FaithInTheDark Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Hi there. I have been single for a while now. Theres this guy I have had my eye on.we have only hung out a few times. he seems interested at times , but then sometimes not. its like hes hot and cold . I felt down we didnt get to spend some one on one time last weekend after talking making plans. so i kinda just gave up and told myself to move on. But i still have a glimmer of hope. my questions is : Is it a good idea to just flat out tell a guy, I think you are someone worth getting to know, letting them know your interested, like putting yourself out there? or is it best to let a guy chase you, make the effort and let u know?let hime come to you? how can u just stop playing alll these games and just putt your self out there without lookin desperate and embarresing yourself?i just dont want to guess anymore
carhill Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Assuming you don't find him attractive, do you think a man is desperate when he 'puts himself out there' to ask you on a date? Why?
Author FaithInTheDark Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 No. I dont think a man is desperite if she asks a girl out. its how he goes about it thou. its just ive been told that guys like the chase and girls usually play it cool until they get asked out. im just not sure how to go about this
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 You guys sound young...so you'll likely have to string this out and play the little "are you interested in me too" game. If I was in your shoes I'd find ways to test the waters so speak...try touching him maybe a little more often, or being flirtatious but casually not like in your face. Do little things that spark in his mind that you may be interested without making it completely clear. It's not bad when a woman flat out tells you she is interested, but for a lot of douche bag guys out there who need an ego rub sometimes they'll take that and run with it, and change their attitude. They kinda get this attitude like "I have this in the bag so it's guaranteed now", and you don't want a guy to ever feel like that way about you. Keep a little mystery, be a little bit confusing...that's how women play cat and mouse and get the guy to move If he's interested. I do the same thing with women partly because I'm an ass and like to get chased myself and partly because I want to be sure that she's into me before putting myself out there...of course there's a difference to how men and women work so they are not the same strategies or ways of accomplishing this.
DearAbby Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 See, I have had bad experiences putting myself out there. When I don't do a thing, the guys work really hard to win me over and get me, so to speak. The last time I flat out put myself out there, was aggressive, and chased a guy, it blew up on me. He would speak to me if i initiated contact but never asked me out LOL. I don't even know why I was so interested in him, but that is another story altogether. In any case, my advice to you is lay low. When you see him again, flirt with him be cute and go from there.
Author FaithInTheDark Posted December 18, 2011 Author Posted December 18, 2011 You guys sound young...so you'll likely have to string this out and play the little "are you interested in me too" game. If I was in your shoes I'd find ways to test the waters so speak...try touching him maybe a little more often, or being flirtatious but casually not like in your face. Do little things that spark in his mind that you may be interested without making it completely clear. It's not bad when a woman flat out tells you she is interested, but for a lot of douche bag guys out there who need an ego rub sometimes they'll take that and run with it, and change their attitude. They kinda get this attitude like "I have this in the bag so it's guaranteed now", and you don't want a guy to ever feel like that way about you. Keep a little mystery, be a little bit confusing...that's how women play cat and mouse and get the guy to move If he's interested. I do the same thing with women partly because I'm an ass and like to get chased myself and partly because I want to be sure that she's into me before putting myself out there...of course there's a difference to how men and women work so they are not the same strategies or ways of accomplishing this. Thanks! this is really useful advice
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