harvej Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 My ex has Borderline Personality Disorder. She is a "Waif" type that can be very dangerous. She broek up with me after I told her I was sick, and normally peopld with BPD cannot focus on anybody else, so she dumped me and moved in with a new guy withen two weeks. She is 40 with a 10 yr old daughter. He is much older, divorced with no kids and had been desperate for her for years. I was doing well with NC for a month now, and I get a text from her today. I read it like a fool, and am now back to pain. She said that I will jump to conclusions about her new boyfriend, but that she wasn't cheating with him before dumping me. She was "hanging out" with him, shopping and talking. She said he opened her eyes to the "opportunities" and that she had known him a long time as a massage client. etc.. She said we never communicated well and was sorry I was sick, but again, she was "over and done with us" before I told her I was ill. This was not true because the week before when i told her she said she wished she could move in with me and take care of me. She went on to say that she has found happiness and her daughter and her get to share the Holidays as a family with her new man. She went on to say they are now living together in semi fashion and it all feels "right". I personally would not let her move in with me because of the red flag |> in that she always moves in with her past boyfriends and I thought it was a bad example to her daughter who also displays NBD/Bi-polar traits and is in T. So I have a dream of her last night, In my dream he has showered her with gifts and paid her bills just like I did, and she was happy and they were all putting up the Christmas Tree together. I had known for along time that something was wrong with this person and I knew she was diagnosed with Bi_Polar Disorder, but displayed my BPD traits to the letter. I just wish I could stop obsessing about her good and bad, and move on without the nightmares and thoughts of her/them. Even her daughter who would normally call me has grown silent. The night I caught them coming back from shopping, she wouldn't even acknowledge me and was just unwrapping the gifts HE had bought her. The rub is that I know the guy she is with and he had been waiting in the wings fro him for along time. He MUST have also recognized her BPD traits by now, but is apparently falling for her. He is 17 years older than her, divorced and has no kids, so he might be blinding himself to her issues as she is pretty hot in bed, and is a LMP which she uses as her Trojan Horse in all relationships. I fell too.. I go between wanting to hate her, forget her and slap her, and this addiction is starting to wear me down when I need my energy to focus on my health. Again, this women cheated several times and denied it until the breakup, and has had 5 relationships in 10 years ALL of the BPD traits, and absolutely no empathy . Is there anybody on this board who has any short cuts to healing or getting obsessive thoughts out of my head. i don't even love this person, i just cannot get past her sphere of influence. I guess Waif BPD women can be very difficult to move past. I did download Mr Phone APP for Droid that blocks her text message now and send her to VM. I also have fleeting moments of revenge seeking, but would never do anything to her. I would rather just forgive and forget, and stop obsessing about her. Do you thin coming to this board exasperates the obsession as I am here often and almost every time I turn on my pc. Can coming here so often keep the wounds open?
Bito Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 I have the same feelings about my bpd ex. i want to forgive and forget but its like my mind is stuck in an obsessive loop of anger and sadness. I gave her everything and she feels no remorse for cheating on me and moving on to the next guy. I can't get this image out of my head where she says "baby, I could never cheat on you" and I remember the smile she had... try to think of this as a good thing. soon enough the new guy will be in your shoes instead. I wish they could feel remorse or guilt but they have a mind of a child when it comes to emotion. They are incapeable of empathy. Take this as learning experence and move on. Stay strong.
M2155 Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Do you thin coming to this board exasperates the obsession as I am here often and almost every time I turn on my pc. Can coming here so often keep the wounds open? Yes in the beginning...but that's what you are going to be thinking about if you're here or not. No as you heal because you turn your focus to help other people.
Zabs Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 This is a generic site Harvej...did you not find www.bpd.com useful? Much love Zabs xx
Author harvej Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 Yes, i have been in both, but embarrassed that I fell victim to the NC rules. I member named Downtown was a good resource and I cant find him anymore. I didnt even know about BPD until he helped me. I thought I was doing well.
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