ShannonMI Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 Look at that sequence of posts. It definitely does seem like you were implying agreement with what Cypress said, hence Dasein's response. I get sick of this attitude myself on the forum and in real life. If women get themselves into these drunk situations, its her fault as much as the guys unless its super obvious that he was taking advantage of a drunk or incapacitated woman. She cant even truly tell us how drunk he was or not. And to cap it off, the guy wanted her to stay and she drove home still drunk-ish? Come on now...I get shes going through some stuff, but dont do something that can potentially hurt/kill yourself or others. And to clue you folks in...Ive had women try and hook up with me when I was plastered and they werent that drunk....almost had sex with them those couple times but stopped it before it progressed past foreplay. Hell Ive even been just tipsy and the girl was pretty dang drunk and she would barely take no for an answer. But I think she knew what she was doing because this particular gal loved to hook up with me after she had a drink or few and then always blame it on the alcohol. As if she was too scared to just come on to me sober. Sure these situations are dwarfed in frequency by the amount of times that guys pull that crap on women...but im just saying it happens...and women usually expect me to go along with it because Im a guy...Apparently we are never supposed to turn down sex...and god forbid we do....women always get WAY insecure afterwords...jeez Oh cry a river. Yeah there are sleazy men AND women out there. Yeah we got it. Women do the same thing. Uh huh. In these two instances it was the men that acted like dirt balls. What are you gonna do? We are taking full responsiblity for our parts in what went down. We are also supporting each other in this sh*tty time of self loathing and regret. Deal with it or move on to another thread.
Wolf18 Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 Sigh..... you're such a good guy Wolfie. Why don't the girls see it? Yes, taking advantage of a drunk girl is not good. There are a lot of men who would LOVE to get a girl plastered and take her to pound town. The fact that you wouldn't makes me heart you even more:love:[/Quote] Haha, because that doesn't factor into whether a womans into you or not, for the most part. Chances are the guy you slept with is doing the same with another girl as we speak. The guys don't owe us anything. You are right. But a little respect and/or kindness would be nice. How about when a girl is stumbling and bumbling from too much wine and you are stone cold sober, putting her in your car and driving her home? That is what the guy I was with should have done. He didn't though. I remember him being on his phone at one point in the night when I was soooooo f*cked up, texting his buddy "I have a live one". If I was sober, I would have been so disgusted. Being in my polluted state of mind, I over looked it. I don't even want to see the dude again and with good reason. I know I'm fully responsible for my actions. Getting wasted with a complete stranger is an action I should not have taken, but he was the sober one. The one of sound mind. He should have been more respectful of me. Oh well. What's done is done and I'm not going to beat myself up over it. [/Quote] LOL "I have a live one" , that's pretty messed up I don't suggest going on blind dates or letting people set you up without knowing who they are first. This would probably solve your issues more than going to therapists, quitting drinking , etc.
kaylan Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 Oh cry a river. Yeah there are sleazy men AND women out there. Yeah we got it. Women do the same thing. Uh huh. In these two instances it was the men that acted like dirt balls. What are you gonna do? We are taking full responsiblity for our parts in what went down. We are also supporting each other in this sh*tty time of self loathing and regret. Deal with it or move on to another thread. Actually the only ones crying a river are you gals trying to throw the blame at the guy without full knowledge of the facts Be adults. Simple. If you can sleep with a dude who "has a live one", then sucks for you. It says a lot about someone in my opinion. Drunk or not. Ive been sh!!tfaced hammered and still avoided sex and bad situations...not the hardest thing in the world. Im still a firm believer in drunken actions/words are sober thoughts. Alcohol is just a crutch that gives one a convenient excuse later.
