PoppyLove89 Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 My bf and I broke up mid argument, heat of the moment thing, insisted he wasn't sure he made the right decisions by breaking-up for the week that followed, texting and calling etc until he met up with his friends (he's on an army base during the week and comes home on w/ends)...his friends pushed him to end all contact since they wanted him to be single like them & go out partying every weekend (he's not a big drinker and never went out much before our one year relationship either so this novelty will wear off soon). Could the fact that he was pressured into making the decision mean he'll regret it and contact me in the future? He always acted normal with me until his friends were around, then he'd change. Bumped into him Saturday for the first time post B/U and we were talking fine, then his friend came over and they just walked away. He spent the rest of the night looking over/looking away when I caught his eye. He's whipped.
fucpcg Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 I guarantee you that my exes gf's helped her break up with me for same exact reason, she was their party buddy till she started dating me, and they wanted her back. They all hated me from the beginning, and guess what they won, and got her back. Problem is I can't blame them, only her. If-when my friends egged me on to go out when we were dating, I told them don't bother me I'm not interested. No way my friends could pull me away from her. Your ex and my ex should have been stronger.
Author PoppyLove89 Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 Yeah I guess you're right. Their "friends" saw a crack in the relationship and chipped away at it until the whole thing fell apart beyond repair. If one of my friends were to come to me, claiming he/she had just broken up but wasn't sure they'd made the right decision, I'd have told them to at least talk it out in person. Might well be the case they both decided to part way after all but at least they tried. His friends are all rather spiteful anyway, one dumped his gf in on NYE and after she contacted him in April, declaring her still lingering love, he said this to my ex about it when my ex suggested he meet up and talk with her "I dunno if I want her back but I might just go for the sex anyway?" - and he did, then bailed on her right after, that's the how his friends are so this doesn't surprise me, I always told my ex that they'd end up causing more trouble than good. My ex wasn't anything like his friends...or so I thought.
fucpcg Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 My ex is a better person than her friends I believe, meaning I think she is a good soul who's lost, and can't find the strength to break away from her comfort zone, which her gf's have provided for years since her divorce. Some of her friends are downright trash, period, and with no excuse for their behavior, in fact they love their lives. Really sounds like our exes have much in common. The fact my ex was ever attracted to me shows she's different, cause I don't drink and party, and I refused to date her when that was her life. She quit the drinking and friends to get with me. After we had an argument, a bad one but not one that shouldn't have ended it all, her gf's took her out drinking for a night and BOOM our relationship exploded. She's back with them full time, I'm ignored or treated like trash, but my ex knows better, why else did she date me for a year?? Maybe our two will grow up and grow out of their bad crowds, but no way to tell.
Author PoppyLove89 Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 No way, my ex ended it after a night with his friends too. See for the past year, I always, always came first. Mainly because given his job, he only had limited time to spread around back home with his friends and family so we made sure he got to see everyone but I was always a priority (hence his friends' distaste toward our relationship since they got put second). Now it's like he's bad-mouthed me to his friends so much while he was angry that he'd be too embarrassed to admit to them he misses me/wants me back/made a mistake because he's worried about what they'll think of him. Pathetic if you ask me since real friends would support each other. He has always supported them when they've been unsure about second chances. Maybe I'm just trying to think up excuses for his behaviour when in actual fact he's just over it but none of it makes sense to me. Only 4 days before we split he was talking about how excited he was to move in with me...I should probably also mention that his friends are 3 years younger than he is/have no real careers/rather immature so my guess is seeing them made him change his mind. His sister suggested that seeing his friends so carefree made him realise that his career as well as his relationship had become all too serious and grown-up. Maybe he just wants to be like them.
BoredAgain Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 I see a lot of people try to blame their Ex's friends for a break-up, and even I admit to thinking such things when I was in my 'anger' phase. But if you think about it, it doesn't make a ton of sense. You're essentially saying that he's so weak-willed that his friends can pressure him into ending a relationship. In this case, there's no good reason to date him anyway. You might as well be dating a sock-puppet. More than likely, breaking up was something he wanted to do, and his friends just supported and encouraged this decision. Trust me, if you have friends constantly badgering you to break-up with a girlfriend, then you are much more likely to stop hanging around those friends... unless, of course, you already agree with them.
