fucpcg Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 (edited) My ex refuses to speak with me, told me in an email 10 months ago I didn't deserve that from her and she never will again, because I am emotionally abusive *******. Okay that in itself is a long story, so i'll dodge that for now, other than saying none of my friends or exgirlfriends agree with her (I am good friends with every single ex but this one). We live in small town where almost everyone knows everyone, however her and I actually never had common circles. I hated her friends that she hung out with, as they were young immature heavy drinking sluts, and I swear I mean that factually not venomously (PS ex and I are 40). She also had great married with kids friends, but those friends didn't go out on the weekends. My friends are really cool, fun loving, I got my $hit together people. I am very selective about who I spend time with, and am definitely a guy who is known to have my few close friends I associate with, and don't leave my circle just to randomly hang out with someone on a weekend night. Since the split, my ex and all her friends hate me, talk bad about me, are always trying to put me down. When we split I told all my friends please be nice to my ex, I loved her and harbor no ill feelings towards her. Shortly after our breakup, she started shooting my friends texts, that she only knew thru me not befor me, hey let's hang out. The one person she kept in closest contact to is one of my best guy friends who I am always hanging out with and playing sports leagues with. They all made an effort to be nice to her, but then if they did spend time with her, she would start bashing me, so they now all ignore her. I just really don't get the psychology with this one... she has recently contacted my best buddy again, and she KNOWS he's a guy I do tons of stuff with (no way she could even believe him and I aren't friends anymore), what the hell is she thinking, doing, or trying to pull. He has a girlfriend, so she's not trying to screw him to hurt me, for example. So what's up? Edited December 15, 2011 by fucpcg
Author fucpcg Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 Don't think so. She at first blasted me to my friends, but my good buddy kept in communication with her per my approval, just to see what she would say or do next. She went from bashing me beginning of summer, to saying to him let's meet for a drink but I don't want to know anything that is going on with Mike, and I don't want you to tell Mike anything about what is going on in my life, by the end of summer. She has never asked anything about me to any of my friends, only vented her despise of me.
Zabs Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Not being rude F.. but how old are you? That is a classic passive aggressive manouvre! A little bit of reverse psychology...what the ears hear the mind believes...trust me..I am a Woman...I have done that same thing once upon a time...why? Because I NEEDED to know he was hurting as much as I was... Reasons? These vary...can be an ego stroke..but trust me she DOES want to know every little nuance of action in your life...but only WHAT she is lloking to hear..not chapter and verse...you understand? If I give you A and C...the second step ain't hard to figure. She is a collater. This means she will trace things back..things that you won't even remember and then she only requires minimal information to target her next attack. Much love Zabs xx
chados Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Not being rude F.. but how old are you? That is a classic passive aggressive manouvre! A little bit of reverse psychology...what the ears hear the mind believes...trust me..I am a Woman...I have done that same thing once upon a time...why? Because I NEEDED to know he was hurting as much as I was... Reasons? These vary...can be an ego stroke..but trust me she DOES want to know every little nuance of action in your life...but only WHAT she is lloking to hear..not chapter and verse...you understand? If I give you A and C...the second step ain't hard to figure. She is a collater. This means she will trace things back..things that you won't even remember and then she only requires minimal information to target her next attack. Much love Zabs xx haha i have to agree here. it does sound like fishing. doesnt matter if she's angry or not, heck angry is probably a better sign.
Author fucpcg Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 Im 41 ans she's 40, so number one no I haven't ever had a breakup like this one where the girl acted like this and two I'd never suspect such immaturity from a 40 year old. Guess a new learning experience. So I guess ita an opprotunity to tell my friend how well she is doing, knowing for sure that part will get back to me even though she told him not to tell me?
Zabs Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 exactamundo! word up your friend...and you will see I am right ;-) much love Zabs xx
chados Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Im 41 ans she's 40, so number one no I haven't ever had a breakup like this one where the girl acted like this and two I'd never suspect such immaturity from a 40 year old. Guess a new learning experience. So I guess ita an opprotunity to tell my friend how well she is doing, knowing for sure that part will get back to me even though she told him not to tell me? if she's smart she wouldnt want you see her miserable even if she is. if she wants you back that is. and sometimes we are to proud to tell you the actual truth. it could also be the opposite. maybe she wants you to believe she's sad but telling your friends she's fine, but i wouldnt put my 2 cents on that one knowing for sure that part will get back to me even though she told him not to tell me? could be the case, yes
Author fucpcg Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 I've been lost since breakup as I thought we had amazing relationship, and this girl started declaring how much she loved me after two months of dating. Then she went off how much she hated me, as described above, a mere eight months later. I believed she really hated me though, as she said things likedescribed above, and also said before ending communication "I don't miss ANYTHING about our relationship" and "maybe someday I wont hate you enough to maybe be friends with you". I believed she really hated me, so why does she care what's up with me? So then #1 she's hurt and trying to make me hurt, and then #2 maybe she doesn't hate me as she's describing, maybe she is worried about if I am better or worse off without her, and possibly this display of force is a cover for how well she is NOT doing? Since our split I get plenty of intel from my friends. She's had no serious boyfriends, partied a lot, and had a few random sex encounters with guys who went on to bad mouth her. I saw her in passing myself couple weeks ago, and to me she looked totally lost. Maybe she regrets the breakup, but can't go back now because of all the trash she talked about me?
chados Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 I've been lost since breakup as I thought we had amazing relationship, and this girl started declaring how much she loved me after two months of dating. Then she went off how much she hated me, as described above, a mere eight months later. I believed she really hated me though, as she said things likedescribed above, and also said before ending communication "I don't miss ANYTHING about our relationship" and "maybe someday I wont hate you enough to maybe be friends with you". I believed she really hated me, so why does she care what's up with me? So then #1 she's hurt and trying to make me hurt, and then #2 maybe she doesn't hate me as she's describing, maybe she is worried about if I am better or worse off without her, and possibly this display of force is a cover for how well she is NOT doing? Since our split I get plenty of intel from my friends. She's had no serious boyfriends, partied a lot, and had a few random sex encounters with guys who went on to bad mouth her. I saw her in passing myself couple weeks ago, and to me she looked totally lost. Maybe she regrets the breakup, but can't go back now because of all the trash she talked about me? why would you hate someone after a year if you havent done anything thats really mean to her? maybe its because she feels you arent talking to her. and she hasn't been able to find a new guy. and all that trashtalk might make her hit rock bottom. i would guess zabs right about this. she's fishing.
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