ShannonMI Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 (edited) Haha, because that doesn't factor into whether a womans into you or not, for the most part. Chances are the guy you slept with is doing the same with another girl as we speak. LOL "I have a live one" , that's pretty messed up I don't suggest going on blind dates or letting people set you up without knowing who they are first. This would probably solve your issues more than going to therapists, quitting drinking , etc. What doesn't factor in? That you are a good guy and know how to treat a woman? OK if you say so. I think it is a BIG factor. A man that is respectful and treats a woman well is more desirable then a dick head. At least to an older chick like me. I'm sure some young 20 something girl would like the douchie bad boy, but someone who wants something serious and long term is going to go for a good guy. Or at least she should. Yeah nice guy right? The more I think about it, the more grossed out and disgusted I get. Who says sh*t like that? A sleazy dude looking to f*ck an inebriated girl. I was "live" but I sure wasn't sober. The thing about this guy is that he is friends with my cousin and my cousin is SUPER protective of me. He has to pretty much "approve" of all my guys. He's like the big brother I never had. He told me the dude was a good guy. That he knew how to treat a woman. He even called the guy and told him to treat me well. I haven't talked to my cousin since the date, but I do plan on telling him what went down. We'll see what he says. Never again will I go out on a blind date and get plastered. It one thing to blind date, but it's quite another to down a bottle of chardonnay and expect a stranger to be kind and respectful of you. Edited December 17, 2011 by ShannonMI
ShannonMI Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 (edited) Actually the only ones crying a river are you gals trying to throw the blame at the guy without full knowledge of the facts Be adults. Simple. If you can sleep with a dude who "has a live one", then sucks for you. It says a lot about someone in my opinion. Drunk or not. Ive been sh!!tfaced hammered and still avoided sex and bad situations...not the hardest thing in the world. Im still a firm believer in drunken actions/words are sober thoughts. Alcohol is just a crutch that gives one a convenient excuse later. Yeah I'm a whore. Why don't you just say it? Hahahahahaha I know you're dying to. People handle their alcohol differently. Some make foolish choices and some don't. Consider yourself lucky that you are one that doesn't. Even though I find that hard to believe. I'm not using booze as a "crutch". I'm just stating that what happened was the result of too much alcohol. Do I act that way sober? No I don't. I'm going through some sh*t right now and I come on here looking for kindness and support just like the OP. I could easily be drowning my sorrows in a big fat bottle of Barefoot Chardonnay and f*cking my way happy, but no. I'm on here to talk my sh*t through, trying to make sense of it all and I have clowns like you bashing me. Gotta love it. Why don't you keep it moving dick wad. Edited December 17, 2011 by ShannonMI
Wolf18 Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 What doesn't factor in? That you are a good guy and know how to treat a woman? OK if you say so. I think it is a BIG factor. A man that is respectful and treats a woman well is more desirable then a dick head. At least to an older chick like me. I'm sure some young 20 something girl would like the douchie bad boy, but someone who wants something serious and long term is going to go for a good guy. Or at least she should. Yeah nice guy right? The more I think about it, the more grossed out and disgusted I get. Who says sh*t like that? A sleazy dude looking to f*ck an inebriated girl. I was "live" but I sure wasn't sober. The thing about this guy is that he is friends with my cousin and my cousin is SUPER protective of me. He has to pretty much "approve" of all my guys. He's like the big brother I never had. He told me the dude was a good guy. That he knew how to treat a woman. He even called the guy and told him to treat me well. I haven't talked to my cousin since the date, but I do plan on telling him what went down. We'll see what he says. Never again will I go out on a blind date and get plastered. It one thing to blind date, but it's quite another to down a bottle of chardonnay and expect a stranger to be kind and respectful of you. I don't think its about being a "nice guy" vs "bad boy" or anything related to that. I think gloating/bragging about something like that when you have the girl with you (or at all) is pretty scummy, even if you're going to take advantage of a situation like that. It's bad that this happened to you, there are women who deserve to be treated like that but you seem to be one of the few nice ladies, that's the way the world turns I suppose. To be fair to him though, were you aggressive with him or was he making all the moves? If the latter, then yes that shows little decency. But if you were making all the moves and he capitulated that's another story. Not calling you a whore, **** happens, but while what he did wouldn't necessarily be right, I don't think you would count as a victim either.
Wolf18 Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 IMO the real whores are the ones who "multi-date" for free food and gifts but never put out . Or worse, women who wind you up then leave you cringing in the corner in the fetal position clutching your bright blue balls. Of course having sex with a stranger you've never spoken to and know nothing about on the first day isn't a good idea, but I reserve my contempt for women who think they've got the Holy Grail between their legs.
ShannonMI Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 I don't think its about being a "nice guy" vs "bad boy" or anything related to that. I think gloating/bragging about something like that when you have the girl with you (or at all) is pretty scummy, even if you're going to take advantage of a situation like that. It's bad that this happened to you, there are women who deserve to be treated like that but you seem to be one of the few nice ladies, that's the way the world turns I suppose. To be fair to him though, were you aggressive with him or was he making all the moves? If the latter, then yes that shows little decency. But if you were making all the moves and he capitulated that's another story. Not calling you a whore, **** happens, but while what he did wouldn't necessarily be right, I don't think you would count as a victim either. I wasn't aggressive with him at all. I didn't kiss him, touch him or anything. He really wasn't aggressive either though. He was rather shy. I just told him I wanted to go to bed at the end of the night. So he took me to his brother's house and what happened, happened. He should have just taken me to MY f*cking house. Oh well. I'm not playing the victim at all. I take full responsibility for my part in what went down. I guess both parties are responsible. It's just sh*tty that someone sober takes advantage of someone who is not in the right frame of mind and who can't make sound decisions. It is what it is though. I'm just trying to move on from it and not beat the sh*t out of myself too much.
