dasein Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 When women put stipulations on the level of imtimacy they are willing to go sexually with their partner, men are usually unhappy with that. Men want their partner to be vulnerable and open with them sexually. And they see certain sexual practices as an extention and reflection of that. The sexual practice equivalent to modern marriage would be "If you won't let me pee in your mouth every night before sex for the duration of our relationship, you don't really love me." Otherwise, though you keep pushing for this bad marriage/sex analogy, the analogy simply doesn't work. Keep trying though, it's fun to come up with sex practice expectations that equate to an expectation of marriage for a man.
dasein Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 When that happens to any significant degree, expect family law to undergo a huge and sudden change. Suddenly the standard men have been held to for so long will be seen as "unjust" and will have to be fixed, posthaste. Yep, politicians have gotten too accustomed to the gullible, easily manipulable female vote to ever let something like that happen.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 The sexual practice equivalent to modern marriage would be "If you won't let me pee in your mouth every night before sex for the duration of our relationship, you don't really love me." Otherwise, though you keep pushing for this bad marriage/sex analogy, the analogy simply doesn't work. Keep trying though, it's fun to come up with sex practice expectations that equate to an expectation of marriage for a man. Is that what your into Dasein? Peeing in someone's mouth? Or do you like it when someone pees in yours? Maybe all that uric acid is going to your head. I'd lay off of that for a while Buddy.
manup Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 To the OP then why are people to this day, still getting married? No ones holding a gun to men's heads! I disagree with you. Women are now expected to have a Career aswell. When they have kids do you think they want to give this up? I know i wouldnt! To be a fulltime housewife, with no intellectual stimulation? Most people these days have BOTH parents that work. Its difficult to survive on only one wage these days. Several of my co workers had kids this year. Only ONE didn't return! So much for them living a life of leisure! I've still yet to meet a man that does at least half of the household chores. I'd Like to see that! The only time they do is when they're single and living alone. It depends on what you prioritize. Two jobs is hardly needed today, and you're kidding yourself if you don't think staying at home with your kids is better for them in the long run. It's completely reasonable to quit work and re-enter when the kids start school.
FitChick Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 When it comes to money and relationships, people need to use common sense. A friend of mine makes $100K and lives with her wannabe filmmaker boyfriend who barely supports himself and who also borrows money to make horrible little films which he hopes will shoot him to stardom. He is in his early forties so that is unlikely to happen. She is thirty and wants to get married and have kids. She said she will soon be breaking off the relationship because she realizes she is wasting her time. She worries if they married, he'd plunge them both into debt because he'd have access to her money. In my opinion, this guy is a Peter Pan living in a fantasy world.
SingleinSouth Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 When it comes to money and relationships, people need to use common sense. A friend of mine makes $100K and lives with her wannabe filmmaker boyfriend who barely supports himself and who also borrows money to make horrible little films which he hopes will shoot him to stardom. He is in his early forties so that is unlikely to happen. She is thirty and wants to get married and have kids. She said she will soon be breaking off the relationship because she realizes she is wasting her time. She worries if they married, he'd plunge them both into debt because he'd have access to her money. In my opinion, this guy is a Peter Pan living in a fantasy world. Ugh, that's pretty much what happened to me. I married my ex-h even though he was making $10/hr and I had a college degree. I thought he had alot of potential. He spent money, I made it. I paid for classes and seminars and "teaching to pass the test" classes so he could get his electrician's license. He took the classes and bought the code books in two separate years and never took the test. He spent money I had before we were married and got us into debt with all his toys (boat, new truck, tractor and attachments, a boat, a golf cart, endless power tools and hunting hobby) and it all would have been financially ok if I hadn't lost my job. It was only a year after losing my job that he was ready for divorce. Shoot- I was working two jobs and going to night school...I was rebuilding but the gravy train was over, apparently. He was engaged before our divorce was final. I still believe in marriage and I don't hate men. Now I don't have a huge amount of faith in my ability to choose a man but I don't believe they are all bad and I think marriage can be great. Of course I have nothing more to lose though.
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Back to the OP - I would like to suggest that you pay attention to the character of your boyfriend and the health of your relationship with him before you allow yourself to say one more word to him about the potential of marrying, or indulging in thoughts about it yourself. Your relationship is very new, and you have started at least 2 threads about some seriously concerning issues with him. It sounds like you are real eager to get married, and you might be about to "overlook" wildly waving red flags in order to achieve that. Please don't.
joystickd Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Is that what your into Dasein? Peeing in someone's mouth? Or do you like it when someone pees in yours? Maybe all that uric acid is going to your head. I'd lay off of that for a while Buddy. tsk tsk. if he would have said that to you a big thing would have been made about you being insulted.
