. i dont know, maybe its best to not block her in your case, since i feel that she's already hurt.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 i dont know, maybe its best to not block her in your case, since i feel that she's already hurt. Exactly, becuase I know she looks at my page and she has a fb mostly for me. I'm really the only one that comments on her page and she doesn't use it like I do. If I post anything, I block her and her friends from seeing it. So it's really not that bad. We're not posting any pictures of us with other people or anything, not at all. We'll just post updated pictures of ourselves but thast rare and damn when she does post a new pic of her...my heart drops to the floor big time...but even if I block her it wouldn't stop that so yea, there is no point to blocking her and it would make things worse if I did
chados Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Exactly, becuase I know she looks at my page and she has a fb mostly for me. I'm really the only one that comments on her page and she doesn't use it like I do. If I post anything, I block her and her friends from seeing it. So it's really not that bad. We're not posting any pictures of us with other people or anything, not at all. We'll just post updated pictures of ourselves but thast rare and damn when she does post a new pic of her...my heart drops to the floor big time...but even if I block her it wouldn't stop that so yea, there is no point to blocking her and it would make things worse if I did just block her updates. if she puts up a picture theres a thing you can press to ignore updates.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 just block her updates. if she puts up a picture theres a thing you can press to ignore updates. Good thing is she doesnt have any updates or takes the time to do anything. And I already done that and that helped quiet a bit without having to block her.
chados Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Good thing is she doesnt have any updates or takes the time to do anything. And I already done that and that helped quiet a bit without having to block her. yeah, and do the same with her friends/brothers etc. because im not sure if you can see what they write to her.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 Looks like I'm going to call it a night and complete Day 2 of NC. She never signed on AIM or facebook. Not to sure how I feel about that. I guess I'm split between disappointed and relieved. Part of wishes she did sign on and part of me is glad she didn't. Part of me wishes she would say something to me and part of me is glad she didn't. I still wish I knew what was going on on her end... Tomorrow is another day... Hopefully it will be easier tomorrow.... C'est la vie...
SimonMas Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Sky, I have been following your posts in the different threads. Right now, you should put all your thoughts on your gf away and focus on your finals. Thinking about it will not get you anywhere. What you need is ACTION!!! Do that only when you have completed the finals. The relationship is not a matter of great urgency, it can wait until you finish your finals which I believe should be very soon. What you are going through is pretty normal. Most of us have gone through it....perhaps I can offer you some advice BUT do this only when you are done with your finals. It looks like both your GF and you are still unsure of your feelings for each other...UNTIL that has been resolved, then only can both of you move FORWARD. What I am going to say here is going against what the good people have been advising you...yes, by that I mean sent her a short message telling her that you need to focus on your finals and will talk to her when you are done with your finals. You cannot have contact with her at this moment. When you are done with the finals, sit down and talk with her face to face. Say whatever you need to say and see her response. This is no time to be playing games and testing each others' feelings. If this is the girl who is going to be your wife or fiancee one day, would you rather have an honest relationship with her or one which has been carefully planned and crafted? If she indeed any has feelings for you, she will respond positively otherwise take it as a "no" (it can either be expressed or implied by her), get some closure and move on. At least, you will have some comfort to know that you have done all you possibly can and it wasn't meant to be as this lady will not be compatible with you in a long term relationship. How can it be when she is unsure of her love for you? NC is good because it's purpose is to heal yourself and not as a mean to get your girlfriend back. Many people are under the impression that NC will get their loved ones back, that is not necessary so. I think you want answers, then ACT on it and get those answers. Once you get it, either work on the relationship or disassociate yourself from her....meaning get rid of all the routines you used to have with her. You want to CREATE a NEW you - a more confident you. Merry Christmas and all the best. Simon
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 (edited) Sky, I have been following your posts in the different threads. Right now, you should put all your thoughts on your gf away and focus on your finals. Thinking about it will not get you anywhere. What you need is ACTION!!! Do that only when you have completed the finals. The relationship is not a matter of great urgency, it can wait until you finish your finals which I believe should be very soon. What you are going through is pretty normal. Most of us have gone through it....perhaps I can offer you some advice BUT do this only when you are done with your finals. It looks like both your GF and you are still unsure of your feelings for each other...UNTIL that has been resolved, then only can both of you move FORWARD. What I am going to say here is going against what the good people have been advising you...yes, by that I mean sent her a short message telling her that you need to focus on your finals and will talk to her when you are done with your finals. You cannot have contact with her at this moment. When you are done with the finals, sit down and talk with her face to face. Say whatever you need to say and see her response. This is no time to be playing games and testing each others' feelings. If this is the girl who is going to be your wife or fiancee one day, would you rather have an honest relationship with her or one which has been carefully planned and crafted? If she indeed any has feelings for you, she will respond positively otherwise take it as a "no" (it can either be expressed or implied by her), get some closure and move on. At least, you will have some comfort to know that you have done all you possibly can and it wasn't meant to be as this lady will not be compatible with you in a long term relationship. How can it be when she is unsure of her love for you? NC is good because it's purpose is to heal yourself and not as a mean to get your girlfriend back. Many people are under the impression that NC will get their loved ones back, that is not necessary so. I think you want answers, then ACT on it and get those answers. Once you get it, either work on the relationship or disassociate yourself from her....meaning get rid of all the routines you used to have with her. You want to CREATE a NEW you - a more confident you. Merry Christmas and all the best. Simon Simon. Thank you for the post and I think you are right about breaking nc. But I'm affraid to break nc cuz this is the longest I made it. I kinda wish she would contact me and then maybe I'd tell her. I think that that is a good idea, if she wants to talk she will have something to look forward to. If not then she'll say so. I would hate havin to break nc but I don't think it would set me back atleast not for now. And yes finals are more important and I think his will help hold her off my mind knowing that we will talk when I'm done. Edited December 16, 2011 by SkyEmtRN
chados Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Simon. Thank you for the post and I think you are right about breaking nc. But I'm affraid to break nc cuz this is the longest I made it. I kinda wish she would contact me and then maybe I'd tell her. I think that that is a good idea, if she wants to talk she will have something to look forward to. If not then she'll say so. I would hate havin to break nc but I don't think it would set me back atleast not for now. And yes finals are more important and I think his will help hold her off my mind knowing that we will talk when I'm done. dont believe she will come back this week. it could take months. so really try to move on. dont look back. you cant change her mind. sure you could make her miss you. but that doesnt mean she will come back. you need to focus on yourself and not do like i did and so many others. you have to understand that this will probably take some time. and if she comes back thats for the best, because you want to leave the past behind you, and you want to be a stronger person that knows why the relationship ended to fix it.
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