fucpcg Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 My exes 3 boys called me stepdad, we talked about having one kid of our own, we talked getting engaged, had one of our best weekends together ever (they were all great, this just such a nice one), then like I said fight, we talk it out, I'm gone for week with work, I come back she's different mood (prolly talked with gf's while gone), next week she walks out on me for littlest thing, that weekend out drinking with gf's (my friends saw it and gave me report), next weekend I get email telling me I am like worst man on face of the planet. Wow, I was floored. Wtf happened to marriage and kids? Maybe you could debate all the reasons she gave for leaving me, maybe, but one was a joke. She said I never took an interest in her 3 boys. In one year I took her boys to do more things than she or their father ever did, on my expense, and many times just me and the boys and not her. I never missed spending a single weekend with them that entie year. Wtf again. I saw her out two weeks ago. She was on double date with her gf, her gf's bf, and obviously his buddy, a total geek lookin loser 15 some odd years younger than her. She looked lost, and this look kida like how ridiculous am I right now. She has every reason to contact me right now, as I can see the new slash old lifestyle isn't going as well as predicted. Yet she still wont talk to me. How can she after telling EVERYONE last summer what an abusive ********* I was to her? She could, but it would force her to grow up some. Can it happen? Yes, and I hope so. Will it? .........
mike588 Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 My ex.s family and friends though she was crazy and not very happy with her when she dumped me... for her it didn't matter..it was all about what she wanted.
wilsonx Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 I see a lot of people try to blame their Ex's friends for a break-up, and even I admit to thinking such things when I was in my 'anger' phase. But if you think about it, it doesn't make a ton of sense. You're essentially saying that he's so weak-willed that his friends can pressure him into ending a relationship. In this case, there's no good reason to date him anyway. You might as well be dating a sock-puppet. More than likely, breaking up was something he wanted to do, and his friends just supported and encouraged this decision. Trust me, if you have friends constantly badgering you to break-up with a girlfriend, then you are much more likely to stop hanging around those friends... unless, of course, you already agree with them. ^^^^^ This man speaks the truth
Author PoppyLove89 Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 What I was saying was this: He was already swaying back and forth with his decision, he told me this himself. His sister mentioned how angry he was and avoided talking about me, this is his way of dealing with things. My ex is a straight talker, so if his mind had been made up there and then he wouldn't have been um-ing and ah-ing about it for two weeks. His last ex he broke up with he cut off the day they broke up, he wouldn't stick around to talk to her. I know that his friends will just have given him the encouragement he needed to call it off - told him what he needed to hear to make his mind up since he wasn't sure what to do. Either way, I was just wondering. Don't worry, I'm not holding out for a reconciliation, I've been NC and moving on/keeping busy for the past month. I was doing fine until I saw him for the first time since the split - this town is too damn small!
fucpcg Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 See there's our lessons to learn. Your ex cut it off 100% with his previous ex, that should have been your red flag, that he treated her like that. My red flag was my ex was worst gf I ever had in my life for first two months, then I broke up with her. She only changed after that, and after begging me nonstop for a week to take her back, and I caved cause she pulled my heart strings. Since breaking up with me, she has been the pinnacle of nasty, quite the opposite of me talking things out with her and taking her back. Shame on us, yeah?
Author PoppyLove89 Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 Yeah I guess it was my red flag. I used to say to him, I guarantee you do the same to me if we break up and he'd "no because I wasn't in love with her anymore. She did my head in." - fair enough, he didn't go NC until I did after two weeks because he 'wasn't sure' but he's still an idiot. I'm starting to get it into my head now that I'm better off without. He isn't the most caring boyfriend either, when I was in hospital back in August, I refused to stay over-night in hospital before the operation so he got into a major strop about it. Anyway, he said to me "if you come home with us now, I won't be coming to visit you tomorrow and we're going to fall out over this." I went home anyway and thought, yeah he's annoyed but he'll get over it once the operation's been done. Anyway, the operation came and went, I was wheeled back into the ward and who was there to greet me? Not my bf...HIS MOTHER. She made the effort to come and see me, told me she was disappointed and disgusted with her son for not coming in with her. I text him first after he rang his mum to see how I was doing - what the hell?! And he replied, "Not up to much just walking to my mate's house". Nice to know he was thinking of me, ey? And the next day when I got home, he begrudgingly came to see me and still had a puss on. I'd be devastated if I thought I couldn't wait for my bf while he had an operation under general anaesthetic! You never what could have happened.
Recommended Posts