ShannonMI Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 IMO the real whores are the ones who "multi-date" for free food and gifts but never put out . Or worse, women who wind you up then leave you cringing in the corner in the fetal position clutching your bright blue balls. Of course having sex with a stranger you've never spoken to and know nothing about on the first day isn't a good idea, but I reserve my contempt for women who think they've got the Holy Grail between their legs. Hahahahahahahaha I feel a bit whorish though, Wolfie. It's because I'm a LTR type of chick. Having casual sex is not what I'm about. I'm going through some heartache still over a sh*tty breakup and I think that it's causing me to act out. At least I realize the error of my ways and am willing to correct it. Thank you for being such a sweetheart to me:o
kaylan Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 Yeah I'm a whore. Why don't you just say it? Hahahahahaha I know you're dying to. People handle their alcohol differently. Some make foolish choices and some don't. Consider yourself lucky that you are one that doesn't. Even though I find that hard to believe. I'm not using booze as a "crutch". I'm just stating that what happened was the result of too much alcohol. Do I act that way sober? No I don't. I'm going through some sh*t right now and I come on here looking for kindness and support just like the OP. I could easily be drowning my sorrows in a big fat bottle of Barefoot Chardonnay and f*cking my way happy, but no. I'm on here to talk my sh*t through, trying to make sense of it all and I have clowns like you bashing me. Gotta love it. Why don't you keep it moving dick wad.Who said you were a whore? All I said is that people need to take full responsibility for their actions and alcohol is never an excuse. Ive had one night stands and a few random hook ups but I was always sober. I dont think I am a whore, and if alcohol was involved I still wouldnt think so. I reserve the term whore for folks who have indiscriminate and/or random hookups with great frequency. This does not sound like you from any of your posts I have ever seen. Excuse me for not seeming more understanding. Trust me I know the OP, and many of us , are going through or have gone through tough ordeals. Im just very honest and blunt. My bad. How about you be an adult and take a realist's viewpoint and response without getting so sensitive about it. Im giving you real talk minus the insults, and all you can do is become emotional and call me names? Ok. The internet is not the place to seek out sugar coatings, and if you knew me in real life Id be the same way. Its a way for people to take things for what they are, since a lot of times when it comes to opposite sex we tend to overlook the obvious.
ShannonMI Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 Actually the only ones crying a river are you gals trying to throw the blame at the guy without full knowledge of the facts Be adults. Simple. If you can sleep with a dude who "has a live one", then sucks for you. It says a lot about someone in my opinion. Drunk or not. Ive been sh!!tfaced hammered and still avoided sex and bad situations...not the hardest thing in the world. Im still a firm believer in drunken actions/words are sober thoughts. Alcohol is just a crutch that gives one a convenient excuse later. Read the bolded parts of your posts. You are implying something, are you not? I honestly don't give a rat's ass what you think of me. I just got irritated with your responses and lashed out. My bad. There are plenty of kind and supportive people on LS. I have a thread about my ONS in the sex section of this site. I have 2 + pages of support and understanding from good people. I don't take to heart what a few jerks have to say, but I will give it right back to them if need be.
kaylan Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 (edited) Read the bolded parts of your posts. You are implying something, are you not? I honestly don't give a rat's ass what you think of me. I just got irritated with your responses and lashed out. My bad. There are plenty of kind and supportive people on LS. I have a thread about my ONS in the sex section of this site. I have 2 + pages of support and understanding from good people. I don't take to heart what a few jerks have to say, but I will give it right back to them if need be. I did not imply whore. I implied that in that moment you didnt have enough respect for yourself or the self esteem to kick that tosser to the curb. Im not gonna sugar coat that or lie to you. Id say the same thing about some of my random hook ups. Sometimes it was because I just wanted to have fun. Sometimes it was because I was on the rebound or feeling insecure. Man up(or woman up), and deal with an honest opinion. Childish name calling gets you nothing. Even though I am a guy, if a girl ever texted her friends something that implied she was going to "have me" later that night in the manner that dude did, id be ignoring her from that point on. I never liked that kinda attitude in anyone. And you do take to heart what is said to you, otherwise you wouldnt of lashed out the way you did. Not everyone is going to agree with you. And please, please show me where I said I didnt understand you. 2 pages of people agreeing with you has NOTHING to do with what I AM saying right now. I told you I have had my hook ups and that everyone has been down before. I simply said alcohol is a crutch and gets used an excuse when we do things that WE WANT to do. Regardless if the dude ever texted his friend, something in you was pushing you to sleep with him and chill with him. Thats life. I just dont think alcohol should ever be totally blamed. Maybe I just have more control and cognition when I drink. Sure I can be a bloody mess, but I still stay out of situations unless I absolutely want to put myself in them. Edited December 17, 2011 by kaylan
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