Elysian Powder Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Is that what your into Dasein? Peeing in someone's mouth? Or do you like it when someone pees in yours? Maybe all that uric acid is going to your head. I'd lay off of that for a while Buddy. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=310542 why men don't marry.
SingleinSouth Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Back to the OP - I would like to suggest that you pay attention to the character of your boyfriend and the health of your relationship with him before you allow yourself to say one more word to him about the potential of marrying, or indulging in thoughts about it yourself. Your relationship is very new, and you have started at least 2 threads about some seriously concerning issues with him. It sounds like you are real eager to get married, and you might be about to "overlook" wildly waving red flags in order to achieve that. Please don't. Yeah this.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 tsk tsk. if he would have said that to you a big thing would have been made about you being insulted. He did say it to me. He responded to disagree to something I said. He qouted me and carried on in his disagreement refering to "peeing" in a purposely inflamatory way when he could have simply stated why he disagreed instead of making up over the top anologies. I just went along with his anology with a little more sass then he probably expected. You give out some sass, you get sass back. But pray continue to act like you know anything about my posting style. I get insulted all the time and ignore a good chunk of it. But I am pretty sassy and will respond to sass with sass in kind.
KathyM Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 I had a talk with my bf about marriage. I would like to be married in the future, but he said its just a piece of paper to him. We have both been married before. He said that he doesnt need the government to tell him how committed he is to me. And that getting married kills the spark. He wants to keep it fresh. I think marriage is what you make it. It can be a wonderful thing. Has anyone gone through this before? I just think if we arent married then its always a easy breakup ect....He said theres no easy way out. So I am just confused on if he really wants "us" forever like he says. I could ask him but I already stressed him out by talking about it:) Thanks!!! If you really want marriage and he doesn't, you're probably not a match and you should cut your losses now and move on. When a guy has an aversion to marriage, and says outright that he rejects that and he has a negative view of it, then you'd be wasting your time in trying to convince him otherwise. I agree with you that people are a lot less likely to break up if they have been legally married than if they are not, and I can certainly see why you would want that level of greater commitment. I think you would be wise to give this a lot of thought yourself on what you want out of life, and act accordingly. Don't make the same mistake as a lot of women do, by spending years of their life with a guy who they hope will someday marry them, only to find out years later that he won't go through with it. He has stated he doesn't believe in marriage. You need to respect that and decide if that's something you want to live with. Just don't make the mistake of thinking that he's going to change his mind later on.
dasein Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 He did say it to me. He responded to disagree to something I said. He qouted me and carried on in his disagreement refering to "peeing" in a purposely inflamatory way when he could have simply stated why he disagreed instead of making up over the top anologies. I just went along with his anology with a little more sass then he probably expected. You give out some sass, you get sass back. But pray continue to act like you know anything about my posting style. I get insulted all the time and ignore a good chunk of it. But I am pretty sassy and will respond to sass with sass in kind. What a bald-faced liar you are. You didn't "go along" with anything, merely used an apt analogy I offered as an opportunity to make a puerile and illogical non sequitur insult. You introduced the bad analogy of a man hesitating to marry a woman who wanted marriage to a woman hesitating to have sex in certain ways a man may want. I countered by suggesting that the only kind of sex act comparable to the very serious and risky lifetime commitment of marriage today would be a highly controversial one and used one specific example of many possible. You then attributed that sex act to my personal preferences, a total non sequitur, which stands on its own in its stupidity, and makes you look like an idiot, so I didn't bother replying...no need to. Now, instead of having the good taste and common sense to let your obnoxious post drop, you want to stir the pot some more. Yeah, that's real "sassy." LOL.
TheBigQuestion Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 Have fun trying to get a woman to understand why a man would be hesitant to marry, especially if he has been married already and gone through the ugliness of divorce. When an institution is so clearly biased in your favor in almost every way imaginable, it's hard to to see it from any other perspective. Not wanting to get married has nothing to do with immaturity. It's called having common sense. Marriage is bullsh** without an ironclad prenup. Regardless of what your income is vs. hers. And even with a prenup, it might be more trouble than it's worth.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 What a bald-faced liar you are. You didn't "go along" with anything, merely used an apt analogy I offered as an opportunity to make a puerile and illogical non sequitur insult. You're analogy was purposely misleading on the basis of what I had previously said. It's amusing to me how often you can dish out any number of insults to me, which you have on a number of occasions that I've ignored, going as far to repeatidly call me stupid (talk about "puerile") but can't handle getting a little of your own medicine tossed back at you. You threw in an purposely mocking and illogical analogy and I served it back to you. Now your throwing a hissy fit.
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